Chapter Four: Topsy-Turvy Day
After chad gotten a cloak to hide his face, hair and his chest, he climbed down from the bell tower and landed just far enough above the crowd to see the procession.
Come one. Come all.
Leave your loops and milking stools.
Coop the hens and pen the mules.
Hiccup then grabbed a rope and slid down to a pole holding up a tent and dropped down.
Come on. Come all.
Close the churches and the schools.
Come and join the feast of…
"Fools!" A tan man with brown hair and beard called out as he appeared in the street. Hiccup was right in front of the man, and he tried to move away before he got a good luck at him, but he just grabbed Hiccup's wrist. Hiccup knew who he was of course. Trader Johann the leader of the gypsies.
Once a year we throw a party here in town.
Once a year we turn all Paris upside down.
Every man's a king and every king's a clown.
Once again it's Topsy-Turvy Day.
Hiccup then saw Johann glance at him and quickly walked away.
It's a day the devil I us gets released.
It's a day we mock the king and sock the priest.
Hiccup hid his face by holding several balloons, but Johann arrived and cut the strings with a pair of scissors. He then rushed off again. He then saw a procession of dogs walking people. That was a new addition to the feast.
Topsy Turvy!
Everything is upsy-daisy!
Topsy Turvy!
Everybody's acting crazy!
Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet.
That's the way on Topsy Turvy Day.
Hiccup backed away from a procession of girls doing the can-can and ended up falling through a tent.
"Whoa!" Hiccup called out as a girl in a robe covered herself a bit more. She had blue eyes, long red hair, and skin as pale as his.
"Hey!" The woman called out. She then looked at Hiccup on the floor and added calmly. "Are you alright?"
"I didn't mean to." Hiccup said nervously as he pulled his hood lower over his eyes and chest. "I'm sorry."
"You're not hurt are you?" The woman asked. "Here, let's see."
"No, no!" Hiccup protested until the woman lowered his hood and looked at his face.
"There." Iris said. "No harm done. Just try to be a little more careful, okay?"
"Uh… okay." Hiccup said.
"By the way, great fake tattoo." The woman said. "Anyone would think it's were real."
Hiccup smiled nervously as the woman went back inside. He then turned back to the festival and saw a man in a lobster outfit pushing a pot with a cook in it.
Topsy Turvy!
Beat the drums and blow the trumpets!
Topsy Turvy!
Join the bums and thieves and strumpets!
Streaming in from Chartres to Calais,
Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy.
On the six of "Januervy"!
All because it's Topsy Turvy Day!
As Drew arrived with his men, he had them spread out to make sure a riot didn't occur. Then, the brown haired man, Johann, Drew believed he was called, started calling out.
Come one. Come all.
Hurry, hurry, here's your chance.
See the mystery and romance.
Come one! Come all!
See the finest girl in France,
Make an entrance to entrance!
Dance Lady Iris… DANCE!
Johann hopped onto the stage and threw down a powder that caused a large amount of smoke to appear, and when it cleared, the gypsy Drew had met earlier, Iris, he guessed, began dancing in a revealing red outfit that left her arms bare.
"Look at that disgusting display!" Alvin said angrily.
"Yes sir." Drew said with interest as he watched Iris dance a more… Adult… version of the dance she did earlier that day.
Iris, with her feet barely touching the ground, then skipped up to Alvin and put a sash with stars, crescent moons, and suns on it around Alvin neck and smiled at him before playfully pushing him back. Everyone laughed as Alvin simply fumed. Iris then did several spins and a split as she winked at an individual in a purple cloak. Iris ended the dance by taking a soldier's spear, placing it on the ground, and spinning around it before holding her arms out when she finished. Everyone cheered at Iris's acrobatic skills and threw several gold coins onto the stage, including Drew.
"And now ladies and gentlemen," Johann called out. "The piece de resistance!"
Here it is!
The moment you've been waiting for.
Here it is!
You know exactly what's in store.
Now it's time to laugh until our sides get sore.
Now's the time we crown the King of Fools!
"You all remember last year's king?" Johann called out as he pointed to a make-shift throne held up by four men. On the throne was a plump man dressed like a jester, and he gave a loud burp. His hat also had a similar design to a crown.
So make a face that's horrible and frightening!
Make a face a gruesome as a gargoyle's wing!
For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Fools!
Why?
Topsy Turvy!
Ugly folks, forget your shyness!
Iris then pulled Hiccup up as he forgot himself and looked at her beautiful and somehow familiar face, as if he'd seen her before in a dream.
Topsy Turvy!
You could soon be called your highness!
Put your foulest features on display!
Be the king of Topsy Turvy Day!
One by one, Iris removed the mask everyone else was wearing, and at the boos, Iris's Snow Fury, kicked him off the stage. When they got to Hiccup, Iris tugged gently rubbed on Hiccup's chest only to discover that it was real. Everyone then gasped. Only one man in France had such odd coloring.
"That's not a tattoo!" A woman called out. "It's his real birthmark! And look at its color! That's not natural!"
"It's the bell ringer from Notre Dame!" A man called out as Hiccup put his hand over his face before Johann held him back and smiled.
"Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic." Johann advised. "We asked for one of the most frightening faces in Paris, and here he is. Hiccup Haddock, the Dragon Boy of Notre Dame!"
Johann then placed the crown on Hiccup's head as everyone cheered.
Everybody!
Once a year we throw a party here in town! (Hail to the King.)
Once a year we turn all Paris upside down! (Oh what a king.)
Every man's a king and every king's a clown! (Girl's give a kiss.)
Once a year on Topsy Turvy Day! (We've never had a kiss.)
Hiccup then waved nervously at Alvin who starred on with angry disapproval.
And it's a day we do the things that we deplore
On the other three-hundred and sixty-four!
Hiccup was then taken to a stand with a large turnstile on it as Johann put a king's cloak on his shoulders as Hiccup smiled.
Once a year we love to drop in
Where the beer is never stoppin'!
For the chance to pop some popinjay!
Johann then handed Hiccup a small gold plated scepter as Hiccup's smile widened.
And pick a king who'll put the "top" in
Topsy Turvy…
Topsy Turvy!
Mad and crazy
Upsy-daisy
Topsy Turvy Day!
Everyone then cheered as Drew joined in. Hiccup didn't look all that bad to him anyway. In the crusades he had made allies of various people with several different types of hair, eyes, and skin.
"You think he's ugly now?" Drew heard Bucket ask Mulch. "Watch this." And he threw a tomato at Hiccup's face.
Several people gasped in surprise.
"Now that's ugly!" Bucket called out.
"Hail to the king!" Another soldier called out as he tossed another tomato at him.
Several of the people backed away while the crueler ones joined the soldiers in throwing food at him. Hiccup shielded himself and walk away, but a man with a rope called out, "Hey where are you going? The fun's just beginning!" And he threw the rope around Hiccup's neck and several others then threw ropes around his left arm. Hiccup tried to wrench himself free, but they simply threw more ropes around him and tied him to the spinning wheel. Drew noticed that none of the gypsies were in the group torturing the poor man. The cruel people then started spinning the wheel around as they began throwing eggs and tomatoes at him again.
()()()()()
Iris walked out of her tent, having changed into her usual beige attire when she saw what several people who had cheered moments earlier were doing to that poor boy, Hiccup.
()()()()()
"Master!" Hiccup called out to Alvin. "Master, please help me!"
Alvin simply turned away.
Drew guessed that Alvin and Hiccup were closed and approached him.
"Sir!" Drew called out. "I request permission to stop this cruelty!"
"In a moment, Captain." Alvin said with an odd smile on his face. "A lesson needs to be learned here."
Suddenly, the people who were torturing Hiccup stopped as Iris walked up.
()()()()()
"Don't be afraid." Iris said soothingly as she took off a sash she used for a belt.
Iris bent down next to Hiccup's face and wiped the food off of his face.
"I'm sorry." Iris said sadly. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"You, Gypsy Girl!" Alvin called out. "Get down at once!"
"Yes your honor." Iris said. "Just as soon as I free this poor boy."
"I forbid it!" Alvin called out.
Iris then pulled a knife from a strap on her ankle and cut Hiccup free in one swift stroke.
"How dare you defy me?" Alvin asked angrily.
"You mistreat this poor boy the same way you mistreat my people!" Iris called back just as angry. He was supposed to uphold the laws, and not let what happened to Hiccup happen at all! "You speak of justice, and yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help!"
"SILENCE!" Alvin shouted.
"JUSTICE!" Iris shouted back.
The people who had backed off returned at the shouting and starred in awe at Iris while the cruel ones backed away.
Iris then helped Hiccup up.
"Mark my words, Gypsy!" Alvin said angrily. "You will pay for this insolence!"
"Then it appears we crowned the wrong fool." Iris said with a smirk. "The only fool I see is you."
Iris then took off the jester's hat Hiccup wore and tossed it at Alvin's feet. Twilight then laugh at Alvin.
()()()()()
"Captain Drew, arrest her." Alvin said coldly.
Solemnly, Drew snapped his fingers and pointed at Iris.
Ten guards then arrived on horseback.
"Now let's see…" Iris said. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine… So there's ten of you and only one of me." She then began to tear up. "What's a poor orphaned girl to do?" She then pulled a cloth from her shirt and blew into it as a large puff of smoke appeared, and when it cleared, nothing was there.
"Witchcraft…" Drew heard Alvin mutter. Personally, Drew suspected some kind of magic trick as he didn't believe in magic all that much, but he still liked watching it just for a laugh.
"Oh boys…" Iris's voice said with a smile as she stood by several jack-o-lanterns with a smile on her face.
"Get her!" Mulch called out as he and Bucket rushed after Iris. Iris then rushed away as the crowd helped carry her off as she waved, and when the guards jumped down, the crowd parted, and they landed flat on their faces.
Iris then ran into three guards and used a cage that held a small, old man to help her get some leverage to kick them far away, the cage then broke off, and Iris rolled the cage like a lumberjack rolled a log and jumped off as she got behind a man standing on very large stilts who kicked the five guards chasing her in their groins as they all let out extremely high screams.
Iris then jumped off as the cage ran into more guards and burst open.
"I'm free!" The old man said. "I'm free!"
The old man then tripped and ended up trapped in a stockade.
"Dang it."
Iris then used a large banner to toss a pursuing guard away, and as his helmet fell neatly on her head, she casually tossed it aside, knocking out three guards on horseback. Drew had to duck before it cut off his head.
"What a woman." Drew said in an impressed voice.
As the remaining guards chased Iris while riding Twilight like horseback, Iris grabbed a long pole Johann tossed her, and she handed it to the guard as she ducked down, and they ended up running into the seat Alvin was in and completely destroyed it. Alvin, disheveled but unhurt arose and saw Iris stand on a podium, and with a swish of a long cloth, she and Twilight disappeared.
()()()()()
It began to rain. Alvin starred angrily at Hiccup for causing all of this commotion. Hiccup turned away as Alvin got on his black horse.
"Find her, Captain!" Alvin spat angrily. "I want her alive."
"Yes sir." Drew said. "Spread out, men. Find the Gypsy girl, and do not harm her."
()()()()()
Alvin then starred angrily at Hiccup as he starred down.
"I'm sorry master." Hiccup said in an ashamed voice. "I will never disobey you again."
Hiccup then walked back to Notre Dame as several people backed away and commented on how hideous he his birthmark and how he looked.
Hiccup entered the church and closed the door as tears filled his face. He had gotten his day out there, and he wished he'd never had it.
Chaos dose not own The Hunchback of Notre Dame or HTTYD but she owns Iris and Twilight the Snow Fury, Hikari belongs to WingBladeWeaver1357, and Drew belongs to RedDiEnd.