We're pretty close to fluff, I promise.
Chapter 6
/GPOV/
I can't believe I've fallen asleep, but this seems to be it as I hear Elrond yell my name. He's always harsh out of debate club meetings. I try to understand when I've managed to doze off. It's been weeks since I've gotten some sleep, maybe even months - but I'm glad, sort of. At least I don't dream of her anymore.
I haven't seen her since that night. Christmas break I spent back with my family. I got mittens and a sweatshirt from mom and a black eye from dad. (When will you grow up, useless scum, I am ashamed of you) I came back around three this morning, and I didn't sleep in the train, or at my place, so I guess that's why I was asleep during History. I'm wondering what Eowyn did this holiday.
It's the end of the lecture, so I just ask to be excused, grab my bag and head out. I think my brain is about to explode.
Migraine. Great. I thought I had gotten rid of that.
I get a bottle of coke from the vending machine and lean on the wall, pressing my freezing fingers against my forehead. I can almost feel the pulsating pain materialize under my skin. It's sometimes nice to be always cold. Theo used to say I was a vampire.
Before I killed him.
fuckfuckfuckfuck
stupid
useless
monster
killermurdererslayerMONSTER
.HIM.HIM
"Grima?" Eowyn's worried voice is what takes me back to the worldofnormalpeople. I'm rocking back and forth and gasping for every breath and I'm goingtodie; I dare not say I seem human right now. I look up at her and whisper, "I killed him I killed him I killed him," I chant and chant. I think I'm crying. Eowyn presses her index finger against my lips and grabs my arm. I stand up next to her, knee shaking combined with creepers making me unable to walk properly, but she drags me down the hall anyway. "C'mon, Grima," she turns to look at me and gives me a tiny smile. "Where are we going?" "To see him."
The graveyard. I hadn't been here before. It's all so... quiet. I can imagine Poe writing here. Eowyn silently walks before me, sneaking between tombstones, leaning away from marble angels, until she stops. There he is.
"THEODRED O'ROHAN
FOREVER 19
REST IN PEACE, SWEETEST CHILD"
I'm more outraged than sad. Seriously? Seriously?! Couldn't they at least put a Rimbaud quote, something like that? Did they not know their son the slightest?
"And here are my parents, " Eowyn waves her pale hand towards a double grave. No pictures, no words, just two detailed roses wrapped around each other are craved into the marble. "It's exactly two years today," I hear her whisper and look up to meet her gaze. A stray tear has dropped from her eye and is now slowly dancing down her colorless cheek. I extend my hand and dry the tear with the tip of my thumb.
Eowyn looks at me. Her eyes are like the oceans in old movies. Distant. Cold. Dusty. All colors last a lifetime and then fade to grey, I remember - her eyes must be ancient. I've never seen eyes like hers. She is neither Light nor Dark. How can this be?
I place my other hand on her shoulder and lean forward to press my dry lips against her forehead. She lets out a sigh, then her rose red lips' corners curl up, forming a shy smile. "Thank you," she whispers. I figure you can only whisper where the dead rest. I try and smile back. There is no trace left from my panic attack. I am clean.
As clean as the Dark can be, it is.
We sit on a wooden bench near Theo and her parents. She's looking at the ground and I'm looking at the sky. Clouds start to roll in, and they smell like thunders and snow. "It might snow," I note, and she turns her head at me, seemingly disoriented. She nods and half-smiles. "Snow means angels. That's nice." I guess we all interprete snow our own way.
"How was your holiday?" She sighs. "Lonely. Not so festive. Walked in on my brother and his girlfriend at least eight times," she snorts, and I struggle not to laugh. "Nothing new, I guess. Yours?" I point at the now-purple circle around my right eye. "Spent it with my family," I smile. Eowyn gasps in horror. "Your parents did this to you?" I shrug my shoulders. "Dad is sometimes harsh on me, but he's not that bad." "Is he not?" I shake my head and look at her unbelieving eyes. "You have no idea. This is cute compared to what grandpa used to do to him. He was taught this way. I can't blame him," I turn to stare at the sky again, and a snowflake lands on my nose. I giggle and point at the sky. "See? Told you it was going to snow!" And her smile is so full of bliss, if I were to draw an icon that would be my model. She raises her palm, catching the first snowflakes of the year. I stick out my tongue like a five-year-old, and laugh as I feel little pieces of ice melting on both tips of it, and I couldn't care less that someone took their life because of me, not right now. Right now I'm carefree. I gently grab Eowyn's small hand and give it a light squeeze, stroking her inner palm with my thumb. She looks at me, and for the first time her eyes aren't sorrowful.
That would be a good moment to kiss her, but she probably doesn't like me that way, and it would sure be inappropriate considering that we're sitting next to her parents and the first person who's kissed me. So I boop her nose with my index finger.
And she laughs.
And I could watch her laugh for the rest of my life.