A/N: Well it's good to see people are excited about this story XD

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Once the group had finished signing up for the boat race, their next order of business was deciding who was actually going to participate.

"It looks like everybody else is in groups of two, so only two of us can do it," said Ribbon. "So how are we going to decide who's going and who's staying?"

"A cage match?" Adeleine asked eagerly.

Ribbon glared at her. "I was thinking more like drawing straws."

"Hey guys… I think before we decide that, we should figure out where we're getting our boat," Kirby spoke up, gesturing at all the competing teams lining up in the river. "We can't exactly be in the race without one of those."

Everyone turned to look at him. "…Kirby, you signed us up for a boat race and you don't even know where we're getting our boat from?" Waddle Dee asked.

Kirby suddenly realized everyone was staring at him and started blushing. "Uh… heh heh… yeah, I guess I did. Fancy that, huh?"

"The smacking offer still stands," Dedede said to Ribbon.

"No, I somehow doubt that will help anything," Ribbon sighed, waving his hammer away. "So to summarize… the race is starting in half an hour and we have no boat, no idea where to get a boat, and absolutely zero boating experience between the five of us. I can already tell this is going to be beautiful."

"Aw come on, Ribbon, we've faced worse odds than this before!" Kirby said encouragingly. "Anyway, that's still plenty of time to find a boat. And if we can't do that we'll just steal one, like that time we hijacked a semi off the freeway!"

Ribbon finally snapped. "NO! We are not stealing anything! Kirby, doing this race in the first place was your idea, so you and Waddle Dee go get us a boat the right way. I don't care how you do it, but do not break any laws and do not cause a scene."

Kirby frowned guiltily. "Sorry, Ribbon."

"Don't worry, Kirby, this won't be hard," said Waddle Dee, who was very used to dealing with his friend's grandiose schemes. "All we gotta do is find something that floats and will fit two of us. It'll be a snap."

"And if all else fails, you can just use Dedede. Fat floats, right?" said Adeleine.

"Are you actively seeking death?" Dedede snapped at her, swinging his hammer at her just before she ducked out of the way. Within seconds he was chasing her up and down the riverbank and shouting threats at her while she laughed hysterically.

"…Uh, okay Ribbon, we'll be back soon," Kirby finally said. "And I promise we'll have the best boat you've ever seen!"

––

"You guys will never believe the awesome boat we found!" he boasted after coming back a while later. "The fates are smiling down on us, guys! We've got this race in the bag!"

Ribbon, Adeleine and Dedede looked at him skeptically, noticing that this boat happened to be nowhere to be seen. "Okay… so where is it?" asked Ribbon, praying that she wouldn't regret asking that question.

"Oh, right. Okay, you guys ready for this?" said Kirby, looking thrilled. "Feast your eyes on… the Riptide Racer!"

He stood off to the side to reveal Waddle Dee, who was panting and wheezing as he visibly struggled to hold up…

Ribbon blinked. "Kirby, that's a box."

"I know right? Isn't it the greatest?"

"Next time you're carrying this thing," Waddle Dee hissed at him.

Adeleine and Dedede briefly glanced at each other before they both burst out laughing, finally collapsing to the ground in hysterics. Ribbon sighed deeply and tried to stay patient.

"Kirby… I appreciate the effort, but everybody else is using actual boats. That thing is a wooden crate with slits in it. It's not going to work."

Kirby frowned. "Oh, come on! You're going to shoot us down just like that?" he demanded as Waddle Dee finally collapsed under its weight. "Do you have any idea how many dumpsters we had to go rummaging through to find this thing?"

"One?"

"…Yeah, but it was a really big one."

"Bwahahaha!" came a very mocking laugh from behind them. "Is that your guys' idea of a boat? You losers need to quit while you're ahead!"

Surprised, everyone turned to face the voice and found themselves looking at a very cocky-looking Poppy Bro, standing with his arms folded and a smug grin on his face. Standing next to him was an equally cocky-looking Sparky, presumably his racing partner.

"Excuse me, do we know you?" Ribbon asked irritably.

"No, but you're about to," the Poppy Bro crowed. "My name is Boomer, and this here is Amp. And we're the ones who will be beating you today."

"Yeah! We've won this race for the past three years in a row!" the Sparky chimed in, hopping up and down. "We're the undisputed boat racing champions!"

Dedede rolled his eyes. "Wow. Congratulations. That makes you the biggest no-lifes in the entire vicinity."

Kirby did not look impressed at all. "Oh yeah? Well don't you know who we are?" he snapped. "I'm Kirby, and these are my less impressive friends! Maybe you've heard of us, or seen us on the news."

Boomer looked at him for a moment. "Huh? Oh yeah… aren't you the guys who hijacked that semi off the freeway?"

"All right, enough of this," Ribbon said sharply, pushing Kirby out of the way and turning to their two competitors. "Look, it's very nice to meet both of you, but there's no need to get at each other's throats. I'm sure we'll have a good clean race, and the trophy will go to the team that deserves it the most."

Boomer let out a derisive snort. "And you think that's gonna be you guys? You're driving that thing?" He pointed at the crate, which still had Waddle Dee crushed underneath it. "Get real! Me and Amp here are gonna show you how it's really done! Get ready for the most humiliating defeat of your puny lives!"

They both threw their heads back and laughed maliciously, even keeping it up as they turned and walked away. Kirby was left with his jaw hanging open.

"Oh yeah?" he called after them."Well – well you guys had better prepare for the most… uh… Dedede! Help me think of a comeback!"

"Nah, it's more fun to just stand back here and mock you."

"Attention! Attention everyone!" came a loud voice. Everyone turned to see Mr. Gallant standing on the dock. "The 38th Annual Sapphire River Race will be commencing in ten minutes! All racers please report to the starting line at this time!"

As the other racers began jumping into their boats and getting ready to take off, Ribbon let out a groan. "Great. Well, we're out of time. Looks like you guys will have to use that crate after all," she said impatiently. "And you've also solved the problem of who's going to be in the race. You and Waddle Dee are the only ones who can fit in that thing."

She grabbed Kirby by the arm before he could go charging off. "Now Kirby… I know you have this competitive streak and you don't like other people showing you up, but please… don't let that Boomer guy interfere with your racing, okay?" she asked seriously. "We can't afford to lose this race because of some petty little fight. If it comes down to it, you have to be the bigger man and turn the other cheek."

Kirby frowned in deep thought, seeming to be contemplating this. "Well…"

"Or you could just cream that little punk! Make him suffer! Death and destruction!" Adeleine cheered, throwing her arms in the air.

Kirby instantly brightened up. "I like the way she thinks!" he said excitedly. "Come on, Waddle Dee! Let's go show those jerks what's up!"

"I can't feel my limbs," Waddle Dee croaked out as Kirby grabbed him by the foot and dragged him off.

––

Within minutes, Kirby and Waddle Dee had joined the other racers and were sitting in their crate, which was (miraculously) floating in front of the starting line along with their several dozen competitors.

"WOO! Go Kirby and Waddle Dee!" Adeleine cheered, standing on the shore with the many other spectators and waving a pennant. "Get out there and win! And remember the universe will fall to eternal darkness if you don't!"

"Don't you have something else you could be doing?" Ribbon asked her impatiently.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome, one and all, to the 38th Annual Sapphire River Race!" Mr. Gallant shouted through a megaphone from on the dock. "The rules are very simple! The team of two that makes it all the way downstream and crosses the finish line first will be the winner of the race… and this amazing trophy!"

"Hey, Kirby," Waddle Dee said in the meantime. "Uh… I'm kind of nervous about this, so promise you won't go doing anything crazy while we're in this boat together, okay?"

Kirby gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Waddle Dee… you know I'd never do anything to endanger my friends."

He suddenly noticed Boomer sitting in his boat with Amp across from the two of them, wiggling his fingers over his head and sticking his tongue out at Kirby.

"DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!" Kirby screamed, jumping up and down and nearly flipping the crate over.

"I hate my life," Waddle Dee sighed.

"Now good luck, and may the best team win!" said Mr. Gallant, snapping Kirby back to attention. "Racers! On your marks…"

Everyone leaned forward.

"Get set…"

Ribbon started biting her nails.

BANG!

Mr. Gallant fired a pistol into the sky, and all at once the air was filled with cheers and shouts from the spectators lining the river as the boats zoomed out of the starting line and took off downstream.