FELICITY SMOAK
Felicity woke with a start. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and her body was dripping with sweat. Another dream of Slade ran frame by frame through her head. She took a deep breath, the images plaguing her once innocent mind. The day haunts her. Slade's dirty, calloused fingers gripping her thin pale neck. His teasingly malicious voice is all that could be heard in her ears. She was so close to death, and he had been the one who could of taken it away as easily as it was to breathe. Felicity didn't know why this was getting to her. She had always thought she was strong, and being on Team Arrow that she could handle anything you threw her way. Oh, how wrong she had been.
She was weak, something she was just beginning to realize. She could give Oliver pep talks about saving the city, or changing his ways, but it is her that needs to change. She shouldn't be so weak, so fragile. She shouldn't be helpless. Felicity realized that every time she has been captured she didn't end up saving herself. It was always Oliver, or Diggle, or even Sara. She wasn't a hero. Not like all of them.
She remembers when Sara, Diggle, and Oliver were showing each other their scars. She had felt so useless. She had even questioned her value on the team. But she realized the boys did need her and her techy ways. And there was nothing wrong with being nerdy. She knew that. That is just the way she is, that is who she is at her core. But can you blame her for wanting to be powerful, or strong?
Felicity knows she's not in Oliver's league. She is just the friend-zoned Felicity. The girl who helps him be the Arrow late at night by being his eyes and his ears. She isn't attractive to him. And she doesn't blame him for it. He could have any girl he wants, and he has made it pretty clear in the past that he wanted to be just friends.
When Oliver told Felicity he loved her, he had her fooled. For a second, she thought that she had a chance. That maybe being the way she was was enough for the rich and slightly famous Oliver Queen. That was another thing she had been wrong about.
When Oliver handed her the vile, her heart had been crushed. "Do you understand me, Felicity." And she did. It was all an act. It was just a hoax. It was Oliver's plan to take down Slade. Her speech earlier had inspired him, but that didn't even matter in that moment. She did her best to paint the best mask she could, so that the plan wouldn't be ruined by her stupid feelings being crushed.
Felicity was naive to think Oliver liked her like that. She was just- Felicity. And he was the Arrow, a hero, and Oliver freaking Queen.
She stood up from her bed, and decided she was going to take a nice long shower to rid her mind of all of these negative thoughts before she faced him once again.