A/N: And here we finally are, the last chapter of this epic tale! Once again, I'm super sorry I dragged this out for so long. I really do love writing about these guys, but as I'm sure you all know, sometimes life gets in the way. I'm glad I was able to present you all with the ending, and I hope you'll all stay tuned for my new, considerably less humorous multichapter fic that should be going up fairly soon.
––
Once all the confusion had died down, Kirby, his compatriots, and everybody else started taking stock of the results of that day. Mr. Gallant was gone and likely never coming back, everyone unanimously agreed to suspend the annual river race permanently, and the Kanys were free to return to their home. All that remained was to figure out where to go from here.
"I can't believe it… that two-bit dino-breath was playing us the whole time," Boomer sighed, sitting on the riverbank and resting his head in his hands. "Oh well. At least we still won the race and beat Kirby."
Kirby glared at him. "Dude, you won a race that was orchestrated to make that guy money and keep the Kanys away. That's nothing to be proud of."
"Yeah, but you guys still lost. Ha!"
Kirby quickly lost his patience and looked ready to slug the Poppy Bro before Ribbon grabbed him. "Okay, you two, listen. There's literally no reason for you to be fighting anymore! You were only at each other's throats in the first place because of the race, and in case you didn't notice, you two are a lot more effective when you're working together." She folded her arms. "I know you don't want to admit it, but you're a lot more alike than you think."
Kirby and Boomer seemed to ponder this in silence for a moment, glancing at each other and shuffling around awkwardly at Ribbon's words.
"Well… I guess you're right, Ribbon. As usual," Kirby sighed. "I guess us fighting all the time was exactly what Mr. Gallant wanted. And y'know Boomer, you really are pretty good at chucking bombs."
"Yeah, you're not half bad yourself," Boomer conceded.
Kirby brightened up. "Ya think? 'Cause I got fifty-five other awesome powers too! I can turn into a refrigerator and – "
"Okay, shut up. Let's just agree we can stop fighting and be friends," said Boomer. "Man, this actually feels pretty good. I guess we'd better go find Waddle Dee and Amp and tell them to follow our example."
"Dude, the two of us patched things up hours ago. We were tag teaming for most of that fight," Amp said impatiently from where he and Waddle Dee were off talking.
"We're pen pals now!" Waddle Dee added cheerfully.
Boomer's face fell. "Oh, forget it."
"Well, it's good to see you two finally worked that out," said Ribbon. "Now I suppose we need to figure out how to fix up this river."
"Leave that to me," Dedede said confidently. "Okay ladies and gentlemen, listen up! Since you were all stupid enough to trash this river in the first place, now you get to clean it up. And since I'm the only one here with an actual position of authority, I hereby appoint myself head of the cleaning committee."
Ribbon looked impressed. "Really, Dedede? You're willing to take on that responsibility? That's admirable of you."
"Well, why not? It means I get to sit around and order people around. Next to smashing stuff, that's what I'm best at!"
"I hate everyone," Ribbon groaned.
––
While everyone recognized that the river wouldn't go back to normal overnight, after several hours of everybody working together cleaning, it was already starting to look better. Kirby's team grew confident that it was all right for them to leave and carry on with their quest and leave the natives to take care of the rest.
"Wow Dedede, I'm really impressed. I didn't know you were this good at organizing stuff," said Adeleine.
"Well, obviously. How d'you think I got to be king in the first place?"
"I always assumed you just paid everyone to start calling you that."
"We cannot thank you for everything you've done for us, Kirby," said the giant Kany as they prepared to set off. "Before too long, this river should go back to being the home we remember. We have been away for too long."
Kirby grinned sheepishly. "Hey, no biggie. Helping people out is what I do… unless they get on my nerves. Then I just beat them up. Or eat them."
"…Yes, well. We Kanys wish you luck on your noble quest. I am confident that you will purge the universe of this darkness."
"Hey, that reminds me. We still need that Crystal Shard!" Ribbon exclaimed. "Where's that trophy?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah… here you guys go," Boomer sighed as he detached the shard from his prized trophy and gave it to Kirby. "I guess this trophy really is just a hunk of plastic, after all… y'know, I was kind of skeptical when I first heard you guys needed this thing to save the entire universe from being destroyed."
"I guess it is a pretty hard story to swallow," Kirby admitted.
"Well, mostly I didn't believe it because that black-haired chick was telling us about it."
"Yeah, and I used sock puppets!" Adeleine said cheerfully, holding up both of her hands which indeed had sock puppets on them. "Look, here's Kirby and Ribbon! I tried to make one for Dedede too, but the sock wasn't fat enough – ACK!" she cried as Dedede grabbed her by the ear and dragged her off.
"Well, I guess that's our cue. See you guys around," said Kirby, waving goodbye to Boomer and Amp as he and his friends set off away from the river and toward their next adventure.
"Well, what a day that was," he said fondly as they were all walking together. "We got to be in a race, beat up a bunch of punks, and now we're one step closer to saving the universe!"
"Well, I'm glad you at least enjoyed yourself," Waddle Dee muttered as he trudged alongside him.
Kirby glanced at him. "What, you didn't have fun, Waddle?"
"Kirby, that whole race I thought you were gonna kill both of us. I'm surprised my heart's still in working order," the brown puffball complained. "Whatever. I know it was necessary and all, but I'm honestly just glad it's all over and we don't have to do anything like that again."
––
"YEEEEEAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!" Waddle Dee screamed at the top of his lungs as he and Kirby zoomed down a flimsy set of tracks at breakneck speed in a shoddy little mine cart. "WHY ME? WHY ME?!"
"WOOOOOO! THIS IS AWESOME!" Kirby cheered, waving his arms over his head. "Uh oh – WATCH OUT!" The cart crashed into a large rock jutting out of the ground, went somersaulting through the air, then slammed back down on the tracks on the other side and kept going. "My bad."
"Good thing I brought some more of this stuff," said Dedede, eating some more popcorn as he, Ribbon and Adeleine stood back and watched this.
"Those two are going to kill themselves," said Ribbon. "I feel like we should do something to help…"
All three of them glanced at each other, remembering everything they'd had to go through the last time.
"Nah," they all said.
THE END!
