Tales of the Alternate Universe
Chapter Twenty-two: The Land of Ooo
Catastrophe… What is the meaning of this singular word? Some define it as a violent and sudden disaster, a horrible event. You may also describe it as an utter failure or a destructive incident. I'd personally like to find its meaning in a more literary term: the final event of a dramatic action, the closing of a tragedy.
I never thought that this word would be the perfect adjective to describe the history of our world…
An ancient war ragged upon the planet, sowing a seed of destruction beneath our bare feet. For centuries it remained unnoticed, buried underground, sterile and dead within the darkness… It was never meant to germinate… Or so we thought.
It was fate or just pure misfortune what led young Finn Mertens to set that bomb off. Vested with the power of a mysterious crown, the enraged boy unleashed his freezing wrath against the ominous flames that threatened to eat away everything he once knew and loved.
As he lost control over his mind, his newly acquired powers began to run wild, ultimately bursting the atomic power of the hidden missile after striking the earth mercilessly with his frozen bolts.
Oblivious to those hazardous events, we the common folk, suffered great uncertainty while the once blue skies above us grew dark and a mass of crying phantoms rose in the horizon, shortly after a blinding light exploded somewhere in our beloved land.
Just a few villagers managed to survive the explosion. We were left behind to wonder why were we destined to live another day in an already condemned world. Then, hunger drove us to leave our homes and everything we had once possessed. It was a never-ending journey of peril and sickness.
Our quest for food and shelter was nothing but a failure, another catastrophe. A mysterious wave of cold weakened our exhausted bodies, destroyed every crop in the fields and killed most of our livestock. Those who managed to survive the continued swarm of winter storms that struck the land, suffered from other unknown diseases. We noticed blisters and changes in the color of our skin, as well as many other physical alterations in our bodies. I guess I could blame the atomic radiation for that…
In the end we were too weak and weary to continue venturing into the bleakness of our new world, which forced us to leave our nomadic ways and get established in the middle of nowhere. The years came and went, never bringing news of other towns or cities with them. We began to believe that we were the last humans on Earth…
We became endangered species; at least that is what the gradual appearance of ferocious creatures in the land made us think. It all started with a glimpse of a gigantic winged-reptile, crossing the greyish skies. Then, eight months after that strange sighting, our small village was attacked by a herd of colorful equines, which came from within strange crystal portals that were suddenly opened around us.
Those beautiful but frightening beasts could have devoured us all if it wasn't for the bravery of our youngest member, the last Mertens boy. Using the sharpness of an old rusty blade, the young man managed to scare away those monsters and save what remained of our village.
Right after obtaining his victory, the brown-haired lad left our side, swearing to return with news of the outside world, food and medicines. We never saw him again since then…
This is the last piece of humanity's history. As I feel my own life slipping through my fingers, I'll devote the last of my strength to finish this paragraph just in case someone out there finds these writings…
Just in case someone manages to survive this… catastrophe…
Miss Bonnibel B. Hamilton.
May 21, of the year 3087
"The heck I just read?!" an angry Ice Prince screeched, ripping out the page of the antique diary. He tossed it onto the ground after having crumpled it into a ball of paper. "That's from a thousand years ago!"
"Y-you didn't like your reading, sir?" asked a turtle girl whose half body was encased in a thick ice layer.
Piles of books and snow-covered shelves were surrounding them, the Ice Prince had just wrecked havoc all over the library as he did every week or so since the last one hundred years. Nobody knew his reasons for carrying out that strange ritual, but it seemed that he wasn't going to stop until he had read every single book in the building, or at least until he finds whatever it is he's looking for.
"No, I didn't!" the blue-skinned wizard replied in a childish manner with his arms crossed. "Your books lack the knowledge I'm searching for! This is insulting! I've wasted so much of my time in this filthy place and still nothing! Nothing at all!"
He walked the narrow hallways, dragging his now long silver hair along the floor as well as the scattered books that were covering it, as his frozen stare pierced through the multiple shelves before him. "I am disappointed, Turtle Princess… I'm truly disappointed…"
Despite being partially frozen, the blonde turtle girl felt the sweat gathering on her forehead as she fought to keep a nervous smile on her face to please the icy prince and hopefully get out of that stressful situation alive, and with her vast book collection unharmed.
"Uh…hmm… M-maybe if you'd be so kind of telling me what are you looking for specifically, I might be able to help ya find it! Hehe…umm… Please don't freeze my books again…" she pleaded.
The Ice Prince raised an eyebrow, a furious glare enhancing his bothered features. "How come you or your ancestors never cared to tell me that before?! I've been coming here for almost two centuries now, globdamnit!"
Icy winds swirled around his menacing figure, making his torn blue cloak dance behind him along with his silver mane. Some books were forced open by these cold winds, causing their pages to flip themselves out of their covers and rain over the already wrecked library.
"Well, you never asked…" Turtle Princess sighed as she followed the thousand pages above her with her slanted eyes.
"Fine! I need spells, but not the clumsy and useless ones that you have stored in here!" the silver-haired man growled, "I need powerful ones! Be it good, dark or evil magic, I don't care!"
The turtle girl bit her lips as her brain tried to find the exact location of such books. An excited gasp left her lungs, letting the winter wizard know that she had found the required information. "P-perhaps in the 'Forsaken Section'…!"
The "Forsaken Section" was located beneath a hidden trapdoor on one of the library's hallways. Turtle Princess unlocked it for the prince and handed him an oil lantern so that he could find his way throughout the dusty darkness of its narrow passages. With the help of his frozen arm-sword, the Ice Prince cut through the gigantic spider webs that entangled the area, until he finally found the organized collection of forbidden archives. He then spent a good long nine hours browsing all the yellowish texts and withered scrolls that were left at his frosted reach.
When he finally came out of the secret opening on the floor, the Ice Prince was carrying a load of ten thick volumes of dark enchantments and spells with him.
"Jake, come here in this instant!" the prince called.
A small chubby penguin waddled from around a corner and greeted his master with a simple but firm "Wenk!"
"Take these books to the castle, I shall study them closer tonight!"
The penguin named Jake nodded, and with much difficulty received the heavy books on his flat flippers. The Ice Prince grinned in satisfaction and turned around, whipping his long cloak with his flesh arm. "Sign-out those books." He ordered coldly, not even caring to face Turtle Princess as he stormed out of the library.
Once outside, the young prince gave a serene stare to the heavenly black skies above him and sighed wishfully. "I'm almost there, my dear…" he closed his eyes and let the cold breeze mess his silver locks. "I know! I'll get you something nice!"
The icy wizard leaped into the air and charged towards an imposing city in the distance, using his long strands of hair to fly. As he got closer, it became easier for him to distinguish the pink-colored buildings and the sitting gumball machine giants that guarded that magnificent kingdom from any harm.
Hehehe! There's only one place where the gummy roses grow…
In the Candy Kingdom everyone knows, that's where I shall go!
Sang the Ice Prince with a merry tone.
x+x+x+x+x
That same night, the ruler of the Candy Kingdom, Princess B. Bubblegum was sharing some tea at her castle's courtyard with the soon-to-be-retired hero of the land, Billy.
The princess was a young woman whose entire body was made of pink bubblegum. She was wearing a long pink dress with short puffy sleeves and a golden tiara with a turquoise gem, gleaming on its top. The man sitting next to her at the charming tea table, was a green old giant with a thick white beard that reached his scar-full chest, and a flowing mane of the same color below his bald head.
The two of them happened to be completely focused on their hearty talk, so it was impossible that they might have noticed the swift goblin-like figure, running across the rooftops of the majestic candy palace as he made his way towards that same courtyard. The Ice Prince let himself fall from one of the towers and landed softly on his bare feet, feeling the royal garden's sweet lemon grass beneath them. He pressed his back against one of the cream-colored brick walls and sidled stealthy, peeking at Princess Bubblegum and her old hero as carefully as he could. A naughty fanged grin was drawn across the prince's bluish face, he knew he could complete his mission without being discovered and if fate happened to betray him, he'd simply use his sharp arm to clear his way out of the Candy Palace.
The icy wizard locked his sight on the rose bushes that surrounded the tea tables and flew quietly, passing above the pink princess and her guest. His small blue feet touched the fresh green grass softly after a successful landing. The Ice Prince was now right behind them, hiding his body within the blueberry-scented rose bushes that he wanted so badly. Without further delay, the former human boy began to cut the blue roses with his sword as he whispered in a joyful song…
Cutting a bouquet of roses blue, for the fairest maiden in the land of Ooo…!
Who shall be awakened with the bright full moon? My frozen lady, I shall see you soon!
He might have gotten a little excited with his song or with the fact that his plan was coming out quite nicely. Either way, he was making loud noises and before he even knew it, five banana guards were cornering him with their spears.
"Oh, c'mon! Not you again!" one of the guards scowled, "What have you stolen this time?!"
The Ice Prince, who was now hiding his hands behind his back, gave them a naïve grin. "A bouquet of roses blue, for the fairest maiden in the land of Ooo?" he replied, faking nervousness.
"And who would that be?" another banana man inquired.
"Nobody!" another guard shouted, "Just his imaginary girlfriend! Give those roses back, Ice Prince, or we'll have to use aggressive tactics on you!"
"Oh, heavens no! That's so unfair!" the blue wizard cried, exaggerating his melodramatic gestures. "Five against one…! I'm so scared right now!"
"R-really?" the banana guards gasped in astonishment.
"Hehehe… No!" the Ice Prince unleashed a powerful blizzard, which turned his enemies into ice statues with not effort at all.
"Ice Prince, you can't take those roses!" one of the frozen guards muttered, "They were planted in the memory of our Great Candy Queen, they mean a lot to Princess Bubblegum!"
"I'm not giving them back, they mean a lot to me too, ya know?! Besides, she has another whole bunch over there, she doesn't need 'em!"
"Ice Prince!" a female voice yelled, causing the silver-haired wizard to turn and face its source, Princess Bubblegum. "What are you doing in my castle again? Didn't I warn you that the Candy Kingdom is a restricted area for you?!"
"Who's this goblin, Princess?" the green old giant inquired sternly.
"He's the creep I mentioned earlier. He is always stealing the most valuable possessions of every princess without an apparent reason, and then he just throws them to only Glob-knows-where!" the sugary ruler answered as she glanced at the Ice Prince with indignation.
"Is that so…?" Billy whispered with a frown, "Well then, I'll have to teach ya a lesson!" the old man raised his hand and called his blade with a strong and firm voice. "Nothung…!"
"A lesson?!" the icy wizard snarled, "I'll teach you a lesson, Princess! You and those other annoying princesses don't deserve to have such nice stuff! My frozen princess should have them, she does deserve it!"
"There is no 'Frozen Princess' dude, you're insane!" the old hero grunted, rolling his eyes.
"H-how dare you?!" the Ice Prince hissed in anger, curling his hand into a fist and raising his frozen sword-hand. "How dare you claim that my princess doesn't exist?! I'll make you pay for that!"
With that, the enraged prince attacked the hero Billy mercilessly, while the last one struggled with all his might to avoid the freezing beams that came out of the Ice Prince's hand and the sharp edge of his frosted blade.
Princess Bubblegum noticed with fear that Billy wasn't going to stand a chance against the icy wizard's fury, and so she dared to snatch one of her banana guards' spears and enter the battlefield to aid her hero. Just when the Ice Prince had Billy at his mercy and was preparing his sword to cut his throat open, the pink princess tossed the spear at his head, knocking the golden crown off from its top.
"Dang, my crown! My powers!"
"That's it!" the old giant wasted no time on taking advantage of the situation and punched the prince's face with his mighty fist.
Billy immediately kicked the crown out of his reach and pushed him onto the ground with his heavy foot, crushing the blue roses in the process. The Ice Prince noticed this with despair and stopped his struggle to free his body from the hero's weight, as a sign of his defeat.
"Damn you, you annoying creatures…!" The prince cried in desperation, "Why can't I just take some miserable flowers with me, huh?! What's so wrong about wanting to give a girl a nice present?! Leave me alone, you bunch of donks! Leave me alone with my misery…"
Princess Bubblegum watched the scene, letting some remorse overcome her royal standards. She stared into the Ice Prince's tearful eyes and saw more than just an insane goblin-like wizard in them. She saw a lonely boy, fighting to hide his need for compassion with his pride. Bubblegum walked towards the rose bushes, and cut the most beautiful one that she could find with great care. She then knelt close to the weeping prince, offering him the blue flower.
"What's this?! Are you trying to fool me again?!"
"No, Ice Prince… I want you have it, please give it to your princess…" Princess Bubblegum smiled, "You may leave in peace, but only if you promise to do as I said."
The Ice Prince stared at her dumbfounded and then accepted the rose nervously. "Y-yeah… I will…" he gulped, "Thank you."
x+x+x+x+x
The Ice Prince flew across the night, holding the blue gummy rose tightly onto his chest. The white moon's glow was reflected in the distance on a crystalline surface, which lighted the green hills around it with its borrowed light. A faint smile graced the wizard's features after glimpsing the frozen lake's phantasmal gleam, causing him to speed up his flight a little.
His feet entered in contact with the cold surface without a single wince coming out of his fascinated lips. He was standing on his element after all… The Ice Prince stretched his only hand in an authoritative manner and commanded the ice to open itself, letting him dive into the depths of the lonely lake. The silver-haired lad swam into the freezing water with ease. The lack of air wasn't a nuisance for him; he could easily conjure a mask of ice around his mouth and nose before diving into the coldness, keeping some air from the outside sealed within it.
It took him some time to reach the bottom, but that didn't matter for him. He had reached her once again. Lying silently in peaceful slumber, rested a fourteen-year-old girl with silky red hair and worn out clothes. Her body had been placed in a case of thin transparent ice, crafted with effort and dedication by the same hands that were now resting upon it.
The Ice Prince smiled softly and showed her the blue rose. "Look, I brought you another flower!" he said, "And this one is made of candy, it shouldn't wither like the others I've brought you before…"
He placed the flower on top of her crystal case and sighed, "I know you've been here all alone for centuries since I can remember, but… I-I have good news!" his face glowed with joy, "I might have found a way to get you out of this frozen desolation… a way to birth you back into life…!"
The Ice Prince laid his hand over hers, the white bear cap was still being held between them, close to her heart. "Soon we won't have to be alone anymore… We'll have each other, and things will become better for us… We won't have to stay here with these annoying people anymore. I'll take you to other distant lands, I'll share the wonders of the ice with you and… I'll write you more songs…"
He felt a sudden urge to cry and leaned over the coldness of her case, shedding his grieving tears on it. The wizard wished that he could somehow receive some comfort from her so close but still distant arms.
"And this time…" the Ice Prince sobbed, "You'll be able to listen to them…"
Who warms my frozen heart when it feels blue?
My beautiful maiden, she's a dream come true…
Though, I ignore why I'm so in love with you,
I don't care, it feels good to be by your side,
The fairest princess in the land of Ooo…
Update: Grammar checked and corrected.