What Are The Chances?

by LoveStoryFanatic

AU. Dean and Sam Winchester are on their own. Sam is dating a guy named Gabriel who just so happens to work with Dean at the Roadhouse Bar & Grille. What are the chances that Gabriel has a brother? A younger brother who may just be into Dean. John is homophobic to the extreme and yet both of his sons are gay. The real kicker? He doesn't know. What happens when he pays them a visit?

9. Soul Mates

A/N: Do not own SPN. Sadly enough, right? I mean, how cool would that be? Anyways...

Sooo sorry for the delay in updating this chapter. This is quite a long chapter and it took a while to plan and write out. I know pretty much exactly what will be happening for the next couple of chapters at least, so I'm hoping they will be up sooner rather than later. Keep in mind, I also have other stories to write for as well, so...please be patient with me. I am very, very sorry. I hope you like this chapter!

Oh, and be prepared...This chapter contains A LOT of information and background into everything. 2 characters will be introduced in this chapter as well as...some information that will make everything make sense!

There are A LOT of feels in the last third of the story, so...you better hold onto your seat and possibly break out the tissues. Good luck!

Chapter 9

When Cas finally found Dean, he was just finishing up a call with Sam. Dean had already found Ellen and had informed her that Jo was awake.

Dean was sitting on a bench outside where no one else was around. As Cas walked up, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and looked up as Cas sat down next to him.

"It is beautiful out here."

Dean looked around at the little garden and walk areas the hospital had set up for recovering patients so they could get some fresh air. "Yeah, it is. I found this place the last time I was here when Sam had gotten into a bar fight and was admitted for a couple of days."

Cas nodded as he entwined his fingers in Dean's. "You know, it is not your fault, Dean."

Dean sighed inwardly, knowing this was coming. "I should have been paying more attention. I had a bad feeling about him from the moment he walked in."

"You stopped him from kidnapping her. Isn't that worth something?"

Cas's response was met by silence. Dean couldn't come up with anything to beat that because it was worth something. He'd stopped the bastard from shoving her in his trunk and taking off, but she'd still gotten hurt.

"Dean, you can't protect everyone from harm all the time. That's not your responsibility. Sometimes things happen for a reason."

Dean snorted, "You really believe that? That things happen for a reason?"

"Yes, I do. When we were children, we met through our dreams. There was a reason behind that, if you remember correctly. And again later in our adult lives when things got bad. You see, there are times when things happen for a reason."

Dean turned and looked directly into Cas's eyes. His wall of self-hatred was starting to crumble, but it wasn't quite there yet. It still needed a hard shove.

"And what was the reason behind Jo almost dying and getting kidnapped?"

Cas took a moment to get his words in order. He knew how close to breaking Dean was and he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"I do not know, Dean. Maybe it was to give you a lesson. Make you see that even though bad things happen, good things can come out of them. Jo is still alive, and she's awake now. She's going to be okay. Or maybe it was to teach you to stop beating yourself up for things that are out of your control. You do that a lot as I have heard. Maybe it was to teach Jo to be more careful, or for the guy who attacked her to get his life straightened out. There could be many different reasons why it happened. There is no way to know for sure, but I do know that it is not your fault. Jo knows that as well. As does everyone else who knows about what happened. You saved her life, Dean. You should concentrate on that aspect of it. Look on the bright side, as Gabriel would say."

Dean chuckled softly, looking away from Cas and thinking over everything his blue-eyed angel had just said.

Cas had been the shove his wall needed to crumble. A small part of him would still blame himself, but that was just who he was. There was no changing that part of him in one conversation and Cas accepted that.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Dean looked back at Cas and smiled softly. "Okay."

A smile stretched on Cas's face and he leaned over and pressed his lips softly to Dean's. He pulled back and looked at his boyfriend. "Okay."

SPN

Tuesday night found Dean and Cas back at Dean's apartment. Jo had just been released from the hospital, so they had gone home. Sam had been staying over at Gabe's since their brothers weren't around much. They had both spent most of their downtime at the hospital. If they weren't at work or running home to take a quick shower and change, they were with Jo.

Dean plopped down on the couch and picked up a pile of mail that had accumulated on the table since he'd been gone. He sorted through the bills and junk mail as Cas made himself comfortable next to him. Once the piles were sorted, Dean leaned back and put his arm on the back of the couch behind Cas's head.

"So, Cas, what do you wanna do? I'm up for just about anything that doesn't involve leaving."

Cas smiled as he looked around the apartment. He spotted something and his smile grew. "Anything?"

Dean became a bit suspicious, but took the bait. "Yeah…What are you thinking?"

Cas turned his full attention on Dean and gave him the best puppy dog eyes he could. "Would you sing me another song, Dean?"

Dean tried to resist the puppy dog eyes, but that only lasted about ten seconds before he gave in and stood up to grab his guitar.

"That's, like, an evil power or something. That look is powerful."

Cas chuckled as Dean sat back down with the guitar case and took it carefully out of the case, put the strap over his head and strummed a couple of test chords to make sure it was still in tune.

"Okay. What do you wanna hear?"

"You decide. Something you or your mom wrote. They're beautiful songs."

Dean blushed slightly at the compliment and tried to think of a song one of them had written that he hadn't sung for Cas. It only took a moment before he came up with a good one to sing.

"I wrote this yesterday while you were in class. Jo had fallen asleep, Ellen had gone back to the Roadhouse, so I just pulled out my guitar and started to write. I was planning on working on it a bit more before letting you hear it though."

Cas's eyes lit up as he got excited to hear the song. The look on his boyfriend's face made Dean's heart melt and he poured himself into the song.

I'm going home
Downhearted and hoping
I'm close to some new beginning
I know
There's a reason for everything
That comes and goes

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Most days
I try my best to put on a brave face
But inside
My bones are cold and my heart breaks
But all the while
Something is keeping me safe
And alive

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

I wont give up like this
I will be given strength
And now that I've found it
Nothing can take that away

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing

But so many people are looking to me
To be strong and to fight
But I'm just surviving
I may be weak but I'm never defeated
And I'll keep believing
In clouds with that sweet silver lining

Before Cas could say anything, Dean set down the guitar and looked Cas in the eyes. "You told me there's a reason for everything. It took me some time to sort through it, but…I get it. I get that I shouldn't blame myself for what happened. That doesn't mean I'm just going to let it go, but…I understand. And…I'll work on it."

Cas smiled at his boyfriend proudly. He placed a hand on Dean's and looked into his eyes, making sure not to break eye contact so Dean understood how serious he was.

"That's all that matters, Dean. As long as you understand. You have a lot of people who love you, Dean. Many people care deeply for you and would do just about anything for you. You are very lucky to have so many people like that in your life. I am very lucky to be one of those people."

A smile slowly spread across Dean's face and his eyes lit up. "I'm not the only one who has a lot of people who care about them, Cas. You do too, you just don't realize it. Hell, even Bobby is on your side. And don't forget about me."

"Who could ever forget about you, Dean?"

The smile on Dean's face got wider as he leaned closer to Cas. "No one in their right mind, that's who."

Cas rolled his eyes before Dean's lips pressed against his. The kiss started out long and slow until things started to heat up.

Dean gently pushed Cas backwards on the couch until he was laying on top of him, never parting lips. Hands started to roam and the kisses got a little sloppier. Dean moved his mouth and started trailing hot kisses down the side of Cas's neck, making little noises escape from Cas's throat. He was just getting started when a knock came from the door, breaking the two men from the spell they had worked over each other.

Dean looked towards the door confused. "Who in the hell would be knocking? Everyone I know would just walk in."

"Well, it is a good thing whomever it is knocked. Otherwise, we may have been faced in an awkward situation."

Dean glanced down at their crotches. They had been rubbing together and had gotten quite hard in the process. "Yeah, I see your point."

He placed a quick peck on Cas's lips before standing up, righting his shirt, and walking over to answer the door as Cas sat up and fixed his own shirt. He opened the door and found a tall woman with dark hair wearing a tank top and jeans standing with a shorter woman who looked like she could be somebody's mother. A very stern, but caring mother.

"Can I help you?"

The shorter woman smiled at him and was the one to respond, "Yes, Dean, you could let us in. We need to talk."

Dean's eyebrows scrunched together. "Um…who are you? How do you know my name?"

"I'm not surprised you don't remember me. We met when you were a child and your momma brought you to see me. My name is Missouri and this is my friend Pamela. Is your friend Castiel here as well? This pertains to him also."

Before Dean could say anything, Cas was behind him. "How do you know who I am? We have never met before."

"No, son, we haven't met personally, but I've heard a lot about you. And I believe you met my friend here."

Pamela smiled at Cas. "Your father brought you to see me when you were little. It'd probably be better to discuss all of this in private instead of in the middle of the hallway where anyone could hear?"

Cas looked up at Dean and nodded slightly, telling him that he thought Dean should let them in and hear what they had to say.

Dean stepped back and opened the door wider. Once the two women had walked through the door, he shut the door behind them.

"Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?"

They both declined and sat in the chairs by the couch rather than next to each other. Dean found it odd, but didn't complain since that meant he could sit next to Cas. As everyone got comfortable, Dean couldn't handle it anymore.

"Okay, so what is it we need to discuss?"

Missouri narrowed her eyes at him. "Watch your tone with me, boy. We could just as easily get up and leave you boys in the dark to figure out why you two met in your dreams when you were little."

Dean and Cas's eyes widened simultaneously. Dean looked at Cas, confused. "I haven't told anyone about that."

Cas nodded, "Neither have I. I haven't even told Gabriel."

Pamela leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together. "Actually, when the two of you were children and first started having the dreams you told one of your parents. Cas, after your mom died, you started having the dreams in order to cope with her loss. You told your father and he got worried so he brought you to me. He only brought you once though and I never heard from him again. I kept tabs on the two of you and found out that shortly after that visit, he started to drink heavily."

Cas thought back to all those years ago when he'd first had the dreams. He couldn't exactly remember the face, but he remembered his father taking him somewhere.

Missouri looked at Dean. "And you. Your momma brought you to me after she'd convinced your daddy to go to rehab. You'd said something about a little boy from your dreams and it made her curious. After you two left my house that day, I called Pamela and confirmed my suspicions. We agreed to keep it to ourselves until the two of you met. We knew you would, it was only a matter of time. Fate is funny that way, I suppose. We've been keeping tabs on the two of you, waiting for the right moment. Once we'd found out the two of you had finally met, we got things settled back home and came to see you boys in person."

Dean tried to wrap his mind around everything. It was all happening so fast and there was a lot of information to process. "So, you two are from our hometowns and you're…what? Dream readers?"

Missouri rolled her eyes, "Don't be stupid, boy. There's no such thing as a dream reader. We're psychics."

Dean snorted, "Yeah, and we're supposed to believe that you two read our minds or something when we were kids and came up with this reason why we met in our dreams?"

Missouri narrowed her eyes, "I said watch your tone, boy. We didn't read your minds, ya idiot. We were both taught legends about things like this happening. About being able to connect to someone in your dreams, but we always thought it was a myth. Now, do you wanna know why you can help each other in your dreams? Or how about being able to feel intense emotions the other person is feeling and knowing you need to be there? That something is wrong?"

Cas turned to Dean. "Dean, that's what happened the other day. We need to hear them out. We need to find out why."

Dean stared into Cas's eyes for a few moments, thinking it over. A part of him was skeptical about the pair of them, not sure if he should trust what they say, but another part of him was telling him that they knew the truth.

He nodded, "Okay. Let's hear it."

Pamela looked at Missouri. "I suggest you start from the beginning. It may make more sense."

Missouri nodded before collecting her thoughts and starting in on the explanation.

"Do you boys believe in Angels?" Dean and Cas looked at each other, confused.

"Angels?"

She nodded, "Yes, angels. The warriors of God. Believe it or not, they're real. Now, I'm going to tell you a story and I'm going to expect you two not to interrupt until I'm done, you hear?"

Dean and Cas both nodded, anxious to hear her story.

"Okay. It started thousands of years ago when God first created the angels. There were many, many angels, but there was one garrison that didn't quite work together too well. There was Michael, the leader; Lucifer, the rebellious one; Anna, the quiet, but brave one; Balthazar, the sarcastic one; Gabriel, the prankster; and Castiel, the loyal one."

Cas's eyes widened and he wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue to keep from interrupting her. He had a feeling that stopping her in the middle of her story would not end well.

"They worked together for thousands of years doing whatever God asked of them. They knew the script He'd written and how everything was to be played out, but one day the angel Castiel started to question it. He started to ask his brother Gabriel questions, wondering why God did some of the things he did. He wanted to know why the humans inhabiting Earth couldn't have free will. He wanted to know why the angels couldn't have free will. One day he asked God himself about it. He wanted the answers to his questions. God told him that he was setting everything up for his departure, that he wanted the humans he'd created to be safe. He was going to be leaving Heaven, but wouldn't tell him where he was going. God looked at Castiel and told him that He had another plan for him. He was to Fall to Earth and be reborn into a family. God knew that Castiel wanted free will, and that was his way of giving it to him because he knew that one day the script would be broken and everyone would have the free will they deserved, even the angels. God had told Gabriel to Fall a few Earth years before Castiel came to him, but Heaven isn't measured in time, so Castiel hadn't noticed."

Cas started to piece things together as flashes of memories started to whip through his mind. He was starting to remember things he didn't think were possible. There had been a war in Heaven and it had caused the angel to question the script. Cas remembered now.

"So the angel Castiel Fell to Earth and was reborn into a family. His memories were suppressed, but not erased. God left the angel with a small amount of his grace intact, knowing that he would need it one day. And then one day he did need it. One day his human mother died, leaving him with the second youngest brother and a father on the edge of breaking. The fallen angel's grace activated and connected with the strongest soul it could find. It connected with a boy who, even though he was dealing with a drunken father and had to protect his little brother, his soul was still strong, the strongest the angel had ever seen. Their souls connected and intertwined with each other, creating a bond. When both of the boys entered their dreams, where the soul is most vulnerable, they were able to appear to each other, help each other. The bond was created to help both souls when in life threatening situations. That's how both boys were able to survive their drunken fathers' abuse. How both boys survived abusive boyfriends and near fatal car accidents. And then one day they met in person and have been inseparable ever since."

Dean was frozen. He had no idea what to think. The story added up. Well, the ending did, but…angels? God? Falling to Earth and being reborn into a family?

He looked over at Cas expecting to see the same confusion written on his face, but found realization and understanding. That only added to his confusion.

"Cas?"

Cas turned to Dean, excitement and understanding in his eyes. "Dean, what she said is true. I remember it now. I remember the garrison, the script, even God. There was a war in Heaven. The angels were fighting each other. That's why I began to question the script. I couldn't help but wonder why our Father would want a war in Heaven. Why he would make us fight our brothers and sisters. Everything she said…I remember it. Dean, that's why we connected. That's how we could help each other before we even met. I'm…an angel of the Lord."

Dean couldn't think of anything to say. That was way too much information, not to mention he hadn't even believed in God or angels before. His mother had always told him that angels were watching over him when she tucked him in, but he'd always thought that was just something mothers said to their kids.

He looked at Missouri and Pamela with a question in his eyes. They both nodded, understanding his confusion.

He looked back at Cas, still seeing the excitement in his eyes. Cas knew who he was now. He'd always felt like something was missing or that he should know something he didn't, but he could never grasp it. Now he did. He knew what he was, who he was, why he could connect with Dean and it thrilled him. He finally understood.

"So…you're an angel. An angel who was sent to Earth to be reborn into a family. Your mom died and your grace activated. It connected with me when I was protecting Sammy. And that's how we were able to see each other in our dreams."

Cas nodded, waiting patiently for everything to sink in for Dean, knowing it was a lot of information to take in at one time.

"Wow." Dean turned away, not looking at anyone. He was still working on processing everything, which was giving him a headache.

For several long moments, the room was silent. They didn't want to rush Dean through it, so they took their time. It was a lot to handle all at once.

Finally, he looked up at Missouri. "Why now though? I mean, Cas and I met a week ago. Why wait that long to come and tell us this?"

"We also have a warning. Have you heard of an angel called-?"

The front door opened, cutting Missouri off mid-sentence. They all turned to see who it was, worried it'd be Sam walking into a conversation he knew nothing about.

"Gabriel? What are you doing here?"

Gabe smiled. "Ah, little brother. I could ask the same thing, but I'm pretty sure I already know."

He winked at Cas before turning to Missouri and Pamela. "I see you gals don't waste any time. I was hoping to be there for the big unleashing."

Cas's brow furrowed. "Wait, you knew?"

Dean looked between the two brothers, but stayed silent, waiting to see what would happen.

"Of course I knew. Daddy made sure I kept all my memories. I've known all along."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Gabe smiled as he pulled a kit kat from somewhere, tearing open the wrapper. "What? And ruin the surprise?"

"Gabriel."

Gabe held his hands up innocently. "Fine, fine. Don't get your panties in a bunch, Cassie. There was no point in you knowing about someone you'd never actually met before or about any of it, really. It wasn't relevant at the time. It would have distracted you from what you were supposed to do. Anyways, good ole Daddy didn't want you to know right away for a reason, so I left it that way."

"Did you know it was Dean?"

Gabe threw Dean a quick smile before finishing off his candy bar. "All I knew was it was a dude with green eyes. But you're the one who told me that."

Cas's brow furrowed even more. He wracked his brain for when he possibly could have mentioned it to Gabe, but couldn't remember ever telling anyone.

"Don't hurt yourself trying to remember when you told me. You didn't actually tell me. Well, not in so many words. When we were kids and you locked yourself away in your room, you were busy drawing, remember? When you finally let me in there, I found several pictures of a blue-eyed angel helping a green-eyed man. And the angel had the exact same shade of blue as you do, so I knew. When I met Dean-o here the first time, I suspected that it was him. His eyes are the exact same shade of green as the ones in all of those drawings. Same as the ones you did a couple of years ago or whenever that was."

"When I had my accident."

Everything was starting to click into place, finally. The dreams, the paintings, everything. It made sense. Well, as much as it could when it had to do with angels and God.

"Exactly! Sam told me about that, by the way. It's a good thing you and Cassie here connected otherwise you'd probably be dead."

Dean turned back to Cas and looked thoughtfully into his eyes. "I know."

Missouri rose suddenly. "Well, we best be off and let you boys get everything worked out. We'll be in touch shortly."

Cas tilted his head to the side in confusion. "You mentioned a warning."

"I did? Oh, well, it doesn't matter right now. You boys get things sorted out. We'll be in touch."

Pamela stood and followed Missouri to the door. They let themselves out and shut the door behind them as Gabe plopped down into the chair Pamela had previously been sitting in.

"Well, now that you have your memories back, Cassie, no more secrets!"

Dean looked down at his hands. "Well, not quite."

The two looked at Dean and waited for him to explain. He looked up at Gabriel with a serious expression on his face. "Sam still doesn't know."

For the first time since Dean met him, Gabe was speechless. It was obvious he cared a lot for Sam and didn't want to hurt him or keep anything from him, so Dean pushed on.

"We need to tell him. It's not right that he doesn't know. And just so you know, I don't give a rat's ass what you think, I'm telling him whether you think it's a good idea or not."

Cas reached out and grabbed Dean's hand, catching his attention. "I agree with Dean. Sam needs to know."

Gabe looked between the two men, thinking about what the repercussions of telling his boyfriend he hasn't exactly been truthful with him this entire time would be.

"Okay, but I am not taking the fall for this. I don't want to lose my Samsquatch just because you slow pokes hadn't joined the big boys yet. So. When do we tell him?"

"As soon as he gets home."

SPN

The three men wasted the time waiting for Sam to get home from wherever it was he'd gone doing pretty much nothing. They drank some beers and watched a movie they found on the tv. Cas had cuddled up to Dean, knowing full well that as soon as Sam got home, it was game on. He wanted to get as much relaxing and calm time in with Dean as he could before things went south. He had a bad feeling about what would happen when they told him everything.

Sam walked through the door and found Dean and Cas cuddling on the couch with half gone beers and Gabriel plowing through his usual pile of sweets while staring at the tv screen. None of them had even heard the door open. They were all in their own world.

He set his keys down on the counter quietly, grabbed a beer from the kitchen, and walked up behind Gabriel. He leaned down and planted a kiss on the side of his neck, causing him to jump and let loose a shriek no one had been expecting.

The sudden noise caused Dean and Cas to jump as well. Dean almost dropped his beer as everyone was brought out of their heads and into the real world.

They turned and looked at Sam who was sporting a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat. "Man, you guys are jumpy tonight. You jumped like Dean did when I caught him watching cartoon smut one day."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "It's not cartoon smut, Sam. It's called anime and it's an art form."

Sam rolled his eyes, but his smile widened to the point where it looked like he had slept with a clothes hanger in his mouth. "Whatever you say, Dean. So, what's up?"

"Have a seat, Samsquatch. This family meeting is hereby in session."

"Family meeting? Who died?"

Dean rolled his eyes, but waited until Sam sat down in the open chair before he started.

"Sammy…there's something we…I need to tell you. It's going to be really confusing and there's a lot to it, so just bear with me, okay?"

Sam looked hesitantly between the three men who all wore identical expressions of seriousness on their faces. Well, besides when Gabe would shove another candy bar into his mouth.

"Okay…No one's dying though, right?"

"No one's dying. I'm going to start at the beginning. Don't interrupt me or no free beer for you for a month."

Sam sat up straighter, leaning forward on his knees so he could concentrate better on what Dean was about to tell him. When Dean could tell he'd gotten Sam's full attention, he began his story.

"Old friends of the family stopped by while you were gone today. We didn't know, or remember, about this until then. Once we found out, we didn't want to keep anything from you so we were waiting for you to get home. I'm going to tell you what they told me and Cas before Gabe got here. This all started back when…God…created the angels. And yes, this is all true. Angels are real. And, as much as I had my doubts, so is God. There was a group of them, a team. Michael, Lucifer, Anna, Balthazar, Gabriel, and Castiel. A thousand or two years later a war started in Heaven, pitting angels against each other. The angel Castiel started to question the script. You know, fate. How everything is already planned out ahead of time and we're all just a bunch of puppets along for the ride."

Cas squeezed Dean's hand to get him back on track. Dean took a breath before continuing.

"He asked God why there wasn't any free will, along with some other questions like why there was a war going on. He wanted to know the answers. God told him that he was leaving and setting things up so that the humans…us…would be safe when he left. He said he had a plan for Castiel and told him to fall to Earth where he would be reborn into a family. He already had the angel Gabriel fall and be reborn. So Cas..tiel fell and was reborn. His memories were suppressed, but still there. God left him with a little bit of his grace so he could use it when he needed to. After his mom died, he activated it and…this is where it gets weird. His grace reached out and connected with another soul, the strongest one it could find. A bond was formed between them. After that, when either of them were in life threatening situations, their souls reached out to each other in their dreams, when it's most vulnerable. It created a way for the two people to survive what they normally might have died from. Like…abuse and car accidents for example. So, after both of them became adults, they met in person one day, not realizing who the other person was. And then…oh, and did I mention that the angel Castiel is actually Cas and that the angel Gabriel is actually Gabe? Or…that the other soul was mine?"

Sam's brow had furrowed somewhere through the story and his lips had parted in confusion. He sat there for a moment, taking it in.

"Wait, back up. Tell me more about this connection."

Dean wasn't sure what he was more surprised at: how quick it sunk in for him or how quickly he accepted it.

It was Cas's turn to explain. "When my mother died, I went into a period of mourning which activated my grace. It reached out and created a bond with the strongest soul it could find: Dean. Shortly after, we both began experiencing difficult living situations and our souls opened up to each other in our dreams since they are most vulnerable there. We were able to survive because of it. Once there was no longer a threat on either side, the dreams stopped. They didn't start up again until years later when Jason and I were together and then again when Dean was in the car accident. It was only due to the profound bond that we had created by that point that either of us survived the more dangerous situations in our adulthood. I was the one who helped him out of that coma, so it is a good thing you would not let them 'pull the plug'. Once we met, the bond strengthened further. When Dean was fighting the man who attacked Jo, I could feel the intense emotions he was feeling and knew that I needed to be there. That is why I was at the shop before anyone told me about it."

It only took a couple of moments for it to sink in and once it did, Sam turned to Dean, completely serious.

"You've been having these dreams since we were kids and you're just now telling me about this?!"

Dean's mouth fell open slightly. "Wait, so we tell you that we can pretty much keep each other alive through our dreams, that God and the angels are real, and…you get that out of it..?"

"Dean, why would you hide this from me? Could you not trust me?"

Dean looked between Sam and Cas, then back to Sam. "You really think I don't trust you? Of course I trust you! You're my little brother."

"Well, obviously you can't since you've been having these dreams and you never told me. You've been having them since we were kids! How could you, Dean? We're brothers!"

Sam stood and began pacing the floor. "And what about these 'difficult living conditions'? You and I both know we had it good growing up. Sure, Dad was a bit harsh growing up, but we had a good childhood! I just…I don't understand, Dean!

Dean stood as well and moved to stand in front of him, anger boiling inside of his chest.

"How would you have responded if I had told you? Hm? If I had said that my imaginary friend who visits me in my dreams saved my life when we were kids. And then again when we're adults. You would have shipped me off to the looney bin without hesitation."

Sam fired back, "No I wouldn't have, Dean! I would have listened to what you had to say because that's what brothers do."

"Oh, really? And then what? What would you have done?"

Sam hesitated with his answer, confirming Dean's suspicions. When he did speak, his voice started to rise as he continued to talk. "I don't know, Dean. Okay? I don't know! You didn't give me the chance to figure out what I would have done, because you didn't tell me. But why, Dean? Why didn't you tell me? I've been there for you through everything. I was there for you when you got rejected by that girl in the sixth grade. I was there for you when the kids in high school picked on you for being gay. I was there for you during your first bad breakup, through everything with Henrickson. I was the one who wouldn't let them take you off life support when you were in that coma. So why the hell couldn't you trust me with this?!"

"Because!"

"Because, why? That's not good enough and you know that."

"Because you don't need to know why I had to be strong! Why my soul was strong enough to connect with his! You don't need to know why…"

He swallowed around the knot that suddenly formed in his throat. The anger in his chest began to disappear as his mind rushed back to all those years ago when he needed to be strong for his little brother.

His voice broke as he continued his sentence. "…why I had to be strong for you."

Sam's brow furrowed even farther than it had. "Why would you have to be strong for me?"

Dean lowered his head and closed his eyes. After a moment, Sam said his name softly, causing him to look up into his little brother's now worried eyes.

"Dean, what happened when we were kids?"

"Wait, he doesn't know?" Sam looked at Gabe, confused.

"So, apparently everyone knows what happened when we were kids, but I don't?"

Gabe frowned, but looked at Dean. "You never told him?"

Dean looked at Gabe, not looking at Cas because he knew if he met his eyes, he'd lose it right there.

"He didn't need to know. I took care of it and he was just a kid."

Cas stood up and took a step towards Dean, but not all the way. He knew what state of mind Dean was in and didn't want to tip him the wrong way. "But so were you, Dean. You were just a kid too."

"Maybe, but I was older and could handle it. I didn't want him to have to deal with it."

Sam placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, causing him to turn and face him. Dean tried to hide the emotions he knew must be all over his face, but it was too late. Sam had seen them.

"Dean, tell me what happened."

Dean took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. When he opened them, he began.

"Sammy, do you remember when Dad went away for a while?"

Sam looked between Gabe and Dean for a moment before focusing on his brother again. "Yeah, I guess. He went on a business trip."

"He didn't go on a business trip, Sam. He was gone for six months."

Sam took his hand back from where it had still been on Dean's shoulder. He was getting a really bad feeling about where this was going.

"Then where did he go?"

"Mom made him go to rehab. Remember Uncle Jim?"

"All I remember was that he died."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, he found out he had cancer, but didn't tell anyone. He and Dad were really close and then one day he died, out of nowhere. No one had been expecting it. It hit Dad hard and he began drinking, heavily. He became an alcoholic, Sammy."

"Okay, so what does that have to do with anything?"

"Mom's company started sending her on a lot of business trips. She was the only one qualified, so she had to go. Dad started to drink a lot, and somehow managed to hide it from her. He'd only drink heavily when she wasn't home. One night, he was going through one of the photo albums and was looking at pictures of Uncle Jim. He'd been drinking a lot that night. I was in my room, finishing up some homework when I heard him stumbling up the stairs. You were in your room, playing with some toys. You were only four."

There was a knot in Sam's stomach and it kept tightening as Dean kept going. His voice was getting thicker with emotion as he remembered every detail of the memory he'd been trying to forget for years. His eyes were distant as if he was reliving the memory in his mind, he probably was. Sam was starting to regret demanding to know what had happened. He could see the pain he was putting Dean through and he didn't like it. He wanted Dean to stop, but he knew it needed to come out. Dean needed to talk about it for his own sake.

He'd never told anyone the entire story of what had happened. He hadn't even told his mom. No one knew everything that had gone down between him and their father, and it was time for it to come to light.

"I remember hearing him throwing your door open. Instantly I knew that something bad was going to happen. He started yelling at you because you'd made a mess. You'd thrown your toys across the room, but you were only four, only a kid. You didn't know any better. I got up and ran down the hall towards your room. When I got there, he had a beer in one hand and his voice was getting louder. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops, I know they heard him. He didn't hear me come in, didn't know I was standing in the doorway watching. You were standing in front of him, crying. He'd never yelled at you like that before. That was the first time I'd seen him like that."

Dean took a breath, still lost in the memory that had given him nightmares for years. The three men stood transfixed by the story, none of them had known how bad it was or how badly it had affected Dean until now.

"Then he raised his hand. He was going to hit you. There was no way I was going to let that happen. I ran forward as fast as I could and stood in front of you, knocking you to the ground by accident. His hand came down and hit me across the cheek. He'd been too drunk to realize I'd gotten in between you two until it was too late. When he realized he'd hit me instead of you, he got even angrier. He started yelling at me, telling me to stay out of it, it was none of my business. I turned around and pushed you around Dad, telling you to go to my room and wait for me there. I knew what was about to happen and I wasn't going to let you see that. He raised his hand again and hit me even harder. I don't know how many times he hit me that night…but he finally got tired of it. When he went to bed, I got up and went to find you. You'd curled up onto my bed and fallen asleep crying. I let you sleep with me in my bed that night. I didn't want you out of my sight. I couldn't let you out of my sight."

His voice broke when he said the last sentence. A tear slipped past his control and rolled down his cheek. He didn't even notice it, he was still caught up in the memory.

He paused for a minute, making them think he was done, but then he started to speak again.

"That wasn't the last night. For the rest of the week, he'd go to your room, but I made sure I was there before he got there. I wasn't going to let him lay a hand on you. It happened every night. Every night that Mom was gone. After that first week, he got the hint that I wasn't going to let anything happen to you, so he started coming directly to my room. Sometimes he'd call me downstairs for a change of scenery. One night he actually laughed. I'll never forget that night. I was laying on the floor of the living room, trying to get up, but I couldn't. He just started laughing at me. He said I'd never amount to anything being as weak as I was."

Sam finally found his voice. He'd been unable to say anything, the knot in his stomach too tight.

"Dean, why didn't you fight back? Or tell someone? Tell Mom?"

Dean looked at him, emotion clearly showing on his face. "It was Dad, Sam. He was our father, the man who'd raised us. I was just a kid who'd looked up to him for years. I don't know why I didn't tell anyone, I just couldn't. And I did fight back one night. It was the first night that the dreams happened. They started a week and a half after the beatings started. He'd given me hope, so I'd started to fight back, but it only made it worse. After that, he made the beatings stronger and they lasted longer. Sometimes he'd use something other than his hand. One time it was a bat, threw me into the table one night, he used different things the longer he did it. He got more creative, I guess you could say. He started leaving afterwards, telling me I was in charge of the house when I could barely get up off the floor. I'd make you promise to stay in your room every night until I came and got you. Thankfully, you'd listen to me."

Sam felt sick to his stomach. It went beyond the knot that had been forming. He felt like he was literally going to be sick. Just imagining his big brother being tossed around by their father made him angrier than he'd ever been and sick with disgust as well. He couldn't believe that their father, the man who'd raised them, was capable of beating one of his own sons.

"How'd it stop?"

Dean took a shaky breath as he recalled the last memory. "We were up in my room that night. He said…he wanted to try something new. He…"

Dean looked away from Sam, towards the wall. He didn't want to say it out loud, but knew that he had to. No one knew this part. Not his mom, not the police, not anyone. He'd never told a soul about this part. Not even Cas.

"He…made me do stuff." His voice started to shake as he forced himself to keep going.

"He beat me and then…he started to take my clothes off. I didn't know what was going on. He'd never done that before. I knew better than to fight back, after what had happened the first time. He…did stuff to me. After he was done, he told me to get dressed. I did and he started to beat me again. I heard the front door open, but it was faint, so I knew Dad hadn't heard it. Mom called out for him to see if he was awake, but he didn't hear that either. All he heard was the sound of his fist slamming into me. I kicked out my foot, hoping to connect with something, make a loud noise for Mom to investigate. I ended up kicking over my nightstand and sent it crashing to the floor. He got so angry. He started hitting me harder and harder. He hit me on the back of the head and I think I blacked out. The next thing I knew Mom pushed him away from me, sending him crashing into the wall. I couldn't move, I hurt too bad. He'd been caught off guard, so he turned to hit her too, but stopped when he saw who it was. His eyes widened and he froze. She started yelling at him, but he didn't move a muscle. She pulled out her cell phone and called the cops.

She said, 'If you lay another finger on my son, I'll kill you myself.' He started begging her, saying he hadn't meant to, it'd been an accident. She wouldn't have it. She knew better than that. She knew when he was lying. She yelled for you. You came running, knowing that if Mom was there, everything was okay. When you came into my room, I was still lying on the floor, hardly moving. Everything hurt. Mom was standing in between me and Dad, so you ran over to me and sat down next to me. I had enough strength to wrap my arms around you, to protect you just in case he got through Mom. I wasn't taking any chances. I held you to me as tightly as I could. I told you not to move, that everything would be okay. I heard the sirens getting closer and knew that we'd be okay soon. Mom was still yelling at him, telling him how bad he screwed up, that we were no longer his children. She'd said he lost the right to be our father when he laid a finger on me. She kept asking over and over if he'd touched you, but I'd had enough strength to say he hadn't, that I hadn't let him. The cops burst through the front door and headed upstairs. By that time, my vision was starting to blur. I remember you telling me to wake up, that we had guests. Mom turned around and panicked when she saw my eyes had closed. I was still semi-conscious so I heard her calling my name, but I couldn't move. I wanted to reach out and reassure her that I was fine, but I couldn't do anything. You started crying when Mom panicked. That's the last thing I heard. When I woke up, I was in the hospital a couple of days later. Mom was there, you were with Bobby. She told me what had happened after I passed out. They arrested Dad and he was sitting in jail."

Dean walked over to the couch and sat down, putting his head into his hands. Reliving those memories had exhausted him. They'd drained him physically and emotionally.

Cas sat down next to him, putting his hand on Dean's leg. They were all watching Dean carefully, not sure what to expect.

"What happened next, Dean?"

He lowered his hands, but kept his head down, not meeting anyone's eye. "After I got out of the hospital, some cops came to the house to talk to me. They'd given us space at the hospital. I guess to give me time to recover from everything. I told them the basics about the first night, nothing in detail though. I didn't want to relive it. I told them how often he would drink and hit me. They said with my testimony that he would go away for a long time, but…he was my dad. After they left, Mom asked me if I wanted to testify. She told me what I would have to go through if I did, and I didn't want to. I'd have to get up in front of a court room and tell everyone what had happened. There was no way I was going to be able to do that, I knew that. She said that there was another option, but only if I was comfortable with it. She wouldn't press charges if went to rehab, getting him away from the drinking. He only hit me when he was drinking, so we knew that was the problem. She said she wouldn't let him back in the house until he'd proven himself to both of us, not just her. She wouldn't let him come back until I was ready for him to. She wasn't going to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I agreed with it. I didn't care what happened to me, as long as you were safe. I told her that and she promised me that nothing would happen to you.

The next day, she went to the police station and told them she wouldn't press charges as long as she got full custody of us, which she did, and if he agreed to go to rehab for his alcoholism. She told them about our conversation and that she wasn't going to let him anywhere near her children until we were both comfortable with it. Dad agreed to it and the charges were dropped. Five months later he got out of rehab and got an apartment across town. It took another month before either of us were comfortable enough to let him near us. After that, it took a few months, but we let him back into the house. Mom wouldn't leave him alone with either of us for a long time. She had told her boss what had happened and that she couldn't go on any more business trips. They'd understood and started sending someone else. He stayed away from the alcohol and slowly earned his right to be our father again. I'll never forgive him, but I know he'll never lay a hand on either one of us again. And if he does, I'll take him down this time."

He finally looked up and his eyes locked on Sam's. There were tears in his little brother's eyes. Sam had seen the pain Dean was in, he could practically feel it himself. He'd gone through all of that just to protect him from their father. How could he not have known all of this?

"I'm so sorry, Dean. You've done more for me than I ever would have thought. You…went through hell because of Dad and you did it so I wouldn't get hurt."

Dean nodded, "Because I'm your big brother, Sammy. My job is to make sure you don't get hurt. And when you do, it's my job to unleash a can of whoopass on whoever does hurt you. It's always been my job and it always will be as long as I'm alive. And when I'm dead, I'll come back and haunt whoever messes with you."

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean's attempt to lighten the mood. He always was good for comic relief.

"So, because you were protecting me from Dad, your soul was strong enough to connect with Cas's when his grace activated?"

Cas nodded as he wrapped his arm around Dean's waist, giving him some of his energy and attempting to comfort him from his memories.

"Our souls connected and intertwined with each other, creating a bond that can't be broken. If our souls were to untwine somehow, they would shatter, leaving our bodies as empty shells of our former selves. Though, I do not think it is even possible for our souls to be separated at this point."

Dean looked at Cas with a small smile on his face. He lowered his voice so that only Cas could hear him. "So, you could say we're soulmates."

Cas looked deep into Dean's eyes, the way he was getting into the habit of doing. A small smile graced his face as well as he said, "Yes, Dean, I believe we are."

Thoughts? Pm me or review. Let me know what you thought about why their souls connected, Dean's background with their father, Cas and Dean's relationship..anything! I want to know what you guys think! Thanks! =)