Westside Story From Hell

Chapter 9

After a few laughs and giggles, I decided to come to a conclusion. Our conversation we had last night was a fluke. I was being a generic female and I wanted comfort. But no matter how many times I told myself that, my chest would become heavy. It made me question myself. Was I lying to myself finally? After all these years of lying to others?

Sighing to myself, I watched as Nel slipped her shoes on her feet and stared at me from the door. Trying to keep a hold of my insides, I took a step to follow her out the door. Her eyes glowed and a smile stretch itself across her face. She took my breath away. My eyes that saw such dark things seemed to be blinded as her child-like innocence shone through her skin. Flashes of Grimmjow at lunch, in the hallways, and during battles whipped past me. His secret glances at her. His red tinted ears with a dumb struck face whenever she said something Grimmjow didn't expect. No wonder he was in love with her. She was the light at the end of the tunnel who knew how to wait.

I felt my skin glow as she giggled about how stupid my face looked a minute ago. I smile,a real smile and walk up to her, ruffling her hair with my fingers.

"You lucky girl!" I exclaimed before taking the keys out of her hand and walking down the stairs, out the door, and into the parking lot.

"Hey!" She yelled as she caught up to me. "I'm driving," she said while taking the keys from me. Smirking at her, I nodded and went to the passenger side.

Settling myself into her car, I stared straight ahead. My body was left in the care of Nel, but my mind was being held on to by Ulquiorra.

"I'm a coward, not a fighter," I heard my words echo in my head.

"I don't believe that," His response resounded in my ears soon after.

Tell me Ulquiorra, why do you believe in me? What do you see?

What do you see that I don't?

Nel decided that instead of going to a normal shopping center, we would go to the mall.
A mall, hence: something that has billions of people in it. Which wasn't really my kind of crowd.

Soon after she had found a parking spot (which, mind you, took a lot of time), we proceeded to go in. We walked quite a few ways before we reached the railing that let us look over the bottom floor. Stopping there, Nel began to zone out into space. Leaning my back against the railing, I crossed my arms and started listening in on other people's conversation with my eyes closed. Call it invasion of privacy; it was something to pass the time while Nel was trying to get her head back out of the clouds.

I picked up on a couple of girls that walked by gushing about a few guys at their school. Which was completely normal, I'd be surprised if I didn't hear any of that. The next group to walk inside my hearing range was a group of teenage boys. Normally, I would think they'd talk about video games like skyrim, or girls they saw around the area, or if they went there, some inappropriate…things that should not be repeated. OR EVEN VIOLENCE. No, they did not talk about that. They didn't say anything actually. I heard the squeaky sneakers come to a stop in front of us.

I lazily opened my eyes to stare at them. They stood like statues in front of me, just staring. They were gawking a little bit at us, and then I realized that they weren't looking at us. It was something behind us. I turned around, looking at the people at the other side of the mall. It took me a minute before I could register what I was seeing, but when I did. Boy, I saw red. Bright Red.

Grabbing Nel's hand, I dragged her along so I could stand in front of the scene. In a little space filled with nothing between two shops stood Nnoitra and Hanataro Yamada. Nnoitra stood over Hanataro in a dominant stance against the wall while Hanataro was trying to do all he could to avoid eye contact.

"What are you doing?" I snapped at Nnoitra. I didn't like him one bit, not now, not ever. I rested my hands on my hips, while Nel, who finally pulled out of her trance, tried to cower behind me. Which, quite frankly was more than likely impossible, considering she was taller than me by a few inches.

"We're just talking. There's no reason to be upset," Nnoitra said, straightening himself so he wasn't leaning over Hanataro anymore.

"Talking my ass," I grumbled to myself, but also loud enough to be heard by others. The tips of Nnoitra's ears turned red and his sickly sweet smile was thrown off this face.

"Don't talk to me like that, little girl!" He threatens. My eyes traveled to the little finger-printed bruises on Hanataro's neck and my anger begins to boil.

"You're the one that looks like a girl who hasn't gone through puberty yet!" I shout. He stands there looking flabbergasted for a second before regaining his posture.

"Look, you don't want to mess with me." He says in a low voice while taking a step closer in my direction and leaving Hanataro an open escape route behind him. I feel Nel shiver against my back.

"Orihime, come on. Let's go." I hear her whisper. Suddenly, reality rushed back to me. Nel was terrified of him and she was an empath. Her being here with me in this situation wasn't a good thing. But Hanataro was being physically assaulted and nobody tried to help him; I couldn't just sit back and watch.

"Please?" She asked, and my resolve broke. Reaching over, I grabbed Hanataro's wrist and held Nel's upper arm in my hand getting them out of there. Turning around back to look at Nnoitra, I sneered.

I didn't like the way I felt around someone who could physically hurt anybody.

But I also didn't like the way I felt, letting myself put Nel in that kind of situation.

I was ashamed.

Today, we didn't end up getting any pots or pans for me. I also wasn't able to forgive myself for causing Nel's pain. We had left the mall soon after the incident, putting both Nel and Hanataro in the back seat, I drove off to my home. I had healed Hanataro's bruises while he told me that Nnoitra was just trying to get some information about the Shinigami. He had said it was normal for someone to actually torture someone for this kinds of information.

When he left, it was just me and Nel. Nel had sat herself in the couch, creating a nest of blankets around her while she let her mind wander. I leaned against the wall and watched as emotions sped through her expressions 100 miles per hour.

If I had let my anger taken control of me, would Nel pass out from the stress on her body? Was she mad at me? I would be mad at me. What was going through her mind right now?

I walked up to her and sat down next to her on the couch. Twiddling with my thumbs, I set my elbows on my knees.

"So…" I started awkwardly. "I guess I shouldn't have done that?" I asked her.

"No," She paused, staring into space, "This is who you are. You defend people, sometimes for stupid reasons and most the times, in reckless ways. You were doing what you thought was right."

"But I put you in a difficult situation, " I sighed.

"Us being friends is a difficult situation. I think I can handle what comes our way." She responded, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

"I could hurt you." I whispered, suddenly having the truth of my words hit me like a tidal wave.

"So can Grimmjow," she responded with a slight smile. She raised her hand and rested it on my head, petting me like a little dog with its tail between its legs. "You can't protect me from everything. There will always be things you can't control." She trailed off, letting her hand fall.

At this moment, she was beautiful. Nel was before me, in all her glory. Eyes filled with pain, a bittersweet smile; her skin shone with a fire, not to be touched; her hair was matted to her face with sweat; her fingers shook with nervousness; the gentle wings of an angel were broken.

Nel was beautifully broken.

She was not upset with me for putting her up against Nnoitra. She was glad. Her far-away looks? She was realizing the answers that had always been there. Today, she accepted the fact that she was broken. Broken into millions of pieces that she wouldn't let anyone pick up. She had shoved everyone away telling herself that she could do it herself, but in the end was too scared to start the process.

The slight smile she wore when she spoke Grimmjow's name? She realized that though she had fallen for him, she has yet to tell him the truth; that she wasn't all that innocent. That instead of being that cheerful, carefree little girl that she pretended to be, she was actually a ghost. A ghost of a girl who used to be; a girl forced to walk in her own shadow for she couldn't fill her own shoes anymore.

We were alike, me and her; In more ways than one. But while she put up a façade, she was still willing to let people in. While I put up wall, drew myself a circle, and despised anyone willing to enter.

Soon after our conversation, she got up and left. I continued to sit there; I needed to reorganize my life. It was getting out my control, and my control was my wall to lean on. My conversation with Ulquiorra the other night, and my conversation with Nel today relayed in my head. For someone to believe in me and my will to fight, was something different. For someone close to me, to will themselves to start the healing process, scared me. I remembered a time when I reached out to her, and she refused to heal. So why now? Why change your mind? What was your gain? Was there ever something to gain? Who were you doing this for? Were you doing it for yourself? Your family? Your friends?

If you healed, what would become of us? Would we still be friends? Would you still want someone as damaged as me? Was I even damaged to begin with? My eyes widen as I tried answering the last question. Of course I was damaged. That's how damaged people meet. We seek out broken people.

If Nel wasn't broken anymore, would she still be my friend?

Why did I need Nel? Was I selfish?

No. I needed Nel because she taught me.

What did she teach me?

She taught me what it felt like to have a friend who understands. Completely understand what it felt like to actually have someone to be there for you, at all times.

Was I ever there for her, at all times?

No.

Does that make me horrible? Does she understand I can't be?

But why can't I be? Did I not understand her like she understood me?

"I don't know." I said aloud, hearing my voice in this empty room. This home of mine, was not a home. My voice, so weak and pitiful, compared to others I knew. I was nothing. It was disgraceful, for a friend to wish unhappiness on another. I wanted her to stay broken with me. To not heal.

These thoughts were dangerous, and I didn't like them at all. I curled up into a ball and covered my ears. These thoughts were hateful and spiteful. To wish suffering on another being wasn't right.

But who cares what's right anymore?

I care.

Why?

I don't need a reason.

Why care without a reason?

I needed something to take my mind off of things. Anything, anything would be fine. I clutched my shirt trying to cool myself down. It was getting extremely hot in here, and my chest ached. My throat began to hurt, to swell every time I tried breathing in. What was wrong with me? My stomach started to filled with anxiety.

I was panicking. I didn't know how to deal with this.

I didn't know how to deal with the thought of being alone.

Looking back in this chapter, I start to wonder if I was in the right mind... :]

NOTE FALLENANGEL320 AND MY FRIEND RISSA MADE ON MY PAPERS AFTER READING THIS CHAPTER:

Was I ever there for her at all times?
No. -OF COURSE NOT
Does that make me horrible? Does she understand I can't be?
Yes, your horrible.
Grammar ERROR. Yes, you're horrible.

That made me giggle in the middle of French class. ^^

Thank you all you have favorited/alerted my story, and to those you have reveiwed as well. :D

ShikallllTema : Because of you, I have now put down "Make sure the guy that marries me, offers to die with me first" on my bucket list x)

RandomStranger and RandomStranger2 : Hello : Allie, Rissa, Maddie, Morgan, Amber, Jay or Wyatt. I'm pretty sure this is allie since you have "CHANGE THE FREAKIN ENDING" in caps. Teehee^^ All in due time my fellow friend, all in due time.

ladycifer : Ulquiorra being sweet really does bring a permenant smile to our faces, doesn't it? :)

splitheart1120 : Your review made me laugh because of how ironic it was. Her problems do keep piling up, and in this chapter, I think she fell over... ^^

TIME TO FINISH CHAPTER 12, YOSH! :D