Chapter 20:
In the Time of Persuasion
Hanna thought she'd seen the last of her cheerful young adult years by the time she finished her second coffee at a bakery in Brookhaven. She stared into the empty cup, scowling at the muddy, wet mounds of coffee grounds that had gathered at the bottom, and felt about eighty years old. Five days had gone by and not a single word from Caleb. She didn't even know if he was, in fact, moving to Montecito with his mother, though it wasn't too hard for her to guess, now that it seemed he had no other reason to stick around in Rosewood.
Selfish.
She scolded herself, closing her eyes tight and heaving in a deep breath. The soft early December rain had cleared, and the sky was a startling, cloudless white that burned through her closed lids through the window. She sat at the long, thin table that ran the along the edges of the nearly empty bakery, perched on a barstool and facing blankly out the window. Outside, people dressed in scarves and warm hats as winter settled over them, but Hanna was cold in a different way; she was cold in a way that shook her to her core, which blazed chills beneath the surface of her skin.
The sharp, frosty sting of abandonment.
Screw you, Kelly Clarkson. And your stupid lying lyrics. She thought bitterly, recalling the old song that had played on her radio that morning. No, Kelly, no. Hanna didn't feel stronger when she was alone. She felt lost. Sick. Lonely.
She feared the thought of this feeling never going away. What if she never found someone like Caleb? Someone who understood her?
Someone who loved her.
At least, he used to.
"Hanna?" A familiar voice awoke Hanna from her trance and her eyes snapped open. "Hanna Marin?"
She peered over her shoulder and furrowed her eyebrows. "Will Lovat? What…what are you doing here? Are you living here now?"
"In Brookhaven? Nah. But we're neighbors again, actually."
"You're back in Rosewood?"
"Indeed I am." Will smiled. He looked very different than how Hanna remembered him, and she cocked her head to the side as she took in his glasses, green beanie, wool overcoat, and cup of coffee.
Finally, she nodded, clearing her throat. Her gaze fell back into her lap, "Oh. That's great. I'm glad you, uh, were able to come back home." She said lamely, and silently cursed herself once more for not being gifted with the internal filter that picked out the right words to say.
Will's roving eyes found the copy of Jane Austen's Persuasion that was laying beside her empty coffee on the table, and he pointed to it, "Something you're reading for school?" He asked.
"Huh?" Hanna's gaze snapped to the book, "Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my English class gave out a list of approved authors and Spencer told me that this one was good. But so far, I'm not seeing it."
"Well, why not?" Will asked. He pulled out the chair beside her and absently sat down in it. "What don't you like about it?"
"Well, first of all, I think it's sad how they broke up in the first place. Why does timing play such a key role in how a relationship works out?"
"Well, timing really is everything, Hanna." Will replied, idly flipping through the pages of a novel. "Like, say you're in a sad situation, and you need a friend. And a friendly stranger just happens to be in the same situation, and you happen to both be in the same spot at the same time, and are able to talk and discuss your problems. That's good timing."
"Well, I feel like love conquers all no matter what, right?" Hanna knit her perfectly shaped brows and leaned into the book while he held it.
"I guess that's a good argument. How do you say?"
"Well, I mean, if you have love in your life, isn't that enough forever? Of course, what am I saying? I thought my parents had love. But that only led to heartbreak." Hanna shrugged.
"Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. So what? It doesn't mean that there isn't hope for a second chance at love. Isn't that what this book is all about?"
Hanna smiled bittersweetly. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."
"Have you finished it yet?"
"The book? Nope. Not quite. What happens?" She asked eagerly.
"What, and spoil the ending for you? No way!" Will teased, snapping it shut and setting back in its original spot.
"Oh come on!" Hanna pleaded. "You have to tell me!"
"No, I don't!" Will shook his head, a bemused smile gracing his lips.
"Well, did it end the right way?"
"Whose version of right?"
"You know…everyone's."
"I'm not sure I'm familiar with that logic." Will chuckled, "But I think you'll understand why it ends the way it does."
"Hmm." Hanna picked up the book and turned it over in her hands. "Maybe it's not so bad after all."
"See you later." Spencer smiled, bracing her elbows on the window frame of the driver's seat of the truck. She leaned into the car, and Toby met her halfway in a kiss. She grinned against his lips. "Thanks for the ride."
"No problem." Toby said when she pulled back. "I'll pick you up after work. Now don't spend too much." His fingers toyed with a lock of her hair from her side ponytail.
"I know, I know, Dad…" Spencer teased. She readjusted her little navy beret and kissed his cheek, "Alright, get to work. Make me proud." She said, patting her fingers on the sky-blue t-shirt that covered his shoulder.
Toby saluted her teasingly and she leaned back, but before she could get too far, he slipped his hand behind her neck, pulling her back towards him and kissing her again. She giggled against his mouth. "Hurry home, Romeo. I have a fun evening planned for us tonight."
"Hmm…you know, I could call in sick if you want…" Toby teased, rubbing his nose against hers.
Spencer laughed, "As tempting as that sounds, you need to make some cash so we can buy decent gifts for our friends for Christmas. I don't think that they're going to go for fuzzy socks and Lindor chocolates again this year."
"Fine." Toby smiled and pecked her lips one more time. "See you tonight Juliet."
"See you." She stepped back from the car, and waved as he put the car into drive.
As Toby drove away from the curb, the truck revealed Hanna, Aria, and Bree standing in front of Macy's revolving door. The three of them had enormous grins on their faces and their hands clasped over their hearts. With their heads tilted to the side, they let out a resounding, "Aw!"
Spencer rolled her eyes as she hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and walked stiffly onto the pavement.
"It's like they're married already!" Bree giggled, and gripped Spencer's elbow when she reached them.
Hanna and Aria giggled and Spencer swatted them both over the head. They continued to cackle the entire way through the doorway as they entered Macy's, which was heavy-laden with holiday shoppers.
"I think you guys forget that Aria's the only one who's engaged." Spencer said stiffly, walking a few feet ahead of them.
"Not for long!" Aria sang, looping her elbow through Spencer's.
"Well, I still think this shopping trip is a waste. Who knows if I'll even find what I'm looking for? Which, come to think of it, is what, exactly? Like, what would be right as an engagement gift? Something like a ring? So, I get down on my knees and give him what?"
Hanna snickered loudly behind her and raised her hand to answer, and Spencer clapped a hand over her face, "So didn't mean that how it sounded…"
Aria and Bree joined in with the giggles. Bree came to the other side of her at they made their way through the hustle and bustle of Macy's into the mall hallway. "Hey you." She poked her in the shoulder, "I'm still angry that you didn't tell me!"
"Well, I was a bit preoccupied with my boyfriend's step sister in a coo-coo hut and my sister's secret love child. Anyway, come to think of it, how in the world would Linda Channing know about my possible proposal? I wonder if a little blabber-mouth black-haired bird told her…" She gave Aria the devil glare, who merely shrugged and batted her hand in the air as if the push the problem away.
"Hey, you heard the Neon Trees. Everybody talks."
Spencer snorted and shook her head, rolling her eyes.
"Okay, stay on topic. So, is there anything nice that Toby would need? Like anything new he needs that still classy?" Hanna asked.
They rounded the corner, coming along another strip of shops. "Uhm, let me think…" Spencer replied. "Oh! He needs a new watch! If I get him a really nice one, that would be a pretty good representative of a ring, right?"
"Wait, what happened to the one I got him for his birthday?" Hanna furrowed her eyebrows.
"Uhm…I broke it…." Spencer avoided Hanna's eye contact and idly peered into a Bebe store window, faking insane interest in a sweater a mannequin was sporting.
"Wait, how would you break it?" Hanna continued.
"Uh…it smashed against the bedpost."
"Wait, how would that – "
"You know, I don't feel like answering questions right now, Dr. Watson…" Spencer gave a forced, nervous laugh and turned back to them. "Where's the nearest jewelers?"
"Ooh, check out this sucker!" Hanna said, her eyes going huge at a large diamond ring in a display case that greeted them in the entryway of the shop. "Maybe Toby will be so grateful, he'll get you one of these babies, Spence!"
Spencer snorted and rolled her eyes, making her way over to the watches section. Her eyes raked over the selection, spotting a few good ones.
"So wait, when are you going to do this…little thing?" Bree asked, coming up behind her.
"Uhm, I don't know." Spencer replied honestly. "I was brainstorming ideas, and maybe – "
"Oooh! What about New Years?!" Hanna said, her loud voice carrying over the length of the store. She hurried along towards them, her face a mask of excitement. "Think about it! Right when the clock strikes midnight, you pull out the watch and some really cheesy, romance-movie line about new beginnings or whatever and boom! You'll start the new year off as an engaged woman!"
"You know, that's not a bad idea!" Spencer said honestly. She nodded. "I like it! Good thinking Hanna. But wait, cheesy?! Uhm, have I ever said anything cheesy? Ever? In my lifetime? Come on, I'm Spencer Hastings, for crying out loud!"
Bree burst into a fit of giggles and Hanna rolled her eyes, laughing. "Fine, fine, you'll say something wonderfully classy and beautiful and poetic and romantic. Which we can figure out the details to later. Meanwhile, you, missy, need to pick out this watch. Alright, what kind are we looking for?"
"Well, just something that says quality but not 'Hey, I'm trying to buy your love.'"
"So, I'm guessing that the fourteen-grand solid gold Cartier might be off the list?" Aria asked, coming up behind her and tapping the glass case over where the gaudy watch sat.
"Yeah, you could say that." Spencer nodded.
"Hey, how about this one?" Hanna asked. She pointed to a sleek black leather watch with a silver face within the case.
Spencer furrowed her eyebrows and peered through the glass at the watch. "'Victorinox Swiss Army Watch, Men's Alliance Black Leather Strap.'" She read the label.
Bree whistled. "Ooh, fanc-ay." She said, drawing out the syllables.
"I like it, though." Aria nodded. "It's nice, but not too hoity-toity. Very…Toby-esque."
Spencer laughed and nodded. "It's perfect. I like it a lot."
"Me too." Hanna and Bree agreed.
"Time to send a pic to Em!" Aria said, fishing her cell phone out of her bag and snapping a quick photograph of the watch before any of the salepeople could notice. She quickly texted it to Emily before sliding her phone back into her bag. "There."
"Uh-oh." Bree scratched the back of her head. "Check out the price, Spence."
"Ooh." Spencer bit her lip when she saw the six followed by two zeros. "That's a little much."
"Hey, think of how much a ring would have been!" Hanna said stubbornly.
"That's true…" Spencer nodded. "But Toby has a job and an income; I'm living off of my parents' cash."
"Well, did the Bank of Mommy cut you a check recently?" Hanna asked.
"Yeah. But that would just about clean me out."
"Well, so what? Toby buys you your food all the time. You practically live out of his apartment. Unless there's some amazing boots at Saks that go for six hundred and would be better than having a husband, I think that this is worth it."
Spencer cocked her head to the side and looked at the watch again, then back at Hanna. "Alright." She decided. "Go get a cashier started."
"On it!" Bree volunteered before heading towards the jeweler's check out counter.
"Now we just have to work on what I'm going to say-slash-do when I give this to him." Spencer said.
"Hmm…I think I might have an idea…" Hanna replied, a mischievous grin crossing her face.
"Oh, God. Should I be scared?" Spencer asked worriedly.
"Uh, only if you have a deathly fear of happy-fiancée syndrome!" Hanna bobbed her head back and forth like a bobblehead, in a rather "Uh duh, stupid" way.
"Alright. Fine. What is it?"
"Okay. What's the first moment where you remember having a true connection with Toby?" Hanna asked.
"Uhm, junior year, when I came to tutor him in French. Why?"
"Okay, so you're going to write a poem-thingy and put it in the box with the watch." Hanna cleared her throat, putting on her best faux-romantic voice, "'Oh my, how time has gone by, it feels like just yesterday we were reading Catcher in the Rye. We conjugated verbs and adjectives and nouns, soon I'll be shopping for bridal gowns…'"
"Oh man…" Spencer clapped a hand over her face while Aria jumped up and down, joining in. "Hallmark called, they want their slogans back."
"For a while my trust in you would falter, but in a bit of time we'll be at the alter!" Aria continued, clapping her hands.
"Those three words eight letters and an old pick up truck, finding you was the best of luck!" Hanna said.
"Alright enough with the Hallmark card cheesy romance, ok?" Spencer said. "Do you want me to sound like Dr. Seuss, Han? Rhymes and puns up the ying-yang?"
"Oh come it! It's sweet! Toby'd like it!"
"Doubt it…" Spencer rolled her eyes.
But before Hanna could voice a retort, Bree returned with a salesman to unlock the case and bring out the watch. "That one." Bree pointed to the one they had collectively selected. "The black Swiss Army one."
The salesman smiled kindly and opened the case. Spencer reached her hand inside and picked up the watch, feeling it in her palm. She inspected it for a moment before nodded. "Yep. This is the one."
"Alright, can we please get Taco Bell or something? Or at least McDonalds? I need meat now or I'll start eating Aria." Hanna said once the girls walked down the mall hallway, avoiding busybody holiday shoppers. The mall was already decked out for Christmas, with wreaths adorning the front of the escalators, and decorated evergreen trees in nearly every corner.
"Hey why me first?" Aria protested. She hitched her Macy's bag higher on her shoulder and pushed a lock of black hair out of her eyes.
"Because you're closest. And tiniest, so it would be easier to hold you down."
"Mmm, that's comforting…" Aria replied.
"Alright, can we at least hit Starbucks? I need to set these bags down. My arms hurt." Hanna said, pointing to the coffee shop at the next corner.
"Well, you didn't have to buy seven pairs of shoes, Han." Spencer said. The blonde fashionista had dragged them into Victoria's Secret, Cache, Nordstrom, and JCPenney's after they had left the jewelers. Bree had a tiny PINK bag handing from her elbow, Aria a few little accessories bags filled with feathered hair pieces from Macy's, and Hanna was hauling at least two bags from each store they had gone into.
"Well, maybe I need something to take my mind off things, Spence." Hanna said tightly, keeping her gaze ahead.
Spencer resisted the urge to push her further, knowing that she was at a tender stage in the break-up. She instead gripped the handle of her jewelers bag tighter as the four friends rounded the corner, nearing Starbucks. A subtle beep from her purse alerted her that someone – presumably Toby – was trying to get ahold of her. She dug her hand into her bag and began fumbling around for it as they stumbled through the doorway.
"Can we just talk about how cute these boots are, though? I'm thinking about wearing them to my dad's for his Christmas party. Of course, with my luck Kate will be wearing the same – " Hanna's voice cut off sharply and she came to a halt just before the line started, causing a disoriented, still-pawing-for-phone Spencer to collide into her back.
"Hey, Han, what's your – " But her voice cut off when she saw Hanna's line of vision.
There, in the corner of Starbucks, amongst a stack of textbooks, sat Caleb, drinking coffee, but otherwise not moving. Hanna's eyes drilled holes into his skull, but he didn't seem to notice her existence. Either that or he chose not to. Spencer could practically feel the tension between them, like a tethered rope, tying them together. Like gravity.
"Uhm, here, let's…let's just go to Orange Julius." Aria said quickly, reaching out and taking Hanna's hand. Hanna stood still like a statue, staring. Spencer took her other hand and together, she and Aria tugged her along, out of the shop, with Bree at their heels.
And as the four girls silently traveled father and father away from the coffee shop, Spencer knew why Hanna had been so shocked.
It wasn't because she hadn't seen Caleb since their breakup.
It wasn't because she didn't know what to say.
It wasn't that she thought he didn't notice her.
It was because he was holding a brochure for a college in Montecito in his hands.
gah! sorry about the late update/short ch. i kinda had writers block for this one.
first of all, what do you think of Will? is he trustworthy? hmm...?
also, im taking some requests for the next chapter, b/c i need somewhat of a buffer chapter between this one and the next one i have planned. it might just be some fluff with Spoby, but just lemme know what you guys wanna hear/read ;)
playlist for this chapter:
1) little bird - ed sheeran
2) i miss you - blink-182
3) corner - allie moss
thanks again to my darling love, bree, for always letting me use her lovely name ;) love to pieces baby girl!
live love spoby,
AJ