Chapter 30:

Aren't We Just Terrified?

"You're staring at me, you know." Spencer said with a soft smile, her eyes still closed.

She expected Toby to reply, but he stayed silent and kept tracing soft patterns along her bare back, where the scar tissue was the worst. Ever since her incident in the alleyway, Toby had been fascinated (read: extremely obsessed) with every part of her body that bore some kind of scar. She'd catch him staring intently at the white jagged lines beneath her ear, where they disappeared into her hair. Whenever she got dressed in the morning, he was always at her back, his hands gently touching the ghost of a wound that had once been present on her shoulder.

Now, as she lay sprawled across his bare chest, he continued to idly trace her scars.

"They don't hurt anymore, you know." She informed him, her eyes still closed. "All they are is tissue now."

"It's the memories that hurt, Spence." He said softly, his voice gravelly from the morning.

"I've moved on. It's Jenna's problem now. And I don't have to worry about it anymore."

"I just hate the thought of anyone doing that to you." He whispered. His voice was barely audible over the sound of the breeze pouring in from the open window, jangling the curtains. "Anyone touching you like that…"

"It's nothing, Toby." Spencer said hastily, shaking her head. She finally opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbows against his chest, looking him in the eye, "They were drunk. It's nothing but the past now."

"But these are forever." He continued gently, running his fingertips along the scars across her back. His touch trailed upward over her shoulder blade, and then his hand found its way to the hollow beneath her ear, where the scars were the most gathered.

She giggled, "That tickles!" She complained.

He finally smiled, chuckling a bit. Pulling her into him, he buried his face into her shoulder and she ran a hand through his hair, breathing him in.

Four days had passed since the holidays – and Melissa's shocking reveal that shook their worlds once again – and Spencer was still trying to adjust to the idea of her sister and Taylor alone in that house.

Wren hadn't called.

Hadn't turned up on their doorstep.

Hadn't even bothered to say goodbye.

The thought shook Spencer to her core. It wasn't like it was a shock – Lord knows that Melissa and Wren's relationship had been anything but smooth sailing – but she never exactly pictured the idea of them not being together. All of the fighting, the alienation, the problems…all of it was familiar.

Now Wren was gone, Melissa was pregnant with a secret love child, Taylor was stuck in the middle, and nothing made sense anymore.

In the midst of all of the crazy, her sister's doomed relationship was paradoxically the only thing solid for her.

Toby obviously felt her body tense, and he pulled back to look at her face. His eyebrows furrowed as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What? Are you remembering it?" He asked softly, his thumb lightly stroking along the same scar beneath her ear.

She shook her head. "No." She said. "I'm just thinking about Wren and Melissa in this whole mess of things."

"I know." Toby replied with empathy. "It sucks. It really does. But…you knew it was headed there anyway, right?"

"Yeah but…wasn't that what made it work out to begin with? The fact that they would stay together just in spite of everyone's doubts?"

"Spencer. What is this really about?"

"Everything's changing now, Toby! Everything I thought I could rely on is falling apart. My brother and I have barely spoken since he let Jenna move in, I almost got killed in an alleyway by some drunk men who thought that I was your step-sister," Toby flinched at her words, but she pressed on, "And now this? What can I rely on anymore, Toby? Nothing's solid."

The side of his mouth quirked up into an understanding, bitter half-smile. He gently picked up her hand where it lay on his chest and held it up to his face. "This is." He told her, nodding towards the ring that crowned her finger.

A sad, sweet smile graced her face, "I know. You're right." She said. He brought her closer again and rubbed his nose back and forth against hers – a sweet sign of devotion that they had done since they were teenagers. She sighed and pressed her face against his neck, hoping that the essence of his warm skin would drown out the thoughts in her head. He responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her, incasing her in his soft heat. But close was never close enough for Spencer at times like these. She wanted him nearer, closer. She wanted him under her skin, where he could never get away.

Pulling back, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, sighing as his breath warmed her face. He reciprocated the action by sliding his hands into her hair and tilting his head gently, deepening their contact. She let out a soft, breathy sound as he kissed her again, his lips working gently against hers.

"Mm." She drew away as the alarm on his side table blared, "I have to meet Aria. We're doing the final preparations on her bachelorette party." She reached across him and hit the SNOOZE button.

"Skip it. Tell her you had other plans." Toby continued to run his fingers through her hair, and let his lips linger on her skin, traveling down her throat.

"Like what?" Spencer snorted.

"Like you got stuck in jury duty or something."

"Well the verdict's up Romeo – Aria's getting married in less that five months."

"That's like five months from now."

"Precisely." Spencer agreed, choosing not to accept his bait, "Which is why I have to get going." She said with a smile, still trying to extract herself from his grip.

"Someone else is going to be married in a few months' time…Juliet, I think her name is…" Toby said in faux concentration while his mouth idly worshipped her bare shoulder. His grip tightened on her waist, making it impossible for her to wriggle away.

"Oh, is that so?" Spencer said, unable to stop herself from playing along.

"Yes, indeed." Toby confirmed as he ran the tip of his nose along her collarbone, "I hear she's quite the catch. Men in Rosewood line up around the block just to hear her say their names. But as a sucker for a romantic love story, she picked the misunderstood boy-next-door."

"Well hey now, you have to give the boy-next-door some credit." Spencer continued, "I mean, he was put through hell and back but was still able to achieve what he wanted to in life; he was driven. And had a heart of gold."

Toby chuckled against her skin, "Yes, I think they call him...Romeo, was it?"

"I believe it was." Spencer nodded. "Of course, you would always hear the petty girls up and down the halls of the high school, gossiping and whispering about how sure they were that his abs were insured for ten thousand dollars…"

This made Toby laugh again, "Well, it's no wonder why the boy fell for the girl – after all, if the doe eyes didn't have him at first glance, the sarcasm was too cute to pass up."

"Maybe it was his lips that sealed the deal for her…" She giggled in regards to the kisses he was now pressing beneath her earlobe, "Or maybe the eyes – I hear they're bluer than the Caspian Sea."

"Are they now?"

"Indeed they are."

"I've heard the girl is rather clever," He replied, "It doesn't seem likely that she would fall for this – Romeo, is it? – based on such shallow credentials."

"Oh no, certainly not." Spencer agreed, "It wasn't his eyes that made her fall. Or the way he liked to kiss in the rain, and sleep late in the mornings. Or how he would always smell a bit like sawdust from his work. Or even how he liked to whistle songs from the fifties on occasion, and play the guitar more than necessary." She grinned coyly and he pulled back. He was in a semi-upward position, and she was straddling his hips, gripping the hair at the back of his head to peer into those infamous blue eyes, "I bet it was his love that really brought her in."

Toby smiled – that genuine smile that she knew too well – and kissed her forehead. Before she could even offer up a grin at the sweet gesture, he suddenly moved and flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the mattress beneath her. She let out an exasperated laugh as his lips found hers.

"You are so going to be late for coffee…"

"I think it's time I took you on a date." Will told Hanna, and she furrowed her eyebrows, looking up from the page of her magazine.

"What?" She asked.

"You know, a date. Like two people go out together…go to dinner, see a movie? It's quite a common custom in today's day and age."

"Oh, is it now?" Hanna replied sarcastically, just for the fun of it.

She and Will had selected a secluded spot of the Apple Rose Grille to have lunch, and the two of them had been nothing but smiles all morning. An hour after she woke up, Will had texted her and asked her to meet him in front of Lucky Leon's for coffee, and the rest just…well, went from there.

After her holiday encounter with Caleb, it was nice for Hanna to have Will back in town to be with her. Everything was just so…calm with Will. Nothing was rushed. Nothing was hurried. Everything was at ease.

It wasn't…so desperate.

She debated whether or not she would tell Will about her run in with Caleb, but ultimately decided against it. Will already knew about her past relationship with Caleb – she had told him a few days previous to their first kiss on the stairwell of her apartment – but as far as he knew, Caleb was long gone, in her rearview mirror, and she was working hard to get over him.

Psh. Nope. Caleb was still very well in the passenger's seat of the car, giving her ideas and influencing her decisions on which roads to take. And then there was Will, in her backseat, encouraging her to take whatever route felt right for her.

It was all so confusing Hanna thought her brain would explode.

"Haven't we already been on one of those?" She asked skeptically. "Like, multiple times?"

"I disagree." Will shook his head, "We've hung out. We've met up for coffee. But we've never actually done the traditional 'I-pick-you-up-and-take-you-out-for-a-nice-dinner-or-movie' kind of thing."

"Oh. I guess we haven't." She absently fingered the necklace he had given her – something she hadn't taken off since she had first put it on.

Hanna didn't want to mention the fact that she wasn't exactly hot on the idea of a date. Not that she didn't like Will, it was just…

Caleb.

Always Caleb.

Everything just led up to Caleb.

She hadn't been on a proper date since Caleb. And if she did, in fact, go through with the date with Will, she would be forced to acknowledge her relationship with Caleb as history, a thing of the past, something that no longer mattered.

And she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to do so.

But Will just kept on smiling at her with that crooked Andrew-Garfield grin and she melted. All of his intentions were nothing but kind and respectful. Why should she pass that up?

So, she smiled back and nodded. "How does New Years' sound? Dinner before heading to Aria and Ezra's to watch the ball drop?"

"Sounds great." He replied, his grin widening. "I'll pick you up at six?"

"It's a date."

"So, the infamous Spencer Hastings has finally come to accept the ultimate romantic gesture." Aria proclaimed as she set down her fifth wedding magazine on the table. "Well, it's about-freaking-time."

Ezra chuckled behind her and approached her from the kitchen. Bracing his hands on each side of the table in front of her, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head. She was seated at the kitchen table, buried in a sea of magazines and wedding plans – mostly her own, but here and there a few drabbles of ideas for the 'Spoby' wedding – a few days after Christmas.

"Well, wasn't Spencer the one who always read those romantic novels in high school?" He asked.

"No, Ezra. That was me."

"Oh." He laughed again and she could feel his breath on her ear behind her as he gently nuzzled her hair. "I guess I was too distracted by your face to notice what you were reading in class…"

Aria giggled. While it had been a more-than-stressful time in high school playing emotional ping-pong and keeping her relationship with Ezra secret, she quite enjoyed looking back on the memories. Now that she was on the other side of it all, she could look back and remember it fondly.

"Well, I wasn't sure I ever even read in your class…" She replied, "After all, who could concentrate on schoolwork when they have your beautiful eyes distracting them so…?"

They both laughed and Ezra pulled out the seat beside her, sitting down. "Alright, you." He said, gently ruffling her hair, "What are we focusing on with the wedding as of now?"

"Bachelorette party." She answered, holding up a few brochures – one for Vegas, one for a day spa in Huntington Beach, and one for Florida.

"Ooh." He plucked them out of her hand and started flipping through them, "Should I be worried about this event? I mean, there won't be any male strippers there, right? Because, I mean, I've seen The Proposal and…"

"No!" Aria burst into a fit of laughter, taking back the brochures, "Just a couple of girlfriends hanging out!"

"Well, if Hanna has anything to do with it…"

"She won't." Aria promised, still giggling, "Spencer and I have this covered. And plus, I thought that Toby, Harvey, and Jason were going to take you out for your bachelor party soon!"

"There are." He said, "But you have nothing to worry about."

"Oh, and why is that?" She asked with a smile, leaning closer.

"Because I won't be able to concentrate on anything – much less another women – knowing that I'll be marrying you in such a short time."

Aria smiled, "Well, you are pretty lucky…" She said in faux-understanding.

Ezra laughed and slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her playfully into him and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Wow. Look at you, all grown up." Jason's smile lit his face and Spencer grinned back.

She laughed and looked back down at her hand, which was spread out in front of her brother for him to gaze at her ring.

"Yeah, look at me, all grown up." She echoed.

She had met Jason at his house later that evening, and promptly told him the exciting news. As the exceptional brother he was, Jason expressed his congratulations and pulled her in for a tight hug. The two now sat out on the upstairs balcony that hung off the back of the house, overlooking the backyard and the entire rest of the neighborhood. Jason had made them both a fresh mug of coffee, and they just sat there, on the wicker chairs, listening to the sounds of the city. They didn't need to speak much; they were too alike to do anything else.

"It's funny, isn't it?" She asked, "How everything seems to change in Rosewood and yet…most things just…stay the same?" She took a sip of her coffee.

Jason nodded, "Yeah. This town will always be the same. We try to change ourselves but…we're always who we are. Deep down inside, we know that."

"Have you talked to Jenna?" She asked absently.

He shook his head. "Not since she decided not to allow visitors anymore."

Spencer debated telling him the truth about the incident. How it had nothing to do with Garrett and that her mugging in the alleyway was not by a coincidence. She decided against it, knowing that, while Jenna deserved everything she got, she didn't need someone else knowing about the most shameful thing she'd ever done.

Psh. Spencer thought, Haven't I come a long way?

"Have you?" He inquired.

"Hm? Oh, no. Not really. Like you said…she doesn't want visitors anymore." She lied. Jenna was probably too mortified to even face Jason. Jason, who had welcomed her in when no one else would.

When Spencer herself had turned her away…

She cleared her throat and looked over at him, "You know, I hear that CeCe is in town for the holidays."

This made Jason laugh, "And?"

"…And, I thought you told me last year that you two were friends again."

"Friends is a very loose concept, Spence. We're amiable; not compatible. We're too destructive together."

Spencer nodded. She completely understood. Too much fire in one relationship led to quite a sizzling burn.

She could almost smell the ash, the cinders and flames, burning it away.

Wait…could she actually smell it?

Furrowing her eyebrows, Spencer sat up at looked around the horizon for any signs of smoke. She sniffed again. Yes, that was definitely smoke that she smelled.

"Do you smell that?" She asked Jason.

"Smell what?"

"That…smoke. The ash."

Confused, Jason sat up, looking around, sniffing. "Yeah." He replied, "I think I do."

"Where's it coming from…?"

Suddenly, a harsh crackling sound made them turn hastily towards the sliding door behind them. Inside the house, behind the glass, they saw a large glow of orange and yellow. The glass of the sliding door and the windows of the master bedroom were getting fogged up with smoke.

Oh no. Oh, no no no no no.

"Shit." Jason cursed under his breath. He quickly got to his feet, and Spencer followed suit, stumbling backwards.

"Oh God." She gulped, "Jason, how did your house catch fire?!"

"I don't know!" He shouted back, and she could see in his eyes that he was struggling to find a way out.

"Call the fire department! Quick!"

"They won't get here quick enough before the house burns down." Jason replied bluntly, and she could hear the worry rattling his voice.

"Oh God…" She muttered, shaking. "How are we supposed to get off of the balcony?!"

Suddenly, the fire leered closer, and the second master bedroom window burst, showering shards of glass across the balcony. Spencer squealed and she and Jason stooped and covered their heads with their arms as they were pelted with pieces of shattered glass.

Jason was swiftly at her side, his arms wound around her waist, dragging her towards the side of the balcony, closer to the railing.

"We have to jump." He said quickly, his voice determined, yet apprehensive.

"What?!" She replied in disbelief, "It's at least twenty feet high!"

"We have to. Or else the fire will disconnect the balcony, and we'll be hurtled down with the rest of the house. This is the only way we can save ourselves before it collapses on us."

Spencer looked into Jason's eyes, seeing fear, determination, resolve, and concern all at once. She took a deep breath and nodded. She had to trust him.

"Alright." She replied. Jason went first, climbing up on the top of the railing and quickly jumping over the side, landing hard, yet smoothly on his feet. When he regained his composure, he hastily shouted up to her, "Okay, now you!" He called, "I'll catch you!"

She nodded, and took a deep breath, bracing her shaky, clammy hands on the railing. She hitched her leg over the side, preparing to balance herself on the edge. Suddenly, another window burst behind her. When she looked over her shoulder, her eyes went wide. The flames were rapidly eating away at the back of the house, along the walls and – before she could even scream – the balcony broke off the side.

"Jason!" She screamed, trying to jump before the balcony brought her down. But it was too late; with one leg already hitched over the railing, she was unable to jump in time. The balcony came crumbling down, hurtling towards the grass of the backyard. Jason made a run for it, trying to get out of the patch of the oncoming chunks of flaming wood.

Spencer had no choice but to hold onto the railing for dear life, and when she finally reached the ground, the impact of the fall sent her tumbling across the grass, which was quickly becoming ablaze with fire.

She groaned, rolling onto her side. Jason's voice sounded a million miles away as he shouted at her to get up and keep moving. When she didn't comply, she felt his arms beneath her, hauling her upwards and into his grasp. Suddenly, the world around her was spinning. Had she hit her head harder than she thought she had?

Jason carried her around the side of the house as quickly as he could, and when he reached the street out front – putting enough distance between themselves and the house – he set her on her feet. Dizzy, she stumbled back, and his hands gripped her shoulders to keep her upright.

When she had finally shaken off her vertigo enough to hold herself up, the two of them stood stoically in front of Jason's house at the flames slowly ate it away. They heard the fire trucks' sirens as they came hurrying down the street. Dozens of fire fighters buzzed around them like busy bees, working to put out the fire. All of Jason's neighbors evacuated their homes to come and watch and comfort them.

But neither of them moved. Neither of them said anything to each other or anyone else. Not even as they last pieces of Jason's home – his childhood place – crumbled to the ground among the ash and embers. They were silent through it all.

They were too alike to do anything else.

thank you all for such positive reviews on my story. you guys really mean the world to me.

now, i tried to incorperate hanna/will/caleb into this story b/c of the overwhelming amount of requests i got to keep going with it. however, i tried to keep it as short as possible so there would be more time for spencer and toby's storyline. i got quite a few requests for ezria, so i decided to throw a smidgen of fluff into this ch ;) hope you liked!

if i can get to 310 reviews for this ch, i'll update by thursday ;)

-AJ