Hi everyone :)

Just a quick thank you to everyone's reviews and all my lovely followers and favourites.

I also just want to put anyone's mind at rest and make this clear now that this is not a cheating story line. Both Ana and Christian will always be faithful. Although the rest is going to be drama filled of course hehe

I'm sorry its taken so long to update but I'm going back to Uni soon and had to sort some stuff out before I got down to writing more , but it's all sorted now so yay

Anyway on to the story , hopefully this chapter will clear up why Ana has been fainting so much , as I know lots of you are getting annoyed at her weakness.

Alexandra xx

The pain I feel increases as my emotions heighten. Everything feels so wrong! I feel trapped in my own inner turmoil. This overpowering drama is literally suffocating me , I need to get away , I need time to breath and think. I need to see a doctor!

"Christian please . Please get me to the hospital. Blip is in trouble , I just know it!" my voice is so weak and broken. My whole body is fighting to keep standing but all I want to do is sleep. Sleep and never wake.

"Breath baby , keep strong for us Ana. Please don't let this break us. You just have to breathe through this , it will be over soon" Christian's voice is nearly as broken as mine. He knows how much he's hurt me by his deception. He's been thinking about another women and not just any women but an ex sub who he's got a daughter with. In my eye's that's just as bad as physically sleeping with someone.

"Stop telling me to breath and get me to the hospital!" I shout at him and once again pain racks my body causing me to scream out. I can't even look at him , because in some weird way he's caused this. My pain is caused by my stress , that much is obvious , and he is the only thing that causes me stress , him and his fifty fucking shades!

"Taylor! Get the car ready and ring my mother and tell her to meet us at the hospital. Tell her to stop whatever she is doing , Ana needs her!" I refrain from shouting at Christian for directing his anger at poor Taylor , it's no use causing another unneeded argument.

Within seconds of Christian barking his orders at Taylor I feel strong arms picking me up effortlessly and carrying me out the door towards the waiting SUV. Another kick of pure pain slams into me and I scream into Christian's chest , tears of raw emotion flowing freely down my cheeks. I desperately fight the sudden exhaustion that takes over , I refuse to blackout again. I'm not going to be weak little Anastasia anymore.

"Breath through it baby" sooths my husband as we speed down the highway towards the hospital.

"Stop telling me to breath! I am breathing Christian!" my anger is so intense that I startle Taylor as he drives us and I catch his anxious eyes staring at me from the rear view mirror. Poor Taylor he really does have to put up with a lot working for Christian and me. I send him a weak apologetic smile and he nods softly before turning his attention back to the road.

"Taylor drive faster! I want us at that hospital now! Put your foot down or so help me god you won't be hearing the end of this!" I snarl at Christian's anger. I don't care how worried he is or how much he hates not being in control. I will not have a good man like Taylor being spoken to like that! He has nothing wrong!

"Stop shouting at him" unfortunately my voice betrays me and comes out as a barely audible squeak.

"What was that baby?" his arm is around me swiftly and his voice full of that love and concern I know and love , although I wish he would keep that voice at all times.

"I said stop shouting at Taylor. He's done nothing wrong Christian and you know it" another wave of pain kicks me hard and I wince , shutting my eyes in an attempt to fight the desperate need I have to shut down. Using every ounce of strength I have I move away from his arms and lock my eyes with his. "The anger you have against Taylor is just your way of ignoring the anger you should have against yourself. You're the one in the wrong here Christian , not Taylor" I notice Taylor's eyes watching me again but I ignore him . I know he doesn't like me defending him against Christian , he's a very loyal employee and also Christian's friend , but I need to say this. I'm the only person who Christian listens too , at least I think I am. My husband still hides so much from me that sometimes I wonder who he really trusts with all his secrets. I keep this to myself though and instead watch his grey eyes blink rapidly , obviously not expecting such a deep conversation from this hasty trip.

"Ana I..." I cut him off as we reach the hospital. Leaning over carefully and opening the door so I can slide out of the SUV. Ignoring Christian's anger as I walk away from him and head straight for the reception desk.

"Ana! Ana stop. Let me handle this" he races over to me and grabs my arm , pulling me back before I can enter the building. Not this time Mr Grey. For the first time I will control the situation.

"Christian let go of my arm" his eyes meet mine and I can physically feel the panic that is pulsing through him. My behaviour is unusual to him , yes I go against him but never when I'm this much in pain. I know he wants to be the knight in shining armour that goes storming into the hospital and makes sure that I am given the best treatment available straight away. He has that power , he's Christian Grey for God sake. He always gets what he wants. But not this time.

"Ana please let me help" his eyes are tearing up , the light has completely dwindled from them and left them empty and desperate. It's a killing sight to see him so lost , so scared of being left alone. Once again he's that lost little boy in mismatched clothing desperately trying to wake the women who he loves with all his heart. But my heart is too broken , too destroyed even , to let him take this from me. I need to show him my hurt , my pain. This is the way it has to be , for myself and blip. We have to fight our own battle for once.

"Go home Christian. You've got me to the hospital , you've done what I asked. Now I'm asking you to leave me alone. This is hurting our baby , the stress is too much for me , it's dangerous for me to surround by so much. So please do as I ask and let me heal" slowly I back away from him , letting his arm fall to his side as he lets go. His whole body shrinks in on itself as I move further away from him.

"Your leaving?" my stomach twists and knots as another hit of pain crashes against me but I hardly feel it , all I am thinking about is keeping myself moving further and further away from the broken man in front of me.

"No . I just need time. You need to work out what to do with Esmee and Tori and I can't be there to witness it. It's too painful to watch Christian. I'll be here when you're ready to face everything but right now I can't be a bystander in this betrayal. I just can't do this. I'm sorry Christian , really I am. Now please go home" and with that I turned on my heel and practically ran towards the large glass doors of the hospital. The second they slammed behind me I felt nurses run over to me in a panic as I felt the exhaustion I'd been keeping in finally take over , my body slipping to the ground as the darkness I'd become use to covered me like a blanket.

"Ana darling? Can you hear my petal?" my mom's soft voice brings me out of my restless slumber and I open my eyes to her smiling but concerned face , her sweet eyes are locked on mine as her hand reaches to hold mine tightly "Oh Ana , my sweet little girl what have you done to yourself?" I can't help but smile at my mother's cuteness.

I sit up and wince as I notice the bandage wrapped tightly around my bump. Pure panic hits me and I gasp , thankfully my mom calms me with a soft shake of the head "your baby is well Ana. Although your blood pressure has spiked dangerously causing the baby to go into massive distress, you need to be more careful my darling. You need to keep calm , everything you feel the baby feels" my eyes move to my bump and once again my eyes are full of tears. I did this to my baby , I caused the most precious thing in my life harm? How could I be so stupid!

"Can I go home mom?" she rests her hand over mine on my bump and shakes her head softly , leaning over me to wipe away a tear.

"Not yet my darling. Doctor Trevelyan-Grey and Doctor Greene want to keep you in for a few days to make sure there hasn't been any permanent damage to your baby. Those cramps you were experiencing were caused by your blood pressure Ana , not to mention the blackouts. You really need to remember your condition before letting your stress levels rise. It's not healthy to be this stressed when you're carrying a child" I nod softly as I take in everything she's saying , my mind racing as I remember all the stress I've had to endure recently. Esmee and Victoria coming out of nowhere. That was the first time I blacked out.

"Ah Ana your awake , how are you feeling dear?" I smile as Grace enters my small hospital room looking as beautiful and motherly as ever in light beige suit trousers and a pale pink blouse with her doctor's coat on over the top. It's impossible not to smile when Grace is around , she just has such a caring nature to her, that just eases any stress and tension a person may be feeling instantly.

"Still a bit weak but better" she smiles again and nods a polite hello to my mother before checking my chart at the bottom of my bed. I bite my lip as I brace myself to ask her a question that needs to be answered."Grace have you spoken to Christian at all?" she seems taken aback by my question and just stares between my mom and myself for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and putting my chart back in its holder.

"He called me yes , although he hung up very quickly. He sounded extremely upset about something" she looks up and meets my eyes "I'm guessing you know why" instantly I feel sick and I gesture for my mum to pass me a sick bag , she does and I vomit dramatically.

"Jesus Ana" Grace exclaims as she rushes out to grab another doctor as my mother pulls my hair away from my mouth as I continue to empty the contents of my stomach into the sick bag. Tears fill my eyes as I remember watching Christian stood in front of me as I walked away , his eyes so dead of emotion as if his entire soul had switched off from the inside. And yet he still had called his mother to make sure I was cared for properly . He still cares even when I run away. I fall back against the pillows as my vomiting stops and once again my eyes close and I fall into a deep sickness induced sleep.

Christians POV

Watching Ana walk away from me has got to be one of the most painful experiences I have ever had to endure. My whole existence is her and my baby , a baby she is carrying. To lose her because of my stupid arousal for a woman I haven't thought about for nearly 8 years makes me hate myself more than ever before. Once again my sickening past is fucking up my future. A future I so want to create with Ana. A women with whom I see myself as being happy with , a woman who I love with everything I am. She is my life and I've lost her! Again!

"Taylor!" I yell down the hallway as I enter the house. Suddenly I remember Ana's words the anger you have against Taylor is just your way of ignoring the anger you should have against yourself. You're the one in the wrong here Christian , not Taylor she's right , I am angry at myself. I'm fucking furious with myself! But I shouldn't take that out on Taylor , this isn't his fault, its mine!

"Yes Mr Grey?" he steps out of his office and I notice Mrs Jones poke her head around the door , her face is as white as a sheet and I know she's been worrying about Ana. God everyone's worried about Ana , she's been in so much pain recently , it can't be healthy for her to be blacking out so much. I smile a small smile at her and she wipes a tear away before going back into Taylor's office. Taylor stands at attention , obviously expecting me to shout at him for not driving fast enough earlier.

"I just want to apologise for my anger directed at you earlier on and just now. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that , you were driving perfectly safely and I shouldn't have told you to do otherwise. I'm sorry" I nodded awkwardly as Taylor nodded back at me , obviously not have expected me to say sorry. Is that really what people expect of me? To never apologise when I'm rude? Maybe being this powerful isn't always a good thing. Look at what I've lost because of it.

"Mr Grey?" I look up as Taylor speaks , running a hand through my hair as I do.

"Yes Jason?" Ana always said I should speak to Taylor as a friend as well as my employee and deep down I do trust this man with mine and my family's lives. I think that means he deserves to be called by his first name from time to time.

"Gail and I were wondering if you had heard anything about Mrs Grey's condition. Gail heard Mrs Grey complaining about abdominal cramps and worried about the baby" once again Gail's head pokes around Taylor's office door frame and I beckon her out into the hallway , smiling as she reaches for Taylor's hand. Instantly I wish Ana was here with me , I miss her so much it physically hurts.

"My mother is tending to her , she promised a full report as soon as Ana woke up" I check my watch "however that was a good half an hour ago so perhaps I should ring again , just to check everything's ok" I desperately try to keep my voice calm but the thought of Ana not waking up makes me die inside and I feel my voice catch. Thank fully Gail and Taylor choose to ignore my moment of weakness and instead smile at me before turning back to Taylor's office. Leaving me to make the dreaded phone call.

"Christian?" My mother's voice instantly calms me and I smile that she still makes me feel so safe after all these years.

"Mom , I'm calling about Ana. Has she woken up yet?" saying the words cuts me to the core and I have to sit down on the edge of the sofa to stop myself collapsing. Please God let her be ok , let her still be with me.

"No not yet my darling , she's weak Christian. The baby is in serious distress and its draining her dramatically" No! No not my baby! Not my precious unborn baby! I'm its father and I'm helpless to save it from this pain. I caused this! I caused my baby and my precious pain! How could I be so fucking idiotic to ever think I was becoming a good man! I'm a monster!

"Mom please help her! Please she's everything to me , my baby and her they are my life" tears rush down my cheeks as an image of my Ana lying lifeless on a hospital bed haunts my mind. I can't help her! I have no control and I am lost , so lost.

"I'm sorry my darling but there is nothing I can do. This is down to Ana , she just needs to keep fighting to keep herself awake. She's strong Christian , she will come through this but I can't do anything to speed up the process . I so wish I could my darling" I slam the phone down as I give into my sobs. My mom was my last hope of gaining control and even she can't help. It's down to Ana now , everything that has any meaning to me is now in the palm of the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have ever met. My Ana. Please let her and my baby be ok.