Hellooo everyone x

Wow can I firstly say how thrilled I am that this story has 101 followers! It is such an amazing feeling and I am thankful to every single one of you.

This chapter is a long one but I hope it's also enjoyable. I'm still working on my villain issue so if any of you have ideas on whom you would like to see be the bad guy please please please let me know as I really do love hearing what you all have to say.

I've also created a poll on the issue so please go vote on who you'd like to see be evil hehe

Once again I just want to stress that this is not a cheating story, but that doesn't mean people will always be honest hehe

All characters belong to E.L James, well apart from Esmeralda and Victoria who are mine.

Now on with the chapter

Alexandra xxxxx

"Ana! What the hell have to done to my bathroom?" I giggle as I hear Jose's voice from the bathroom and I know he's not impressed by my new decorations. Heaving myself out of the armchair I've been sitting in ,where I've been reading the latest manuscript Hannah has sent me to ensure I'm not too behind when I'm return to work after blips birth , I waddle over to the small bathroom.

I've been staying with Jose for nearly a week now and in all honesty it's been really good, of course there have been awkward moments here and there but that's normal. Overall it's been good to spend some time with Jose, it's weird but I feel like I've forgotten so much about him that every time he does or says something I find myself smiling ridiculously. His apartment is small but it's cosy and comfortable and I can't help but compare it to the grandeur and luxury of Escala. Here instead of having blinding white all over the place Jose has used a colour pallet of soft warm caramels and chocolate brown to create a real cosy home. It's wonderful to feel so at ease in every room, although there's only a 4 rooms, but still it's so cosy it's impossible not to feel relaxed all the time.

I enter the bathroom and instantly smile as I take in Jose's horrified expression as he reviews the bright pink toilet paper and fairy lights surrounding the mirror, not to mention the pink duckie that now resides on his bath shelf. He shakes his head in disbelief at me.

"What seems to be the problem Jose?" I giggle and lean against the doorframe. He just shakes his head again and holds his hands out to my pink masterpiece of a bathroom.

"Ana I know I said make yourself at home but I swear I can actually feel my manhood dying in this room. Please get rid of all this ... pink!" I giggle again and gently pat his shoulder, that's how small this bathroom is, I can literally reach him where ever I stand.

"Maybe you should start embracing your femininity" he gasps and shakes his head.

"Oh no I'm all man" I giggle again and roll my eyes , something I've been doing more and more since I've been away from Christian , strangely it feels weird to not be shouted at every time I do it.

"I know your all man Jose. I'm sorry I'll get rid of the pink , on one condition" his eyes meet mine and I can't help but smile at his obvious worry , jeeze you'd think I was asking him to commit a crime not let me decorate his precious apartment.

"I want to change the decking area" once again he shakes his head and moves towards the living room, which is bathed in light from the large glass door leading to the decked garden.

"Oh come on Jose, I need to thank you in some way for letting me stay here this long. Let me create the garden of your dreams for you, I have the money to do it" he opens the large glass door and steps out onto the decking, taking a deep breath, before turning to face me once more.

"It's his money Ana. And I don't want anything that's his in my home. Ever" I gulp and hesitantly follow him out, covering my eyes as the sun shines over me brightly.

"Jose please don't. I know you hate him but he's still my husband , and you know how much it hurts talking about him" he knows all too well considering he's been unable to get a good night's sleep for the last week as he's had to help me stop crying. The pain I feel without Christian cripples me every day, and yet I don't want to run back. Not yet anyway.

"I know Ana, I know. But see it from my point of view. He comes out of nowhere and suddenly your infatuated; to the extent you completely ignore me. I was here first Ana, and you choose him over me. I understand you love him but that doesn't mean I have to like him. So to answer your condition, the answer is no. You cannot change this decking, don't change anything" suddenly he stands "I have to go meet my publicist before the show tonight. Your still coming right?" I nod and he smiles "bye Ana, chin up Steel it's not all bad, you still got me" he kisses my hand and suddenly he's gone, leaving me in the beautiful Seattle sun in his empty decked garden.

I sit in the sun for what seems like hours, just staring into the living room through the open glass door, taking in the light brown couch and beige wood coffee table which is piled high with numerous girly magazines, the one thing Jose doesn't mind me leaving around the place. Those magazines give me an insight into his life, what functions he's attending, what newest project his company is investing in and most importantly whether or not he's told the public about his daughter. A daughter who one day will inherit his entire fortune, isn't that the first born child's destiny, to follow in their parents footsteps? What about the second child? What about my little blip? What's their destiny?

My phone pulls me from my thoughts and I glance at the caller ID, instantly ignoring it as I see his name. That's the 50th call this week. I never pick up. I'm too scared to talk to him, to worried as to what he'll say to me. What if I've driven him right into Esmee's arms? What if he wants a divorce! I wouldn't be able to handle that happening, which sounds stupid considering I'm the one who's run away, but I've only done this because he needs to work out this out on his own. I can't fight this battle with him, it hurts far too much to be there and watch her with him. I can't let myself witness that. However it still kills every time I see his picture and notice the sadness behind his fake smile, he's hurting without me. My phone beeps in my hand and as I expected he's emailed after the failed phone call, this being his 80th email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Talk to me

Date: March 21st 2011 17:35

To: Anastasia Grey

Ana my love please talk to me, I need you home. It's been so long and I'm finding it hard to cope without you here with me.

I know you're mad and you have all the right in the world to hate me right now but please I beg you to at least let me try and win you back.

I'll do whatever it takes Ana. I will never stop fighting for you. Not till the day I die.

Please come home.

Christian Grey

Depressed and alone CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc

Taking a deep breath I write my reply, something I haven't done to any of his other emails.

From: Anastasia grey

Subject: Talking hurts

Date: March 21st 2011 17:39

To: Christian Grey

Talking hurts to much right now Christian. I need to keep strong and this is the only way I know I will, you mess with my head and make me forgive when I'm just not ready.

Soon we will talk but right now I need my time. Let me heal. Please.

Have you told Grace about Tori yet? If she is really your daughter Christian she deserves to know her family. You can't go on pretending she doesn't exist.

Face your demons, fight this battle.

Then and only then will I come back.

This is the way it is.

Ana

Pressing send causes another rush of tears and I put my head in my hands as I feel my body wrack with despair. I miss him so much it's painful but I'll never get anywhere by being weak. He's put me through so much since we met that I don't even know where the old Anastasia Steel is. I'm a different person to the young clumsy girl that fell into his office all those months ago. I've seen things and experienced things which no one could ever understand and yet I'm suppose to carry on as if there is nothing wrong? But there is something wrong. I've married the love of my life but he's too much for me sometimes , I want the playful fifty , the shy fifty , the man who dances with me around his apartment and takes me on jet skies. But sometimes he's so closed off and secretive, his dark soul still has such a hold on him that he shuts down on me. I know it seems dramatic to act like this after him just having a dream, it's not like someone can control their dreams, and I understand that. But the dream was just my tipping point. It is everything; everything I've ever said I've been okay with is now something I need to seriously think about. I can't keep pretending that I understand him when all he does is mess with my brain with his words and his looks. I love him so much that my logic is thrown out the window. Only now that I am away can I see my life for what it is. A mess!

I wait for his reply but none comes. Good, this means he's at least respecting my wishes by leaving me alone. Annoyingly though I kinda wish he'd get at least a little bit annoyed, maybe I am changing him, but the big question is if I'm changing him for the better or worse? My phone beeps at me and I roll my eyes, expecting another email or text from my ever impatient husband. Although it's from Jose not Christian, thank god.

Hey Ana

Hope you're not sulking around the flat, its suppose to be a calming place not a depressing one J

Just wanted to let you know that the show starts at 7pm, and that I've arranged a cab to collect you at 6.30, hope that leaves you enough time to get ready.

Let me know if you need me, I'll be at the gallery if you get bored.

Love Jose x

I re-read the text and feel my lips smile, trust Jose to check up on me when he's only been gone for 20 minutes. Tonight is a huge show for him, hundreds of magazine editors and travel companies are coming to review his work as well as discuss freelance work with him, and yet he still takes the time to text me. It's such a small thing but it means the world to me.

Since Jose has moved to Seattle his photography career has rocketed and his photo's are becoming more and more popular among both commercial magazines and businesses looking to spice up their offices, tonight being the prime opportunity for him to get some permanent buyers.

At first I refused his offer to attend, I'm really showing in my pregnancy now and it's made me seriously self conscious around crowds, but Jose has insisted. Claiming I'm the only person whose praise he looks for, which is sweet but I know deep down he desperately wants to sign more professional buyers. He's also widening his range of photographs, which was mostly down to the success of his portraits of me at his previous show. He now specialises in both landscapes and portraits, mainly beautiful women, something Jose is more than happy to boast about when I tease him about still being single. I still remember the day I moved in and the bickering argument we had.

"So should I set myself up on the sofa?" I ask innocently as Jose opens the door to his ground floor apartment, the building is stunning but not intimidating like Escala, Jose stops dead in front of me and I bash into his front as he spins to face me.

"You really think I'd make a pregnant woman sleep on my couch? Ana I'm not that heartless. No you take the bed" he spins back and carries my bag through to his bedroom, located at the end of the apartment.

"Jose I can't ask that of you. This is your apartment after all" I walk in hesitantly and instantly smile at the soft caramel walls and soft wood flooring. Taking in the numerous sepia style photographs filling the far wall , a soft beige wood table and chairs set underneath a huge blown up print of the Seattle skyline , It looks like the view from Escala , its breathtaking.

"End of conversation Ana. You sleep in the bedroom" he wanders back in and puts his hands on his hips before gesturing to the apartment "so what do you think? Not bad for a college dropout hey?" he laughs and I feel myself blush , remembering my lecture at him in the hospital when he told me that he'd decided to leave his degree.

"It's lovely Jose, really homely and cosy. But really I'd prefer to sleep on the sofa. I mean what if you meet a lady friend and you want to bring her home, can't really do that if I'm in your bed now can you" I say with a giggle and he instantly laughs with me, raising his eyebrows in agreement. Although he stops laughing and looks at his fingers awkwardly, I stop giggling and soften my voice "Jose what's wrong?"

"I won't be bringing anyone back here Ana" I stay silent and he fidgets uncomfortably.

"You never know Jose, there's a special someone for everyone remember" he looks up and his dark eyes meet my light blue ones.

"I know but the thing is I've already met mine but she married someone else" I gasp and shake my head softly, looking down at the floor awkwardly.

"Jose we spoke about this" he just nods and runs a hand through his hair, my heart instantly drops as I remember Christian and the way he does the same thing.

"I know. Guess life's a bitch that way hey? Take the bedroom Ana, please" I nod my head and he walks past me, heading towards what I guess is the kitchen. I sigh deeply and make my way to the bedroom in silence.

Jose still brings up his comment about life being a bitch to him and nine times out of ten it has something to do with me being with Christian. I understand that he feels I picked the wrong man but in all honesty I didn't pick Christian, he picked me and I just couldn't stop myself falling helplessly in love with him. I never wanted any of this. God knows my life would be a hell of a lot simpler if I'd never met the elusive Mr Grey but then I wouldn't change anything about him or my life. Yes it's been drama filled and potentially life threatening at times but then the love I feel for that incredible man is so real and overwhelming that sometimes it's worth the hurt. However it's all well and good for me to think this but to actually live this life is another battleground all together, which is why I need this break, if not for our marriage to survive but to ensure I don't lose my mind. Make your bloody mind up Ana, one minute you want him to change and the next you're saying you wouldn't change a thing about him or your life! You should like a broken record! I swat my subconscious away and she just narrows her eyes at me over her glasses. She has a point though, which just makes me even more peeved off at her.

See this is what I mean; he messes with my head so much that I end up arguing with myself for hours on end only to give in and go on living in a delusional bubble of happiness. This time though I need to face my issues and demand a change, even if it means breaking his and my hearts in the process, I can't let myself turn a blind eye anymore. Stepping back into the apartment I wander over to the bedroom and start browsing my clothes for something appropriate to wear for the show, nothing looks good on me anymore. The best I can aim for is slightly overweight at best; otherwise I just look like a walking whale. It's so depressing.

By 6.15 I'm dressed in a sheer black lace dress with a soft belted waist, it covers my bump perfectly and has the ability to make me look young and chic and not huge and mismatched. Tying my long dark brunette hair into a soft undo, adding a black ribbon around the hair tie to ensure no stray tendrils fall out of place, my hair has a mind of its own and rarely does it behave itself. Slipping some white gold earrings in, a gift from Christian when he had to go to New York for a weekend, and slipping on some black flats, even though I wish I was still able to wear my heels but my ankles are beginning to swell and heels would kill me. I hear the cab beep its horn outside and quickly check my reflection once again , ensuring I look presentable , I am after all going to support my best friend and that means making sure I make him proud to be seen with me. I lock the front door behind me and slip into the passenger seat and check my phone for any emails or texts. My heart sinks when I am greeted by an empty inbox.

The warehouse turned exhibition hall is packed by the time I arrive, which I may add is only 10 minutes after the opening time. I smooth my dress down as I exit the cab and smile as I spot Jose standing just outside the large glass doors of the grey concrete building, his dark blue tux is slightly too big for him and I'm guessing its one of his dads old ones, but he stills as handsome as ever as he greets the guests with his natural charm, even going as far as kissing the ladies cheeks causing them to blush furiously. He looks up as I walk over and his face breaks into the warmest more genuine smile I've ever seen, he whispers something to the professional looking woman next to him before sprinting over to me.

"Ana you look absolutely stunning" I blush and suddenly I feel his lips against my cheek, his arm snaking around my waist as he does. Hesitantly I step back and gently shake my head, telling him he's a bit too friendly. He just sighs and rolls his eyes at me, a small smile crinkling his handsome face. "Fine I'll tone down the love sick puppy act a bit" I giggle and weave my arm through his, thanking him with my smile.

"Come on I want to show you off to these stuck up snobs , make them green with envy at my hot date" once again I shake my head at him , my heart sinks as his bright smile fades instantly.

"Jose I'm not your date, I'm here as your friend to support you. Remember?" he just nods and sighs deeply.

"Can't we pretend? Just for tonight? Please Ana, you look so good on my arm. Please let me dream the dream, just tonight" his eyes plead with me and pull at my heart strings, it's like he's looking directly into my soul and instantly I want to say yes. But I can't do that to Christian, ok so he'd never know if I did but I'd know and that's just as bad. How can I get this angry at him for dreaming about Esmee when I'm here pretending to be his enemy's girlfriend? It's not right and I refuse to do it.

"No Jose, we can't. I'm sorry. Now come on show me your work before it all gets sold" I squeeze his arm, praying he'll drop this fake date idea and move on. Thankfully he just shrugs and takes me into the huge expedition hall. It's full to the brim with his photo's, and people. Professional looking expensively dressed people who are all gazing at Jose's photographs with pure appreciation and wonder. And why shouldn't they be impressed? Jose is insanely talented. Photos of Seattle fill one side of the room, every single one is more amazing than the other and they literally take my breath away with their beauty. Seattle is a beautiful city full stop but through Jose's camera lens it has become precious in its beauty, as if it's unworldly and somehow a brand new world.

"Oh Jose, they are beautiful. Completely and utterly breathtaking" I literally cannot take my eyes off the various prints that fill this enormous space.

"I could say the same for you Ana" I glance over to him and his eyes burn into mine , his breath catches and I have to pull myself away from him "Ana please don't say no anymore. Please" no, not now. Not when I need him in my life more than ever before, I need my friend but he wants more and I cannot give it to him.

"Jose we spoke about this! I've said no" I keep my voice low but make sure I exaggerate my exasperation. I am sick and tired of having this conversation with him. He knows I'm married for god sake!

"You'll come around Ana, one day. But how long I can wait is another matter entirely" What? I'll never come round to him, never! What the hell is going through his head?

"Jose I..." He cuts me off with a raised hand and I clamp my mouth shut. Never has he silenced me like that before.

"I mean it Ana, you will come around and when you do I promise I'll never ever hurt you. Unlike that husband of yours that is. Where is he tonight by the way? Heard from him at all?" I shake my head and he smirks "he's moved on Ana , maybe you should do the same" and before I can protest he leans forward to kiss my cheek and moves away from me , leaving me in the middle of the hall alone.

What the hell is he talking about! How does he know Christian's moved on? How can Christian move on? We're still married! Has he got with Esmee? Does Jose know more than I do? But what about Christian's email? He said he wanted me home! Oh how I wish I could talk to him.

"Ana?" you have got to be kidding me! Wait maybe I have a new power, wish for something and it happens, either that or I am the unluckiest woman alive right now. Spinning round I stare into his grey eyes and against my will all I want to do is run to him and never ever let go. I don't and instead I cross my arms and stare back.

"Seriously Christian your stalker tendencies are getting ridiculous now! Can you not take the hint that I don't want to talk to you!" I shout as loud as I can without causing a scene but his eyes still search the hall to ensure no one is staring. No point as everyone is transfixed by the beautiful photo's surrounding us. His eyes meet mine suddenly and I'm taken aback by the anger in them, what the hell's pissed him off so much?

"What the hell are you talking about you fucking invited me" WHAT! This has got to be some sort of joke!

"I did nothing of the sort!" Hmm that came out a bit too posh and loud. Shaking out my shoulders I walk past him and ordering him to follow with my hand, thankfully he follows without an argument. We walk towards the entrance and slip into an enclosed area just behind the entrance pillars that hold up the concrete ceiling. I check to make sure no one can see us before turning my dagger eyes on my husband.

"What on earth makes you think I'd want to spend an entire evening with you, especially after I've just found out that you've supposedly already moved on from our marriage? You really are sick sometimes Christian Grey" his grey eyes are sparkling with anger and he reaches into his tux pocket and produces a soft grey piece of paper , it's the invite Jose's team created for tonight's event!

"This was stuck to the gates of our house Anastasia. It's addressed to me from you!" I grab the paper and my name stares back at me, alongside his name and the information for tonight's exhibition. Shit he's telling the truth! Who the hell sent this to him, as well as pretending to be me!

"Christian I swear to you I didn't send this to you. I've been at Jose's all day" I ignore his hiss of breath at Jose's name and carry on "this invite is a fake"

"Well then if you didn't invite me. Who did?"