Sam wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do. Seeing her again after a year, and when so much had happened since he last saw her, was more than just a shock. Alyssa was someone from a life he'd temporarily adopted and then had to abandon when Jess died. He couldn't say he regretted it, because he both missed it and longed for it again. He did however miss Alyssa, and he regretted being unable to keep in contact with her. What had led her to the Roadhouse of all places was a very good question. She shouldn't know a thing about hunting monsters or ghosts or whatever else. She was just a regular person. But then again, so was he. He had probably seemed just the same to her, so normal, because that was who he wanted to be and that was how he had presented himself. It wasn't easy to be normal, and sure sometimes he had that habit he couldn't kick about salting windows and doors but he did his best. And as far as Jess was concerned, they were just that. Quirks.

It was easier to pass off as being normal than he would have liked, but easy was good sometimes. Alyssa knew about his quirk, there was no way she couldn't have because she and Jess were best friends. And best friends talked about that sort of stuff. If Alyssa knew about his quirks and she knew about the supernatural too, then she would have been able to draw the proper conclusion. But since she had never brought anything like that up with him, it had to be safe to assume that Alyssa didn't really know what was going on. Until after. She was the first person he'd lost contact with. His other friends had been easier to communicate with, but those first few days away from Stanford had left him out of contact with her. It was strange, to think back on it, that right after he left he had lost contact with her. But it was plausible too, that she could have been mad at him. Hell, he deserved it. She had been his best friend, but she was Jess's too. And there was no excuse for not keeping in touch with her, especially considering how badly she probably wanted to talk to him.

Brady certainly wasn't the best person to have that sort of conversation with. Alyssa had been dating Brady for what felt like forever, but probably wasn't more than a year. Nowhere near as long as he and Jess had been together, but since high school Brady had been trying (and failing) to make the moves on Alyssa Jones. Up until their second year at Stanford. She wasn't exactly anyone exceptional; a rather quiet, but warm individual who spent almost as much time studying as Sam did. It was always nice to spend time with her. And aside from Jess, he probably missed Alyssa the most. Brady had been his best friend, but since he and Alyssa broke up things had been a little rocky between them and Sam was kind of glad he hadn't heard back from the guy. It was much nicer to see Alyssa. Even if she was pissed at him. But what had she meant that sorry could never cut it?

Had the yellow-eyed-demon gone after her too, once Sam left? But she wasn't anyone significant in his life. His best friend, sure, but she wasn't his girlfriend. And he was not in love with her. So what led her here, of all places? He returned to Dean and the Impala, climbing into the front seat and grabbing his laptop. He would have asked Ellen, but he was pretty sure that she was in full-on mom mode and he wouldn't get any worthwhile information from her. Besides, she was still mad enough over the whole episode with taking Jo on a hunt with them. Not their brightest idea, but thankfully Ellen had decided to forgive them. Or at least not hold it directly against them. Because they needed her help and Ash's more than either he or his brother would like to admit. Sure they could have managed well enough on their own but team work made things easier. It meant faster results while still being able to spend the appropriate time working on cases and saving people. Sam frowned to himself; how could he save Alyssa? She belonged back at Stanford far more than he did. Stanford was safe and it was where she belonged.

"Well is she alive?" Dean asked, pulling out of the parking spot.

Sam scowled, "What?"

"Well you didn't crush her right? I saw her run off –after you tackled her."

Sam cringed. "Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean retorted. "So did you get a new girlfriend?"

"She's a friend from Stanford," he bit out.

Dean glanced at him, "What the hell's she doing at the Roadhouse then?"

"That's what I want to know," he watched the scenery pass, more focused on the whirling thoughts in his head.

"And?"

"We're not exactly on the best of terms, Dean. I haven't talked to her since I left Stanford."

There was a brief silence as the Impala rumbled along down the road. "Do you want to stick around, figure out what's going on with her?"

Sam considered it for a moment. It would take time to figure out what was going on with her, especially considering how she seemed so reluctant to share any information with him. "No," he replied finally. "I mean it would be great, but I think she'll need some time to think things through."

Dean nodded, pulling out onto the highway and past a motel. He flicked the cassette on, eyes on the road as Metallica blasted through the small space. Sam shifted, finding a more comfortable position.

Chapter Two, Dirty Little Secrets

Alyssa was washing dishes in the back when the small bell rang and she glanced up to see Sam entering the saloon. She frowned. It had been several weeks since she last saw him and she'd been hopeful that he wasn't going to come back. It was irrational and highly unlikely, and her hopes were dashed. If she thought that avoidance was possible, she would have avoided him but she knew that Ellen was in the back and Ash had disappeared into his room and wouldn't be out for awhile. She dried her hands off quickly, reluctantly moving out to the front.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked flatly, avoiding eye contact as she moved to the bar. Hunters were always ordering alcohol.

"Just a beer," Sam said awkwardly, looking around. Probably for Ellen or Ash. It was good to have something to occupy her mind, however briefly as she poured him his drink and slid it over. "Is Ellen or Ash around?"

"Not right now."

Sam looked down at his glass of beer, taking a drink from it. Alyssa could remember when they were both finally old enough to go for their first drinks, a bittersweet smile played across her lips. She turned away before Sam could see it or even remark upon it because that was the last thing she needed right now.

"When… will they be back?" Sam inquired awkwardly.

Alyssa looked over the counter as she saw Ellen reenter and the older woman flashed Sam a smile. "Back already?"

"Yeah, I need some help."

Sam flashed her a dimpled smile and Ellen left to go and get Ash. It was something Alyssa was more hesitant to do, mostly because it was uncomfortable to find Ash naked and his bed rumpled. There was very little that could be any more uncomfortable than that, except for if the woman happened to answer instead. Alyssa put a clean glass away, grabbing a damp one as she started to dry it. She kept her attention focused on the dishes that she was drying, intentionally ignoring Sam. Ignoring him however was just as detrimental because she became acutely aware of him, his eyes following her every move and she knew that if she looked back he would have that hurt puppy expression and a burning curiosity in his eyes. She refused to turn around, to so much as even glance at him or speak to him as she moved onto another dish.

Ellen huffed impatiently as she took the spot next to Alyssa, working on drying the dishes as well. "Ash'll be out in a minute." Unfortunately with Ellen's presence now added, it made washing the dishes go much faster and left Alyssa with nothing to do. The Roadhouse was pretty quiet in the day, and usually plenty more active at night but there were days where it was almost empty.

It wasn't long after that Ash was coming out from the back as well, a cocky smile on his lips as he took a seat next to Sam. "Well, what can I do for you Sam?"

Sam paused, turning to look at Alyssa. Her scowl fell short when she saw the hesitance and distrust that was there and she tossed the dish towel down, fully intending to give him the privacy he was asking for. Ellen reached out, effectively blocking the way that Alyssa had been intending to go.

"I trust her as much as I trust you and your brother," she said firmly.

Alyssa looked at the older woman in surprise. She knew that over the last while she had been at the Roadhouse that Ellen had begun to trust her, but she hadn't expected her to say anything like that. Let alone to Sam. Who didn't have any reason to distrust her! She had every reason to not trust him, but why couldn't he trust her? Probably because it had been a year and also because despite everything this was a part of the other's world that neither knew about. She had only recently learned who his father was and that he had raised Sam and his brother Dean in this lifestyle.

"I don't have to stick around." It was true. And although she was furious with Sam, sharing his personal information was his own business to decide. Not Ellen's and not anyone else's.

"You… might as well," he seemed to say that with great difficulty. "I mean, with the amount of time Dean and I end up spending here…"

Alyssa nodded and stepped back, agreeing to stay. "What can I do to help ya Sam?" Ash inquired.

"I need to know about other people –psychics, like me." Sam shot Alyssa a concerned look, as though expecting her to protest or argue with him but she kept silent. "I need a nationwide search, starting with the nursery fires."

It wasn't really that much of a surprise. The last time they'd gone out drinking and Sam had gotten wasted, he had mentioned something about this dream of his, where Jess was pinned to the ceiling and lit on fire. Alyssa knew enough to know that Jess had died in that fire and while she was on the road, she figured out that whatever it was that had killed Jess wasn't normal either.

"I thought not all of them had a nursery fire like you did," Ellen interjected.

"Well no, but some had to. Might as well start there."

Ash nodded, "Well, I'll be back with results," he got up and returned to the back.

Ellen headed off to the back with a quick excuse, leaving Alyssa and Sam alone in the near-empty saloon. Sam glanced away from his glass of beer to look at Alyssa. For once she didn't look away from him, wondering what he was going to say to her.

"You don't seem that surprised," he offered, finally.

"You were pretty drunk when you told me about your nightmares. I thought it was just… drunk Sam, blabbing as usual," she sighed. "And then she died and I kind of figured a couple of things out."

"Like what?"

Alyssa shot him a patronizing glance. "Like the whole monsters are real spiel." And boy, if she hadn't learned that the hard way. "And if you're wondering Sam, no, I didn't know anything about it until after you left."

Sam shifted, glancing around the bar. There were a few hunters playing pool, a low murmur of conversation traded between the two men. He turned back to her, his green eyes focused on her. "Please, just talk to me. We used to be friends, can't we… can't we try again?"

"Last time there was no trying involved Sam," Alyssa sighed. She had to remind herself that just because he was back, didn't mean that she had forgiven him. "Tell me about what you're doing here, what's going on with you?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," he admitted, taking a drink from his beer.

Ash came out from the back, "Got the results," he sat down beside Sam. "One Sam Winchester," he nodded at Sam, "an Andrew Gallagher, Max Miller and, uh, Scott Carey."

"You got an address?" Sam asked, sitting up.

"Kind of. The Arbor Hill cemetery in Lafayette, Indiana. Plot four eighty-six. He was killed, about a month ago."

"Killed how?" Sam pressed.

"Stabbed in a parking lot. Fuzz don't have much, no suspects."

"All right, thanks," he stood up.

For a moment, his eyes met Alyssa's and then he was headed towards the door with hardly a goodbye. A frown creased her brow, and from her peripheral vision she saw Ash reach for the rest of Sam's beer. She smacked his hand away and he shot her a hurt look as she moved it away and dumped the contents out. By the time she looked back up, Sam was already gone and Ellen stood there with a troubled expression. For just a moment, Alyssa let herself remember a time before her world came crashing down. And for that moment, she let herself hope that she would see Sam again.