Ch. 4

AN: I said stop flaming, ok? Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue, ok? Draco is so in love with her that he's acting different! They knew each other before, ok?

She doesn't know what a Mary Sue is? She practically invented them! Speaking of Mary Sue's, a nifty project would be to attempt to find the very first Mary Sue. It's probably extremely difficult, but it would be neat to know. I suggest starting your search in medieval literature.

"Draco!" I shouted, "What the ****do you think you're doing?"

Do you need to shout! He's sitting right beside you!

Draco didn't answer. Instead he stopped the flying car and got out. I walked out of it too, because I was curious.

"What the ****ing ****?" I asked angrily.

She swears more than I do! Give her a medal!

"Ebony." Draco said.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in close and I looked into his Gothic red eyes (he was wearing coloured contacts). His eyes revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness. I didn't feel so mad anymore.

Again, did his eyes have an aversion to activity, or did they make you feel an aversion to activity! I will give a quote here, because I have said this far too many times. '"You keep using that word!" the Spaniard snapped. "I don't think it means what you think it does!" '– Inigo from 'The Princess Bride'

Is evilness a word anyways?

*And then … … … … just as I Draco kissed me passionately.*

Just as you what? What's going on? Why four ellipses! Four! STOP ELLIPSING! Look what you made me do Tara! You made me use caps-lock. I never use caps-lock! Never!

*Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.*

Ok, are you on the ground with him lying on top of you, or are you standing while he attempts to press you into a tree? You can't do both.

He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra!

I thought that he was taking off your clothes. If he does that, then why doesn't he take off your bra?

*Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.*

I'm sorry, that was too funny to edit. Is Tara three? There are better ways to say that they had sex. You could even gloss over it and have a morning after thing. You could say something poetic like, "We let our passion, lust, and love for each other swell and merge in the welcome cloak of the night. Afterwards, I lay in his arms feeling content. Everything felt so prefect that I hoped that this moment, this feeling, would never end." Isn't that nicer? No details, romantic, sappy, sweet, and short.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed as a whole new feeling, warm, soft, and fiery hot, welled up in my stomach.

(See what I mean? Much better than "I started to orgasm." Sue me, I'm a romantic.)

As we kissed each other passionately my pale body became all warm.

"What the **** are you doing you mother****ers!"

It was Dumbledore!

Why is he in the woods? Why is he swearing at his students?

Edited out: 12 ellipses between 'was' and 'Dumbledore'.