Chapter 40:

This Could Kill Me

"Wait, so you're saying that you've been pretending to be dead for all this time? What the hell, Jason?!" Spencer asked, angrily batting her hands on her brother's arm. Jason jerked away and let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips.

Toby, looking heavily burdened with sleep, leaned against his forearms on the counter and bowed his head. "Spencer – "

"No! I have the right to be angry, Toby! I just gave his damn eulogy after all! For God's sake, I quoted A Tale of Two Cities and had to pinch the inside of my wrist to keep from crying!" She turned back to Jason, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her eyes narrowed and glaring.

"Just let him talk, Spence." Toby said softly. He reached out to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but upon seeing her expression, faltered and dropped it.

The room was silent for a moment and Spencer took a long, frustrated breath. "Fine." She said, taking a step closer to Jason. "Talk."

Now it was Jason's turn to take a breath or two. He got up from his seat on the barstool, paced back and forth once, while cracking his knuckles, and then took his seat once more. "Do you know how the fire actually started, Spencer?"

Her eyes dropped to her feet. "I thought the curtains caught fire."

Jason nodded. "They caught fire from an old joint I had."

Spencer's eyes shot up to Jason's. "So what the police said was true, then? You were still abusing drugs? Even if it wasn't what 'killed' you?"

Jason let out a sigh and his lips formed a thin line. He nodded.

Spencer snorted. "Wow." She said, "I can't believe this. And all that talk you had about changing and growing, that was all bull, then, huh?"

"I did want to change. But you have no idea how hard this has been for me."

"Hard for you?! Are you kidding me?!" Spencer shrieked, finally snapping. "This past year has been hell for me, Jason! I've been dealing with Melissa, Taylor, Wren, Hanna, getting assaulted in an alleyway, being in a coma, trying to cope with your death!"

"Easy, Spence." Toby grasped her upper arms as she made a threatening move towards Jason, her fists posed to hit.

"What did you think you were going to do?! Just disappear without saying goodbye?"

"I wanted to say goodbye but when I saw that guy on the side of the road after the lightning storm…I knew I had to act fast if I wanted a quick getaway."

"We buried a body under your name, Jason! Some dead guy that we don't even know is rotting in a coffin underneath a gravestone with your name on it. His family is never going to get the closure they deserve!"

"I know him, Spence. His name was Riley Parker; I used to work for him. He was the most miserable soul I've ever met. No family, no friends, not even a cat to call his companion." Jason tried to reason.

Still practically frothing at the mouth, Spencer demanded, "And how did you know it was him?"

"The same way the police thought it was me; his ID. I took his wallet and replaced it with my own. The body was too marred for anyone to know the difference."

Spencer shook her head. "How could you let me believe that you were dead?" She asked, her voice now barely a whisper.

"It's complicated, Spencer. Very, very complicated. I've lost everything, and the last thing I wanted was to take you down with me."

"Were you planning on coming back all along?"

"No. Truthfully, I wasn't. I wanted you to get closure with this, like everyone else eventually would."

"Then why did you show up here in the first place?"

"It sounds…crazy, but…I was planning on assuming a new identity. I was on my way to the courthouse in Boston to make everything official. I was planning to go to my parents' summer home on Bramble, Cape Cod. But then, I realized that you still had the key to it, from when you used it for your Aunt Melanie's baby shower. I thought that the only way to get it would be to sneak in."

"You seriously couldn't have waited until we were out of the apartment?" She asked, as if she was M and he was agent double-O-seven. Really, Bond, what kind of a spy are you?

"I didn't know when you would be out, and I was crunched for time. You always used to be a deep sleeper, I thought." Jason replied.

"Since when?!" Spencer snorted.

Jason shook his head, "Look, I don't know where to go from here; I don't want people to find out I'm alive until I figure out a plan."

"So where are you going to go?" Spencer asked, arching an eyebrow.

He looked at her expectantly.

"What? Oh, no. No, no, no. You are not staying here!" She answered, waving her arms frantically.

"Please? I have no where else safe to go!"

"This isn't Nazi Germany, Jason, I'm not too keen on smuggling fugitive Jews in my house. Besides, I don't think I've been more angry at anyone than I am at you right now; why would I want you under the same roof as me?!"

"Because he's your brother." Toby spoke up from behind her. She whirled around, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. Toby met her gaze evenly, shrugging.

"You're taking his side?"

"I'm just saying, I've been there. There are some times in your life where you think being thought of as dead would just be easier." Toby answered.

At that, Spencer paused. It was true; her Toby had been in worse predicaments than either of them. As angry as she was, she understood Toby's words, and his omnipresent compassion.

"Fine." She said angrily, "You can stay. But don't think that this changes anything!" She pointed her index finger at her brother, "I'm still furious and not quick to forgive!"

Jason chuckled, "I know, Spence. I know. Thank you."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. Goodnight to both of you." Spencer crossed her arms tightly over her chest and stormed out, heading back into her and Toby's room.

Jason laughed lightly and Toby joined in, "You can take the guest room." He told him, nodding over his shoulder.

"Thanks." Jason nodded to him. "Hey, uh, do you think she'll ever come around?"

"Knowing Spencer? Hmm, not a chance." Toby joked, and Jason laughed along with him.

"Emily, trust me, you look amazing." Hanna told her worrisome best friend as the raven-haired goddess examined herself in the store mirror.

"I don't know…does the color make my skin look green?" Emily asked, turning slightly to view herself in a different angle. She was sporting a floor-length gold gown, with a halter-top and gold rhinestones studding the sleek skirt.

"Absolutely not!" Hanna replied, taking a sip from her coffee. She sat perched on the little red vanity chair beside the mirror, her heel-clad feet crossed at the ankles.

"You're in a chipper mood today," Emily observed, one of her perfect eyebrows puckering. "Could it have anything to do with the little shaggy dog that rolled into town?"

Hanna bit her lip, smiling softly. "Maybe. How did you know he was back?"

"I saw him leaving the coffee shop this morning, and I figured the second coffee in his hand was for you." Emily fidgeted with the strap of her gown and nodded to the coffee in Hanna's hand.

"Why didn't you say hello?"

"Well I wasn't sure of anything yet; I didn't want to make things more awkward than they already were."

"Well, he's back for good, which makes me very happy." Hanna admitted.

"And Will? How is he taking it?"

Hanna faltered, her eyes dropping to her lap.

"Oh, God. You haven't told him, have you?"

"It just happened last night, Emily!" Hanna answered.

"You need to tell him, you know. He's a good guy; he deserves the truth."

"I know, I know he does. I just…don't want to be the one that has to hurt him." Hanna replied, fiddling with the cap of her drink.

"Look, he'll respect you a whole lot more if you're honest and he doesn't have to hear it from someone else." Emily said. "Alright, so am I buying this?"

"Absolutely." Hanna smiled, raising her coffee cup. "What's it for, anyway? I just got excited by the idea of shopping so I didn't even bother to listen." She admitted.

"Samara's sister's wedding. It's extremely fancy and of course, over the top. If Samara's family had anything to do with it, that is."

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?" Hanna asked, furrowing her brows.

"No, no, I just…" Emily sighed, dropping into the vacant vanity chair across from Hanna. She proceeded to pull off her sparkling gold stilettos and rub the arch of her foot. "I'm worried about being with her family. They're all so creative and artistic and I'm so…bleh."

"Emily. Listen to me: you are not 'bleh.' You're just as much of a fun, creative soul as they are. You just express yourself differently. If Samara didn't see that in you, then she wouldn't date you."

Emily smiled, "You think so?"

"I know so. Now come on; get changed, there's a sale at Bloomie's."

"Will do." Emily stepped back into her dressing room.

"I'm going to go look at the boots up front!" Hanna told her, and sauntered through the dressing room towards the front window of the store.

When her eyes roved over to the store window, she stopped dead in her tracks and almost dropped her coffee.

Oh, no. What was Will doing by the boutiques at this time of the morning? Was he going to come in? Would he see her? Instinctively, she followed the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' method and closed her eyes. Quickly realizing the fault in that plan, she maneuvered back to the dressing room, opening the door of Emily's room and hurrying inside.

"Ow, Hanna, what the hell?!" Emily asked, clutching her t-shirt to her chest as Hanna smacked straight into her.

"Shh! Be quiet!" Hanna put a finger to her lips and crouched low.

"What is going on?" Emily asked, crouching with her.

"I just was Will outside!" Hanna whisper-yelled.

"Did he come in?"

"No."

"Did he see you?"

"No."

"Then why the hell are we being quiet?!"

"He can't know I'm here! Not until I find out what I'm going to say to him!"
"And hiding in my dressing room with me half-naked was the only way you could escape?" Emily asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"I panicked, okay!"

"Yeah, too much! Look Han, whatever happens happens. Even if you are thrown into a situation like this again, speaking from your heart will always be the best thing to do. You have to be honest with him. A guy like Will will appreciate that."

Hanna sighed. "You're right…you're right. I'll just have to be honest with him."

"Good. Now will you please get the hell out so I can change?!"

"I still can't believe you let him stay here." Spencer said frostily as Toby stepped out onto their terrace and sat down on the wicker sofa beside her. He handed her a mug of tea.

"What, no coffee?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Uh, we're out."

"Liar. You know I have a secret stash underneath your floorboards."

"Alright fine. It's decaffeinated tea because you've been even shakier than usual lately."

"Yeah because there's a legally dead man sleeping in our guest room." Spencer snorted. "If I have one more zombie nightmare about him, he's outta here."

"Maybe you should stop watching The Walking Dead after ten." Toby suggested with a slight shrug.

Spencer gave him the stink eye before taking another sip of her tea. Her slipper-clad feet were tucked under her, and she was wearing one of Toby's old t-shirts over a pair of flannel pajama pants, along with a silk bathrobe.

"This is all wrong, you know. We shouldn't be helping him hide from his problems."

"We're not." Toby answered. He put an arm gently around her shoulders. "We're giving him a chance to collect himself and figure out a plan."

Spencer sighed and looked out into the night. She set down her tea on the side table next to her and got to her feet, nearing the railing. Leaning over it, she examined the city; all of Rosewood was asleep and at peace. Everyone had probably already forgotten the story of poor Jason DiLaurentis. They would all console the broken-hearted sister, Spencer Hastings, if they ever encountered her on the street. They'd pretend to be saddened by her obvious loss, but they would just go home and thank the good Lord that it wasn't their own lives being tampered with. And if anything wrong were to come upon them, they would curse that same good Lord that they had once thanked. Fickle, fickle people. Fickle, fickle town. Fickle, fickle earth.

"It's madness, you know. All of this. This man who is faking being dead, eating our food, drinking our coffee, and sleeping in our bed. It's like undead Goldi-Locks without the decency to keep herself a secret."

"Maybe it's time the bears put their guard down and lent a hand to him instead." Toby replied softly. "Trust me, Spencer. I've been exactly where he is right now. It's not fun. In fact, it's awful. You know that no one will believe anything you say, not even if it's the absolute truth."

Spencer sighed and softened, peering over the edge of the rail. "I know. I understand you. I'm just…in the process of forgiving him. I'm working on it. Sadly, I'm not as forgiving as you are."

"Yes you are. You're just angry because he tricked you. You're angry because you had already started to have closure and now everything is a mess again. It's okay to feel betrayed, Spencer."

She sighed again and turned back to him, sliding back onto the seat beside him. He looped his arms around her middle and pulled her against his chest. She kicked her feet up and leaned against him, closing her eyes and drifting away to the soft sound of Toby's humming in her ear.

I'm so sorry this has taken a billion years to get up! School has been drilling me and i've had some friend issues recently, but thats no excuse. I promise to be punctual next time, my sweets! :)

-AJ