Chapter 16

Hello everyone :) and a happy new year to you all x

I know it has been a stupidly long time since I last updated and in all honestly there is no excuse except I am seriously swamped with my university coursework. Currently I am behind on four essays and still have two scripts to read over before next Monday but I just couldn't start the new year without giving you all a little insight into my future plot line hehe

Hopefully I will have updated at least twice before Monday comes around but no promises can be made as I do have to work on my essays but I will try my very best to give you all more.

Anyways I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and I wish you the best 2013!

Alexandra xx

p.s I'm thinking of starting a twitter account , would anyone be interested? Let me know xxx

Tori's POV

"Mommy?" The room's too dark, I don't like the dark. Where's my Barbie night lights, it makes my bedroom pink, pink's my favourite colour. It smells in here as well, it smells like mommy's sweaty gym clothes when she gets back from her run , it's really gross and I have to crinkle my nose against it. I wish mommy would spray her fruity perfume, the one that comes in the small pink bottle with the gold writing on the side, it reminds me of her and it makes me feel safe.

I don't feel safe right now, not in this room.

Where's my mommy? Is she playing hide and seek with me?

"Mommy? I don't want to play hide and seek anymore" hide and seek is mine and mommy's favourite game, well its mine, mommy says she likes it but deep down I know she'd rather play dress-up with me. But that's only because she never wins, until now that is.

Something's not right, I can feel it, my skin feels tight on my cheeks from tears but I don't remember crying. When was I crying? Why was I crying?

Mommy cries a lot at the moment, especially when she speaks of Grandma and Grandpa, they disowned her when I was born. Mommy says she's happy, says she picked me over them because she loved me more. Perhaps mommy doesn't love me anymore, after all she did seem very mad when she was getting ready for parents night. I know how much she hates going to parent's night, mostly because it's just her whereas all my school friends have daddy's who go to parent's night as well. My daddy doesn't even know me. Maybe that's where my mommy is, trying to find my daddy, the Mr Christian man who owns the big house , I guess Mr Christian doesn't want to know me , after all I was rude , but then I'm always rude.

Mommy says it's because I'm insecure, but I don't know what that means , Dr Michael says I use my sarcasm as a defence mechanism and that the emotions I really feel I refuse to show anyone because I'm scared I'll get rejected. I just think he looks funny with his big round glasses and bald head, a bit like Mr Potato Head in Toy Story. But when I told him and Mommy this I got told off and Dr Michael started writing things down in his notebook.

Mommy cried herself to sleep that night.

A loud bang comes from upstairs, as if something heavy has been dropped, the noise echo's through the darkness, making me cover my ears. Loud noises are like the dark, they scare me. No one but mommy knows about my fears, they are my secrets. Being scared makes you weak and I hate being weak, weakness makes people more likely to hurt you. I refuse to be hurt.

More banging fills the darkness of my room, but it's not just any banging anymore, it sounds like footsteps. Loud, mean footsteps, but not from big boots or sneakers, no they sound like high heels, click-clacking on hard wood flooring. Mommy wears heels all the time, I tired walking in them once but I fell and hurt my ankle. Mommy says I'll learn to walk in them when I'm older, but I only want to wear them because they make people taller and being small makes me feel weak. A feeling I'm more scared of then the dark or loud noises.

Bright light fills the room abruptly and I cower away , it's too bright for my eyes after so much darkness. Then I see her , the woman from the door , the one who made Mommy scared. Who's now making me scared. I can't show her my fear, my fear is my weakness , she cannot know my weakness. No one can ever know. Only Mommy can know.

"Victoria Louisa Gold. Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful little girl" I can't see her face but I can imagine the evil look she must be giving me , her tone is harsh , not sing song soft like Mommy's. Mommy's voice is kind and sweet, even when she's angry. This mean woman has nothing kind or sweet about her , she's like the evil queen from Snow White. She's beautiful but horrible all at once.

"Where's my Mommy! I want my Mommy!" my voice is still strong , ever since Hannah Bird at school started bullying me because I had no Dad I've taught my voice to stay strong , no matter how scared I am I will never show my emotions to people.

"She's gone Victoria. She doesn't want you anymore" What? That can't be true. Mommy loves me , she's always telling me how important and special I am to her. She'd never leave me , never ever.

"That's a lie. My Mommy loves me! Now tell me where she is. I want to go to my parents evening" I shout at her with all my strength. She steps back slightly and I think she's going to give in and tell me where Mommy is. Then I see her hand stretching behind her , the bright light behind her is covered by her hand slightly and I get a glimpse of her small face, pure anger and disgust is all I see in her dark brown eyes , then her hand moves swiftly through the air.

Then I feel pain , lots and lots of pain. Before feeling nothing and seeing darkness once more.

Esmeralda's POV

My head is banging furiously and my vision is still extremely blurred, it feels like I've down three bottles of high quality tequila only to endure a fight with a walrus.

"Tori!" I try to stand but my head is spinning and I lose my balance, hitting the floor face first.

"Tori where are you?" I call out again and still get nothing in return, where is she? This isn't like her; the house is far too quiet for her to be here. What were we supposed to be doing tonight?

"Tori! Come here now!" I try once more to stand and thankfully get my vision back to some normality. Why the hell does my head hurt so much? Did I go out drinking last night?

I wander into my bedroom , wondering if Tori is playing in my wardrobe like she usually does when I'm out of the room , and notice my reflection. I'm dressed up, very dressed up, in a brand new black figure hugging dress. Why am I wearing this? I only wear this kind of thing when I'm trying to look good for something. Why would I be trying to look good?

I slip my heels off and rub the back of my head, the pain is the worse there and I can feel an almighty big bump emerging, perhaps I hit my head and that caused me to blackout. But the thing is I don't remember blacking out. I don't remember anything.

I move back into the hall and spot my phone lying on the floor; the contacts book is open on Taylor's number. Why would I ring Taylor? Unless I wanted to contact Christian, wait Christian! Shit maybe Tori's gone looking for Christian; he is her father after all.

Father … fuck tonight's her parents evening! Shit we're going to be so late!

"Victoria Louisa Gold will you stop playing hide and seek and get ready! We have to be at your school for parents evening" I rush into my bedroom and quickly apply some more make up before slipping my heels back on as quickly as I can.

Christian should be coming tonight, Tori is his daughter. He should be there showing everyone that she is loved by both her parents, maybe then the bullies would leave her alone. She may act brave and uncaring but I hear her crying when she comes home, they hurt her so much and yet she never lets them know. She makes me so proud sometimes but it breaks my heart that she's taught herself to hide her emotions so well, she's like Christian in so many ways it's scary. He needs to accept her because I just don't think she will be able to get through it if her own father rejects her.

I reach for my phone just as it starts ringing, an unknown number flashes up at me and I frown in confusion.

"Hello Esmeralda Gold speaking" automatically I go into business mode, who knows this could be a new client calling. Business is low at the moment so all new clients are welcome clients.

"Esmee it's me, are you okay?" Christian? Why is Christian ringing me? Oh wait the email! Maybe he's decided to attend tonight, oh this is great! Tori will be so excited, she'll be sarcastic but I know deep down she'll be happy about her dad attending alongside me.

"I'm fine Christian, I'm so glad you've changed your mind on tonight. It'll mean so much to Tori" I stare at my reflection, mentally checking that I look presentable. If I'm going to be seen with The Christian Grey I need to make sure I look perfect for him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he sounds angry , what have I done now? That man can never be happy can he , not unless he's around his little wife Anastasia , I don't know what it is about her but I can just see her being trouble between Christian and Tori , she may seem kind and welcoming but there's a fireyness to her that I saw when we meet , a sense of protectiveness over what belongs to her. Well Missy your husband is my daughters father whether you like it or not , well at least I think he is , no he is. He must be , I mean he must be , there was no one else. Okay there was Ethan but he was a one night stand in a club , there is no way , and I mean no way , that Ethan could belong to Tori. I can't even remember Ethan's second name. Karanah or something like that.

Anyway it doesn't matter because I am 100 per cent sure its Christian who is the father … well 85 per cent.