Hiya all :)
I told you I'd update again before Monday hehe
I have some very exciting news for you all … ready?
YOU DECIDE WETHER TORI WILL BE CHRISTIANS OR NOT!
Yep you read right, I am fully putting this major plot line in you, the readers, hands.
As of last night there has been a poll opened, which you can access through my profile, with two options. Yes and No. If you vote yes then tori will be Christians. If you vote no then another man will come forth as the father of little miss Victoria, not saying who he may be.
The aftermath section is in 5 parts , 3 of which have now been posted. Part 4 will be posted next Thursday at the latest.
And then on the 12th of January I will close the poll and write up the 5 instalment of the aftermath. Revealing a DNA test result hehe
So once you've read this chapter think hard about your choice and go vote. It's down to you what happening so if you really don't want him to be the dad go make it happens.
In regards to this chapter , give Christian a little bit of slack , he's scared and unsure of the situation he's found himself in . He doesn't know the right way to respond to everything so he instantly goes on the defence. He's still that miss-matched mal-nourished child underneath his CEO persona and this chapter shows his uncontrollable fear.
Now I'm going back to my feminism essay , fun fun fun hehe
Alexandra xxxxx
Christians POV
Taylor isn't driving fast enough; we need to get to Esmee's now not in 10 bloody minuets! How can it be that things had been so good , all the drama was getting sorted out , and now all hells broken loose and I am helpless to controlling any of it! I can't cope with this, it's completely unnatural to me and I am finding my temper control cracking at the seams, especially around my smart mouthed wife. God how she irritates me when she disobeys my orders , so much could be avoided if she just stayed with me twenty four seven. But I don't want a submissive , I want Ana , and that means putting up with her stubborn independence who are you kidding Grey you love her for disobeying you I knock my subconscious out of my head , although they do have a point. Screw my subconscious.
Who am I kidding though? I love my Ana; I love everything about her because she is so not what I use to think I wanted. She's beguiling and innocent but yet she has such a fire within her, a deep passionate light that I just can't stop myself running towards. I long to hold her, be with her , burry myself deep inside her for hours on end , just to have that connection with her , a connection that only she and I can share. She is my other half, the ying to my yang. My whole fucking existence is Ana.
But sometimes even she pushes me too far. Today is one of those days. Truth be told I know I need to get a DNA test for Victoria and the more I push it from my mind the stronger my doubt becomes about the whole messy situation. Hearing Elena shout at me about my stupid behaviour towards Victoria was hard enough but having Ana get upset earlier as well was the tipping point , I will not have my abusive ex and my wife ganging up on me about something that is mine and Esmeralda's business. However much I love Ana she doesn't need to be so involved , she's causing herself and our unborn baby far too much stress and it's just silly for her to demand to be a part of this.
Speaking of Esmeralda when the hell is she going to ring me back! If Leila has Victoria we need to work out a plan of tracking her A.S.A.P! Now is not the time to ignore my fucking calls! Its official, women cause the most stress, the world of business is a walk in the fucking park compared to women!
Out of the corner of my eye I notice Ana reaching for her bag, what is she up too? The last thing I need is her ringing Kate and telling her everything, especially if Kate tells Elliott, Jesus that would cause fucking Armageddon in my family. No I can't let Ana ring anyone, this information keeps top secret, no discussion.
"Anastasia, what are you doing?" I think I see a text come in on my phone and I keep my attention locked on the phone, something deep inside me feels wrong, something is very very wrong and I desperately need to stop it before people get hurt. I notice her hands move away from the bag and rest on her beautiful baby bump, how much I love that unborn baby of ours.
"Nothing, I was just going to check to see if Esmee had rung me" see what I mean! Getting involved when she shouldn't, if Leila has Victoria that means she's on a mission to hurt me, and that means hurting the people I love the most. I love no one more than I love Ana, if she gets hurt a part of me dies. She has to stay away! This is not her battle!
"Why would she ring you? Tori is my daughter , not yours" Shit maybe that was a bit harsh , once again I see life in the phone and I beg it to tell me something , anything! Nothing but a black fucking screen looks back at me and I growl in frustration.
"Christian…" No that's her 'I have a point to make' voice. I don't have time to have a fucking argument with her about this; there are other things on my mind. Like for example how I am going to keep her away from Leila, that's the most important thing to me right now. Yes I'm being harsh but I have to think and she's distracting me. I turn on my most impressive smirk and lock my eyes with hers, deep grey to scorching blue. Go on baby, try and defy me again, I dare you. God how I want to fuck her in this car!
"Yes Ana?" there's a charge of energy between us but I don't think she can feel it, I've frightened her, I'm scared my own bloody wife. How much of a dick can I be today? She gulps and turns towards the window, the perfect image of obedience, it sickens my soul to know I made her do that. I'm just about to reach out for her when Taylors no nonsense voice rings out from the driver's seat.
"Sir we're nearly there, would you like me to go in first?" if both Taylor and I leave the car Ana will follow, throwing herself right into the pit of danger. What if Leila is still at the house, the second Ana enters she'd be at risk! I cannot let her get hurt; I will not let her be hurt again. The only problem is I think I'm going to hurt her more by protecting, I'll just have to hope she understands when I explain later on. Act first, explain later.
"No Taylor. I want you to drop me off and then get Mrs Grey out of here as quickly as you can. Take her to Escala and make sure she doesn't leave. Understand?" I can see Ana scowling at me and can't help but smile at her unbearable cuteness, how I wish I could just kiss away her worry. But that definitely send the wrong message, no I need her angry because then she will sulk and sulking means staying safe locked inside Escala. When I find Victoria and deal with Leila I'll explain everything and we can properly make up, something I am literally counting down the seconds for. I need to be inside her!
"Christian…" I tell her no with my eyes and she clamps her mouth shut instantly, sending a kick of pleasure right to my groin, fuck she's so hot. Controlling her like this is insanely arousing.
"Understand Taylor?" Do as your told baby, you'll get rewarded later I promise. She nods softly and bows her head, so obedient. What's made her act this way all of a sudden?
Then I see the glaze in her eyes. No! Fuck no I've made her cry! What the hell is wrong with me? I can't keep doing this to her, it's wrong. So fucking wrong of me! Once again I have to fight the urge to take her in my arms and hold her close because Taylor is talking.
"Yes sir. Have you had any contact from Miss Gold yet?" I draw my attention away from Ana's subdued face and check my phone. Nothing! What the hell is Esmee playing at! She has my email address and now my number! She should be ringing me back! Its basic fucking manners!
"No! Damm her why won't she call!" my breathing is so erratic I feel like I'm going to pass out with anger. This is just not fucking acceptable! I need to know what it is going on so I can get control. I need to control this! She's my fucking daughter for God sake; she needs me to help her! Images of mine and Ana's unborn baby in trouble stab my heart and I have to fight back my aggression. No child of mine will be hurt while I'm alive. I will find her, I just have too.
"Christian why are you calling her from Taylor's phone?" I snap my head round and narrow my eyes at her.
"What are you talking about Ana? This is my phone. Now hush up will you?" I turn my attention back at the phone, willing it to ring. RING YOU BASTERD!
I hear her hitch of breath and dart my eyes over , trying to stop her but failing she grabs her phone and punches in a number , holding it up she shows how she's ringing me. The phone in my hand however still has its blacked out screen. Fuck she's right!
"Fuck! Taylor did you know about this?" I glare at him through the rear-view mirror and spot his genuinely confused expression, he wouldn't lie to me.
"No sir, I have two phones. One for business and one for my personal use. That must be my personal one, when I noticed it was missing I just assumed I'd left it with Gail. I'm sorry Mr Grey"
"Then where the hell is my phone! I NEED THAT PHONE TAYLOR!" this is fucking terrible, of all the things to go missing my phone is probably the most dangerous. The information that small little device holds is terrifying, my entire life is on that fucking thing! How could I have been so stupid to let myself lose it, I never leave it anywhere, it's always in my jacket pocket! ALWAYS!
"Leila" Ana's voice is barely a whisper next to me put for some reason I hear her as clear as day. One word, one single fucking name and it penetrates deep in my stomach instantly making me feel sick.
"What about her?" I see her gulp and stare at the phone in my hand, as if she's battling with herself.
She tells me about her theory on Leila acquiring my phone when we were with Elena , the one time I leave my jacket and phone unattended a pshyco ex sub steals from me , fucking murphy's law I think that's called. The annoying thing is that when you eliminate the possible the impossible seems highly probable, good old Sherlock Holmes, and it is extremely probable for Leila to steal my phone. Shit! Things just went from bad to fucking catastrophic.
"But that doesn't explain how I had Taylor's personal phone in my jacket instead of mine" note to self get a phone that isn't the same as my body guards.
She goes on asking about how Taylor came to realise the loss of his phone, listening to her theory I can't but admire her intelligence. My lovely wife never stops impressing me, and I can't seem to stop making her cry. Uh why is everything so fucking dramatic at the moment? It's driving me mental.
"Shit this is not what we need right now! If Leila has my phone she has access to everything. Grey House, Escala, even the house. All the access codes are stored on that phone" no! Ana! I can't protect her; I can't lock her away because the person I am trying to protect her from has all the codes. No! This can't be happening!
"Sir we need to speak with Miss Gold" Taylors voice is angry , I think he's pissed that he was out smarted by a young girl , but then Leila isn't herself at the moment , she's a heartbroken desperate shell of her old self.
"Ana give me your phone" I hold out my hand but she hesitates and I raise an eyebrow at her, it's just a bloody phone call for god sake, what's her bloody problem. I snatch the phone away and punch in Esmee's number, she picks up instantly.
"Hello Esmeralda Gold speaking" she sounds so confused, obviously not use to having unknown numbers ringing her. Her formal tone makes me smile a little but I hide it in case Ana notices, thankfully she's once again staring out the window at the blurry images rushing past us.
"Esmee it's me, are you okay?" I can't help the panic that comes out in my voice, although I feel nothing for Esmee she is Tori's mother. Not just that but as my first ever real sub she was a pivotal part of my life, not that I'd ever say that to Ana, it'd break her heart.
"I'm fine Christian, I'm so glad you've changed your mind on tonight. It'll mean so much to Tori" I listen careful, hoping to hear her laugh and tell me she's making some sort of sick joke. She can't honestly think it's funny to joke about Tori's parents evening when we suspect she's been kidnapped! Something's wrong, something's happened to Esmeralda, I can just feel it. Panic kicks my stomach once more as I lose even more control, making my anger spike dangerously.
Is it me or are we driving slower?
"What the hell are you talking about?" Esmee starts to talk and her emotion filled speech breaks my heart.
"Her parents evening Christian. Look I know I should have told you I was pregnant but I was scared , scared you'd make me get rid of the baby and I just couldn't have done that , not at such a young age. It would have haunted me my entire life, yes having a daughter at 21 was hard but I love Victoria, she is my life, my shining little light at the end of every horrible day. My parents didn't approve and when they found out they disowned me, I pretended for years that Tori belonged to another man in the hopes he would accept her but in the end the truth came out and like everyone else he left me. She is the only person who hasn't ever left me and today it's her parents evening and I want you there. So please make sure you arrive at the school address I gave you in …" her voice trails off and I can imagine her realising the time. Memory loss, she's obviously forgotten the kidnap. Oh my poor Esmeralda, no mother, no parent, should have to go through the horror of losing their child.
I vaguely register the car slamming to a halt and a small yelp coming from somewhere but all I can truly hear is Esmee's confused mutterings, her memory is returning, she's remembering everything, and she's all alone through it. My heart is with her in so many ways.
"That woman, Christian there was a woman here, I remember her, she was at my door, she knew, she knew about us. How could she know about us? She knew about Tori. No Tori!" her scream hits me like a ton of bricks and I close my eyes, feeling every single ounce of her pain "she took her! She took my baby!" then there's just sobs, the sobs of a mother without her baby.
"Christian?" Ana's voice washes over me as I hear Esmee calling out for Tori, I can imagine her running from room to room desperately searching for her most precious treasure.
"Mr Grey…" Taylor's voice is clear in my ear and I have to fight the urge to hit him, how dare he interrupt this phone call. I look up at him and cover the phone with my hand so Esmee doesn't hear.
"Drive the fucking car Taylor" I need to go help her, this is my fault. I brought Leila into hers and Tori's life. It is my responsibility to fix this.
I listen more as Esmee starts telling me about Tori's childhood, telling me all about how beautiful she was as a baby and how everyone told her she had the world's cutest baby girl. Suddenly I feel something on my hand and I pull it away.
"Ana leave it" I whisper harshly, feeling sick that Ana is sat next to be with my baby in her stomach and yet on the phone a woman has lost their baby. A baby who also belongs to me. I've lost one of my babies.
"Baby please…" her use of the word baby makes me shudder inside. These are unknown feelings to me; this is why I didn't want to become a parent so quickly! I don't know what feeling is the right one and what ones to hold back on. I'm scared and confused all at the same time. Anastasia is not helping me right now! She's making this harder because she's going to make me be a father all over again! I can't be a father! I DON'T WANT TO BE A FATHER ANYMORE!
"I said leave it Anastasia! Will you please do what you are fucking told for once in your fucking life" like when I say don't get pregnant I mean don't get fucking pregnant!
"Christian!" her feisty rage fights back but I shoot her down with a look of pure disappointment; I will deal with her once Victoria is returned to Esmeralda.
"Anastasia I mean it. Not now! Taylor how long till we arrive?" Taylor doesn't even speak but instead raises four fingers indicating a 4 minuet arrival time , seems he too is pissed off at me , well I don't fucking care , I sign his pay cheque so he will do as I say. Taking down my anger I put the phone back to my ear, stunned to hear Esmee's strangled sobs.
"If she dies I'll die as well Christian. Bring me back my baby please" I fight my own tears and take a deep breath.
"I'm on my way Esmee, hold on for me okay? We will find her, I promise"
And I will find her. I'll be a good farther to my unwanted daughter. Victoria Louisa Gold, Daddy's coming.
Remember to vote!