I couldn't resist on the title. So this one is definitely an "AU" of what happened on the show, but I think that's ok and hopefully you won't mind the little "changes" I made ;o) Would love to hear your thoughts on this one especially!

And this chapter is the second update; please be sure to read chapter 32, also updated alongside this one! THANK YOU!

Dinner for Schmucks
July, 1917

"General Strutt is coming to Downton!" his father declares. "A special dinner is being given in his honor! Bring some honor to your family and be there!"

Larry bites back his retort, but instead forces a smile and nods his head. What was the point of staying in London anyway? Ever since the War started, the Season has been no fun. Besides, he's very pleased to learn that all of Lord Grantham's daughters will be present for the meal, and that motivates him a great deal more than some decorated General.

Lord Grantham's heir is the one who brings the General to the house. Sybil has changed at this point and looks radiant in her black and gold gown. Yes, things will be very good once they go back to normal. As they stand outside the house, awaiting the General's arrival, he can't help but smile at her, his own chest swelling with pride, hoping the dying sunlight will glimmer off the decorative medals that hang from his chest. Indeed, she'll make a fine wife. And for a moment, he closes his eyes and imagines that it's just the two of them, standing outside their grand house, receiving fine guests who will talk about nothing else but the glamorous welcome and reception they received, at the home of Lord and Lady Merton, Larry and Sybil Grey…

So enraptured is he with his daydream that he fails to notice how unhappy and out of place his sweet Sybil looks, standing and shifting awkwardly, as if she would rather be in her frumpy gray uniform, than in an elegant dress, and attending an elegant dinner.

When they enter the dining room, he is encouraged by Lady Grantham to take a seat next to Sybil, which he is only too glad to take. He is also sitting directly across from General Strutt, though he hardly spares the man a look. Now if only Sybil would do likewise…

The door opens then, and Larry's eyes go wide at the sight of none other than the grubby little chauffeur…dressed up like a footman.

Memories from that past December return, when the dirty mick had the audacity to lay a finger on him. A wicked smile begins to spread…

"Mary," he turns to Sybil's eldest sister, also sitting across from him. "Downton must be the only house in all of Britain to still have able-bodied footmen."

Mary's pleasant smile fades, and he's pleased to see the Irishman stiffen.

"That's Branson," Mary murmurs, her voice low so only Larry can hear.

"What!?" he gasps, much louder than necessary. "Well…I am impressed! Branson is clearly a man of many talents! Driving a motor and serving dinner?"

"Stop it, Larry," a voice hisses next to him.

He doesn't. "I wonder," he turns to the chauffeur, now footman. "Can you polish shoes and mend buttons as well? I need new valet."

"Larry!" Sybil hisses again, but he's the one who's focused on something else now.

"My valet was called up," he explains to the Irishman's back. "The army needs every strong man they can get; I'm surprised you're still here. There isn't something wrong with you, is there?—HEY!"

He leaps to his feet, but the damage has already been done. Wine soaks his chest and lap, and Sybil's wrist rests on the table suspiciously close to the overturned wine glass.

"Oh, forgive me!" she dramatically cries, blushing and apologizing to the whole table. "I'm such a klutz."

Larry's face is burning with embarrassment, especially as he hears several people chuckle nearby. He turns his head to the chauffeur, ready to snap the mick's neck if he so much saw a smirk, but the man is being "led away" by Carson.

Mary noticed as well, and looks puzzled. "Where did Branson go? And the soup?"

"Who cares," he mutters as he attempts to mop up the wine from his lap. The stuff smelled rancid anyway.

The evening carries on as if nothing has happened.

And just like before, Sybil doesn't bother giving him any of her attention afterwards.