Love, Infatuation & Mistrust Chapter : 7

A/N: Slight Reid whump and angst! (Finally!)

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I don't own CM or their characters annnnnnnnnd the only thing I own is the ones I make up!

*4/25*

Alex woke up and rolled over with a smile on her face. That's when she realized that she was still in her outfit from yesterday and in her bed. She looked over and saw Spencer fast asleep, slumped forward in a chair with his head resting on his arms on top of her bed. Alex frowned at the thought of him staying in that position all night. She quietly crawled out of the bed and walked towards the bathroom. She grabbed her robe from the bathroom door and sat it by the shower. She looked in the mirror and could see the glow in her eyes. Alex smiled as she thought of her favorite man in the room down the hall sleeping. Alex went to the bathroom and washed her hands. She then brushed her teeth and stripped to take a quick warm shower. She washed her hair and stepped out to dry herself. She then threw the robe on and gathered her dirty clothes. She left the bathroom and threw her laundry in the hamper and walked back to her bedroom where Spencer was still sleeping soundly. She took a chance and got dressed in dark grey jeans and a hoodie. Alex grabbed her keys and walked out of her apartment. She headed straight towards Reid's and once she approached the door, she unlocked it and went in to gather him some clothes. The weather was nice outside, but it's always slightly chilly in April. She decided to get him his sweats too. "This is a little cliché," Alex mumbled as she fetched his toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, boxers, undershirt, and socks. "This is good enough I believe," Alex thought aloud. That's when she saw his glasses and put them on top of her pile. She walked to Reid's closet and grabbed one of his go-bags. She put the clothes in and zipped up the bag. She thought for a second to see if she forgot anything and decided on getting him an extra pair of shoes. She smiled, walked out of the apartment and locked the door behind her.

When she approached her apartment again, she quietly entered and placed his suitcase in the bathroom on the counter. She walked into the bedroom and noticed he was still sleeping. Alex then decided that she would make breakfast for them. She closed the bedroom door and stalked towards the kitchen. 'Spencer hasn't been eating much lately. The only time I've seen him eat was when he took me out for breakfast two days ago,' Alex mused with a frown. That's when she remembered his nightmares. "What to cook. What to cook," Alex mumbled. "I don't even know what foods he like." Alex sat at the kitchen table in frustration. Then an idea popped into her head. "He likes bread based foods, because all he asked for was a bagel! He loves coffee, even though I told him to slow down on it, so I'll give him half-and-half. He is all for the sweets so I will make him French toast and half-and-half coffee! Perfect!" Alex ranted to herself happily. She got out the ingredients and began to cook.

When she finished cooking she set the table and looked at the clock. Almost 11:45 in the morning. 'I better wake him up,' Alex sighed in thought. She really didn't want to wake him up, but she knew he needed to sleep at night. She walked to the bedroom and smiled. She ran her fingers through Reid's hair and bent down to face him. She had a thought to push him to the floor, but discarded that thought in fear of hurting him. She brushed a few strands away from his eyes and she kissed him softly on top of his head. Spencer slowly woke up only to turn over and go back to sleep mumbling something incoherently. Alex giggled and decided to get a bit more intimate with him. She nipped at his ear and began to kiss his neck. She ran her hands along his back and torso slowly. Spencer slowly woke up again this time with that same small burning sensation and a slight frustration. He didn't want to wake up. When she realized that he was waking up, she kissed him. "Good morning," Alex said quietly not wanting to irritate the cranky man any further. Spencer gently sat up in a small daze. "Good morning," he mumbled as he shivered from the cool air. "I made you breakfast," Alex said whiled hugging him from behind. "Oh really?" Spencer asked quietly. "Mmmhmmm!" Alex nodded happily. "Would you like to eat? Before your food gets too cold," Alex asked. "Sure, please," Spencer said while closing his eyes again. "Sweet-heart, that means you have to wake up!" Alex giggled. "I'm up," Spencer mumbled. Alex got up and grabbed his hand gently. She giggled when she noticed Reid's disheveled hair. She guided him towards the kitchen table as Spencer's eyes got wide in shock. "Y-you made this?" Spencer asked in surprise. "Yes, love I did! Now let's eat up, and your coffee is half and half for health reasons okay?" Alex stated happily. Spencer merely nodded and immediately dug in. 'He must've been hungry and never realized it. Maybe I should've made more,' Alex thought merrily. Spencer finished in about ten minutes. He was completely full although he only ate two. Alex was already finished. "Thanks Alé," Spencer smiled shyly. He didn't realize that his body was that hungry, although he was surprised at how quickly he had gotten full. "You're welcome. I just noticed that the only time I've seen you eat was when you took me out to breakfast, and you only ate a bagel! Even when you made me pancakes, you didn't eat!" Alex said looking at Spencer with a sad smile. "Spencer, is there a reason why you're not eating properly?" Alex asked curiously. She wanted to make sure her love was completely healthy, and she wouldn't accept any old excuses. "Um, well, it just depends," Spencer mumbled avoiding any eye contact with Alex. "Spencer, what does it depend on?" Alex asked seriously. "Can we not talk about it?" Spencer asked quietly. "Spencer.." Alex drew out his name. Alex didn't want to wait. She wanted to get to the bottom of this now. "Alex, please," Spencer nearly begged. Alex was about to argue when her phone rang.

"Dr. Romanov," Alex said while staring at Spencer. "Alright, I'll be right there," Alex stated monotonously. "Spencer, I got to go. Some one just entered the E.R., and I have to assist in surgery," Alex said while running to the bedroom. Spencer stood and watched her in awe as she was going into Doctor mode. When Alex approached in the the living room she grabbed her purse and keys. "Call me when you're ready to talk," Alex said as she slammed the front door behind her. Spencer stood there stunned. "Is she mad at me?" Spencer asked himself. Spencer sat on the couch and thought about it deeply. He studied her micro-expressions from memory to the intonations of her voice. Spencer finally came to the conclusion that she was indeed upset with him. Spencer sighed and stood up to wash the dishes. Once finished he placed every dish in its correct place and walked towards the bathroom. Much to his shock, he saw that she had packed him a small bag of items. Spencer could feel his frustration building up inside, but he didn't dare let it out. He was mainly upset with himself for being so oblivious. "I should've told her," Spencer sighed and shook his head in disgust.

Spencer decided to take a shower and change. Maybe he'd calm down after the heat relaxes his muscles. Spencer took a shower and came out just as tense. So Spencer decided to clean up the laundry to try and get his mind off of her. He realized that it still didn't work. Spencer sat down for an hour hoping his mind would wonder off, but it only stayed on her. Spencer groaned and decided to clean his apartment. Spencer grabbed the mini suitcase that Alex took from his apartment and gathered all his clothes. He shoved them in the suitcase and left her apartment. Spencer walked up the stairs and unlocked the door to his room. Spencer sighed when he realized that his place was already clean. That's when another idea popped into his mind. He decided that he would throw out some of the furniture that is never being utilized. Spencer grabbed his cell phone and called a storage company that would hold any of his agreed to come down in about an hour so Spencer picked out everything that he would get rid of.

When the storage man came, they picked up several chairs, an extra table, and a few boxes he had packed. Once he paid them, he was alone again. Spencer was bored out of his mind so he decided to just read for a while. After reading about ten books within the half-hour, Spencer decided to just go on a walk.

Spencer grabbed his purple converse and put them on. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door. Spencer walked and found himself deep in thought. He thought about his mother, and how much he missed her. He remembered all the times he promised his mother that he would be strong and never leave her, yet, he left and barely visited her. That was when Spencer decided that he would visit his mother.

Spencer then thought about his father. He felt a slight guilt about what happened a couple months ago, but then his anger took over. Spencer is a nice guy-but William Reid had lost that trust. Spencer couldn't even feel sorry for the man. In fact, Reid still secretly wished that it was William that had killed Riley Jenkins.

Spencer then thought about the team. He was still fairly insecure around them and he sometimes felt that they were only his friend because of his job. He was forced upon them because of Gideon. Spencer knew that thought was irrational, but abandonment has always been a constant companion.

Spencer broke out of his thoughts and looked around. He realized that he didn't know where he was. Spencer began to walk hoping that he would eventually get to a point where he knew where he was. There were no street signs, so he only walked straight. After about an hour of walking Reid heard the thunder. Reid figured that now would be a good time to call one of his team members. Reid checked his pockets and realized that he left his phone in his apartment. Thunder resounded loudly throughout the area and a bright flash of lightning filled the sky. The dark grey clouds rolled in blocking out the light.

Reid could feel the fear building in his stomach. "You deserve this!" The unknown voiced yelled at him. Spencer cringed as the voice echoed the words over and over again in his mind. The thunder only added to the gunshot that he heard from the dream. The rain began to fall heavily as Spencer began to run. He ran from the voices, the gunshots, and most of all himself. Spencer ran for about an hour, getting more disorientated. Finally Spencer tripped and fell onto the pavement. He curled into himself as the temperature began to drop.

After all the effort of holding the pain in, Spencer finally cracked. He opened the flood gates and cried his heart out to the world. His past played before his eyes from vague memories as a toddler to the perfect memory of his father leaving. He remembered his mother's attacks on him for being an "impostor". He remembered all the bullies, even in college. He remembered his mother's cries for him to not let her get locked up at the sanitarium. He recalled meeting Gideon and becoming a member of the BAU. Dowd, Hankle, Morgan, Nathan, Alex's disappointment, and the sweet dilaudid. Spencer felt his hands shake and the ache in his head grew ten fold. Spencer realized that he was laying on the pavement while the freezing rain attacked him with all its might, so he got up. Spencer walked into the road to try to find his way back home. He traveled down the road for twenty more minutes as the rain got even heavier. Spencer knew he wouldn't find his way home tonight. Spencer turned to walk to an alley way when he heard screeching, next thing he knew he was on the ground in intense pain. It all went dark after that.

A/N: Quick chapter, next one may be extremely looonnnnnnnggggggg!