Hello hello hello my amazing , fantastic , super doper , dazzling readers ,
I know i've been acting terribly lately and I am extremely sorry for the ridiculous delay for an update.
Please know that things at home have been rather difficult recently which has caused a huge wave of writers block. But that is over and I am back , well as back as I can be with it being exam time hehe
Here is Aftermath part 4 – no DNA yet but don't you worry its on the way.
Also my apologise to anyone who gets annoyed because of this chapter but I need to stir up the drama after my long absence.
As always I love your reviews and look forward to hearing what you all think.
Alexandra xxxx
Leila's POV
I stare at Christian's phone, watching it light up with her number. Anastasia. Such a sickening name, a name I have come to despise so greatly I don't think it's possible for me to hate it more. Everything about that name just makes me feel sick with pure anger.
I can vaguely hear my own phone buzzing next to me but I ignore it, it's probably just Aunt Elena asking me to go back to hers so she can 'help me'. All she does is make me take pills and go to work , apparently the pills will help me forget but I can't forget , I refuse to forget my love for my master. How can I forget him when he is meant to be with me, he's always been mine but he just doesn't know it, but he will. I will make him realise how perfect I am for him , I can do as I'm told , I can be obedient , but most of all I can rid him of the people who are out to hurt him.
Starting with Miss Esmeralda Gold and her bastard daughter.
Daughter, son, husband, wife, I want that life and yet I'm alone. Am I a bad person because I want to be loved? No, I don't think I am. Christian can make me happy and I know I can make him happy as well, surely that means what I'm doing is right? I'm trying to make him happy and yet all he does is push me further away.
Well not this time, no this time he will be mine and little Miss Anastasia will watch alone while he makes his choice. I will make her feel the pain I felt, the pain I am still living with. I will have my revenge, even if it kills me.
Ding, ding, ding
The timer wakes me from my daze and I stand, throwing the phone down on the table where it hits the wood with a crash, and make my way towards the basement.
9pm. Time to put Victoria Gold to sleep.
Anastasia's POV
There are lots of positives about being 7 months pregnant , one being its only 2 and a bit months till I meet my precious little Blip , however one of the biggest negatives about being 7 months pregnant is it stops me running , instead I have to do this weird waddle/hop thing. Which according to my husband is just not a fast enough mode of travelling, a fact he has been yelling at me since we got out the car ten minutes ago.
"Anastasia! Will you please hurry up!" I try to speed up but my bump stops me from seeing the floor and I trip on a rock, hurtling to the floor at a daunting speed "CHRISTIAN!" I call out in the hopes he'll turn round and help me but he's too far ahead, he can't hear me. I brace myself for the impact but suddenly I'm being caught and held against someone's chest, my eyes are clamped shut as tears of fear rush down my cheeks. Just the thought of Blip being hurt because of my clumsiness makes me feel sick, not to mention the fact Christian hasn't even looked back to make sure I'm okay. You'd think he didn't care about our baby at all.
Wait.
Does he care? Is that what all this is? His way of showing me he doesn't want this baby?
"Ana? Ana are you okay?" Sawyer's voice breaks my inner thoughts and I look up, so that's who caught me. I nod and he lets go of me, however his arm stays on my shoulder reassuringly.
"I'm fine, thank you for catching me Sawyer. I've always been clumsy, I guess the dark and the speed I was going was just asking for trouble" I giggle softly in an attempt to lighten the mood but it's obvious Sawyer is fuming. Come to think of it was Sawyer even on duty tonight? I swear it was just Taylor in the car with us when we pulled up outside Esmee's apartment building, guess he got called in by Taylor earlier on.
"Are you sure? The baby, is the baby okay?" his eyes scan mine and I'm taken aback by how worried he is. Over the years I have really come to trust Sawyer, perhaps even more than I trust Taylor, but then I guess that was bound to happened because Sawyer is with me every second of every day, you could say I spend more time with him than I do my own husband, especially now when Christian is so preoccupied by the Esmeralda saga.
"The baby's fine Luke, I swear everything is fine. Where are Christian and Taylor?" I notice the worry in his eyes vanish and get replaced by a deep relief, I never expected him to care so much. Anyway it doesn't matter right now, what does matter is finding my husband.
"They've gone up to Miss Gold's apartment , I advise you stay here Ana , Leila could still be in the apartment and sending you up there as well could be seriously dangerous" I glance up at the tall but slightly boring looking apartment block , it's nothing compared to Escala that's for sure.
"No I want to go up Luke, I have too" he sighs in frustration but gives in.
"Fine but make sure you stay behind me and if I say run Ana, I mean run as fast you can, understand?" his pale green eyes are locked on mine and I nod silently.
"Let's go then" Sawyer glances around three times before entering a code into the keypad , something he must have got from Taylor who I know has built an entire profile on Esmee's apartment building , enters the building and heads straight for the elevator. I follow silently; too scared to even breathe in case I make too much noise.
We enter the elevator and Sawyer presses the button for Esmee's floor, the lift comes to life and we ride up silently. My heart beat has never been so quick; it's practically beating out of my chest. I didn't know it was possible to feel this sick, if it wasn't for Sawyer standing next to me I am pretty sure my dinner would be making an appearance on the shiny wood floor of this elevator.
"Ana?" Sawyer's voice filters through my foggy mind and I turn my head slightly so he can see I'm listening.
"I have to see this Luke" I know why he's hesitant to let me into Esmee's apartment. Christian and Esmee are together through this tragedy, Victoria is their daughter, and little Blip and I will have to watch on the outskirts. Sawyer knows how hard this is going to be for me and he wants me to turn away, to go on as if this isn't happening but he doesn't understand that in doing that I will only be hurting myself more.
So when we reach the door to apartment 32 I am the one who takes the key from Sawyers pocket and with a heavy breath it is me who opens the door.
I wasn't ready for what I saw.
Christian's POV
Being scared is new to me, as new as falling in love was.
That's where all comparison stops. Falling in love made me happy and still makes me happy. Being scared however is killing me , physically and emotionally , I can't feel anything and yet I feel sick , my body and mind feel separated , as if my body is moving without any direction from my brain , my brain is dead with fear.
My daughter, my poor sweet little daughter, has been kidnapped because of my sick past. This is my fault. The guilt is so harsh on my heart that I can physically feel my entire body straining to keep together, while inside my soul is practically dying. I am to blame; it's me who has caused all this pain.
The car turns onto Esmee's street and within seconds we are pulling up outside her building , I notice how small it is compared to Escala , the walls are a bare red brick and simple black windows. No life, no colour, it looks boring and lifeless. I note to myself to arrange a more expensive , Victoria deserves to grow up in splendour , that's why I work as hard as I do , to make the best possible life for my family.
Speaking of family, what the hell does Ana think she's doing walking so bloody slow! We need to get to Esmee; I need to be there for her.
"Anastasia! Will you please hurry up?!" I don't bother turning round to talk to her, my voice is loud enough for her to hear me, I don't have the time to stop and lecture her. I notice a brunette women entering Esmee's building and my heart plummets. Leila, she's going to kill Esmee. Shooting a panicked glance at Taylor I notice he's spotted the woman as well but doesn't know whether he should pursue her , after all it could just be my panicked mind playing tricks on me. I nod approval and within seconds Taylor is off down the sidewalk towards the building's boring looking entrance, his right hand poised over his gun.
"CHRISTIAN" Ana's scream of my name makes me stop, but only for a few seconds. Esmee! Staring at the high rise building I spot her scared face in a third storey window. She's searching for me. Without a second thought I take off towards the entrance, passing Taylor and the mystery brunette, and storm up the stairs two at a time.
I reach apartment 32 and recklessly bash my fist against the thin wood door, this place is falling apart at the seams. The hallway is dead and lifeless, pale grey walls with wood panelling matched with dirty wood flooring, the only light supplied by a cheap looking lampshade and a low lit wall light. Anger spikes through me and I take it out on the door, smashing my fist so hard against the wood that I hear the splinters cracking slightly. If only Esmee had told me about Victoria earlier, I could have helped them, done what is right for them! If I'm her father she should have the best, not be growing up in Seattle's lowest slum building. This is wrong, so wrong.
The door opens slowly, revealing a broken woman, a beautiful broken woman. I reach out and let her go into my arms, her tears soaking my shoulder as her small body shudders in sorrow.
"Shhh Esmeralda, we will find our daughter, hush now please" cautiously I rub my hand over her back; the smoothness of her skin hasn't changed, still so soft. Her head moves up slowly and those eyes meet mine , deep sea green meeting silk grey , but they aren't full of life like they use to be , instead they are lost , searching for a clue as to where her child might be , they are desperate eyes of a desperate , desolate , woman.
"I just want her home Christian, I need her here. I can't sleep or eat or think, I'm dead without her here" her voice is a low whisper, catching with her sobs as she tightens her hold on me. There was once a time I would have punished her for touching me like this but now things are different, she isn't just a woman she's the mother of my child, my only child. She is allowed to be close to me, I want her close to me. She sneezes through her tears, making her stand back slightly, her head bowed as she rubs her nose. It's a submissive stance and makes my head spin with a deep dark desire; I push it away and step into the apartment, closing the door behind me.
"What about your body guard?" she stands back out of my arms and I quickly scan her appearance, searching for any bruises of cuts which might give me an idea as to what happened. She's wearing a short figure hugging black dress , her hair is lose around her shoulders , overall she's beautiful and immaculate. It's only when you see the mascara marks down her cheeks and the puffiness under her eyes that gives away her distraught emotions. I also noticed a darkening around her neck; the sight makes me feel physically sick. I follow her through a small hallway, decorated with numerous pictures of Esmee and Tori as well as single shots of Tori at school, towards a large open planned kitchen/living room space.
"He'll be in soon , he's probably securing the building" her eyes shine with panic and I reach out to hold her hand in reassurance "it's just a precaution Esmee , there's no need to panic anymore , you're safe" her smile looks genuine but by the way she moves her hand away its clear she doesn't believe me.
"I'll only be safe when Tori is back in my arms, until then I can't relax" I nod slowly and watch her walk towards the kitchen, her hand running through her hair, a clear sign of fear and stress. I watch her movements, remembering the way we use to be when we were together, and such happy memories, well as happy as they could be. She always knew what I needed, whether it be her obedience or just her company. God the amount of hours I use to spend just staring at her picture , staring into those deep sea green eyes use to instantly calm my stress , the way they use to cloud over during our sessions , completely and utterly giving herself to me.
"Christian? Are you okay?" Esmee's voice knocks me out of my daydream and I have to shake my head slightly to kill my stray thoughts, especially when my daydreams seem to have a lot to do with Esmee and not my beautiful wife. Actually come to think of it where is my wife, she was supposed to stay right behind me. The fact she's not doing as she's told sends anger spikes through me. What if she gets hurt! I haven't got time to look after her as well.
"I'm fine" I run my hand through my hair , startling slightly when I hear Esmee's soft giggle from the kitchen , I glance over to see her pouring two glasses of crisp white wine "is that wise? And what the hell are you giggling at?"
"Wine's always wise, isn't that what your use to say when you were stressed?" I try to hide my smile but it's impossible and instead take the offered wine glass and run my hand through my hair as I sit , once again Esmee's giggle fills the small kitchenette area , the sound has a sweetness to it , it's then that I realise I've never heard her giggle around me. The thought pains me.
"Seriously stop laughing , what could be so funny at a time like this" I gulp down my wine without even thinking , my head is spinning making me act differently and I'm hating every single second , although not hating the seconds I'm spending with Esmee.
"I'm sorry it's just…" her voice trails off as she takes a long sip of her wine, pausing slightly, then tossing the entire glass back with a flourish.
"Just what?" I grab the bottle just as I see her hand reaching for it and shake my head softly , we both need our wits about us if we're going to track Leila down. Esmee's eyes lock on mine and the softness of her smile makes me smile back.
"You still do the hair thing, I always loved watching you do it" she blushes and purses her lips cutely, clearly embarrassed at bringing up our past. My heart warms for her.
"What hair thing?" she looks up and suddenly bursts into laughter, her eyes brimming with a strange mix of relief and happiness.
"You're doing it right now" it's then that I notice my hand running through my hair, an unconscious movement which now has us both laughing like teenagers. Its only when Taylor clears his throat that we stop , that's when I notice the beautiful woman stood behind him. My Ana.
And she's crying.
Anastasia's POV
My hand hangs in free fall as Esmee's door is opened , the key in my hand inches from the lock.
"Taylor?" Taylor stands in front of me , his eyes are emotionless but his stance tells me something is wrong. Where's Christian? And why do I suddenly feel like running all the way home and hiding under my duvet?
"Mrs Grey. I advise you stay away from the apartment , it's too dangerous you being here" I try to step into the doorway but Taylor's body blocks the small space , I can sense Sawyer behind me and turn to flash him a small smile , the last thing I need is a showdown between mine and Christian's bodyguards.
"Taylor move aside" I've never spoken to Taylor in such a formal manner but something's off , he's hiding something from me , and it's probably got something to do with whatever's going on in Esmee's apartment.
"Mrs Grey I can't let you in , I'm sorry but I will not budge" once again I can feel Sawyer stiffening behind me , even he can tell that something is wrong. I need to find out what the hell Taylor is hiding me from. A thousand and one bad case senarios rush through my head , images of my husband and Esmee together causing me to feel shaky and weak.
"Taylor please , I know your hiding something from me. What's going on?" his eyes shift slightly and my voices catches , my worst fears have just been confirmed "let me in!"
"Ana I can't. Please understand that this is my job" gone is the emotionless eyes , instead Taylor is showing so much anguish and desperation I almost feel sorry for him , almost.
"And this is my life , my marriage. I know you work for Christian but I'm married to him Taylor , that makes you my employee as well , now I don't want to be the one to tell Gail that you've been fired but if you don't let me in we will have a problem , do us both a favour Jason and let me in!" I vaguely notice Saywer's hand on my shoulder , steadying me as my emotions play havoc with my balance. Taylor's shoulders sag , his head hanging low as he steps to the side.
"Don't say I didn't warn you Ana" I nod slowly as he leads me down the hallway , Esmee's giggles are audible and I shudder at the fact she's so happy when I'm feeling so low. Then I hear Christian's melodic laugh , so heartfelt and warm , it's a sound I've missed tremendously. Suddenly my eyes are tearing up and my shoulders start shaking , shackled with deep sorrow I carry on following Taylor.