Ch. 11

AN: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! *sp *See for yourself if it's stupid! By the way, thanks to my friend Raven for helping me!

I had issues with the 'sp' at the beginning. If anyone knows what she is trying to say, please PM me.

"No!" I screamed. I was horrified.

Bloody Mary tried to comfort me, but I told her to **** off. I ran to my room. I was alone. I was crying.

Dumbledore chased me. He was shouting. He stopped chasing me when I went into my room. He had to stop because if he didn't he would look like a pervert.

I started crying. My tears were made of blood. I slit both of my wrists. *They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.*

What? We have some options:

1. Ebony's wrists got all over her clothes. She took off her clothes. Ebony jumped into her bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.

2. Ebony's wrists got all over her clothes. She took off her wrists. Ebony jumped into her bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry. How did she put on a song without wrists? I don't know.

3. Ebony's blood got all over clothes. She took the blood off and jumped into the bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.

4. Ebony's blood got all over her clothes. She took the clothes off and jumped into the bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.

Isn't that… interesting?

I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart. I almost committed suicide.

I was so ****ing depressed!

*sigh* must we go over this again?

I got out of the bathtub and out on a low cut, black, lacy dress. I was sad. I also put on black high heels. They had pink metal on the ends. I put on six pairs of skull shaped earrings.

Ebony's ears have more holes than Swiss cheese!

I couldn't ****ing believe it! Then I looked out of the window and screamed. Snape was spying on me! He was taping me! Lupin was masturbating! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

How is Lupin doing that while sitting on a broomstick?

"Ew! You are ****ing perverts! Stop looking at me! I'm naked! Are you pedophiles?" I yelled.

I love how she yells this instead of hiding or something. Also, she's not naked; she's wearing a black, lacy dress.

No Ebony, they're not ****ing perverts. If you look carefully, you will see that they are masturbating and taping perverts. You need to pay more attention to these things.

I screamed and put on a towel. The towel had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it.

So Ebony can wrap Marilyn Manson around her naked body. Whose idea was this?

Suddenly, Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled as he pointed his wand at Snape and Lupin.

Edited Out: Vampire/Harry's womb pointing. I doubt that anyone (man or woman) can do this.

I took out my gun and shot at Snape and Lupin. I shot them a gazillion times. They started screaming and their camera broke.

Snape and Lupin would have to be right next to the window to film Ebony and avoid any distortion. Ebony can't be more than 20 meters from the window. Clearly Ebony is a very bad shot. Her gun is very special and carries an unlimited number of bullets. Also, where did Ebony hide this gun? Did she shove it up her butt? Dresses don't usually have pockets.

Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

Brace yourself for insane, nonsensical dialogue.

"Ebony! Someone has-", Dumbledore said, "No!"

Dumbledore looked at Snape and Lupin. He waved his wand and suddenly Hargrid flew out on his broomstick.

"Ok! Listen everybody! We need to have a talk!" Hargrid said.

"What do you know Hargrid! You're just a little Hogwarts student!" An unknown person asked.

"I may be a Hogwart's student, but I am also a Satanist!" Hargrid said angrily.

Erm. That's great? What does that have to do with understanding?

Is Tara trying to show us that this Hargrid character is a cool person in this story? I don't know…

"This cannot be," Snape said crisply, "There must be other factors."

This dialogue cannot be.

Blood dripped from Snape's hand. Dumbledore had shot his hand earlier.

I assume that Snape was injured when Dumbledore waved his wand, which is strange considering that he said no incantations at all…

"You don't have any!" I yelled angrily.

Don't have any what? What's going on?

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly, "The lens may be ruined, but the tape isn't!"

Stop talking Lupin. I'm busy trying to understand.

I felt faint. I felt like I hadn't drunk enough blood.

At least you stopped terrorizing the house elves with your insane breakfast orders. Just imagine what you did to poor Winky!

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin asked angrily. He rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

Who's doing what? Where are they? What's happening? I think I need some tea…

Then I heard the words that I had heard before. Earlier I hadn't heard them from him.

There are four guys in this bathroom, which one is 'him'?

I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy, or whether to bite him and suck his blood. I felt faint.

"Because," Hargrid said. He paused dramatically. He waved his wand in the air.

Be careful! The last time someone waved their wands without saying any incantations, Snape got hurt!

He swooped into the bathroom while singing a song. He was singing the gothic version of a song by '50 Cent'.

Which song? Details please!

"Because you're Gothic?" Snape asked. He was afraid that being Gothic had something to do with being connected to Satan.

Haven't we already established that all the main characters are Satanists? By the way, being Gothic has nothing to do with Satan.

"Because I love her!" Hargrid screamed.

Hargrid just came into the story two seconds ago! He doesn't even know Ebony!

Edited Out: Random bursts of Caps-Lock. It seems to be a sign of all bad fanfics. Said signs are:

1. Bad spelling

2. Bad plot

3. Bad grammar

4. Frequent use of Caps-Lock. I hate Caps-Lock. It makes me shudder…