Touched

Disclaimer: Creator Tite Kubo owns the manga and anime Bleach and its characters. No offense or infringement is intended.

A/N: Many apologies for the delay of this chapter's posting. I had what we'll refer to as an 'employment crisis' and had to put this little story on hold for the last couple of months while I secured a new position. Now that I've got a couple of prospects lined up I felt comfortable enough to pick this back up and send this lovely update to you guys. Warning: my emotions were all over the map so this chapter may reflect that a little- we'll just see if my crazy ended up on the screen! All this after the last chapter which seemed to have many of you saying 'WTF?' Admittedly, with the last one I was bowled over by the fluff machine- sometimes you just get so much momentum you look up at the end and say 'Huh. How'd I get here?' But know what? It was fun, so I let it stand- mush and all.

Many thanks for those wonderful and encouraging reviews! Reviews are one of my favorite things in the whole world- right up there with lipstick, chocolate, peaches and gift cards. It was the reviews that actually pulled me back to this story even when I felt like I should have been putting my attentions elsewhere- without them who knows when I would have come back to this! So thanks to PathKeeper, .Me (hasenpfeffer!), Nasha Rei-Kun, Triple-Helix, Aires Drake, liferscove2118, Mako-Hero, jesi ki kage, CWolf2, EveryEye (!~^_^~!), miu miu, DawnCervantes, JJ, and Marie Darkholme (4th?~!) for the motivation to crank out more chapters. Many of you have sent multiple reviews over these past months/chapters and I'm so very thankful. But enough of my gushing! On to the next chap (longest one yet- you guys earned it)!

Chapter 9: Secret

The fifth day, in the kitchen after the rescue…

The young redhead stared at the kitchen window watching the raindrops slick down the panes. She was trying not to panic but it was hard- her best friend was missing- and no one had any idea what had happened to her! Everyone had gone out searching for Tatsuki; well, everyone except for those two 'knuckleheads' as the tomboy so fondly addressed them. Orihime tried not to think ill of people, but those two sure did make it hard- what with Mizuiro's moping and Keigo's utter disregard for the severity of the situation. She'd sent them up to one of their rooms just to get them out of her hair.

Oh Tatsuki, please be okay. If something bad happened to you I don't know what I'd do. Just… please come back safe…

No sooner had the thought entered her mind, Orihime heard footsteps on the back porch. When Ichigo appeared on the other side of the opening kitchen door she was a little disheartened- somehow she'd hoped it would have been Tatsuki.

"Ichigo? Wait, didn't you go upstairs? How did you get outside?"

Shaking some of the rain off of himself before entering, he smiled at her, "Hey, Orihime. Actually, I think a better question is who is it I have with me?" When he stepped to the side she noticed a pale hand gripping his arm attached to a very wet Tatsuki who followed in behind him.

Forgetting any pretense of protocol she rushed forward, embracing the girl in a strangling hug, "Oh, Tatsuki! You're okay! Thank goodness! I was so worried about you!"

Orihime felt the vibration of her friend's chuckle as she hugged her back; the strength in Tatsuki's returned embrace did not escape the young healer. "I'm okay, 'Hime. A little soggy, but otherwise fine."

Orihime held her friend at arm's length to get a better look at her; Tatsuki blushed to a suitable level of embarrassment at the scrutiny. She watched as the redhead's eyebrows huddled together contemplatively before she tilted her head to the side a little, "Wow, you really do look okay, Tats-chan. Better than you've looked since we got here… How come you're okay?" She looked over at Ichigo for an explanation, "How come she's okay?"

Under Orihime's inquisitive eye Ichigo paled noticeably. Releasing her newly retrieved friend, Orihime took a few steps back until she could look at both of them. Suddenly her eyes grew wide as she slowly inhaled a long breath, "Ohhhh… Ichigo, did you… touch her?"

Despite the innocence of her implication, never had a string of words sounded so dirty coming from Orihime's mouth. Ichigo winced as Tatsuki covered her face with her hands in utter mortification. Ichigo sputtered before he could get any words out, "I… she… it… well, it was an emergency, Orihime! Tatsuki was in really bad shape and I wasn't sure I could get her to you in time…"

Tatsuki nodded in agreement, "He's right. Turns out water doesn't exactly agree with my special 'condition'…" She'd already peeled off her soaked sweater in order to ring it out. "I hate to admit it but I was pretty far gone by the time he got to me."

Orihime was about to voice her concern over this discovery when she noticed that Ichigo had disappeared for a moment. In a blink his flashstep brought him right to Tatsuki's side again, now holding a large towel. "Here, Tats. Speaking of which, we need to get you dry," he said, and she watched as he took the sweater from Tatsuki's hands and draped the towel gently over her shoulders.

Something was going on, Orihime was certain of it. Wordlessly she watched as Ichigo vigorously rubbed Tatsuki's arms with the towel as her friend blinked up at him, biting her lower lip to keep from smiling too broadly. Then he pulled a corner of the material up to gently dab at her face, chuckling as she scrunched her nose. As Orihime watched his fingers delicately guide the cloth across her friend's cheeks and eyelids she somehow felt like a voyeur. It was as if the two of them had forgotten she was even there and were sharing an intimate moment.

Then Ichigo smirked, "Don't forget your hair." When Tatsuki shot him a puzzled look he answered by pulling a large handful of towel over her head to rub at the shaggy spikes. When she squealed in protest he wrapped an arm around her, trapping her in the towel as he attacked her hair until she was able to wriggle free.

"You know, you're wet, too, Ichigo!" she countered, pulling a large swatch of material over his face and head to return the favor. Struggling blind, he took a few steps back but only ended up pulling her against him as she was still wrapped up in the towel. She shrieked, "Hey, stop! You're gonna make us fall!"

He was laughing under the towel, "Stop so you can smother me? Yeah right!" He slipped down onto one knee and Tatsuki had to grab his shoulders to keep from stumbling on top of him. As the cloth slipped off his head, Ichigo finally caught a glimpse of Orihime in his peripheral vision. He blanched as he suddenly realized that she had watched the whole thing, playing out with Tatsuki wrapped up in the towel moments from falling over his shoulder. Reaching up to steady her, he groaned as he felt his hands grasp her hips, the towel finally falling with a damp splat to the kitchen floor.

Tatsuki's laughter trailed off as she realized that Ichigo's wide-eyed attention was directed somewhere else; with a start she remembered Orihime- how had she forgotten about her in the span of a few seconds?- and instantly began to right herself, backing out of Ichigo's suggestive hold. "Well that's enough fooli- joking around…" she muttered. She'd moved until she was standing alone in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"Yeah…" Ichigo agreed, standing up, "Guess we'd better let the others know you're safe and sound…"

Orihime caught the nervous look on Tatsuki's face and saddened. They were so happy and carefree a moment ago… It's been forever since I've seen either of them like that…

Tatsuki nodded slowly, "Yep. We're gonna be in trouble, though."

"But why?" Orihime asked. "You said it was an emergency. Won't they understand?"

Ichigo shrugged, "Our friends might, but the Shinigami won't. And Hanataro will have to tell them." He sighed heavily, leaning against the stove. Tatsuki sank like a stone into one of the kitchen chairs.

Orihime looked at both of her dejected friends, wishing for all the world she could get them back to the way they were before the reality of it all had sunk in. She looked over at the large window again, watching the rivulets of water slick down the panes and hearing the rainstorm outside echo in the nearly empty room.

In a soft voice she asked, "Why do we have to tell them?"

Looking at her friend quizzically, Tatsuki slowly answered, "…Because… we have to…" Then she glanced over to Ichigo, "…don't we?"

He shrugged folded arms, frowning, "Not necessarily. If they wouldn't understand then maybe they don't need to know." Then his eyes slid over to Orihime, "We'd all have to be able to keep a secret, though…"

Orihime watched as both of her friends sighed resignedly. Defensively she responded, "Hey! Are you guys saying I can't keep a secret? Because I can! I can be sneaky!"

Tatsuki couldn't help but grin crookedly, "Oh, 'Hime. No offense, but you're ridiculously honest. It's okay, though- it's one of your best qualities." Ichigo chuckled despite himself.

However, Orihime was offended, "Heeeey! You guys don't understand! I've been through a lot these past few months! I've been in situations where my life depended on my ability to be cunning and deceitful! It may not be one of my favorite things to do but believe me- I can lie with the best of them!" She narrowed angry eyes to prove her point.

Tatsuki blinked in amazement. "Uh, 'Hime, are you serious?"

She nodded sternly, "You and Ichigo are my best friends, and if protecting you means lying then I can be devious, deceitful and conniving!" She wiggled a finger in their direction, "You just watch how sneaky I can be…"

"What am I watching, Orihime? I didn't hear the last part…" Mizuiro asked, strolling into the kitchen. Before he could finish his thought he caught sight of Ichigo, and then finally noticed Tatsuki sitting at the table. "Hey, Tatsuki! You're back!" he exclaimed.

With excitement he rushed to her; however, within inches of embracing her he suddenly stopped, remembering the 'No-Touching-Tatsuki' policy (and possibly the fact that she wasn't much of a hugger in the first place). He hovered there for an awkward moment- bent over with arms wide staring her in the face- until she smirked at him, "Hey, knucklehead. Miss me?"

Smiling, he stood up in front of her crossing his arms, "Just worried about you. We thought you got lost."

She raised an eyebrow at his smug look, "I don't get lost."

He rolled his eyes, "I know that." Then he noticed the towel on the floor nearby and her choppy wet hair, "So where were you?"

Before she could answer Orihime piped in, "Outside! Ichigo found her and brought her back so I could charge her."

Mizuiro turned to look at the redhead, "Really? That's weird."

Orihime had the sweetest smile plastered on her face and for a moment even Tatsuki believed her. Shaking it off, she drew the teen's attention back to her, "Yeah, turns out my unique 'condition' is allergic to rain. But now I'm feeling much better."

He nodded, "Oh, well that's good. So the others aren't back yet?"

Ichigo stood up, "Actually I was just about to go call them back. A little flashstep and I'll have everyone here in no time."

"That's great, Ichigo!" Orihime chimed. "We'll stay here with Tatsuki and make sure she's alright."

He gave her a funny look but made his way out the door into the rain before anyone said anything. Tatsuki looked back up at Mizuiro, "So you stayed behind with Orihime?"

He shrugged, "They wouldn't let Keigo and me go with them. He fell asleep upstairs. But when I heard a ruckus down here I figured there was some news." He made a face, "It sounded like… giggling and fighting…"

Tatsuki's eyes went wide but Orihime cut in again, "Oh, sorry! That was me. I was just so excited to have Tatsuki back safe and sound!"

"That makes two of us. Though from the sound of things, I missed a great reunion."

Orihime blushed but Tatsuki just smirked at him, "Oh I don't know, Mizuiro. Just imagine if you'd actually hugged me."

That afternoon, Ichigo's room…

Instead of joining his friends for cards Ichigo decided to catch a little quiet time alone upstairs. The rest of the morning had been interesting- after he'd brought back the search parties, Tatsuki had had to reassure everyone that she was okay. They'd all been glad to see her but Hanataro had been predictably concerned about the latest developments. The medic had ended up asking a lot of tricky questions; it had taken everything he and Orihime had to avoid tipping everyone off about the true circumstances of Tatsuki's rescue. True to her word, Orihime had been surprisingly deceptive in her protection of their secret- it had left him wondering if there were other secrets the girl had kept to herself.

It had been hard to leave Tatsuki, but eventually they'd had to send her upstairs to change out of her wet clothes before any more of her energy could be lost. He hadn't seen her since, but somehow he knew that after secretly kissing her on the roof and sharing his energy with her, hovering around the girl wasn't the smartest idea.

However, that didn't mean he could simply turn off his thoughts about her. Strong feelings for Tatsuki weren't new- after she surprised him by kissing him the first time he felt as though he was seeing her in a whole new light. But the more Ichigo thought about it the more certain he was that his amorous feelings for his best friend had existed before then. Perhaps finally realizing her mutual attraction had been the catalyst to amp his heart into high gear. All he knew was that since she'd kissed him all he'd been able to think about was being with Tatsuki- kissing her, touching her, laughing with her, getting to know her more intimately. How ironic was it that once he'd finally worked up the nerve to act on his feelings he'd been forbidden from doing so?

He knew he'd messed up. The kiss today, the one he'd selfishly taken, had been reckless and impulsive. With his unpredictable energy levels he could have hurt her. Fortunately for her he hadn't. And unfortunately for him, it had been amazingly fantastic. Kissing Tatsuki had been one of the most enjoyable sensations of his young and extraordinary life, rivaling even the rush of calling his bankai to decimate an opponent. Closing his eyes brought her laughter to his ears and the delectable sensation of her lips pressed against his; his mind kept flashing to intense memories of her- skin surprisingly softer than he would have guessed, dark chocolate eyes that ignited like stars when he smiled at her-

*Knock knock*

Ichigo was almost grateful for the distraction. From the firm bang on the door he figured his visitor would be either Ganju or Renji, but when he opened it he instead found his golden-eyed sensei waiting for him, thankfully in her clothed human form.

"Yoruichi? Um… what's up?" It wasn't until he saw her standing in the doorway that he realized he hadn't seen her all day. He vaguely recalled Keigo mention her napping in her windowsill earlier that morning. He suddenly wondered how much she had heard of the day's events.

She had a bored expression on her face as she looked him up and down, and then glanced around his shoulder into the room. "Aren't you going to invite me in? Or are you… busy?"

Ichigo narrowed confused eyes at her before he stepped out of the way, opening the door wide for her to enter. "Not busy. Come on in…" He watched bewildered as she slowly sauntered in, giving the whole room a thorough once-over before finally turning her attention back to him. He couldn't help but ask, "Um, are you looking for something?"

Leaning casually against the dresser, she shrugged. "Just wondering what might be keeping you from playing cards downstairs with the boys. I wondered if perhaps you were entertaining a guest."

At that he shut the door, eyeing her. "Nope. Just wanted some time to myself." When she only raised a curious eyebrow in response he leaned his back against the door and crossed his arms resignedly. When it came to his Shinigami sensei, he could tell when she had something on her mind. She had uncanny ways of finding out what she wanted to know; even when she didn't have any details her intuition was enough to put her onto even the faintest of trails. Might as well get to the bottom of this… "Alright, you've obviously got something on your mind, Yoruichi. Why don't you just ask me what you're thinking?"

There was no surprise in her measured stare. "Fine. I heard about Arisawa's 'disappearance' this morning. I have to say, I found the circumstances rather unusual…"

Of course. Their lie. He should have known that she would be the only one to be suspicious when everyone else so easily overlooked the huge holes in their story. Still, if it were a chess game his sensei could either be three moves ahead or she might just be fishing. He decided to keep it vague, "Yeah. Apparently water and temperature affect how fast she loses energy; she got stranded outside."

The dark woman gave a passive nod, "I heard. Pretty unusual way to find out about something like that though, don't you think?"

Fishing. That eased his worry a little. "Not really. Today's the first day it's rained since we arrived here." He shrugged, "Did you ask her about it? Since it's her condition…" Even as he asked, the thought of Yoruichi confronting Tatsuki made him shudder.

She shook her head, "You're the one who found her. You're my student, not her. She doesn't know or trust me so she'd have no reason to be honest with me when I ask what happened."

Shit. He watched her guardedly, "I thought you already heard what happened."

"I heard what the others told me- that you miraculously found her almost completely spent for energy and brought her dutifully back to the inn for Orihime to charge."

He inwardly cringed; it sounded so flimsy when she said it aloud. He still couldn't give up, though. "Right. So what's the problem?"

Her piercing golden stare landed on him and in that moment it felt as though she were looking right into him, the quirk of a challenging smile curling her lips. "The problem is I know you better than you think. Arisawa-san, she's… different." He was about to interject but she continued over him, "I mean the way you treat her is different than the others. You two have a history apart from your other friends. We even talked about her once; do you remember?" Recognition slowly dawned on him as she confirmed, "You had a dream about her…"

He sighed heavily, "We've been friends for a long time- I care about her. But I care about them all."

"But she's the only one you've been keeping an eye on…"

"Because I never expected her to get mixed up in all of this… this Shinigami craziness! I thought that at least she was safe! The others I couldn't help- Sado and Orihime- but her…" He clenched his jaw reflexively, "…turns out I was wrong. So forgive me for keeping a closer eye on the person whose life I most recently ruined."

She raised a doubtful eyebrow at that, "You think you ruined her life?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes as he ran a hand over his head, "Well she sure as hell wasn't planning on getting snatched off the street by an Arrancar only to be dropped a couple thousand feet, to then be kidnapped into the Spirit World under the guise of protection where by some fluke her life force drains away unless her friends can replace it, which ultimately denies her the protection she was promised in the first place! And it's all my fault! So yeah, I think I can safely say I'm the one who ruined her life!"

When he finally looked back up at Yoruichi she'd taken a seat on top of the dresser, one foot tucked under her while the other dangled against the drawers. She shook her head at him, "…Which is why I find it hard to swallow your story."

"Wait, what?"

She looked as though she were trying to stifle a smile, "Ichigo, in the time I've known you- whether right or wrong, whether smart or dumb- you've always done the heroic thing…"

"So?"

She raised that smooth eyebrow at him again, "…So you found Arisawa drained of all her energy and you simply scooped her up and brought her back for Inoue to fix?" His only answer was a guilty yet defiant glare. She sighed exasperatedly, "You don't have to tell me; I don't even want to know-"

"-Then why are you here?" he snapped.

Her face was suddenly quite serious, her eyes unblinking. "Because you need to understand that it can't happen. You were given rules to follow. You can't be the one to rescue her- you can't be the hero, Ichigo. Not this time. There's too much at stake with this. It's not just your ass on the line, and it's not just hers. It's all of our asses!"

Unable to hold it in, he exploded off the door to pace the floor in front of her. "You're talking about the Council, aren't you? Well I couldn't give a damn about them when after all I've done for them they won't even help us! All out of misguided fear of something they don't understand!"

"Ichigo, Central 46 and what they represent is so far beyond what you can even comprehend right now! They're not just a bunch of guys sitting around a table sipping tea and passing judgment on a bunch of teenagers; they are responsible for the fate of millions of human souls including every single Shinigami! I wish I could explain it but their motives are not for you to question!"

She seemed surprised by how angry he had become. Changing her approach, she slipped off the dresser, crossed to him and stopped his pacing with a hand on his shoulder. "You're one of the most unique and powerful beings we've ever seen, Ichigo, but it's bigger than you. It's bigger than me or the Shinigami. It's bigger than Aizen! So I'm telling you to do as I say."

Exhaling away some of his tension, he willed himself to calm down. Somehow he could sense the true gravity of his teacher's words. Still, he couldn't help asking, "But what about Tatsuki?"

She answered with a soft smile. "You once told me how strong you knew Arisawa to be. Next time, give her the chance to save herself…"

That evening…

By the end of the day the rain had long ceased, the day's warmth slowly eliminating all trace of the downpour. Tatsuki felt comfortable enough to venture outside again though this time she stayed closer to the ground, lazily dangling her legs off the edge of the back porch. She found she did her best thinking outside and at the moment she had a lot of thinking to do...

Ichigo. Just when she thought she'd finally gotten a handle on his 'amazingness' he cranked it up another notch. Apparently saving her from a fanged ghost-demon wasn't enough- he had to save her from a rainstorm, too. His timing had been impeccable…

The roof had been the perfect spot: a hiding place out in the open that was still technically part of the inn. It had open air with expansive views including a glimpse of Seireitei- a breath-taking sight even if she'd been forbidden from entering its walls. At first, the rainy drizzle had actually felt kind of nice- a soothing balm against her frazzled nerves, it had a tranquil calming effect on her. Only after the rain grew heavier did she finally begin to notice her steadily growing fatigue. It was an inevitable pull- like the slow descent into sleep- and she knew something was wrong.

The danger of her situation became immediately apparent: passing out on a four story rooftop spelled out a bizarre sort of disaster she hadn't even considered until she nearly slid off the slick tiles a couple of times. Those close calls were enough to convince her to find a relatively safe spot to weather the storm. She drifted off into unconsciousness clinging to that stone pillar with thoughts of her own mortality weighing heavily on her mind.

It had been so surreal to open her eyes to Ichigo's intense gaze, to be awakened by his panic-stricken voice. How had he known where to find her? How absurd to have him just crouched right in front of her like that, apparently already keenly aware of her peril? She'd been reminded of the rain when she noticed how it spiked his hair and weighed down his kimono; the wet sheen on his skin had brought the sharp angles of his face, neck and chest into higher relief. He barely seemed to register the storm, his focus instead centered on her with an intensity that still made her blush just to think of it. Despite his natural strength he'd been surprisingly gentle as he'd cradled her against him and when he'd finally touched her…

Guiltily she had to admit it- she'd wanted him to, but hadn't really been prepared for the overwhelming repercussions. Ichigo's reiatsu had had the pull of a tidal wave… she'd felt swept away in an undercurrent of raw power, surrounding and filling her in a manner split somewhere between drowning and igniting. In that moment she had known the power of a Shinigami, of the entire Spirit World into which she had been so unceremoniously thrust. It had been both delicious and frightening; somehow she knew that such power had never been meant for her to experience.

In this world- in all of them- she was so small, so inconsequential. The boy she'd known had grown into a man that surpassed her wildest imagination, running across the wind, embodying the power of gods. Who was she to think that she'd ever had a chance with someone like that?

His voice over her shoulder surprised her; she hadn't even heard him walk out onto the porch, "Hey, Tatsuki. Are you, um, alone?"

Startled, she turned her head to look up at him, "Ichigo, hi. Yeah, it's… just me." Sensing he wanted to say something she allowed the silence to deepen between them. When he just stood there staring at the garden she prodded, "Did you have something on your mind?"

She watched him walk down the porch steps to stand in the yard near her. The porch was low without a railing- even with him standing they were about eye-level with each other. He finally nodded, "Uh, yeah." She couldn't help but notice that he seemed to avoid looking at her until the last possible moment where he quickly glanced in her general direction. "I just wanted to check up on you after, you know, this morning…"

He was guarded and aloof; his tension was obvious, telling her everything. Something deep in her chest clenched and she fought the urge to ball her fist and hit something. Instead she answered, "I'm fine, Ichigo. You don't have to worry about me."

"I know…" he whispered, though she didn't really believe him. Realizing he wasn't finished she held her breath, waiting, already knowing before he spoke. "Tatsuki… about what happened this morning… between us. It… it can't-"

"-It can't happen again. I know," she cut him off, unable to hear him say the words after all. She was surprised how much it hurt, the amount of personal rejection she felt despite knowing that a large part of it undoubtedly had nothing to do with her. "It was reckless and crazy. I shouldn't have let you. It was stupid."

She heard his voice harden, "It wasn't stupid! But… there are rules, and this time I have to follow them… And it's… it's bigger than us…"

She scoffed sadly, calling him on his own frustration, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

He leaned against the edge of the porch several feet away; the distance only irritated her more. Neither seemed able to look at the other. He sighed, "I spoke with Yoruichi. She knows I've been treating you differently. She didn't say it, but I think she knows everything. Tatsuki, I'm sorry, but…"

She only heard snippets of what he said next, her mind already too full of her own spinning conclusions. It had been her own stress and anxiety. Her traitorous female hormones finally asserting themselves after so much repression. Or maybe it had been her utter inexperience with any even remotely intimate contact. All she knew was that her feelings had betrayed her; how ironic that once her brain finally figured out what her heart wanted, her damaged spirit form would put it beyond her reach. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing away the burning tears that threatened.

"…not because I don't want to. But I have obligations in this world as a Soul Reaper. Sometimes despite what we may want for ourselves we have to act for the greater good. We may not even understand why we have to do the things required of us…"

She shook her head, realizing what was happening. He wasn't talking to her, not really. He was quietly delivering what must have been a well-rehearsed speech to the air in front of him without any regard for her actual attention. He pressed on, a sad sort of momentum propelling his flat words, "…because of what's happened to you. And one day I'm sure we'll see that in the end the sacrifices we made were for the best-"

"-Stop!" she finally pleaded, interrupting again. "Just… just stop, Ichigo. I can't do this. I can't sit here and listen to this!"

He finally turned toward her, a startled look on his face as though he hadn't expected that reaction from her. From the way he gulped she guessed there probably wasn't a contingency plan for her particular deviation.

She sighed, chuckling woefully to herself, "I know what you're trying to say, Ichigo. And I get it. I respect your decision to abide by the Council's restrictions- I know it wasn't an easy one for you to come to…" At least I hope it wasn't an easy one for you to come to… "…It's… it's the right thing to do."

From the bewildered look he gave her she figured she'd surprised him again. It took everything she had to maintain a neutral face and she wondered how long she'd be able to keep it up before she had to get the hell out of there. Saying it aloud had somehow made it that much more painful.

She was in the middle of a calming breath when he edged closer to her whispering, "I'm sorry, Tats. It's not what I wanted… but I don't have a choice."

Something sharp twisted in her chest at those words- why did he have to say that?- forcing the air from her lungs in a pained groan. Instantly she turned an angry glare at him, only registering a second of the sadness tightening his features before he blurred before her as unbidden tears flooded her vision.

She pawed at her eyes to rub away the embarrassing wetness even as she cursed her own frailty, "Damn it!" To her dismay the drops just wouldn't stop coming.

Unable to see him, she knew he'd come closer when she heard his concerned voice, "Tatsuki, I'm sorry! I never wanted to hurt you like this-"

Choking on the lump in her throat she still managed to rasp out, "-I said stop it! Damn it, Ichigo, that's not fair! You don't get to say that!"

"What?"

She reached for the anger roiling deep in her gut to muffle the sadness and humiliation crippling her and to staunch the flood of her tears. Using the backs of her hands she finally cleared some of her vision. "God, Ichigo… I just…" she didn't even know where the words were coming from,

"…I spent so much time angry at you for shutting my out… that I never thought to wonder why you did. But now I know; now I think I understand what you've become." She glanced over at him and was again taken by the striking figure he cut standing there with his black robes and chiseled features, so handsome and mature- so far beyond her. She shook her head, defeated, "Now that I've seen it- seen your power and what you can do- I would never want to be the one to stand in your way. I don't even understand how someone as insignificant as me could be a road block for you, but whatever it is I don't want to be it."

Standing only a foot from her, she could see the tension in his body as though he were fighting the urge to reach out and touch her, to comfort her. Instead he spoke through a tightly clenched jaw, "You're not a road block, Tatsuki. It's more complicated than that."

She sighed hopelessly, throwing her hands up, "I know that! I know it's over my head why it has to be this way! It's my own stupid fault for falling for you! I'm just… tired. Tired of being brave in this world where my life doesn't make sense…"

"…Falling for me?"

Her eyes were dry now, her mind already going numb as she whispered, "God, I hate this world… I hate being broken. I hate not being able to control my feelings or protect myself. I want things back the way they were- before the ghosts and the monsters… when you were normal… and I was strong enough…"

"Tats, I am normal… at least in the ways that matter! And you're still strong… you're…" The conviction she'd heard earlier was slipping from his voice. She missed his mystified expression as he struggled for the right words; she couldn't look at him, not now. When she felt the weight of his hakama brush against her knees she withdrew involuntarily, raising her legs to get up. But before she could stand Ichigo's fingers had caught her wrist, gently pulling her back, "Tatsuki, wait!"

She emphatically shook her head pulling against his hold, her sleeve twisting beneath a grip that refused to release her. "Let go, Ichigo! I tried to be an adult about it- to sit here and listen to you try and justify it all away. But you're wrong, I'm not strong enough! I can't smile and pretend it doesn't hurt." She looked down at his hand encircling her sleeve, "I can't… be near you right now. So just-"

With a surprising amount of force she wrenched and twisted her arm, winning her freedom. It would undoubtedly bruise but she didn't care, she had to leave. Pushing herself to her feet she pointedly ignored his pleading requests- "Tatsuki, stop! Please!"- to aim herself toward the door while she could still see it, tears already threatening to blur her vision again.

She made it all of three steps when suddenly the world spun and she slammed into something. Blinking away the moisture and disorientation she found Ichigo's face mere centimeters from her nose, his body flush, pressing her up against the wall. He'd pinned one of her arms next to her head; when she tried to move neither of them budged. She opened her mouth to speak but this time he cut her off, voice so low and close she felt it vibrate across her skin, "Damn it, Tats! I need you to listen…"

She wasn't in a listening mood, being far too distracted by his presence everywhere. When she felt his fingertips press into the back of her neck something in her memory finally clicked- he's touching my skin!- and panic took over; she knew she only had seconds before energy started flowing through the contact. "You can't touch me, Ichigo! Let me go befo-"

He silenced her by crashing his mouth onto hers, forcing a kiss that stole both her breath and ability to stand. Shot through her body like a bomb blast, his reiatsu rolled like a concussive wave stunning every nerve ending in its path. This time the intent pulsing through that energy proved undeniable- it was impossible for Tatsuki to ignore the stark naked want assaulting every sense… Hunger… Desire… She slid down the wall a few inches until he released her trapped wrist to slip his arm behind her, pulling her up against him.

Oh God… want him… too much… can't help it…

Just when the need for oxygen began to outweigh the pleasure of his overwhelming attentions Ichigo broke the kiss. He didn't go far- only his head moved to the side of hers as the rest of him still relentlessly pinned her to the wall. It was probably for the best since she didn't really know what her legs were doing, wasn't even certain they were still under her.

Tatsuki rested her head back against the flat wood, gulping in air as she listened to him doing the same, hot puffs of his breath tickling against her neck. He must have recovered first because soon his words were echoing loudly in her ear, "I'm sorry. Tats, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… well that's a lie- I definitely meant to… but I shouldn't have been so rough. Are you… are you okay?"

Damn that was… When she didn't answer aloud he prodded more persistently, "Tats? Are you okay?"

"…Fine… I'm good," she replied in a daze. Gaining some of her bearings she quietly asked, "What… just happened? What… did you… do?"

She felt his deep chuckle reverberate against her chest before he answered, "I… changed my mind."

Want him… so much… Her brain was having a hard time processing it all, "Wh-why?"

He shifted again and this time his gorgeous amber eyes filled her vision, their deep intensity making her shiver. "Because… you're absolutely stunning when you're pissed at me."

Delirious… he's making me delirious… "I'm wh-what?"

There was that serious look of his again. "I remembered something. This morning I made a promise to you, Tatsuki- that I would always put you first." This morning? Seems so long ago… "I know I'm supposed to honor these rules. I tried! But something, no, everything in me is telling me that you're more important! That this- thatwe are more important! I can't ignore that! I can't ignore you… I'm sorry I tried to."

She simply looked up at him, elation and confusion fighting for predominance in her head. I knew it was real… Finally she gave him a crooked smile. "I guess… I forgive you."

He smiled back, sweeping her into another deep kiss and the world slowed for another few moments as she reveled in the electricity of his touch.

Nothing… Nothing has ever felt this… perfect…

They stayed like that for a while, long after the kissing had stopped. Despite their intimate proximity she realized he was no longer touching any of her exposed skin. Instead he just stared at her, his features pensive as though he were vacillating between memorizing her face and contemplating the future.

Whatever else happens… at least I had this moment…

Unsure if she really desired the answer, she asked, "So what happens now?"

He blinked in surprise as though he'd been oblivious to his peculiar staring. However his answer came fast, as he shot her a conspiratorial smirk. "Well, Tats, that all depends… Can you keep a secret?"

A/N: Naughty little kids! Did anyone catch the earlier reference to one of my other fics? ID it for a cookie! Hope this chapter proved worth the wait. As always reviews are appreciated, coveted and cherished. More action to come- I promise not to continue to drown you lovely readers in fluff. 'Til next time!

Mira ^_^