Chapter 21.
AN: **** you, okay? You ******* suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong, okay, because that b*tch raven corrects it. **** you preps! Woops, sorry, Raven, thanks for the help. By the way, Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed.
Way to go, Tara.Why didn't she delete 'because that b*tch raven corrects it'? She obviously needs a new editor. Or a grammar/spelling lesson. Maybe both?
Later we all went in the school. Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco, are you okay?" I asked.
Edited out: Ebony's "gothic" voice. You edited out her gothic voice? But how will we know that she's gothic if she doesn't say it in a gothic voice? What is she? My world is crumbling!
"No, I'm not, you ******* *****!" he shouted angrily. He started to run out of the place in a suicidal way.
How do you run in a suicidal way? Running with cutting tools?
I started to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide.
So why don't you run after him instead of standing there and crying like the little ******* ***** that you are? Didn't he already commit suicide? Why is she concerned about her zombie/vampire boyfriend committing suicide if he's already dead to begin with? Wait, aren't vampires a form of undead? Did he kill himself twice? Wait, what?
"It's ok, Ebony," said Vampire comfortingly. "I'll make him feel better."
"You mean you'll **** him, don't you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.
Woah! Really jumping the gun there! Whatever you do, don't try to comfort Ebony, she will assume that: 1. You must be in love with her. 2. You must be trying to have sex with either her or her boyfriend. 3. That you're a poser because Tara Goths don't have those warm fuzzy emotions.
"Draco, please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys. (AN: If you're a homophobe, then **** off!)
Oh look, a crying man. He must be sensitive! What if he's crying because he has a knife stuck in his foot or something like that?
And then we heard some footsteps. Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak.
How is it an invisibility cloak if it's black? Does it disguise you as a shadow?
We both got under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.
Sorry, flashlight?
I'm going to do a PartingGrace here. A few possible meanings (PG, feel free to add more!):
1. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor in the hallway where they were. He was shouting angrily. He had a flashlight in his hand.
2. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. He was shouting angrily. He had a flashlight in his hand.
3. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. He was angry. Both he and the flashlight in his hand were shouting.
4. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. The janitor had a flashlight implanted in his hand. Both he and the flashlight were shouting. The janitor was angry.
Eek, flashlight implant. I think you pretty much covered everything with that one.
"Who's there!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filch come over. He went under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.
Yeah, switch the character's names. The cat is Mrs. Norris and the janitor is Filch. Even if you only saw the movies, you should know that!Filch is meowing? Wait, what?
"Is anyone there!" yelled Mr. Norris.
"No, **** you, you preppy little poser son of a ******* *****!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.
Again, Tara meant breath, but this is way funnier.Who cares! Option game!
1. Vampire pulled out his breast, put it on his head and spoke.
2. Vampire pulled out a chicken breast that was in his pocket, put it on his head and then spoke.
3. Vampire pulled out his spare breast and put it on his head, and then he spoke. Vampire sure is prepared! He has a spare breast in his pocket, because you never know when you or some poor person needs a breast transplant! I would be disgusted too if I put a slab of raw breast meat on my head…
"Excuse me! Who said that!" yelled Mr. Norris.
Then he heard Filch meow, "Filch is there, under the cloak!" he said. Filch nodded. And then Vampire frenched me! He did it just as Mr. Norris was taking off the cloak!
Wait, Filch is telling Ms. Norris that Filch is under the cloak? What's going on?
"What the-" he yelled but it was too late because now we were running away from him.
Edited Out: Capitalization of every little thing that Filch/Ms. Norris says. Why was it in caps? I don't know, maybe to add in *emphasis*. I once played a video game where anything that was emphasized was in *asterisks*. Annoyed the shit out of me.
Then we saw Draco crying and bursting into tears and slitting his wrists outside of the school.
Bursting into tears implies that he has just started to cry, while crying implies that he's already crying. Was he crying when they came, or did he start crying when they came? I'm so confused… what's happening?
"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"
"I guess, though." Draco wept.
Just like that? Really? *facedesk*
Ebony: Are you ok?
Draco: Oh yeah, I'm only bawling and slitting my wrists, of course I'm not ok! What the **** do you think! B*tch!
Ebony: Poser!
Draco: OMG! SHE THINKS I'M A POSER! MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING!
Me: *sigh*
We went back to our coffins frenching each other.
Ah, frenching and walking at the same time. Never gets old.
Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (AN: See, isn't that depressing?) on the gothic red bed together.
That's a horror/comedy. How does it make you not want to do anything? Wouldn't it make you want to laugh and scream? Obviously someone isn't doing their job.
As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knock on the door and *Fug and da Mystery of Magic* walked into the school!
Fudge and the Ministry of Magic? Oh my God! They're walking into the school! Quick, mob them! *sigh*