Chapter 23.
AN: Shut the **** up, b**ches! You're just jealous because I got 10 000 reviews! Thanks to Raven for the help and telling me about the box, girl you rock, let's go shopping together!

Ooh! Box! Shiny! By the way, while more reviews would be nice, I get a lot of views, so I'm very happy!

The door opened and Professor Umbridge and Cornelius Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us.
"Miss. Way, what the beep are you doing!" Umbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore glared at her.

I didn't put beep in, honest. Also, I think it's pretty obvious that 'Miss. Way' is listening to your conversation.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrected her. "She means, 'hi, everybody come in!'"

Yeah… that's what she meant…. By that Julie means that you should all worship me. Please start erecting altars and sacrificing things in the name of me and all my gloriousness.

We all came in angrily.

Why are you angry?

So did all the other students.

How many people are eavesdropping? Oh wait, it's morning. That means breakfast, so never mind.

I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite Bloody Mary.

I'm sure that there's a less clumsy way of saying that.

Crabbe and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.

Found nothing for 'ville vollo', although Ville Valo is a many tattooed rock musician. Tattoos include a heartagram, portraits of people such as Maya Deren, Claus Kinsky and Charles Bukowski. The man loves tattoos. What's a heartagram?

I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup.

Poor elves.. poor, poor elves… Winky must be in a coma by now.
Then I heard someone shouting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shouting at each other.
"Vampire, Draco, what the ****?" I asked.
"You ****ing b*st*rd!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to sh*t next to her!"

I think she meant sit, but this is something else I'm leaving in.I don't think Ebony (or anyone) would like that.

"No, I do!" Vampire shouted.
"No, she doesn't ****ing like you, you son of a b**ch!" yelled Draco.
"No, **** you, m*********er, she loves me, not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (AN: No, not in that way, you perv!) They started to fight and beat up each other.

I love how even though everyone lusts after your main character, there is a lot of sex, there's a lovers spat, you bring up strange things like 'girl orgasms' and getting turned on by practically every living thing, we're the pervs. Ah, Tara logic.

Dumbledore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through fell apart.

Did the window break before or after he flew in? Love the confirmation that the noseless man has no nose.

Britney, that ****ing prep, started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting. I stopped eating. Everyone gasped. The room fell silent. It was Voldemort!

Compared to the other noseless men flying around on broomsticks.

Edited Out: Random ellipses

"Ebony…..Ebony…." Darth Vader said evilly in his raspy voice. "You have failed your mission. Now I will kill you and I will kill Vampire as well. If you don't kill him before I do, then I will kill Draco too!"
"Please, don't make me kill him, please!" I begged.

Just shoot him. What? No one here uses wands anyways. Why is Darth Vader in here?

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyways!" Then he flew away cackling.

Kill him, or I will kill him anyways. What?

I burst into tears. Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic.

Yeah, rolling eyes are uber goffic. Kill me now. Get me some tea and a pillow.

I had a vision where I saw some lightning flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

Why try to kill Draco if he's killing himself? Of course, he could have been having fun, wrist slitting is Draco's, Vampire's and Ebony's hobby. At this point, I'm surprised that they haven't had a three way, blood drinking orgy thing by now.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I looked up and stopped having the vision.

Because screaming 'no' is so sexy. If you like someone, just scream no in their face. Don't even let them say anything before or after you scream. After screaming, burst into tears and run away from them. They'll be sending you love poetry and singing you random songs before the end of the day! If it doesn't work, then that means that you live in a dimension where Tara isn't controlling everything. That's good. Go throw a party for not living in a Taraverse!

Did that make sense to you, because I'm rereading it and thinking, "What the ****?"

"Ebony, Ebony, are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.
"Yeah, yeah," I said sadly as I got up.
"Everything's all right, Ebony," said Vampire, all sensitive.

Comforting does not equal sensitive.

"No, it's not!" I shouted angrily. Tears of blood went down my face. "Oh my ****ing g*d, what if I'm getting possessed like in The Ring 2?!"

Note to self: Don't watch the Ring two. Tried to read the plot on Wikipedia and got very confused.

"It's ok, girl," said Bloody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinister about what the visions mean, though."
"Okay, b***h," I said sadly and then we went away.

Last word.