Chapter 29

Special stuff for you! FangedAssassin has completed the Mary Sue Challenge!

"The term "Mary Sue" comes from the name of a character created by Paula Smith in 1973 for her parody story "A Trekkie's Tale":15 published in her fanzine Menagerie # story starred Lieutenant Mary Sue ("the youngest Lieutenant in the fleet — only fifteen and a half years old"), and satirized unrealistic Star Trek fan fiction. Such characters were generally original female adolescents who had romantic liaisons with established canonical adult characters, or in some cases were the younger relatives or protégées of those characters. By 1976 Menagerie's editors stated that they disliked such characters, saying:

Mary Sue stories—the adventures of the youngest and smartest ever person to graduate from the academy and ever get a commission at such a tender age. Usually characterized by unprecedented skill in everything from art to zoology, including karate and arm-wrestling. This character can also be found burrowing her way into the good graces/heart/mind of one of the Big Three [Kirk, Spock, and McCoy], if not all three at once. She saves the day by her wit and ability, and, if we are lucky, has the good grace to die at the end, being grieved by the entire ship.

"Mary Sue" today has changed from its original meaning and now carries a generalized, although not universal, connotation of wish-fulfillment and is commonly associated with self-insertion. True self-insertion is a literal and generally undisguised representation of the author; most characters described as "Mary Sues" are not, though they are often called "proxies" for the author. The negative connotation comes from this "wish-fulfillment" implication: the "Mary Sue" is judged as a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting."

How cool is that?

AN: Shut the **** up! You're just jealous because you're preps, so f*** you! Raven, you rock, girl, thanks for the help! MCR ROCKS! 666!

Raven didn't seem to help much with these next few chapters, the grammar is absolutely horrible. It's mostly texting shortcuts.

"Oh my S*tan!" we screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snape and Professor McGonagall started to shout at us angrily.
"Come now!" Professor McGonagall yelled. Guiltily, we went over. We left the room after putting our clothes on. Snape grabbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

I think she meant camera, but here again is a good laugh.

Edited Out: Our good friend preacher Mcgoggle. Also, I love caramels. Although I don't know where the caramel came from, I can understand why Snape would grab it.

"Hey, what the f***!" Vampire shouted angrily.

Give that caramel back!

"Yeah buster, what the f*** are you going to do with the ****ing camera?" Draco demanded protectively, looking at me longly with his gothic red eyes.

Longly? Not a word. Also, buster?

"Look, Dumbledore knows your little secret and if you do this again, then you will go to St Mungo's. So give back the camera!"

Evidently having sex is a sign of insanity.

"Hahahaha the Ministry of Magic thinks that he is crazy, there is no way they will believe him," Snape laughed meanly.

Wait, believe Dumbledore? Don't they like Dumbledore?

"Yes, so shut your mouth, you insolent fools!" yelled Professor McGonagall. She made us come into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sensitive. (Get it, because he's a sexbomb. Lol, Tom Felton rules for life but not as much as Gerard. You're sex on legs. I love you, you ****ing marry me!)

Oo I can't imagine that poor Gerard and Tom feel the same way… Also, where are they? Are they somewhere in Hogwarts? How the h*ll can crying be sexy? When I cry tears and snot run everywhere. It's not a pretty sight!
I feel sorry for poor Tom. Also, sex on legs. Ah. Wonderful.

I started to cry tears of blood (AN: It happens in vampire chronicles, Raven said so, okay, so f*** you!).

Possibly, in 'vampire chronicles' I bet there are SOME non-Mary Sue characters. Hopefully.

Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

Don't you love it when your eyes go from ice blue to crimson to red? The 60s would love it!

And then….. He and Snape both took out guns using magic.

And the point of this is? Option time!

1. Vampire and Snape used magic to create guns.

2. Vampire and Snape used magic to take guns out of their pockets. Why don't they just shoot each other with their wands, who knows?

They started to shoot each other angrily. None of the bullets hit their target. I took out my wand.
"Crucio!" I shouted. Snape started to scream. He dropped the gun, but it was too late. Both of them had run out of bullets.

Ok, how does that matter? Why should it matter if they run out of bullets? At least someone is using their wands for actual magic stuff.

I stopped the curse. Professor McGonagall cast a spell that chained us up. She took out a box of tools. Then she said, "Okay, Severus, I'm going to go now." She left. Snape started to laugh evilly.

Ooh, we're all so scared now that she's leaving. Also, what kind of tools are they? Candy making tools? Wrenches?

Vampire started to cry.
"It's okay, Ebony," said Draco. "Everything will be all right. Remember the video you took of Snape."

WHAT VIDEO? The video that Lupin took of Ebony? Cut content?

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!

Omg, whips. Ebony's gonna get some discipline, huh? Or are they horse whips? Are they going horseback riding? Yes Julie, they're going to go ride horses. I just love Julie, she's so cute!