Chapter 32.
AN: I said, stop flaming! I know his name isn't Tom Bodil, that was a mistake! If you don't like the story then you can go scr*w yourself! YOU SUCK!

DONTTOUCHTOMBOMBADIL!GETAWAYFROMLOTRYOUB*TCH!

"Hi," I flirted. "I'm Ebony Way, the new student."
"The name's Tom," he said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name."

How ****ing convenient. Isn't your middle name Marvolo? Don't you need it for the letter rearrangement thing?! Don't care… Poor Tom… I'm going to go cry in a corner…

We shook hands. "Well come on, we have to go upstairs," Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan… do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (Since MCR and Evanescence didn't exist back then) I asked.
"Oh my ***ing g*d, how did you know?" Satan gasped. "Actually, I like GC a lot too." (Get it, because GC did that song, 'I just wanna live' that sounded really 80's.)

I don't get it. How does she know we are in the 80's? Why are we in the 80's?

"Oh my g*d, me too!" I replied happily.
"Guess what, they have a concert in Hogsment," Satan whispered.
"Hogsment?" I asked.
"Yeah that's what they used to call it in these times before it became Hogsmeade in 2000," he whispered secretly. "And there's a really cool shop called Hot-"
"topic!" I finished, happy again.
He frowned in confusion. "No, it's called Hot Ishoo." He smiled secretively again. "Then in 1998 they changed it to Hot Topic," he moaned.

What the h*ll? Is he a time traveler? Doctor Who would be ashamed! I'm ashamed! Feel the shame!
How would you know this if you live in that time? Can you see the future? You don't even know SHE is from the future! Also, why are you moaning?! And what's "skrtvli"? Secretively? Had to edit that.

"Oh." Now everything was making sense to me. "So is Dumbledore your principal?" I shouted.

It's not making sense to me.

"Uh-huh." He looked at his black nails. "I'm in Slytherin."
"OMG me too!" I shrieked.
"You go to this skull?" (Get it, cause I'm gothic) he asked.

If she's in Slytherin, she obviously goes to Hogwarts! Didn't Ebony introduce herself as the new girl in school or something like that? What is he, brain damaged?

"Yeah, that's why I'm here. I'm new," I smelled happily.

More happy smelling. Erm, he didn't ask why you go here…

Suddenly, Dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and shouted at us angrily, "No talking in the halls!" He had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from American Eagle Outfitters.

Really? AE? In this fanfic?! Edited Out: Dumbledore shredding at them. He turned into a really determined paper shredder or something. Also, caps rage.

"Stupid Goths!"
Satan rolled his eyes. "He's so mean to us Goths and punks just because we're in Slytherin and we're not preps."
I turned around angrily. "Actually, I think maybe it's because you're the Dark Lord."

Why is she mad?

"What the f***?" he asked angrily.
"Oh, nothing," I said sweetly.
Then suddenly…. the floor opened. "Oh my f***ing g*d no!" I screamed as I fell down. Everyone looked at me weirdly.

I would too if someone fell into a random hole in the floor. Also, most people can't get such a mouthful out when falling. Very impressive.

"Hey, where are you going?" Satan asked as I fell.

Because people fall through random portholes in the ground every day. Fell through one just this morning.

I got out of the hole. It was black in the Pensieve in professor Trelawney's classroom. Dumbledore was there. "Dumbledore, I think I just met you," I said.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's our fanfic, so review maybe?

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Dumbledore said, trying to be all gothic.
Sinister came in. "Hey, this is my classroom! What the f***, Ebony, what the h*ll are you doing?"
"Um," I looked at her.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
"What the h*ll, how?!" I screamed, forgetting she was a teacher for a second. But she's a Goth so it's okay.

Evidently it's ok to swear at Goths. Real Goths are probably gnashing their teeth right about now.

Professor Sinister looked sad. "Um, I was drinking Voldemort serum," She started to cry bloody tears of depression. Dumbledore didn't know that we cried tears made of blood.
"Hey, are you crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, touching a tear.
"F*** off!" we both said and Dumbledore took his hand away.
Professor Sinister started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "Oh my g*d, Ebony… I think I'm addicted to Voldemort serum."
AN: See, you ****ing preps, go **** yourself! That's a serious issue, go to h*ll!

Yup. Definitely. Happens every day. I live right to a Voldemort Serum rehab center. True, in her room, she has a great view of the rehab center.