Chapter 34.
AN: Shut the **** up preps! Have you even read the story? You are probably all just preps and posers so **** YOU! Thanks to Raven for the help!

./sigh, because we just read random fanfics from random fandoms.

I woke up in the coffin the next day. Draco was gone. I got up and put on a black tight sexy dress that was all ripped at the end. There was red corset stuff going up the front and the back. The dress came down to my knees.

Rejoice, for Ebony is drowning in "corset stuff"! Hallelujah!

There was a slit in the dress like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I put on ripped black fishnets and black stilton boots. Suddenly Sirius knocked on the door. I opened it.
"Hi Ebony," he said. "Guess what, you have to come to Professor Sinister's office."
"Ok," I said in a depressed voice. I had wanted to **** Draco or maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence. I came anyway.

Poor Ebony. What trials she goes through.

"So what the ****happened to Snape and Lupin?" I asked Sirius.

Edited Out: Ebony flirting with Sirius. Because it's just wrong.

"I ****ing tortured them," he answered in a sadistic way. "They're in Azkaban now."

Azkaban, hahaha. Edited Out: Even more statistic speaking!

I laughed evilly.
"Where are Draco and Vampire?" I muttered.
"They are excused from school today," Sodomize moaned sexily. "Right now they are watching The Nightmare before Christmas".

Why are they excused, did they get infected with a little bit of canon and their bodies exploded? Good question, but the real question is, "WHO THE F*CK IS SODOMIZE AND WHY IS SHE IN MY EDITED FANFIC!" Just saying… Why is she moaning 'sexily' anyways?

We went into the office. Professor Sinister was there. She was wearing a gothic black dress that was all ripped all over it kind of like the one Amy Lee wears in this pic.

Edited out: Half a url. Only Tara would feel the need to stick urls in her fanfic.

She was drinking some Voldemort serum.
"Ebony, you have to do another session now. Also, I need you to get me the cure for being addicted to Voldemort serum," she said sadly. "Good luck. Thanks!"

Why do you think Tom Riddle would have that?! Why wouldn't he? I always carry some in my pocket. You should always be prepared Julie. Always.

And then….I jumped into the Pensieve again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chocula.

Ah, Ebony's disturbing breakfast choices again. Count Chocula is a good cereal. It's just cereal with blood that I find disturbing. Ewww.

It was morning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gothic man with long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes wearing a suit and black Converse shoes. He looked just like Charles Manson. I noticed he was drinking a potion.

Edited out: Portents.

"Who's he?" I asked.
"Oh, that's Professor Slughorn," Satan said. "He's the Potions teacher...Ebony?"

Edited Out: Professor Sluthorn, sex ed. teacher of Hogwarts.

"Yeah?" I asked.
"Did you know that Marylin Manson is playing in Hogsmeade tonight? And they are showing The Exorcist at the movies before that."
"Yeah?"
"Well… want to go to the concert and the movie with me?"

Edited Out: 'The Exercise', the ultimate horror movie. To me anyways.