The Boy in the Park

Chapter Fifty-One

Big red bumps flared from both Sakura and Anko's heads. Naruko stood slightly in the corner, next to Shinku, as she watched the Hokage snarl down on the two.

"Anko's punishment will be decided by Ibiki," was a sentence that Anko had begun to dread, as the moment it left the Godaime's lips the purple haired kunoichi began to cry, falling on the ground among sobs.

"Nooooo please! I'm really going to become a hag by the time he lets me go!"

Tsunade then moved on to Sakura, who was fidgeting.

"And you…the damages you caused are enough to give me a headache! I expected much more from my apprentice!"

"But Onii-sama's purity was at risk!" Sakura exclaimed, "It was a necessary action!"

"I had everything under control," Naruko piped in then, "You were the one who decided to kidnap Aniki."

"I brought him to a safehouse!" Sakura rebuked her. "Like it's written on the book."

"And then you destroyed the safe house, the nearby houses, and the Icha-Icha Specialty shop," Kakashi's voice was cold and uncaring, as if someone had murdered his entire family thrice. "You need to beg forgiveness to all the lines of Tzunade-chan doing lick-lick with Ziraiya-sama!"

Tsunade was not an imbecile.

"What?"

"Uh?" Kakashi said then, hesitantly.

"No, repeat that sentence."

"And then you dest…"

"After that."

"Uh?"

"No, in between the two."

Kakashi wasn't stupid either.

He disappeared in a flicker.

"JIRAIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

Jiraiya wasn't stupid either.

He was already gone on a long trek-marathon around the Suna desert.

Tsunade calmed down after ranting for a good couple of hours about perverts and whatnot. By the time she was done, only two people were stupid enough to have remained next to her.

Naruko for one, and Shinku because he was actually afraid that, if he moved, he'd die.

"Anyway!" she grumbled. "Out of all the imbeciles, at least someone with a minimum of decorum remained! Naruko!"

"Y-Yes, baa-chan!?"

"Get this and go out to celebrate!" the next moment, a Chuunin vest found its way into Naruko's arms. "And you!"

Shinku nearly had a heart attack at having a finger of the Godaime pointed against.

"Take Shizune out for a date sometime in the week, she needs to be off my case because I need to get smashed, understood!?"

"Tsunade-samaaa!" Shizune wailed pitifully, turning crimson.

"Ah…of course?" Shinku laughed awkwardly, as he began to inch backwards.

"Good! Shizune! More sake!"

"Aniki! Let's go! Ramen party!"

Both 'caretakers' thus looked at one another with something akin to compassion, which just pissed off both blond 'charges'.

It was with such a reason that he found himself at Ichiraku, watching Naruko scarf down the sixth bowl.

"Jiji faif moth please!"

"Swallow before talking," Shinku deadpanned, exhaling. "Really," he rolled his eyes. He'd have to give her a welcome back home party another day, he supposed.

"Five more Jiji!" Naruko exclaimed. "Double pork!"

"All right, all right," Teuchi laughed brightly. Shinku just checked his wallet once more. If this kept up, he'd have to take a mortgage on the house to pay the food bill.

"Ah…I'm so jealous Naruko-chan," Ayame sighed. Her 'Tsukemen' experiment having lasted approximately the single day her father had been sick —and out of his mind. "Where do you pack away all those calories?"

"Uh? Ayame-neechan? This is ramen, not salt!"

Ayame sweat dropped. "I mean…don't you get fat eating only ramen?"

"Ohi!" Teuchi said suddenly, "No taking away customers, Ayame!"

"Uhm…" Naruko turned thoughtful. "Aniki?"

Shinku felt suddenly beneath the gaze of three different set of eyes.

One said 'Ramen is good, believe in the ramen god'.

The other was 'Ramen makes girls fat, tell her to pipe down on it'.

The third pair just looked at him with bright cerulean eyes and went something like: 'Aniki? I trust your judgment on the matter'.

He nervously chuckled.

"Ah…I think…it depends on the metabolism of the person? And well, you already exercise don't you, Naruko? So…maybe just go with more vegetable broth than meat one and ask for less salt in them?"

Naruko thought for the nano-second required to let the suggestion pass through her brain with the Aniki-stamp of approval, and then she nodded brightly.

"You heard Aniki, Jiji! Make it double pork in vegetable broth with little salt then!"

"All right," Teuchi smiled all the same.

Ayame pouted slightly but said nothing more.

Shinku felt as if he had just unlocked some sort of achievement that went 'Ding: Ramen Diplomacy Unlocked'.

He wiped away the sweat from his forehead, as he looked at the time at his wristwatch.

There was still quite a bit of time before he had his own 'inner' curfew set for. By the time they were done eating, and his wallet had begun to float away empty —not literally, of course— he watched with amusement as the girl began to run around like a headless chicken exclaiming in random bursts.

"I'm a Chuunin, Aniki! I'm a Chuunin! I did it! I'm a Chuunin! I'm a Chuunin! I did it! I did it!"

He chuckled, and called out.

"Yeah, I see the vest Naruko. Now that's one more thing to wash, I suppose."

"Uh-uh!" she didn't even try to say she'd be doing her own laundry. "I don't have much anyway Aniki, my underwear broke all off during the trip with pervert-sensei."

"Ah, of course it…wait."

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you wearing then as underwear?"

Naruko smiled. "Nothing!" she chirped happily, "I didn't go back to the old apartment last night, Aniki, so I'm without—"

"You're joking," Shinku deadpanned.

When the look he received back was of perplexity, he hung his head low. Of course, this was Naruko after all. She didn't have a 'funny' bone in her body at all.

"All right, let's head over there then."

"But my old bras don't fit any longer," she remarked jumping right next to him, cupping her chest. "I need to buy new ones anyway."

Then she turned thoughtful. "Ehi Aniki, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

"Are you more of an ass person or a breast one? A Geisha once told me, in a whorehouse, that there are different things a man likes in a—"

Shinku cracked his knuckles, chuckling darkly, emitting a dark aura of hell-on-Earth as his face darkened, and his eyes turned dark with fury.

"I'm going to kill that Toad Bastard."

Joe Black began to sprint, taking on a nice pace next to Jiraiya who was still busy doing his long-winded marathon in Sunagakure.

"Look at the clouds," another marathon runner said. "Don't they look like Frying Pans?"

Jiraiya began to sweat cold water.

"Time's running short, boy," Joe black commented. "Eventually, you'll have to face the music."

"Have mercy," Jiraiya pleaded. "All I did, I did for porn."

"Sorry, tough luck."

And with that Joe Black sprinted off.

He had a marathon to win after all.