Chapter 42.
AN: Well I have nothing to say, but everyone stop glamming, ok? If any gothic people are reading this then you rock! Omg, I still can't wait for the movie! Tom Felton is so hot, I hope Harry will become gothic because my friend told me he is really emo in this book! Oh my ****ing g*d I'm leaving Dubai pretty soon, can't wait! This will probably be the last chapter until I come back.
Actually, it's the last one ever. Also glamming? Is someone spilling glitter on her reviews?
I hope she was in Dubai, because that's the best I can come up with for 'dubyai'.
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"That's my car!" shouted Draco angrily. But suddenly, it was revealed who was in the car. It was Snape!
Actually, we already found out who was in the car literally 2 lines ago.
"I shall free you, Lupin, but first you must help me kill these idiotic dunderheads," he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumcising above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Then the Dark Lord shall never die!"
Circumcising? Was there a giant blade attached? Merlin that sounds painful…
Forget that, I'm surprised that he remembered her full name.
"You ****ing prep!" yelled Draco. Then he looked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell you, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sex with him, but he's a rapist!"
That's not something you "forget" to tell someone, surely.
Ok, if you didn't actually have sex with him, how did he make you have sex with him? Did he make you do something else?
We all put our clothes on quickly except S*tan. We were so scared! But S*tan didn't change his clothes. Instead he changed into a man with green eyes, no nose, a grey robe and white skin. He had changed into Voldemort!
*facetardis*
I think it was a more gradual change...
"I knew who you were all along," he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I will kill you all!" Thunder came into the room.
You could've just killed them all ages ago, as Voldemort, if you wanted to! But instead you fly around and threaten people badly and in Elizabethan English!
"No, please don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, Bloody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Dracula, Fred and George, Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Sirius and Lucius all ran in.
The lists of names are driving me nuts.
Lucius was already in the room! Or was it Lupin? Mr. Norris maybe?
"What is the meaning of this?" Dumbledore asked angrily and Voldemort looked away (because Dumbledore is the only wizard he is scared of). He cast a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Voldemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstick.
For what purpose? This has zero value as a battle strategy.
Problems I have with that paragraph:
1. You should say that he performed the accio spell (not sure what it's called), not a spell.
2. It's a broom. It's not flying towards him in a sexy manner.
3. How did he fly above the roof? To do this, he would have had to mount his broom, fly outside the building, soar upwards and position himself over the roof. Why would he do this? Is he running away from Dumbledore?
"Oh my goth!" Slutborn gasped. (AN: Get it, because I'm gothic.)
"The Dark Lord will kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape said menacingly.
If they're dead, they can't submit to anyone.
"You ****ing preppy f*gs!" Sirius shouted angrily.
"I know a four letter word for dirt, Cruciatus!" screamed Harry but the sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car.
What's with the 'four letter word for dirt' thing? Also, isn't 'dirt' a four-letter word already?
It fell down. Snape quickly crawled out of it and picked up the video camera.
"Oh my ****ing g*d!" I cried because the video of me in the bathroom, the video of me doing it with Draco and the video of S*tan doing it with
Satan did it with a blank piece of space, apparently.
"If you kill me, then these videos will be shown to everyone in the school. Then you can be just like that gothic girl, Paris Hillton," he laughed meanly.
Don't know much about her but I don't think she's gothic.
"No!" I screamed. "FYI, I have the picture of you doing it with Lupin!"
"What's she talking about?' Lupin asked as he sat in chains.
"I saw too, she's going to show everyone the picture!" Harry shouted angrily.
"Shut up!" Lupin roared.
First he didn't know what was going on, now he does and he's angry?
"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "You all will die soon."
THEN KILL THEM ALREADY! Also, ignoramuses?
"Think again, you ****ing muggle poser!" Harry yelled and then he and Diabolo and Neville both took out black guns! But Voldemort took out his own.
"You guys are in a Latin stand-off!" I shouted despairedly.
A certain Latin teacher of mine would weep in despair at this.
"Accio Neville's wand!" cried Voldemort and suddenly Neville's wand was in his hands. "Now I shall kill you all and Ebony will die!"
How does this achieve anything?! You have a wand! And a gun! You don't need Neville! Also, why not just kill Ebony?
Just use the disarming spell, don't bother using that spell!
He made lightning come all over the place.
I have to admit, any time anything 'comes' in this fanfic it puts dirty thoughts into my head.
"Save us, Ebony!" Dumbledore cried.
I cried sexily; I just wanted to go to the common room, and slit my wrists with my friends while we watch Shark Attack 3 and Saw 2, and do it with Draco, but I knew I had to do something more important.
Ah, just the lovely things I dream of in my spare time.
Right then. Moving on.
"Avada Kedavra!" I shouted.
Aaaaand…. That's the end! That's the end of My Immortal, and therefore also of My Immortal: Edited! Thank you so much to Alexsis for allowing me to be her co-editor and, although I'll regret this, to Tara for… well…. Her massacre of Harry Potter. I hope you all enjoyed, we certainly had a tremendous amount of fun!
No sh*t! Remember to comment and to PM me if you have a story you would like to be edited. Be sure to check some of our other stories (they're awesome!), have a great day, and keep reading!