The Boy in the Park
Chapter Sixty-Three
If she had to be honest, she had never considered her Aniki a scary person. He had always held a smile on his face, and the most perturbed he had ever been was with a scowl.
Yet, he was scary and in a way, one that she would have never suspected possible.
"You will all do this test without cheating," he said firmly. "If I catch any of you cheating, I will rip your test in front of you and keep you after school, to do it again," his eyes were gleaming pits of darkness. "If any of you even thinks about peeking at your neighbour, or about whispering to one another for hints or help, then I will drag you both through five jogs around the Academy, while forcing you to yell 'I am a Cheater' as loud as you can." He cackled maniacally.
"If anyone even has the slightest hint of as much as trying to peek at their books, or their slips of paper hastily prepared and held in their sleeves," Konohamaru swallowed nervously, and then actually swallowed said slips. "I will have you take the test again, five times, and each time the questions will be different and I will then pick the lowest grade out of them."
Finally, he smiled. "And if by some sheer luck or chance you managed to copy or cheat through the test, and I realize that…I will forever mark your grades as a solid C even where you should earn an A," he gleefully held his chalk —a black chalk— in his right hand. "Have I made myself clear!?"
"YES SIR!" the students stood to attention spontaneously.
That was how the testing began.
Naruko sweat dropped when she saw the entire student body diligently start writing on their papers without even trying to bring up their necks. They were so concentrated on writing that they didn't even bother to remove the trickles of sweat falling down their chins, or take a moment to catch their breaths —a few were actually turning blue!
"You need a gentle smile and a firm hand," Shinku said then, "Because with a gentle word and a bad mark, you earn more than with only a gentle word."
"Ah…Yes," she nervously chuckled. "Of course."
The test was completed in less than an hour, as the students who did not know the answers simply chose not to write anything —or outright fantasize about it.
The small chatter in the classroom began soon after the last test dropped on the pile, as the students talked between themselves on how they did and what answers they gave.
"You take half," Shinku said pointing to the pile. "Correct them with a pencil first and I'll check how you mark stuff."
She stiffened, before nodding quickly.
It was eerily quiet in that small bubble, as her pencil's tip scratched on the papers of the students one by one.
Quite a number of the answers riddled with bad grammar stood out, together with poor sentence structure. A few even had the commas in the wrong spots. Having edited for Pervert-Sensei, she was knowledgeable on the grammar aspects…
But the Academy stuff? Had it always been this difficult?
Calculate the trajectory a head has when it is flung by a metal bat through the air that comes at a speed of…
If a punch hits you in the stomach and the strength of blow ruptures your innards, at what speed do you vomit your bowels considering the following data…
"I usually brainstorm with Morino-san for the questions," Shinku said good-naturedly. "He wanted to become a teacher too, but the Hokage preferred him as the head of the Torture and Interrogation department."
Naruko swallowed nervously.
The students read these questions and answered to begin with?
"I see," she replied, trying to keep up her 'cool, crisp and mature' persona. She swallowed nervously. What the hell was the 'kinetic barrier associated with the air pressure'?
"Here," Shinku handed her a spread-sheet. "The answers."
She grabbed it gladly and smiled hesitantly. "Ah…well…"
"Don't worry," he shrugged ticking off a few more points from a sheet. "Konohamaru! What exactly does it entail to do a 'One-san trick' in question five?"
Konohamaru stuttered, before crossing his arms over his chest. "What's written on it, Oyabun!"
Naruko briskly looked at question five, and then sweat dropped.
You're surrounded by enemy shinobi and can reasonably count on five kunai and seven shurikens. Knowing that a kunai can kill one man and half and a shuriken can kill only half a man, what is the total number of enemy shinobi you can kill? And what is the highest number of shinobi you can wound and kill at the same time?
"I'd rather hear it out from you," Shinku deadpanned. "I do have an inkling on why you'd write 'if they're perverts I'll defeat them all' on your sheet, but I want your answer all the same."
Naruko began to sweat.
Konohamaru looked around frantically for an excuse, before he finally caved in.
Naruko mentally decided to kick Konohamaru for failing in keeping his mouth 'shut'.
"She'd use her Oiroke Technique to appear as a naked woman, plus using Kage Bunshin to make male variants for females," he meekly said. "Please don't kill me." He added as an afterthought.
"That's half a mark," Shinku remarked dryly, scribbling it down, "Because you're expecting things from the enemy and from yourself. Many times you do not get to choose the setting of the battle or your opponents, saying something 'if I had the Kage Bunshin' is wistful thinking at best, Konohamaru."
The boy nodded meekly, a loud sigh of relief escaping his lips.
"By the way, for the use of crass language and perverted attitude you'll hand me by tomorrow one hundred lines on 'I will not imitate One-san in battle'."
Konohamaru's head went 'thunk' against the surface of his desk.
"Uhm," Naruko meekly said, "Who is this 'One-san'?"
"Ah," Shinku blinked. "She's...my sister," his face brought up a fond little smile that made Naruko's heart skip a beat. "Little rascal goes around corrupting innocent children," he shook his head slowly. "Not that Konohamaru has ever been innocent to begin with."
"Sensei!" Konohamaru whined.
"Oh, shush it Koko."
"Don't call me Koko!" Konohamaru screeched like a monkey.
The lesson was over soon after that, and as she stood to leave, Aniki's voice reached her. "Uhm…is there anything you wished to ask about the lesson plan?"
"Ah, no," she shook her head. "Everything is clear, Haruno-san."
"Please, when the students are gone all teachers call each other by name."
"Shinku-san?"
"Yes," he made a brief smile, before collecting his stuff and starting to whistle.
Naruko watched him leave after saying his goodbye…and then she flickered out of the academy to the rooftop, dropped her henge, dirtied her Chuunin flak jacket, and then, finally, arrived home with her breathing ragged dry.
She dropped her jacket clearly in sight and then went for a shower.
Everything was fine now.
The moment she came down after her shower, one arm circled around her neck while the other hand came down with its devastating knuckle attack, ruffling her scalp to near-ignition.
"NARUKO!" Shinku exclaimed, "Why did you teach the Oiroke no Jutsu to Konohamaru!?"
"AH! I YIELD, ANIKI I YIELD!" she flailed her arms wildly, as her Aniki let her go after a mere huff.
"Really," he sighed, proceeding to pat her head afterwards. "I'll have to get the parents together for the 'talk' preparation."
Around Konoha, cups shattered in the hands of the fathers that held daughters in the Academy's class that Shinku taught...and a dark foreboding chill ran down their spines.
Naruko just chuckled nervously. "Sorry," she mumbled meekly, her gaze downcast as she tried to fidget with her right leg behind her left, her arms crossed behind her back to boot.
"Cut the act," Shinku rolled his eyes. "It's all right, just remember to keep an eye out for young impressionable minds out there that might learn questionable techniques."
"Will do, Aniki sir!" she mocked the 'salute' and then sat down, resting her head on the side of the table. "I'm hungryyy…"
"Food's incoming," Shinku's voice came from the corner of the kitchen.
Naruko smiled with her eyes half-closed.
Aniki wouldn't know what was about to hit him!
Author's notes
Fluff.
Fluff.
Fluffy death incomiiiinggg.