Disclaimer: I own none of the movies, songs, or person(s) mentioned in this chapter.

"What?! I do not look like Brooke Shields!"

Jareth sighed, but couldn't stop an amused grin from creeping across his face. How had they gotten into this silly mess?

Oh yes, his lovely wife, Sarah, had decided to entertain herself today by having a 1980's romance movie marathon.

Sarah loved movie marathons!

Every few weeks, she'd have a marathon featuring a specific film genre. With just a wave of her magical hand, the Goblin Queen would conjure up a fancy television set that could play any pre-existing movie or television show she wanted. Their goblin subjects would bring them food and anything else they needed and their fay blood kept them awake and attentive for hours.

The two monarchs had made it through Moonstruck, Valley Girl, Arthur, Overboard, Footloose, and had almost finished 9 1/2 Weeks before taking a break to...reenact a few 'scenes'.

Afterwards, they'd watched An Officer and a Gentleman and were about two-thirds of the way through The Princess Bride when Sarah had begun pointing out random similarities between the character Westley, and Jareth.

At first it had been silly, inconsequential things such as the blonde hair, the accent, the cocky attitude, and black gloves; but when she had pointed out the "eyes like the sea after a storm" line, Jareth had stopped the film and requested an explanation.

"It's nothing," she clarified, "It's just that your eyes remind me of that too, sometimes, and you do kind of act like Westley."

Jareth didn't understand the comparison at all. He was a king, not a farm boy turned wise-cracking, roguish pirate.

They then resumed their marathon and watched Romancing the Stone, Sixteen Candles, and Top Gun before Sarah made another, rather brazen, comparison between him and Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing and Jareth had to stop the film again.

"I don't find your idea of my having the 'same butt' at that dancing fool at all amusing, precious."

Sarah giggled.

"I'm just saying that you both have an incredibly sexy ass!"

"If you're going to use these marathons as an excuse for shameless voyeurism, then perhaps we've seen quite enough for today." Jareth's voice was petulant.

"Jareth...are you jealous?"

"Certainly not!"

"You are! You are so jealous!" Sarah squealed with laughter.

"Shut up."

"You do recall that I am you wife, right? And that Johnny Castle is a fictional character?" Sarah asked.

"I'm well aware of your status, but let's not forget that, from a certain perspective, YOU married a fictional character so it stands to reason that I would be..."

"Jealous?" His wife grinned.

"…displeased, with your ogling another male, even if he is 'fictional' by your standards."

"Uh-huh. Well trust me, Goblin King. You have nothing to worry about because all the characters and actors have no effect on me. My basis for comparison is just too...otherworldly." She quipped, kissing his cheek softly.

After that interlude, the royal couple resumed with Bull Durham, When Harry Met Sally..., Look Who's Talking, Jewel of the Nile, and Pretty in Pink.

They had been in the middle of concluding the marathon with Blue Lagoon when Sarah suddenly went off on a celebrity look-alike tangent featuring her poor husband, conjuring crystals with images of celebrities Jareth had never heard of, which was all of them.

After about fifteen minutes, he finally decided to give his little wife a taste of her own medicine by casually commenting about the physical resemblance between her and the actress onscreen.

She had nearly flipped her lid.

"I mean no offense, love, though I don't quite understand your indignation. She's quite lovely, for a human."

"She has caterpillars for eyebrows!" Sarah wailed.

"That hardly makes her a hag. As I understand it, that particular facial feature is perfectly alterable."

"Her face is too square and she has a weird smile!" Sarah whined. "At least my comparisons were accurate!"

"You said my hair looked like Bone Javi."

"Bon Jovi," his queen corrected, "and I said it was lighter and straighter, but still pretty close."

"What about that Alice Cooper character? You said it dresses like me." Disgust colored Jareth's tone.

"Well yeah, kind of; and Alice Cooper is not an it, he's a he!"

"Well then, I think that you look kind of like Ms. Brooke Shields." He stated flippantly.

"No!" His wife moaned. "I don't want her to be my celebrity look-alike! Come on, Jareth! Isn't there anyone else you think I look like?"

Jareth stared at her for a long moment; his eyes were alight with mischief, before answering.

"Jennifer Connelly."

Sarah blinked.

"Who?"

"Jennifer Connelly." He smirked. "Remember your last marathon? We watched all those horror films and there was one called Phenomena. It was about a serial killer at a Swiss boarding school, remember? Ms. Connelly starred in it."

"Jareth, she was fourteen years old!" Sarah sounded appalled.

"I asked you to marry me when you were only fifteen."

She punched his shoulder.

"Cradle-robbing pervert!"

"Oh, I disagree. Remember, that peach dream was inspired by your fantasies, precious; and since I'm over two-thousand years old, and you married me anyway, that makes you a grave-robbing pervert."

"I married you seven years later!"

He shrugged.

"Same difference."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Come, come, come my queen. Why don't you forget the age aspect and have a look at what Ms. Connelly looks like in present time?"

Sarah gave the Goblin King an exasperated look before conjuring a crystal to catch a glimpse of 1994 Jennifer Connelly. After a pregnant pause, she sighed and the crystal popped.

"Fine, she can be my celebrity look-alike; she's pretty." She grumbled in defeat.

"You're practically twins." Her husband chuckled.

"Don't push it. I can act better than she can, though."

"Not when you were fifteen." Jareth muttered under his breath but still loud enough for the Goblin Queen to hear.

"Excuse me? Oh, that does it, mister! I didn't want to tell you this, but you wanna to know who I think your real celebrity look-alike is? David Bowie!" Sarah proudly exclaimed.

"David who?"

"David Bowie, he's a rock star like Bone Javi-, I mean BON JOVI!"

"Really now?"

"Yes, really now." Sarah mocked and conjured a crystal. The second the image became clear, she shoved the crystal under Jareth's nose. "See?"

Jareth jumped back not half a second after focusing on the image.

"What in blazes is that ugly woman wearing?!"

Sarah grinned in triumph. She'd picked the Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie.

"That's not a woman, that's David Bowie and for your information, he's gorgeous." She advanced on her king, still holding the crystal out to him.

"Come on, Jareth. Look at his eyes, the pupils don't match! Just like yours."

"Sarah get that thing away from me!" Jareth started backing away.

"You're practically twins!" Sarah mimicked.

"Stop! Wait-"

"Same nose."

"No."

"Same jaw."

"No."

"Same teeth."

"NO!"

"Same voice."

"NO!"

"Oh, and just look at the size of his pack-"

"NO!"

Sarah snapped her fingers and two things happened simultaneously: first the David Bowie crystal disappeared; second, Jareth's hair and clothes changed into the Ziggy Stardust costume.

Jareth was too stunned to move, let alone speak, until his wife started hysterically laughing her head off.

Igniting his magic, Jareth mentally demanded to change back to his original clothing.

Nothing happened.

"Sarah! Sarah! What have you done? Why can't I change back?"

"I re-ordered time, so you'd stay like that for a little while." She managed to gasp out between giggles.

His jaw dropped open in shock.

"Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with weird and gilly..." Sarah sang, tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks.

Jareth's face hardened.

Oh, she was going to pay dearly for this.

"Sarah..." He growled low in his throat, taking a step towards her.

"...and the spiders from mars. He played it left hand-EEK!"

Sarah had cut off, dodging the Goblin King as he lunged for her. She immediately spun on her heel and sprinted out of their royal library turned media room, Jareth in hot pursuit.

Elsewhere in the castle: Hoggle, Sir Didymus, and Ludo had arrived for a scheduled visit and were currently roaming the halls trying to locate their queen.

"Damn Escher room." Hoggle grumbled. "I told ya we went the wrong way!"

"Fret not Sir Dwarf! I swear on my life: we shall navigate these castle halls and find our way to her highness forthwith!"

The dwarf rolled his eyes.

"Sawa!" Ludo suddenly bellowed happily.

Hoggle and Sir Didymus turned around to see Ludo poking his head through a narrow archway to their left. Pushing past the loveable fur ball, they saw that the archway opened up in the middle of a long corridor, and their queen running through it at full speed.

"This is ground control to Major Tom, you've really made the grade..." Sarah sang over her shoulder, as the fled down the hall.

"What the devil?" Hoggle whispered to his companions. "Has she lost her-?"

At that moment, a very... eccentrically dressed...figure came around the corner at the end of the hallway, chasing after the half singing/half laughing Goblin Queen.

"SARAH! CHANGE ME BACK TO NORMAL THIS INSTANT!"

"This is our last dance! This is ourselves under pressure!" Was her only reply as she passed the archway and rounded the corner at the other end of the stone hall.

"SARAH, DON'T DEFY ME!" Jareth shouted, rushing after her.

The three friends stood in silence as their king vanished around the corner. No one spoke or moved a muscle for a long minute.

"It appears that her highness is quite...indisposed at the moment, perhaps we should postpone-"

"Oh, just go!" Hoggle grunted, pushing his friends back the way they came. He desperately hoped that they wouldn't have another run-in between here and the exit.

"King dwessed funny!"

"Shut up!"

A/N: Thoughts? The more reviews, the faster the updates!