Chapter 3

Ashley POV

"That day I lost my dad but gain another. He gave me something to hope for, to live for. He taught me to believe in myself, to love myself again"

"God Ash you're so cheesy sometimes"

I punch Aiden on the arm.

"And violent too. I was just kidding. So what are your plans, Lily?"

"Ew, don't call me that"

"You love it" He pinched my cheeks and laugh.

"You know, I really want to meet her, like actually talk to her but I can't"

"I'm wandering when did you exactly 'see' her?"

Flashback

I feel so nervous sitting here at the waiting room, waiting for my very first session with my angel. I get up and pace around the room. Why do I feel nervous? It's not like I'm going to meet him the first time. He visited me every day when I was in the hospital. Sitting there staring at me waiting for me to open up which I immediately do. I don't normally do that to people I just met but something with Arthur Carlin brings it out.

The door in his office opened up. "Come in Ashley. Stop pacing around, you're starting to leave marks on my carpet" He laughed. I smiled at him and with that instantly changed my mood.

I step inside his office and look around. It's full of pictures of blonde children smiling. I'm assuming they're his children. I pick up a frame that captures my eye, in it Arthur is hugging the most beautiful blonde girl I have ever seen. Her smile was captivating. Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I had ever seen. My heart is beating fast as I look at her eyes, at her smile, at her hair, at her.

"That's my daughter, Spencer. She's a huge fan of yours"

I put the frame back to its place.

"Really?"

"Yea, I actually brought her your first album. She played on particular song over and over for a week. Reflection, I think? My wife and son were starting to get sick of it" I smiled as he reminisced. I sat down on a chair, a hard smile on my face.

"It wouldn't be the first time someone got sick of me or my music"

He watched me as if I said something horrible. "Why do you do that Ashley? Why do you belittle yourself like that?"

"So it begins. You don't waste your time do you Mr Carlin? I've been to a few shrinks to see what you're trying to do"

"What am I trying to do Ashley? Aren't we friends? Can't we share things?"

"We are. I feel I can share everything with you. You make me feel safe"

"The feeling is mutual Ashley but you're avoiding my question?"

"What question?" I smirked

"Ok I'm going to ask again then. Why do you put yourself down?"

"I'm just saying how it is"

"Do you really believe that?"

"Then tell me Mr Carlin. If there's nothing wrong with me, why do people easily give up and leave me? Explain to me why I'm alone?"

"You're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you Ashley. If people can't see how talented, smart and witty you are it's their loss"

"It's ok Mr Carlin. You don't have to say those kind words. I'm used to it. That's how it always is and will be"

"You don't have to get used to it, you know?"

What can I tell him? Do I tell him how pathetic my life is? How miserable my life has become? How lonely I am? How I can be successful and rich but don't have anyone to share it with. How I may be surrounded by people but still feel lonely and alone? I wouldn't, I shouldn't, No, I can't tell him. Silence was the only reply I can give until he broke it.

"You kind of remind me of my daughter. I was worried about her. She used to be a loner, had no friends, she would lock herself inside her room and I know how she's been struggling in school and struggling to find herself. It all changed the day I brought her your album. She had someone to look up to, it inspire her to be herself and to accept who she is who she wanted to be. Your music, your words and you helped her to realize who she is. You changed her. You, Ashley Davies, meant something to someone"

Tears begin to fall as I try to absorb the kind words my angel has said to me. I can't describe how grateful I am for him, for her. Without me knowing, something inside me is building, is awakening, and is trying to be free, trying to push its way on the surface, trying to break free from the walls I created in my heart, in my soul, in me. Little do I know it was changing me