My dearest Miles,
If you are reading this, it means I am gone and Alex has found you. Please forgive me for not telling you this in person. I wasn't strong enough, even when I saw you in town a few days ago.
Since the power went out, my priority, as it has been for so long, has been Alex. To keep her safe from harm and the unlawfulness that has come about. We left the cities, as many did and found our way to a small refugee camp east of Chicago, although I can't be exactly sure where. A friendly couple gave us help and we stayed with them, settling at the place you know as Johnston. It became home.
For nearly 8years, life was simple and for the most part, we were not bothered by the rising Monroe republic. Then last month, Rebels came through and the Militia followed. You followed. I could barely believe it when I saw you leading them. Not even in my worst nightmares did I ever imagine you leading a group of merciless killers. I know Sebastian was your best friend but my heart still broke knowing what you had become.
Before the power went off, I had hoped that one day I could tell you about Alex, that one day you could be a part of her life. Even after the power died I held out a small hope. But seeing you in town with that harsh look in your eyes made me realise you could never be the kind of man Alex needed, especially while you work for Sebastian and his republic.
However, for some reason, I still feel the need to explain some things. The journal will hopefully answer any questions you have. You know how I like journals. Talk to Ben and Rachael too. Don't be angry with them. Or Alex. She knows about you especially that you have a heart of gold, even though it's hard to see.
I hope you can one day forgive me for keeping this from you. Not telling you about Alex was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew she was on the way when we parted. My only thought was her safety and happiness and it was clear she wouldn't be with you like you were. I'm so sorry Miles. Please know I will always love you, even after death has taken me. My one regret is that we couldn't be together. Be safe, my love and try to listen to that heart of yours and love our baby angel.
Angela