Chapter Thirteen: Solace

After what I'd just witnessed, I felt like I needed a stiff drink. I left Hayden's wife's company discreetly, figuring she'd want some time to herself for a while to come to grips with things. I wondered if she regretted her decision to see Oliver's body now, but I wasn't going to ask. I knew Courtney Hayden would tell me if she wanted to, and if not, then it wasn't something I needed to know.

The elevator pinged sharply when it reached the third deck and I stepped off the platform, turning right in the hallway to head down the corridor towards the senior officer's wardroom. I knew my way there by heart now, and it took only a few more minutes to get there. Once inside, I reached around the bar for my favorite bottle of whiskey and poured myself a hearty glass, then set the bottle back where I got it.

I didn't take it into the rec room this time. Instead, I carried it over to a set of worn but soft leather chairs and sunk down into one, careful not to spill my drink. After a moment I took my first sip and let out a sigh, relishing the comfortable seat after so many days on my feet dirtside. As I took another swallow of the strong liquor, I had to admit that this was one of the better perks of having been made a lieutenant colonel.

The wardroom was thankfully empty at the moment, which was one of the reasons I'd chosen to remain here rather than move to the rec room. It was tranquil here, quiet, and I could be alone with my thoughts – or escape them, given enough drink – and not have to talk to anyone else for a while.

That was my idea, anyway. I was alone for all of ten minutes, lost in my thoughts – or perhaps trying to lose them – when I heard a voice come from behind me.

"Command weighing heavy on you already, Cooper?" Captain Rhodes asked. He smiled faintly as he walked over to the bar, too, to pour himself a drink. "Brace yourself, Colonel. It only gets worse the higher you go."

I immediately stood at attention at his presence and saluted, almost tossing my drink. "Captain Rhodes, sir. I wasn't expecting you here."

"Heh. Neither was I. But sometimes we surprise ourselves, huh?" He took a sip from his glass, then turned around to regard me. "At ease, Colonel. How're things going groundside? That last report I got from your spook seemed to indicate that you were making progress."

"Yes, sir. That's…not exactly what brings me here. Although, God knows things on the surface haven't been easy. But we're doing all right, for now."

The CO of the Suave Affair nodded, then gestured to my cup. "So why the drink?"

"Major Hayden was my best friend, sir. And today I just found out his wife was aboard the Excalibur that just arrived. She'd already found out in transit that she was a widow, but…today I think it really sunk in. It was hard to watch, sir. Our families have been friends for years."

"I understand. It's hard to lose a battle buddy. Even harder to see the toll his death takes on his wife and kids." He took another drink. "I also imagine you miss being able to share your command burden with someone."

"He was a great help to me when we first landed on Khan, sir," I responded. "I'm no stranger to battlefields or leadership; I know how to do my job. But before this mission I'd spent the last four years after the War living a pretty cushy life on Earth with my family. No combat for a long while, just reconstruction work in North America." I took a sip and shook my head, remembering a life that seemed far away now. "I got to go home every day and usually had the weekends off. Hayden was five years older than me, already more experienced with a battalion command, and he'd spent most of his time after the war fighting the rebs here in the Outer Colonies. He was damn near perfect for the job, sir."

"Except for the fact that he wasn't at all diplomatically inclined," Rhodes countered. "And without your alliance with the locals, which I know from numerous after-action reports was entirely your doing, I believe you would have lost the battle on the mainland against the Remnant." He leaned back against the bar. "And with that, your forces would have been divided, decimated, and wholly weakened for when the Prometheans finally arrived. You would've been surrounded on all sides by enemies, and even an extra battalion of Marines from the Excalibur wouldn't have helped." He fixed his gaze on me now. "So do you still doubt your qualifications and abilities?"

"Not publicly, sir."

The Navy captain chuckled. "That's a good answer, Cooper. But in all seriousness, don't question your promotion too much. I know why the admiral chose to give you this, and I know why I put in a good word myself. Not everyone has the guts to face the rebels as you have – or the drive to keep doing what they know is right in the long run for their men despite the personal attacks Laraza has made against you." He finished his drink then, set the glass on the bar behind him, and walked over to squeeze my shoulder before he left. "You may be a bit young for the job, Cooper, but no ones believes you're incapable. Your track record suggests anything but. I know it's not an easy burden to carry on your own. I know you still mourn the loss of your friend. But this mission was meant for you, Colonel."

Captain Rhodes left me immediately after that to contemplate his words. Yet as I sat back down in the chair once he was gone, I thought again of Hayden's wife and her breakdown instead, and found it was all too much to try to take in at once. I downed the rest of my drink in one gulp and walked out.

I realized then that I wasn't going to find consolation in drink or reassuring words. I was going to find it where I always had, throughout the years and before I'd even joined the Marine Corps. I was going to find it with Willis.

I found him lounging in our bunk in our quarters, dressed only in a T-shirt, the pants of his fatigues, dogtags, and socks. I noticed he'd shaved his beard and trimmed his short, golden brown hair while I'd been gone, to keep with regulations. He glanced up and gave me a small smile when he saw me come in.

"Hey, Cooper."

"Hi, Will."

He moved to get up when he saw me coming towards the bed, but I motioned for him to stay put.

"Don't get up," I said. "I need a quick rest, too."

I walked over to the desk then to pull off my jacket and boots, gently rubbing the spot on my upper left arm where the bandage still covered my wound, now steadily healing. Then I saw it.

A smile spread wide across my face as I spotted a piece of dessert and an unlit candle on the small table. The candle was the number fourteen, denoting not the date we were belately celebrating, but the number of years we'd been together as a couple now. With the memory of what Courtney Hayden had just gone through fresh in my mind, I felt luckier than ever that we'd made it this far without tragedy cutting our time short. It was bittersweet, though, because of what I knew my friend was going through. But I tried not to let those dismal thoughts ruin the moment.

From the bed, my husband smiled, too. "That's my belated Valentine's Day present, Coop. Turns out there's no fresh flowers or heart-shaped boxes of chocolate on board…but there is chocolate cake if you ask the cooks nicely enough."

For a moment I just stood there with a dumbfounded grin, hardly believing the goody he'd managed to procure for us. I quirked an eyebrow at him, still smiling. "How did you – ?"

Willis chuckled. "Nope, not telling, Cooper. That's my secret."

And in the moment I didn't care. I went right over to the bunk, crawled over Willis, and gave him a long, passionate kiss. He kissed me back with equal fervor, and it was several minutes before we finally pulled back and came up for air again.

When we did, my husband was smirking at me. "Like the cake?"

"Love it," I answered, and I leaned down and kissed him again.

"Good. Let's go eat it."

I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him as he started to get up again. "Wait a sec. Not yet. Turn over a little."

Willis raised an eyebrow at me but did as I asked. Once he was lying on his side with his back to me, I settled in behind him on the bed and put my arm around him. I slipped my left hand underneath the bottom of his T-shirt then and slowly slid it up until I got to his chest, where his heart was. There I stopped, laying my hand flat against his warm skin, and lightly pressed my lips behind his ear.

"I love you, Will," I whispered to him softly. "So much. Don't forget that."

My husband placed his own left hand on mine over his shirt then, our wedding rings touching now between the fabric. Then he said, just as quiet, "I love you, too, Natalie."