Part 2 of the night of the party.
I believe the stories kind of write themselves, and I can't fight this one; so, the night of the party will have a part 3, and I'm not sure of how many chapters we'll have, anymore, once things got a lot more detailed than I had thought they would.
Evidence
Chapter 16: Saying
The party had been over for one hour, now, and CC was still pouting over the fact she had to go to the guest room alone.
Damn Niles disappeared while she and Maxwell cheered over their accomplishments for the night. What did he have to do that was more important than being there to pretend she needed to be guided through the house?
(It was unnecessary, but she enjoyed it a lot just to spend time with him – especially because both knew it was unnecessary; thus, it was clear they were together in these moments because they really wanted to.
He always did it, and it had turned into a kind of ritual, for them, when she did sleepovers: he would go to the office and ask her if she really had to stay, and mention some absurd problem she would be causing; she would answer calling him a name or giving a more elaborate answer, depending on her mood; he would throw some zinger back while he invited her to follow him.
And that is why, even in times when she would prefer not to go to bed and stay working, she would do what he suggested, exchanging happily some hours of work for some minutes of bantering with him while walking together until they reached her door.)
CC was still annoyed and confused by some things that happened tonight, and the fact her favorite butler was remiss of his duties left her restive.
For example, that old lady who was a first time investor: she said she had found CC lovely and insisted in putting money in her work, whatever the blonde decided to produce.
What the hell did she mean by lovely? CC Babcock is usually called a lot of things, and lovely surely isn't among them…
The businesswoman was generally surprised when someone said something positive about her, but tonight it felt even stranger, because she didn't even try to be nice or agreeable; she was a bit edgy, and just listened to half of what the woman was saying.
(It occurred to her that being spontaneous created a good vibe around a person. It explained why, in a moment when she didn't put much effort into being nice, the old woman found her trustworthy.
She dismissed the thought as being too much to ponder about while she was feeling so disappointed as she was right now.)
Back to the things in her mind during the party, CC could barely believe how she managed to function as a businesswoman:
-she had been so busy organizing this party for the last days that she didn't have a moment with Niles. All she did for three days was making lists of guests, discussing details with Maxwell, calling people, defining the hour, calling more people, reading contracts, discussing the menu with Maxwell, Niles and (God only knows why) Nanny Fine, checking the guests' list and calling even more people;
-she had missed Niles so terribly she thought of calling him Monday night, just to hear his voice. She didn't do it, because somehow she knew it would not be enough. However, he called her on Tuesday, pretending he had to ask her something about the menu, and she carried her phone to her bed and their conversation lasted one ridiculous (and delicious) hour;
-she discovered it bothered her when she saw the disappointed look on his face every time they were in the same room in the mansion, but couldn't be alone for a single moment, with that house always full of crazy people;
-she had been dealing with Maxwell obsessively asking her things about the party just to make sure it would be appropriate to bring his Nanny;
-and, to top it all, that old woman who found her engaging moved so slowly CC was sure she would stop, tilt and fall to her side at any moment…
So, the business night was a success, but the price had been high: she was tired and restless, a very bad combination.
To her own annoyance, after she showered, applied some body lotion, put her pajamas and combed her hair, CC sat on the guestroom bed and kept her ears tuned to the corridor.
She knew she should simply lay down, relax and sleep, but she couldn't stop thinking of Niles.
(She had been thinking of him, in fact, often. And it was worse since last Sunday, after that conversation that connected them so much.
And, being in a room he had prepared for her, with a red rose on her pillow and a mocking handkerchief with the scent of Lemon Bowl Fresh in the nightstand, he made it difficult for her not to miss him even more.)
Suddenly, she started hearing doors opening and, after some moments, closing; she made an effort to distinguish voices, but the walls were too thick for it.
Huffing, CC got up and went close to her own door.
She was feeling lucky: the family was probably all in bed, as the Nanny; maybe what she was hearing was Niles, making rounds on the second floor, before he went to his own room, downstairs.
Maybe he was coming to see her, planning to exchange decent barbs and keep something of that craving for each other at bay.
(At least, she expected he shared that craving with her. It seemed impossible that he didn't, but CC asked herself sometimes if it was believable that they could be so in sync all the time, as they seemed to be.)
She kept listening in expectation, noticing that, after the last closing door, she could feel steps on the floor, that stopped close to her door, and nothing more.
Was it him? Was it not?
(It was getting really ridiculous.)
She couldn't wait any longer, and did what she felt was right.
(Spontaneity rules!)
She opened her own door ajar, in a quick move.
And there Niles was, so close of her door it was obvious he had been preparing himself to knock.
(And hesitating, as herself.)
CC noticed he was tired, by the loose knot of his tie, his open coat open and his undone hair.
He is handsome when he is tired. I could easily just snuggle with him for a relaxing night…
The soft smile he had, and the way he blinked as soon as he saw her made her almost forget her disappointment and go to his arms.
Almost.
She crossed her arms, 'Finally we meet. Where were you?'
He indicated the other doors with his head, 'I was checking on people'.
'For one whole hour?'
He raised a brow and answered, seriously, 'Careful, Babcock, or I'll think you've missed me'.
She bit her lip and tried not to sound whiny, 'I'm just surprised you didn't have time to check on me, with all the dangerous things you know I'm able to do'.
'I didn't intend checking on you', he smirked, 'After all, I've said I was checking on people'.
'You should be more careful', she squinted at him, 'Letting me by myself is not safe'.
'I would say it is not right', he said and quickly cleared his throat at the smile his double-talking had provoked in her, 'Kids, for example, should not be alone for a lot of time. Someone must take a look at them'.
'They are not small children, anymore'.
He grinned, 'Does it make them unattractive to your kind?'
She scowled, 'Besides, they have a father and a nanny'.
'And a butler', he retorted, serious again.
She noticed he was not comfortable talking about it now, and decided not to pursue the subject, 'Were they asleep and all right?'
'Yes', he answered softly, 'As yourself should be'.
'Not joking about my nocturnal habits? I'm disappointed with you', she said with the hint of a teasing smile, relieved to being able to express her feelings in some way.
He stayed looking at her, realizing her implication and visibly resisting the temptation of getting closer and take her disappointment away, 'I'm sorry I seem to be loosing my touch. I'm really tired', he made a thinking face, and raised a finger, as if asking a question, 'Would it be enough by now if I told you I'm not used to be scared in dark corridors, as you just did to me, and that it made me incapable of a good retort?'
She smiled, 'It's far from your best, but I know the last days had been long. I'm tired, too'.
CC saw the fondness on his face at her understanding, and this time he did put his hands on his back, refraining again from reaching for her.
She had an urge of making him surrender, and gave a step forward. One more step and she would be in his arms.
She didn't do it. She stopped and waited.
Niles looked her from head to feet and the way back, gulped down and breathed deeply to control himself, 'I'm sorry for not being up for our games. I must say, however, that you smell great and are beautiful tonight'.
She bit her lower lip to hide the grin, 'Thank you. I'm glad you liked the scent. And, about being beautiful', she made a gesture to her silk deep red pajamas, 'I believe you mean I was'.
'I mean you were and you are. I think you're beautiful no matter what you wear', he inclined a bit into her direction, 'It's like seeing different sides of you'.
CC just blinked at that, and Niles went back to his previous position.
It was getting difficult.
He sighed, 'I wish I had the strength to give you the attention you deserve, after our… draft… But I feel drained'.
Is this the moment when I tell him I just want him close to me? Is this the moment when I admit I need him so badly it's enough to watch him sleep?
'Good night, Miss Babcock', he whispered at her silence and wide eyes.
She pulled him by the tie, 'Good night, Niles'.
She kept just looking at him for some moments, as if giving him time to prepare.
Then, CC closed her eyes and touched her lips on his.
His hands came to her sides and both opened their mouths, letting their passion and missing and despair of expressing everything pour into the kiss.
When they parted (too soon for both of them), she let go of his tie and walked backwards until she could touch her door.
She turned, entered the room and almost slammed the door behind her.
It was getting difficult.
ncncncncnc
Niles went to his room and paced back and forth, so agitated he couldn't think clearly.
He had had the hardest three days of his life, being close to Babcock and not able to reach her.
After that conversation on Sunday, he had so much hope in him that it was a torture not being able to be alone with her and…
Just be alone with her. It would be enough.
He didn't know what he wanted from her, but surely it involved being by themselves and having the time they needed to figure out how they could deal with this craving for each other.
He grew so restive he hurriedly went to his bathroom to take a shower and not think about the blonde in the guestroom.
Niles spent a good part of his shower just letting the hot water fall on his shoulders and back, trying to easy the tension, there.
Why was it he didn't tell her he wanted to be with her? Why was it he had not told her it was enough to spend the night hugging her, as it had been at Sylvia's?
This story had started because it seemed enough, for him. Why couldn't he say it, now?
Deep inside, Niles knew why; however, even if he was being spontaneous, there was no way he would have the courage to tell her such a thing.
He could tell her he liked her; he could tell her he admired her.
He had already said he lusted after her bossy ways.
He had even told her he found her beautiful no matter what she was wearing.
But he couldn't simply say that he didn't know where this would take them – he just knew he wanted to be closer to her.
It implied lots of things he was sure she was not ready to hear.
She said she liked when I called her 'Love'. She even said it back.
Maybe she wants it as much as I do.
But what if she doesn't? What if I scare her? What if she pushes me away?
Tonight, she barely looked at me. Probably, because she was ashamed of me.
She wanted to see me, after the party.
Just when everybody was in bed and she was sure no one would see us.
She wants us to be alone, as I do, but our reasons may be very different.
Niles turned off the water and grabbed his towel, feeling dejected.
He entered his room, took and wore a short sleeved white t-shirt and shorts and went to bed.
He got on his back and covered himself, trying to relax. He was tired, and he just had to close his eyes and was sure sleep would claim him.
Of course, it didn't happen.
His body felt tense.
He opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling.
At the party, when he had got close to Miss Babcock and didn't know what to do, he felt like his feelings were misplaced. It had seemed easy to be with her but, suddenly, it was not, anymore.
He spent the rest of the event as far from her as he could. Afterwards, he even busied himself for almost an hour in the kitchen, as if he needed to clean everything after the hired waiters had left.
However, he felt the need to be physically close to her hitting him hard, and decided to go upstairs and check on people before he went to bed.
He didn't know if he would have the courage to knock on her door, with all the mixed feelings he had about that night, but he really needed to have the opportunity to wander around her.
(It was ridiculous, but that was the kind of thing he had been doing...)
So, when he finished the cleaning on the already clean kitchen, he went to see if his boss needed anything, stopped by the three kids' rooms and was planning to skip Miss Fine's (she had been giving him weird stares, tonight, and he was too tired and confused for any difficult conversation), and he stopped in front of the guestroom door, not sure again of what to do.
They had been close, lately... But the party made him remember they were apart for a lot of things. Maybe he should just go to his room and forget about it for tonight.
She was probably sound asleep at that hour.
She should be. She had been working as hard as him. Probably more, with all the stress of dealing with anxious Mister Sheffield and other difficult rich people.
He resisted the urge to open the door silently and peek at her.
He resisted the urge to raise a hand and rest his palm on the wooden door, as if he believed he would be able to feel her through it.
He was conflicted and almost hurting at all the possibilities going through his head when, suddenly, the door opened and Babcock appeared in front of him.
She had been waiting for him. The look on her face told him it was not a coincidence.
He felt relieved when he saw her. He felt energized when she demanded to know why he hadn't come to see her.
She seemed to be everything he needed, and still he resisted the pull of bringing her to his arms and asking her to stay with him.
He felt like he could never let her go if he took her.
And he was not sure if she wanted it.
Niles had started saying something, telling her he felt like they had a draft, and that he was unfortunately too tired for their games.
Her reaction was stunned silence.
He supposed she didn't know what to say, and he feared he had said something wrong. That is why he said good night – he had to finish that conversation before he said something he would regret, after being left aside by her for the whole evening.
When she grabbed him by the tie to have a goodnight kiss, he felt like his soul was being invaded by a kind of bliss he knew just that single person on Earth could give him.
When she closed her door, hiding from him as he had wished to hide from her, he still stayed there, his hands over his mouth, his heart beating madly, not having a clue of what to do.
Not even spontaneity could help him, now: a part of him was yelling he had to run, go to his room and end the evening before anything terrible happened; another part of him told him he had to open that door, enter and tell her whatever came into his mind.
And another part wished he could stay there and wait until she opened the door again and came into his arms.
Niles chose to escape and have some time. He needed to think. But, first of all, he needed to calm down.
Now, lying on his bed, all he could do was chastise himself: she didn't have any obligation to want him as much as he wanted her; he shouldn't be loosing his sleep over it.
And, still, at the party, when he didn't know what to do around her, he knew exactly what he wanted her to do.
He wanted her to acknowledge him, to look at him and share a moment: it didn't matter if she would grin proudly at what they had built together for this event, or glare in a playful pretense of despise for him.
He needed anything but that stare that lasted one short moment and was back to see through him.
Just two days ago he had been hurt because Babcock had said to Miss Fine she didn't believe they could last; now, he was restless because he wished she could treat him as someone especial to her in every situation...
Since when was he this emotional wreck?
He was being foolish. He should have waited for her to finish discussing business things with her partner and then provoked her until she followed him to the guestroom. Even if he didn't intend to enter with her, they would have had some moments together, and he wouldn't be there, suffering in silence, now.
Niles sat up: maybe he should go to the guest room and ask her if she was comfortable, if she had noticed the rose and the handkerchief, claim that he must be going through andropause and that please, please, please, he couldn't sleep if she didn't hug him tight, so he would be sure everything was all right between them, even in a night when he had been just the butler and she, the successful businesswoman…
(He knew he was overreacting.)
Maybe he should do some gesture that could make it up for him not playing with her tonight.
What could send the message that he still wanted it?
Who am I trying to fool? What I want to know is how can I make sure she still wants it.
Wants me.
He supported his back on the head of the mattress, letting the covers go to his waist. Whatever he was going to do, it had to be something quick to prepare – it was already late, and he wouldn't want to risk discovering how cranky she can be when awaken in the middle of the night.
(Or does he want to discover how she feels when awaken in the middle of the night?
Last time, she just got closer to him and slept again.)
Niles started getting a bit depressed by the realization he didn't have a lot to offer: he has been offering her food and comfort, and maybe he was out of options too early in this... relationship.
He could not blame her for looking through him. He was not that much to look at, really.
Dear God, now I'm depressed. Next thing I'll be back to that idea of buying self-steam tapes…
There was a light knock on his door, followed by it opening just enough to let pass a whisper, 'Hazel?'
Niles smiled fondly. Nothing was more Babcock than whispering names, 'Come in'.
She entered and closed the door behind her silently, locking it. She turned to him, who was removing his covers, and gestured for him to stop, 'Stay in bed'.
She approached the bed, assessed the situation and decided to sit by the side of his covered feet.
Niles grinned, trying to hide his excitement, 'Well, make yourself comfortable'.
She looked around in fake awe, 'So, this room is a parallel universe', she mused and then looked at him with a smirk, 'One in which you are a gentleman'.
He squinted at her, 'It means you used your magic powers and went through a dimensional portal just to tease me'.
'I'd do it, if it was necessary', she winked at him and then was serious, 'But tonight I came because I couldn't sleep'.
'Neither could I'.
'So I see'.
They kept facing each other. She licked her lips and moved to get comfortable, her feet now on the bed, her legs along with his.
Niles felt suddenly hot on his white t-shirt.
(Just because he had seen her socking feet on his bed and found the scene a fulfilling fantasy about them being so intimate she would be totally at ease and comfortable while in his bed.)
He cleared his throat, 'What do you think is happening?'
'About what?'
Niles noticed she had spoke softly, her tone showing she was a bit distracted by their positions, too, and answered in a whisper, 'Sleeping deluding both of us'.
She leaned her head, 'I think we miss our games'.
He just raised his brows.
She clarified, 'We almost didn't talk to each other decently, in the last days; so, no teasing'.
He nodded.
'The party was very boring – we didn't manage to have any time for us'.
He was barely able to hide his relief at this. So, she had felt something was wrong, too.
'And, when it was over, we were so tired we couldn't even have a moment before going to bed'.
'We had a moment', he smiled at her.
She smiled back, 'Yes, but it was so short...', her voice dropped, 'I longed for more'.
His mouth was dry in a moment, 'I wished more, too. Especially after I felt that scent of yours'.
She smiled at him and got closer, extending a hand to him.
Niles took the hand, brought it close to his nose, felt the scent again and kissed it, trying not to loose himself in the fact that she had rested her other hand on his covered thigh, 'And... how do you plan on fixing it? I suppose you have an idea, once you came here to discuss it'.
She caressed his hand, 'I have the perfect idea, and we're not discussing anything'.
He smiled, 'All right'.
She took her hands away from him, 'Take off your shirt'.
'I beg your pardon?'
'I suppose you're wearing some type of underwear, under the covers...'
'Curious?'
'A lot. But the point here is that I want to offer you a proper massage, and it will work better if you're not wearing lots of clothes'.
He made sure not to let the beating of his heart make his voice tremble, 'I have just my boxers, besides the t-shirt'.
'It's ok with me'.
'That I wear boxers?'
'That you're still wearing them'.
Niles blinked in surprise. That was a lot more than he expected.
'The t-shirt has abused its staying, however'.