Tilly finished work quickly racing home to have a shower and head over to her friend Sarah's

She hadn't seen Sarah for sometime due to her work load .

Sarah had sent her loads of messages over the last few weeks demanding to see her ..

As the door opens Tilly cringed ..

I know " I'm a really shit friend

Yes you are " now get your ass in here " Sarah laughed hugging the red head ..

Missed you " Tilly whispered squeezing her friend ..

Sarah pulled away " what's wrong ?

Tilly forced a smile " nothing ..

Liar "

I'm not " Tilly laughed ..

Sarah wrapped her arm around Tilly neck showing her into the kitchen ..

I can see it .. Told you before " nothing gets past me.. So?

Tilly sighed " I came to see you not moan about my life

Yeah well if we can't talk about the tales of my lesbian doctor friend what else can we talk about ? Sarah joked

Tilly rolled her eyes .. My life isn't that exciting .

.

Well it's got to be better then mine " Sarah sulked .. So tell me what's up?

Jane pissed you off ?

I wish it was that .. Tilly muttered scratching her arm ..

Shell I put the kettle on ?

I'd prefer wine" Tilly answered ..

Ah yeah well ... I'm uh detoxing .. Sarah smiled

Tilly frowned " since when?

Sarah laughed " since Simon got me up the duff ..

Tilly's jaw dropped .. Oh my god " are you serious ?

Sarah smiled with a nod ..

Wow .. Congratulations. Tilly screeched hugging her friend then touching her tummy ..

I can't believe it .. Wow

Mmmm I was a little shocked myself ..

Tilly couldn't stop smiling .. I can't believe it .. So how far ?

Just had my 12 week scan .. Sarah informed her ..

12 weeks? The redhead gasped .. 12 weeks and I'm only finding out now ?

Well miss if you returned my calls you would of known ..

Tilly sighed .. Yeah I know .. I'm shit ..

Well " Sarah said sitting next to her friend .. I haven't seen or heard from you .. which tells me that something's occupying that overly large brain of yours "

Tilly laughed under her breath ...

I've somehow .. Kind of .. Accidentally got myself into a situation .. She explained ..

Go on" Sarah frowned ..

Tilly exhaled quickly .. Basically .. Jane works with this girl .. Cara..

When ever they are together they become complete alcoholics ..

Anyways ... Cara has this .. Girl friend .. Well I say girlfriend .. They're more ..

Fuck buddies? Cara said finishing Tilly's sentence

Mmmmm" Tilly bit her lip ... Jen ...

She's an art teacher ..

Sarah noticed the change in Tilly's body language as she mentioned Jens name..

So is this "Jen " the situation you've got yourself in?

Tilly closed her eyes sighing heavily

tut . Sarah.." She's amazing

.. She's intelligent

.shes talented .

Shes great company

. She's easy to talk to ..

She's beautiful

..she gets me painting she makes me feel so comfortable

.. We talk for hours and it feels like 5 minutes

.. I feel relaxed when I'm around her

Tills .. Don't tell me you've been having it away behind janes back ? Sarah laughed ..

What? Tilly panicked . No .. No I haven't .. Nothing's happened ..

Well .. Nothing physically anyways .

.

But you want to ? Sarah asked

Tilly nodded .. I almost did .. Well not "that" but I almost kissed her..

God I wanted to so badly

.. And I have done ever since .. I just can't. She sulked ..

Sarah she give me butterflies ..

And does she feels the same?

Tilly nodded .. Yeah .. Yeah she does . But I can't .. I can't be " that " person .. The one who cheats .. Who breaks jane's heart.. I just can't .

Sarah made the coffee then sat beside Tilly leaning on the kitchen counter ..

You know babe . For as long as I've known you.. You've always thought about others... Other peoples feelings .. Other peoples well being ..

You always want to know people are ok .. And if they're not .. You wanna know what you can do to change that ... Sarah told her friend ..

And that's a good quality to have ..

I mean you've been there for me more times then I Remember ..She smiled holding Tilly's hand ..

But what I'd like to know is ... When ? .. When does Tilly start thinking about what's best for Tilly ?

When are you going to be more concerned about what makes you happy ?

Does Jane make you happy ?

Coarse she does " Tilly answered unconvincingly ..

So she's out ? To her family now is she ? Sarah asked

Tilly shook her head ..

Ok .. So your still a secret .. 2 and a half years on and your still a secret .. ?

How does that make you happy .?

Tilly placed her hand over her eyes .. She knew Sarah was straight talking but it was hard to hear ..

It's complicated .. She muttered .

For who tills? Sarah fumed ..

Look im not jane's bigger fan .. I admit that .. We've never really clicked ..

But .. She's never going to admit what she is ..

She moved to London for god sake .. All this way so she can be who she wants to be .. What kind of family does she have that she's so afraid ?

You've met them haven't you ?

Are they really that bad ?

Tilly tilted her head... I actually think they're quite nice ..

Right so why then ? Why won't she want to show you off ? Sarah said ..

Babe look .. I know this is hard for you " I know you don't agree with cheating and all that palaver ... So there must be something ..

Something between you and this Jen for you to even consider anything like that ..

Tilly didn't answer.. She just stated in front of her taking in what Sarah was saying ..

I just want you to be happy babe.. Sarah added softly realising she may have been a bit blunt ..

I know .. Tilly smiled .. And you're right .. Jane will never be open to her family .. But I can't leave her because of that

I barely know Jen .. And anyways .. I won't be seeing Her again

What ? Sarah frowned.. Why?

Tilly swallowed .. We talked. I told her I have feelings for her ... But I'm in a relationship ..

She told me she feels the same

But we can't be friends because she doesn't trust herself ..

Shit" Sarah pouted " so what happens now?

You just gonna plod along with Jane !?

Pretend your happy.. Force yourself to be happy ?

It wouldn't be forced .. I was happy ..

Was tills " until someone showed you that there's more out there for you " Sarah said ..

Don't settle babe .. Don't go through life wishing you were somewhere else .. With someone else ..

This Jen" I mean what she after ? A fling ? Sex? Relationship ? What?

Tilly shrugged .. I don't know .. I mean I do .. I know she isn't after sex or anything like that .. As for relationship ? She shrugged again ..

She has broke it off with that cara though .. She said she's realised she wants more ..

Sarah slammed her hands done on the counter ..

There you go then " that's your answer... Falling for you has made her see she wants a relationship..

Tilly placed her head on the counter .." Why me? I mean really? Why does this have to happen to me ..

Sarah rubbed her friends back ..

Some people call it lucky ..

Lucky ? Tilly moaned

It's not everyday you find someone you connect with .. Sarah smiled .

You just don't like Jane " Tilly laughed ..

No I don't . I admit that .. But if she was the one for you " then I would accept that .. But she isn't ..

She's gonna live in Narnia all her life tills.. You know that.. Question is ..

Are you gonna be happy living there with her ?

My advice " go see Jen... Talk to her properly .. Find out what she wants from you .

Seeing her isn't cheating ..

And there's nothing wrong with weighing up ones options " Sarah winked ..

Why do you alway make things sound so simple ? Tilly laughed ..

Because my ginger friend .. Most if the time it is .. Sarah chuckled ..

Would you really be ok with not seeing this Jen again?

Tilly bit on her bottom lip shaking her head ..

So go see her...

Tilly thought about it for a moment ..

Maybe her and Jen could just talk .. It wouldn't be a bad thing .. They can be adults about the whole thing ..

Sarah pulled Tilly's phone out of her bag ..

See what she's up too?

Tilly took the phone staring at it for what felt like forever ..

Hi Jen .. Sarah said ... Are you busy? Can I come over ..

Yes ok " Tilly laughed .. I'm pretty sure I'm capable of typing out a message .

Do it then .. Sarah urged ..

Tilly bit her nail whilst typing ..

Hey Jen ..

Can we meet ? T

Showing Sarah she pressed send ..

That will do ...

Almost instantly Tilly's phone beeped ..

That was quick " Sarah gasped ..

Mmm" Tilly hummed nervously .. As she opened the message ..

I'd like that x J

Nice work Matilda .. " Sarah winked sipping her coffee ..