Hi, people. Part 3 of the night of the party!
Evidence
Chapter 17: Showing
Oh, well, if this isn't the most incredible irony Fate could shove into my face?, CC had thought when she closed the guestroom door at Niles' face, in a desperate attempt to not pull him with her.
She supported herself against the said door and kept trying to calm her heart down. She knew he was still there, just a few steps from her, as confused and lost as she was feeling, and that the easy way, in this case, was grabbing him. There was something going on between them, and from a delicious longing it was turning into a maddening need.
The irony was that, in a moment when both wanted it badly, they had decided not doing it.
Yes, she could just open that door and order him to enter. If he hesitated, she could just pull him until he obeyed her and stayed the night.
But not knowing where this would lead them made both of them unsure.
She heard his steps going away. He had decided to retreat.
Relieved, she went to sit on the bed. She needed time to debate with herself about the course of action to take.
She wanted to be spontaneous, but she realized it was not easy when you have no idea of what you want.
I don't know what I want? Really? Am I still capable of denying it, even to myself?
No, she was not. She wanted him.
She just felt wrong about showing it, specially about confessing it, because it would expose her feelings, and she was not sure of how to deal with them.
The way she related with men had a sure rule: if she cared, she got hurt. It had been like this with all the important ones in her life – her father, her brother, Maxwell, even some boyfriends.
With Niles, she never worried about caring. First, because he was just a domestic – Maxwell's servant who came to open the door for her.
But then, he became the butler who seemed to appear at all places of the house just to glare at her, and she started noticing him.
And then, he turned into the annoying butler who dared to disrespect her every occasion that presented itself.
And then, he turned into the infuriating man who dared to talk to her as if they were equals, pointing out to her what he thought she did wrong.
Before she could notice and do something to prevent it, he had become Niles.
(Just Niles. As Cher. She laughed quietly. He was funny.)
Even after she had admitted to herself that they were more than people who occasionally spoke to each other, and had a very stable and strong relationship, she never thought of discussing it with him. They had been all right for years, first denying, then hiding their attachment to each other, just taking pleasure in the little games they played daily.
Sometimes they really annoyed the other, but someway all was forgiven and forgotten, and they were always back to their relationship, whatever it was.
That was why it was getting so difficult, now: they had already showed a lot of what they felt, lately, through nice gestures; each time they had the opportunity to be together, they advanced a step. If they were not interrupted Sunday, maybe… something would have happened.
CC wasn't hesitating over being intimate with Niles; however, she knew it shouldn't happen without an understanding, and she dreaded what there was to be understood.
The moment they spoke clearly about how they felt, there would be no way back.
(Did she want to have a way back? The whole idea of being spontaneous wasn't about not thinking and making it possible to express the things they had been suppressing?)
That was the moment she got sure she would not be able to sleep if she didn't go to his room, tonight. She had to see him again and say something that showed how much she cared.
(Without showing too much or saying anything too clear.
She had enough therapy time to know that acknowledging something doesn't turn you into a sane person immediately.)
CC tried to be rational about the situation: if Niles had come to her that night at Sylvia's, wouldn't it make them even, if she went to his room? Wasn't it enough of a reason to justify her seeking him in the middle of the night?
Glad she was able to treat the situation sedately (and satisfied at her own capacity for denial), CC took the rose he had left to her, supported her back on the pillows and looked at the handkerchief.
She smiled: it was good to have him helping her to put some order in her thoughts.
(It was getting ridiculous.)
Back to her reasoning: why had he gone to her that night?
He said he wanted to help.
So, tonight, she needed a reason to help him.
What could she offer?
She found the question surprisingly difficult: he was very skilled – he had been taking care of the whole family (plus herself and the Fines) for years, and he never seemed to need any help. He groused and complained, but his work was always perfect.
Lately, he had started to do things for her every day: he went to her penthouse just to keep her company, he prepared her favorite dishes in the mansion, he offered lifts and conversation.
(Don't forget the fruit and chocolate episode, CC. That was something to cherish).
So, what could she offer him that he couldn't do by himself?
If this isn't an interesting question…
The first answer that came to her mind was obviously sex, and she started snickering at the prospect of entering his room, locking the door behind her, turning to him and opening her robe, showing she was nude under it, in a Central Park creep fashion.
I must tell him this. He will love the mental image.
CC sighed, smiling and letting the wave of giddiness hit her again.
Why was it she felt so good when she thought of him and the things they could do together?
And why didn't it stop feeling good when they were together?
She had been in more physically intimate relationships, before, and it was never like this. She never felt like she really could be herself and do whatever she wanted with anyone else. And, especially, she had never enjoyed it so much.
(It opened possibilities that made her all hot.)
And more: the guy she had been infatuated with for a lot of time, Maxwell, usually had more appeal when she fantasized about him; with him present, she was often annoyed by some of his personal traits.
And excited over the role his butler would have in the same situation.
Niles made her life better when he was in her thoughts, and the joy was not smaller when they were able to be in the same room.
If they could have more time together by themselves, they surely would loose the remaining hesitance that kept them still apart.
And why wasn't tonight a good moment for it?
She had a debt with her Butler Boy, and she intended to seize the opportunity and pay it, as soon as possible.
But, creepy ideas aside, what do I really have to offer him tonight?, CC asked herself again, stretching one leg and putting the other crossed over it, so she could reach her foot and massage it.
It must be something that he doesn't receive often… Something about himself being cared about, not taking care of others…
CC frowned at the feel of her muscles. With all the things going on inside her head, she hadn't remembered how strenuous a night walking around people can be to one's feet and calves…
That's it!
She got up from the bed, decided not to put on any robe (red silk pajamas seemed enough) and started for his room without stopping to think.
While she walked through the dark mansion, she couldn't stop grinning: she was happy with her decision, and it felt comforting to be in the place that had his presence everyday.
She felt safe here, because she was inside his place.
At least, that was how she felt about it.
(When she had more time, she had to think about the fact he said they could have a bubble for them whenever and wherever they wanted. Maybe he had been trying to create a bubble for them in this mansion, and she just was able to realize it now that they were involved.
Her grin went wider – they were involved. She liked to think of it in those terms. It made her imagine them all entwined into each other, and that was a mental image she definitively had to share with him sometime.)
She arrived at his door, thought of knocking but decided to try her luck and took the knob.
It turned in her hand, the door opened easily, and she called him.
He answered back with a smile in his voice, and she entered, feeling calm and in command, even if the room was his.
She could barely believe she had the nerve to tell him to stay in bed, so she could be there, too.
She couldn't believe she had the nerve to demand he had a naked torso in front of her, so she could see a bit more of him.
She had missed him for the last days, she had wished to have a moment with him all evening (he looked great in his special formal wear), she just had gone to his room to offer him a nice massage and pay a favor, and suddenly she had an urge to discover how much tired he really was.
I can't tell apart what I do for myself and what I do for him, anymore. I wanted to make something for him to feel better, didn't think of myself but, in the end, it's all the same.
That's the kind of good and happy person I'm turning into, since I let him inside my heart.
Oh, damn.
After some teasing, he finally took off the t-shirt.
Oooooh, damn.
'Satisfied?', he asked with that smirk on his face.
Ooooooh, daaaaaaamn.
'It will do', she faked indifference and forced herself to look away, 'Come on, I don't have all night. You'll have to make space for me to be at your back and be able to reach your shoulders'.
Niles nodded, visibly surprised by the blush on her cheeks, threw the covers aside and came to sit in the middle of the bed, in a lotus position, his back to her, 'Like this?'
CC got to her knees, 'Yeah'.
She breathed deeply, exhaled slowly, raised her hands and put them on his shoulders.
She pressed her lips together: his skin was hot, the muscles were strong, he let go a low moan and let his head fall a bit forward, surrendering at her touches.
(For a moment, she considered this a terrible idea and the most wonderful thing ever.)
She concentrated in her shiatsu techniques and kneaded the region of his upper back.
She heard him breathing deeply, and knew the contact was affecting to the two of them.
(She grinned when he took his pillow and covered his lap with it. She found his discretion endearing.)
CC kept her moves on his back and shoulders, and from time to time she would lower a bit the imaginary line she had previously decided as the limit.
At some point, she realized she could change her position to massage his lower back and have a bit more of contact.
(Two birds, one stone, again. It was getting handy.)
She did it sitting behind him and stretching her legs to his sides.
Her inner thighs touched the sides of his hips, and she saw him stretching his legs to help her accommodate better, adjusting the pillow on his lap and resting his hands on it, before whispering, 'What are you doing?'
'I needed to reach lower'.
'It's very becoming of you to prefer the low… Oh', he couldn't help but being startled at the sudden touch of her hands, forcing themselves against the back line of his waist.
And her chin, that she had rested on his right shoulder.
'Let's play a game', she proposed, enjoying the moment.
He closed his eyes at the whisper in his ear, 'I'm not sure it's a good idea to play games when I'm in your hands. Literally and metaphorically'.
'You've been doing it for some time'.
'I never had any sense'.
She chuckled. He turned his head to share a smile with her, and she turned her head just enough to graze her nose on his cheek.
The gesture was so tender he opened his eyes to look at her and make sure he was not reading the situation wrong, 'Will we have to move a lot, for your game? Because I'm really comfortable, now'.
She crunched her nose, 'No… Just simple questions and answers'.
'All right, then. I'm in. And you must know, I don't take games lightly'.
She grabbed his sides playfully, 'So I can see'.
He wanted to scowl at her, but he was surprised and aroused at being touched like that, and he couldn't stop his grin, 'A fat joke, Babcock? Really? When you're seeing what you're seeing?'
She chuckled lowly, 'Someone still sounds very sure of himself'.
He grunted at the sound and put his hands more firmly on the pillow. CC registered the knowledge to use it again soon, and decided to go on, 'I ask the questions'.
'Why am I not surprised?'
'Because, as you told me once, we know each other at skin level', her hands went back to her massage and she dared to plant a light kiss on his right shoulder.
He pointed a finger to his left one, 'Do something for the other side. I feel unbalanced'.
She laughed and obliged happily.
The shared moment of lightness made her want to hug him and never let go.
(This was getting really difficult.)
CC went back to her previous position, her hands in the middle of his back, her lips in a direct line with his ear, 'When you fantasize about me, which is the place you choose more often?'
I hope he doesn't mind the nature of my questions…
Niles smirked, 'There are lots of places I guess we could meet and would give you opportunity to dedicate some personal attention to my person…'
'Listening', she said, applying pressure on the sides of his spine and sending a shiver through him.
He cleared his throat, 'Sometimes I'm in the mood for exotic places, so I imagine you invite me to your stranded dark mansion in the woods. You would say you had a reward for me if I fetched some contracts you needed. When I get there, you offer me wine and drug me. I wake up tied in a dungeon and you start doing all sorts of terrible things to me'.
'Like what?'. Damn. Can I have a more eager voice?
'I can't describe them to you', he answered in a grave voice, 'There are no words for the sensations'.
'Wow', she stilled her hands for a moment, the possibilities assaulting her mind, 'You don't take it lightly, really'.
'I warned you', he chuckled, 'However, sometimes I feel realistic…'
'Yes?'. Yes, I can have an even more eager voice…
'And then I suppose a jail cell would do the work'.
She chuckled, resuming her moves, 'A jail cell, Niles? I wonder who would be locked up and who would have the cuffs...', her hands advanced along his arms and his forearms, in a caress barely disguised as massage.
Niles inclined backwards and let his lips graze her cheek, close to her ear, 'Sometimes it is you, sometimes it is me… But the results are always… intense'.
His closeness was too much, and she stopped everything to put her own lips at the reach of his.
They kissed for a while, letting the pleasure invade them slowly.
CC realized she liked this warmth as much as she liked the passion. There was no hurry in this relationship, and she felt again the familiar pleasure of the teasing and the slow building.
She felt he moved while they kissed, and she opened her eyes to discover what he was doing and she could contribute.
He was turning his body to sit with his side to her, stretching his legs and supporting his weight on the mattress with his right hand.
(And the left one held the pillow that was on his lap in place.)
She let her right leg stretched under his knees, her left one behind his back.
They fitted very well, like this.
'Talking seriously...', he resumed, his eyes wandering on her face.
She rested her left hand provocatively on the pillow, besides his, while the other reached out to massage the muscles on his right thigh, close to his knee, 'You mean you weren't? Aw'.
He smiled and pecked her lips, 'I enjoy the creative scenarios, but I usually like thinking of the office'.
'Oh', she said, and the Me too was so obvious it was left unspoken, 'And this time will you be able to be more descriptive?'
'Sure', he raised his left hand to her face and touched lightly her chin, 'It would happen in a leisure afternoon. The family would be out for some reason', the hand traced the line of her neck and her shoulder, 'It would be just the two of us in the house, and I'd find you in the office, furious at something', the hand reached her arm and descended slowly, a caress through the fabric covering her, until he rested it on her hand on his pillow, 'I'd throw some zingers at you, just to see you loose control and react, directing your fury on me', he pressed her hand slightly, and she was sure he couldn't control the desire to show her how he was under that pillow, 'You would be so consumed by your fire that you would decide to shut me up…', he got closer, eyes on her parted lips, '…with a kiss...'
Their mouths found each other again, and the hand that was not on hers came to her hair to feel it and tilt her head to deepen the contact.
This time it was CC who pressed her hand on that damn pillow.
Her other hand palmed his thigh and stayed there, savoring the feel of it.
They parted just enough for her to speak, 'The office fantasy sounds nice', she murmured, 'We should try it'.
'Wouldn't planning go against our spontaneity rule?'
'It's not a rule. It's something we permit ourselves to use when we wish'.
'Uhm', he agreed, 'I like the way you see things'.
'Me too'.
They chuckled at that, and his hand held hers on the pillow, while the other caressed her back.
(Warmth, again. And a fuzzy feeling that seemed to connect them.)
She felt bold, 'I'll ask another question. One I hope won't lead us to such sinful ideas'.
'I thought you were enjoying it'.
'I am. It's just that…', she looked into his attentive eyes, saw the tenderness in those beautiful blue and decided to speak, 'I need you to know that… I care. I just usually don't want to talk about it', she shook her head, 'It probably doesn't make any sense…'
He spoke softly, 'Stop saying I can't understand you'.
She felt defied, 'Can you?'
'Sure. You said it's hard to put what we're feeling in words, and I agree. It's frightening, in fact'.
'Are you joking, Niles? Because I hardly think this is the moment for saying I scare you'.
'No, I'm not joking, and it's not you who scares me', he was serious, 'I used to think I had my feelings for you all sorted out. I'm not sure, anymore'.
'Would you explain that to me?', she asked, caressing his hand on the pillow.
He nodded, 'I had such unnerving reactions to you since we met I started trying to establish some comparison – anything that could help me to understand it'.
She smirked.
He tried to glare and ended looking fondly at her, 'Stop it. This is a very dramatic piece of information about the turmoil you put me through every day'.
'Even when I'm not close to you?', she teased.
'Especially then'.
She pressed her lips together and made a more serious face, 'Guilty as charged. Go on'.
He resumed, 'I had to find something that gave me that kind of strange pleasure – something that would probably take me nowhere, or that sometimes could even make me sick, but that gave me such a thrill I couldn't resist and had to go back for more'.
'Dear God, Niles. It's like you're comparing me to drug addiction'.
He chuckled, 'No, it's nothing that bad. It's more like chocolate'.
She was surprised, 'Chocolate?'
'Do you like the idea?'
She grinned, 'Yes. It's funny to think you wanted to taste me, even if I could make you fat'.
He pouted at her, 'I'm not fat'.
'But you want to taste me'.
'All the time', he pecked her lips, 'And it ruined me for other women'.
'How is it? You got fat and they ran away?'
Now he glared at her, 'I got obsessed. I couldn't get excited about anyone else but you. I got grumpy and distracted so quickly I gave up dating, because my companions would give me the weird eye'.
'I would say Awww, poor baby, but I can't lie'.
'You seem to find my chastity amusing'.
She quivered at the word that came from his lips – when she told him her real name (and she was sure she would), things would get interesting, 'I just thought that whatever it is you're hiding under this pillow, it's been waiting for me for a while'.
His face was comically offended, 'Whatever it is?'
'I'm just teasing', she shrugged, 'You wouldn't dare showing me, anyway'.
He was flushed, 'And why would that be?'
'You compared me to a bad habit. You must resist at all costs'.
'Bad habit?', he seemed confused.
CC grinned at the effect the conversation was having on him. She felt that familiar urge to test his limits for propriety, 'Chocolate addiction, Niles. Have you already forgotten, you old man?'
'Oh', he understood and then shook his head slowly, 'You were not paying attention. I said I used to think of you like that'.
She snuggled a bit closer to him, one hand pressing on the pillow again, the other moving dangerously to his inner thigh, 'Enlighten me. If I'm not chocolate to you, anymore, what am I now?'
His eyes locked with hers and he spoke in all seriousness, 'Air'.
CC's lips parted in surprise, her hands frozen.
'There is no way I can live without it, there is no way I can even regulate how much of it I need to sustain myself', his eyes had a flick of despair, 'Every time I try to think of it and put it in words, it gets clearer how much I need you. That's why I told you it's frightening'.
She had no answer to that. She stayed looking at him, giving him time to elaborate.
He did, 'Don't get me wrong: I like to see you empowered. I admire and I lust after your bossy ways. But I realized I can't stand the idea of you ignoring me. And you could do it any time'.
She had an epiphany, 'You think I ignored you, tonight…'
He seemed shy, 'Maybe… kinda… sorta…'
'I didn't ignore you', she put her hands on the sides of his face, 'I just couldn't give you the attention you deserved while piled with work'.
Niles nodded, 'I know. I understand'.
'But you feel hurt'.
'I did. I know I have no right to be. Tonight I was just a waiter and you were the successful producer. I know my place'.
'Stop that'.
'That's the truth'.
'No', her eyes bore into his, 'For the last days, and especially tonight, we were both professionals. We do different things, but we both must be competent to make sure business works out. I may say otherwise, but I know how good you are at your job; it's not easy to organize the servings of a party like that'.
He tilted his head, 'Who are you and what have you done to my Babcock?'
'Your Babcock is this one', she said firmly, 'And, for your own good, you better appreciate this monster of good will you created with your stupid affectionate gestures'.
He kept looking at her annoyed expression and his face, that had been taken by surprise, formed a foolish grin that got bigger and bigger, until he couldn't resist anymore, threw the pillow away and tumbled her on the bed.
When CC realized what was happening, he was already on top of her, smiling wickedly and supporting his body on his elbows and knees by her sides, so their bodies were not touching.
'What are you waiting for?', she hungrily asked.
'I have no idea', he answered sincerely, 'I don't want to intrude…', he lowered his head and grazed her lips with his, suddenly serious and tender, 'Maybe I need an invitation… or an authorization…', he backed a bit and looked into her eyes, 'You make me really confused'.
'You do that to me, too', she said, raising her hands to caress his bare chest, 'Isn't it great not to be alone in such a situation?'
He chuckled at the teasing in her voice, 'You're kidding, but it is'.
'Believe me, I'm not kidding. I know what it is to be alone, and not being alone is great, in any situation', she seemed to realize something and furrowed her brows, 'Wait: that's not it'.
'Uhm?'
'To me, being alone is not about not having other people around. It's about being with anyone else but you'.
Niles was wide eyed in shock.
CC licked her lips nervously, 'I claim temporary insanity', and gave him a shy tentative smile, 'But don't worry. I won't take it back'.
He opened his mouth to speak but just could shake his head slowly, in a lack of words.
She grinned at him and he brought a hand to caress her hair.
Finally, he murmured a moved 'Oh, Miss Babcock', and took her lips with his.
This time there was a perfect mix of tenderness and arousal, and CC moved her arms to his shoulders to pull him delicately to her.
He let the most of his weight on her, his chest on her silk shirt, and she started opening her legs and forcing them on his.
He got the idea and helped her to exchange positions, laying between her legs.
When their middles finally touched, they had to stop kissing for a moment, because both needed to let out low moans of satisfaction.
The kiss was resumed, and the way they started grinding against each other made clear they were ready for more.
CC brought her hands to her chest and started opening the buttons of her own silk pajama's shirt, 'Let's get even'.
Niles smiled and gave her space, 'Thank you. I was feeling objectified'.
She chuckled and gave up answering when she felt his eyes on her, waiting patiently for her to expose herself.
She could feel the heat of his gaze.
She was already thinking of his hands and lips on her.
When she finally finished, she put the halves of cloth to the sides, and smiled at the tender way he tidied them up.
His eyes were on what his hand was touching, and he brought it from the cloth to a light caress on her waist, to the valley between her breasts and then…
Yes, he was a gentleman: he had smoothly got closer and took his time to take what he wanted.
Yes, he was dependable: CC could just relax and let him savor her, enjoying his ministrations.
Yes, he was skilled: the way his eyes and lips and fingertips moved on her skin sent sparks through her.
She felt cared and desired. Not just physically.
It was almost too much.
She crossed her ankles behind his waist and pulled him up to be face to face – she needed to kiss him again.
He complied, getting close enough to touch their now naked upper bodies while their mouths found each other, and the sensations got them to a world of their own.
CC had a passing thought of being in their bubble, and of how amazing it felt.
When their lips broke contact, Niles started giving light kisses on her cheek, advancing to her jaw and reaching her neck. CC nipped at his shoulder, and she grabbed his ass to bring him even closer.
He decided to tease, 'Weren't we too tired for this?'
She sighed in pleasure, 'You tell me. You're the old one, here'.
He rubbed his chest on her, 'You've cast a spell on me, and I'm not able to stop myself, even if I wanted to'.
'And you don't'.
'No, I don't', he stopped and looked her in the eyes again, 'Do you?'
CC didn't give him the answer he had expected: she put her fingers in the helm of his boxers and asked, 'May I?'
Niles gasped at her hands on his hips and just nodded.
She felt dazed by the arousal, 'I want to hear you saying it'.
His breathing was labored, and he looked into her eyes with dark blue ones, begging, 'Please, Miss Babcock'.
She palmed his ass with force, 'Kiss me, Butler Boy. I want you distracted while I make my moves'.
He grunted with desire and lost himself in her mouth again, moaning at the slow pace she was using to take off his last piece of cloth.
Niles really had to distract himself or he would take the boxers with his own hands. The waiting was delicious, it was part of what they had been building, and he didn't want to miss any moment of it – even if it was torture.
He felt her hands on him, exploring leisurely. She would pull the boxers a bit, stop and caress each new exposed inch of his skin.
Her touch sent waves of excitement through his body, and his tongue chased hers to show how desperate he was getting.
It was perfect.
And they had all night to…
'Niles? Sweetie, are you awake? I'm in the kitchen. I need to talk to you! Something happened and we've got kind of a problem'.
Niles opened his eyes in shock, stopping the kiss, panting and not believing the nasal voice in his ears.
CC just looked at the intercom, resigned.