64- it's a huge number, is it not?

64 people were killed that night.

64 is the number of people that Ikilled.

One moment of pure darkness, pure unadulterated darkness and when I had awoken- that was the number that was told to me.

That was the number of corpses they had found, the number of innocents slain, the number of families forever broken up and the number of souls that entered Reikai way before their time.

Koenma had but no choice to lock me up. I begged for execution- the standard punishment for a crime of that nature- but it was refused. He gave me a long, drawn-out explanation of how my repressed kitsune nature overtook me in a moment of anguish, how years of fear, apathy, and no outlet to express anything had led to an explosion.

He made it sound so clinical but- I knew it for what it was- an excuse. He didn't want to kill me. The baby kit that he had tried so hard to save. The kit he hoped to one day impose tranquility back into the most war-torn section of Makai. The young, innocent kit he had given to a kitsune by the name of Yukio- in hopes that he would protect her.

Only to have said kit explode into a super nova on death and tragedy at the death of her beloved Yukio, and never have hope to restore peace back to the land that she had loved so much.

I'm currently with Kurama right now in my cell.

Kurama visits me every week. He talks to me for hours and hours at end, telling me that secrets of his youth, the exploits of his adult years, the heartbreak and grandeur and everything that is him.

He speaks of love for his human life- adoration for the human mother that birthed him , respect for the man that made her happy again, and unrelenting love and comradeship for his teammates.

I try to talk back to him in the same way. But it's hard. I feel like I'm keeping him here. What right has he to spend his free-time in a jail, surrounded by perverse, filthy beings.

He's amazing and I love him in a way, I dare not tell him.

He wouldn't love me.

I am but a murderer.

All alone.

In a cell.

Forgotten.

Forbidden,

By all other then him.

My human parents don't miss me, they didn't even search for me.

I'm forgotten,

Forbidden, and

About to tell Kurama

"I love you."

He snapped his head up and looked at me and I don't give him a chance to respond before I kiss him through the metal bars, ignoring how they burn my skin with magic. I clutch on to him with frenzy, my lips moving desperately among his. I love him so much.

Months and months he has spent down here talking to me. Gently, without asking for anything in return. He has given me everything because he has given me forgiveness.

I pull away and he kisses me.

"I love you Azami."

He replied.

I love him

He loves me.

I dare not think that I'll be here forever.

And can never give him the love he deserves.