AN: I'm not dead. The Exams kidnapped me and nearly killed me, but then Summer Vacation came to my rescue and so, here I am. :) Hope you're all doing well, lovelies. Enjoy!

Bitter or Sweet?

Disclaimer: not even for making it to summer break

Chapter 25: Scars

We got the same friends
We're gonna have to see each other eventually
So won't you tell me how we're gonna deal with that

My CD's are at your place
And you know I'm gonna have to pick 'em up
So won't you tell me how we're gonna deal with that

Even though it was mutual, it still kills inside
'Cause for so long, how I've been defined

It feels just like I'm going crazy
I guess that this is breaking up
And now not even you can save me
Will someone wake me up?

~ the Veronicas: Someone Wake Me Up

KAGOME'S POV

I drive my fist into the heavy punching bag, not even giving it time to rebound back before I slam it with my heel while digging in my elbow shortly after.

"Woah, easy there," Rin warns with a grin, "It's only a child."

Pausing to wipe the sweat dripping from my forehead like water after a shower, I ignore her advice and resume beating up the already abused object of my attention.

Rin sighs and lets her hair down. "I don't think your training methods are commendable, Kags. If you use that much force without any of your sparring equipment on, your body's going to kill you for it tomorrow. I'm serious, you'll wake up with your entire body sore and aching."

I slide back, rearing up for a tornado roundhouse kick, only to retreat for a counter, and following it up with a series of back, double, hook, and axe kicks. Not necessarily in that order.

"Fine, don't listen," she mutters, easing out of the dojo for a drink. "Don't say I didn't warn you, though. 'Cause I did. Like, twice."

Whenever I'm in a bad mood, I always swing by the martial arts studio to blow off some steam. And boy did I have an excess of steam lately. Seeing Inuyasha after all this time made me angrier than I realized.

How dare he just waltz back into the picture after cutting me off for three freaking years? No. He didn't get to do that. It wasn't bloody fair. And the puppy eyes he would send my way whenever I'm with Bank? Uh uh. Unforgiveable.

So I release all my pent up frustration into my various kicks and punches, not stopping even when the skin on my knuckles breaks and blood seeps out in ribbons. Not caring when bruises blossom on the tops of my feet from constant impact. Because at this moment, Inuyasha is the punching bag and I'm teaching him a valuable lesson: you don't mess with a Higurashi and get away with it. No way in hell.

To my disbelief, my eyelids begin to burn with what I've come to recognize as the pooling of tears. I didn't get it; why was I crying? It was Inuyasha who should be crying, not me. I've done nothing wrong. So why?

As I continuously attack the bag, I picture Inuyasha's face, sharpening my focus. "Inu...Yasha...you...scumbag," I pant between blows, "go sit... in a corner... and screw yourself... twice!"

Rin clears her throat. Loudly. "Uh, Kags..."

"...Damn you... and your ears... you're a bitch, pun intended... and I'm gonna... steal all your cookies... till you die-"

"Kaggie bear, that's really lovely and all, but maybe you should save your rant for later?"

I grunt. I needed to get all of it out right now dammit. "I bet your farts... smell toxic... and I, Kagome Higurashi, curse you... with eternal diarrhea!"

"Fuck, you really know how to wound a guy," a voice calls out dryly, tinged with amusement. "Quite the sharp tongue you've got there. I don't think I've ever felt this scared from a threat. Or, rather, multiple threats. My cookies, really? And the diarrhea... that was a bit much."

I freeze in my tracks, whole body stiffening. Shit. How long had he been listening?

"Just what kind of martial arts techniques have you been teaching her while I was gone?" Inuyasha asks Rin, shaking his head with a small smile. "I really worry about your judgment sometimes. But I guess my brother finds it attractive."

Rin lets out a laugh. "I kissed him when he was sleeping the other day and I think he thought I was a rapist 'cause he freaked out. But in regards to my teaching, I'm very capable, thank you very much. Kagome just has some anger issues that she uses to fuel her moves. As you previously witnessed."

I tighten my ponytail, refusing to look him in the eye. But I still plaster on a smile. "What are you doing here, Inuyasha?" I inquire sweetly. "Rin didn't tell me you'd be visiting." I laugh a shrill, fake laugh meant to warn Rin that she was going to be in big trouble soon.

"Yeah, that's because I didn't tell her myself. It was supposed to be a surprise, I guess. Didn't think you'd be here on a Saturday night."

I raise a brow. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs. "You're a senior, aren't you? I figured you'd be out with your friends... or your boyfriend."

Rin bursts out laughing, not even bothering to try to smother it. "Nice attempt at subtle there, Yasha," she manages between chortles. "You're real smooth, you know that? Must've learned it from Sesshy. He's just as pathetic at subtle as you are."

Inuyasha punches her in the arm, albeit lightly. "God, you haven't changed one bit. You're what... twenty-two, twenty-three now? Yet you still act like a kid." His tone is kind, however, speaking to her. It's evident that he already thinks of her as a sister.

I listen as Rin strikes back with another comment, and the two quarrel like long-lost siblings. It's endearing, in a way, but it also makes me realize just how much of an outsider I am. After all, Inuyasha knew this place first. He was the one who introduced me to Rin and got me started in martial arts, all because I'd been bullied by some low-lives and he wanted me to learn how to stick up for myself.

"Hey, Kags," Rin interjects, breaking me out of my reverie. "I've got a genius idea. Want to hear it?"

"Not really-"

"How 'bout you and Yasha over here spar? You know, kind of like a friendly 'welcome home!' present. That way you can show him just how much you've improved over these last few years. Besides, I bet he's gotta be more satisfying to hit than that ratty old punching bag."

Sparring meant contact.

Was I even ready to have any kind of interaction with him just yet?

He did completely blow me off when I'd demanded an explanation for his disappearance.

I can practically feel the fire lighting up in my eyes; hell yeah, I'm going to spar him. He deserves a couple punches in the gut for all that he's done. Inuyasha was going to pay.

I shove on my sparring equipment eagerly, and I see Inuyasha crack a smirk in the corner of my eye. "Why aren't you getting ready?" I demand irately.

"I don't need the equipment."

A nerve in my brow twitches. "Stop underestimating me!" I snap. "What, you don't believe that I can take you just because you've got some fancy shmancy demon blood running through your veins? Well guess what-"

"That's not why." He pauses to give me a chance to catch my breath. "I'm not trying to insult you. But because I'm half demon, I heal a lot more quickly than you do. Therefore, whether you land some kicks or whatnot, I'll recover."

I instantly feel bad. Ever since he got back, I've either been ignoring him, hating him, or treating him like a stranger whereas he, as cold and distant as he's been, has only been civil. It makes me feel like a jerk.

"Ready?" Rin referees. "Bow! Taking your fighting stance... and commence!"

Not waiting him to make the first move, I attack first, aiming a sliding roundhouse kick right to his side. He swiftly dodges and fakes a punch and instead jumps back forty-five degrees for a counter.

I automatically wince at the impact, but frown when the strike doesn't hurt as much as I'd expected. Inuyasha's no weakling; he's holding back. Bastard.

Angry, I launch myself forward with a push kick and manage to get him right in the chest. Not giving him a second to recover, I ram an uppercut to his abdomen, watching him cough once as the air leaves his lungs. I grip his wrist tightly, allowing my nails to dig into his skin. "Why are you going easy on me?" I hiss, rising to my toes so that my face is only inches from his. "Is it because I'm a girl? Or because you're sorry?"

Amber eyes flash, and his hand whips out to wrench mine off his other one, twisting it to elicit pain. He then swipes his ankle under both my feet, effectively tripping me and forcing me onto the ground. Knees at my hips and hands holding mind above my head, he has me completely trapped and immobile. In an incredibly awkward position, at that.

"Do you think I could ever spar with you with everything I've got?" he seethes. "If I did, you'd end up bruised and bloody in a fucking hospital! I have the reflexes of a demon, Kagome. When you punched me back then? I could've easily driven my knee into your face and broken your nose, or used my claws to slash your stomach, maybe even cut out your goddamn eyeballs! I don't underestimate you. I'm perfectly aware that you could put up a fight. But do you honestly think I could, even for a second, take a fight with you seriously enough to damage you in any permanent way? For God's sake, Kagome, get off your high horse and see that if I were to fight for real, I would kill you!"

Breathing hard, I look into his eyes, searching his face. He just keeps getting prettier and prettier, doesn't he? In the years he was gone, he's gotten even more compact, if that was even possible. I can feel the taut skin stretched over pure muscle leaning into my body, and I realize why it hurt me so much that he left.

Not because I'd truly believed he was my friend.

Not because we were linked by our moms.

Not because I thought I'd finally gotten through to him.

It was because I loved him- I was in love with Inuyasha but he'd left me anyway.

I'd admitted to myself after our first kiss that I felt something like love for him. But that was when he'd started dating Kikyo and I thought those feelings had gone down the drain. But now, with him hovering above me, it's easy to see that I hadn't gotten over him. I'd loved him till the second he left my life.

He was the boy who beat up the kids who messed with me, the one who watched romance and chick-flick movies with me when I was lonely even though he hated them and just because I wanted to. No matter how badly I denied it, Inuyasha had filled up my heart and mind to the brim and when he left for North America; it was as if there was a giant hole, gap in my life. One that Sango, Ayame, or Rin couldn't fill; one that only began to heal when Bankotsu asked me to go out with him.

Tears spill down my cheeks and Inuyasha's eyes widen in panic.

Idiot Inuyasha.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Why couldn't he have seen how much I needed him in my life, not as a friend, but as a guy? Now it's too late. We can never have anything anymore. We just can't. Not after everything that's happened.

I pull in my leg, knee bent, so that I can punt my toe up and strike his jaw.

He stumbles back, and I take the opportunity to rise to my feet, using the back of my arm to wipe away any signs of crying. "That was for leaving Japan, asshole." Then, without sparing him or Rin another glance, I stalk out of the dojo with a limp in my walk and an ache in my heart.

"So, it's your turn today. What do you want to watch?"

I curl up into Bank's side and rest my chin on his shoulder. "Hmm. I choose... the Ugly Truth."

He snorts with laughter. "You don't even like that movie, Kags. I believe your exact words were, 'It's so disturbing that my goosebumps got goosebumps.'"

"I know, I know. I just feel like watching a movie that makes guys look like assholes." I blink up at him innocently. "Is that so wrong?"

Bank furrows his brows. "Er... Don't tell me you're on your period. "

I smack him on the head. "Douche. Fine, let's watch something action-packed. Ooh! The Bourne! The first one though. I hate how the girl dies. What bullshit is that? Poopie. Can you look for it and put it on while I go get the ice-cream tubs? Ben and Jerry, here I come!"

I get up, but Bank pulls me back down.

"Kagome, can you do something for me?" he asks.

"Well, of course, dear sir! I'd love to be of assistance. Whatever do you need?" I smile big and pull on his long, black braid. But his face is completely serious and there's no trace of joking. So different from only moments before. I wonder what caused the sudden change in mood.

"I want you to kiss me," he says.

Well that's new. I tilt my head sideways, confused. "Um, sure." I press my lips to his briefly and pull back only to find him looking oddly disappointed. "What?"

He shakes his head. "I just... Never mind. It's nothing. Anyway, you go get that ice-cream you were talking about, okay?"

"No, there's something wrong. What is it?"

Bank sighs and rakes a hand through his bangs. "You know that I'm not the type that gets jealous easily, nor am I untrusting and paranoid. But I just can't help but think that that couldn't have been the way you kissed Inuyasha. Am I right?"

I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out. How am I supposed to respond to that? "Bank, what's this about?"

"I knew that you and Inuyasha had a history. I was fully aware of that, yet I asked you to be my girlfriend anyway because I hoped that with time and patience, all the feelings you'd harbored for him would melt into your feelings for me. And I've been falling more and more in love with you every day. But ever since Inuyasha came back, I feel like you're only half awake in my presence. Like the other half of your heart already belongs to someone else... like I can't make you fully happy."

My breath catches. "I did love him. Alright? I did. But it's been three years and you're the person I love now. I'm with you, not him. You really don't have anything to worry about. And if it's the kissing you're concerned over, we can always work on that together. No biggie." I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head in his lap. "You and me, we're fine. We'll always be fine. Now let's watch Matt Damon kick ass."

He strokes my hair absently as the movie plays and he's done it so many times that it feels natural now. Soothing even. I can relax when I'm with Bank—something that is impossible with Inuyasha.

I love Bankotsu. I'm certain of it.

But how big a part of me will always belong to Inuyasha?

I knew it.

I knew that ever since Inuyasha arrived in Japan, I began acting like a bitch. Not only to him, but Bank as well.

But still, I didn't think my attitude warranted this.

"Kags, I think we shouldn't see each other anymore."

There are so many things I want to say, ask. So many things. But the only word I manage to voice is, 'why?' My throat hurts. My head hearts. And goddamn, my heart hearts. But that's hardly a surprise.

You would think I'm used to it by now.

Bank smiles a thin smile. His eyes are bloodshot and practically drooping. He hadn't been sleeping. Because of me. Because I'm a heartless bitch. His thick, dark hair is disheveled and tangled beyond comprehension. "I'm saving you from the torture of having to end it between us yourself."

Fine. If I'm going to be a bitch, I might as well go full out. I use the heel of my hand to smack him in shoulder, fingers clutching his shirt as I struggle to breathe evenly. "You're only saying that to make yourself feel better about breaking up with me!" My voice cracks a little at the last part- figures. "I wouldn't have broken up with you. Despite what you think, I wouldn't have chosen Inuyasha. Even if he offered me all of freaking Japan, I wouldn't have! So stop being a coward and own up to what you've decided to do."

He doesn't meet his eyes. I can tell he's trying hard not to leak tears. "Yeah. You're right; I'm a coward. I'm also hairy and fat and grotesque so you're better off without me." He draws me in close and smoothes a hand over my hair, the way he used to do while we watched horrible reality TV on his sofa. "But you know what? You're beautiful. And smart. And kind, although you probably don't believe me since I know better than anyone else how much you hate yourself. I can't give you what you need. God knows I wish I could, but that's the ugly truth." He laughs a little at his own, corny joke. His smile turns unbelievably sad as he says, "That's why I'm letting you go Kaggie bear."

That's it. That's all it takes for my walls to come crumbling down. When he calls me that stupid nickname, the dam collapses and hot tears spill down my cheeks and soak the collar of Bank's top. "I hate you," I sob. My fingers are cramped from all the clenching. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." I hate you for doing this to me. For making me believe that I could ever love anyone and be loved back, only to crush it to smithereens and step all over it.

"Good," he says kindly. "Good, you should hate me. I want you to. But know that I love you. I really, really do."

"Gods," I choke out. "What kind of moron breaks up with his girlfriend and then tells her he loves her not two minutes later?"

Bank laughs, and I can feel his chest shuddering with it. "Wow, only someone insanely daft would pull something like that, eh?"

Sighing, I pull back, immediately missing his warmth. "Tell me about it. Somehow, though, I loved him a whole lot anyway."

Silence floats between us. Shockingly, it's not entirely awkward.

Finally, Bank speaks. "Hey, Kagome?"

"What is it, you heartbreaker?"

"I know that we're not a couple anymore and all... But I want to take you to prom."

I burst into manic laughter, doubling over to the point where I'm wheezing like an old man. "This just keeps getting better and better, I have to say." I shake my head. "Why didn't you just break up with me after prom? I mean, who asks their ex-girlfriend to prom anyway? Wait, what am I saying? Clearly you do."

He scratches his head. "I don't know, ending the relationship afterwards seemed a lot crueller. Come on, go with me? You know we look cute together. Even just as friends. I'll buy you a corsage and everything!"

The tears are still flowing as I take his hand in mine, squeeze it, and say 'yes.'

How is it possible to love someone enough to know that their heart will finally find peace if you let them go?

AN: Curse you, writer's block.

I'm not all that pleased with the way this one turned out, but I'm frantic to update ASAP so this will just have to do.

Thank you to those still sticking by me and this story. Words can't express my gratitude.

Hope you're all enjoying your summer. Sadly, I'm still busy as hell.

Hugs,

~Nyony.

Daichi: What? No mention today? After all this time that I've waited . . . naw, just kidding. Still, I love the fact that I'm the very first person to see this and since I do, I'll just say what I think. It's good, but I wasn't expecting Bankoutsu to break up with her so soon (at least, soon in the chapter) but hey, things happen. Good work, Nyony, and I hope the Writer's Block syndrome passes!

Ahaha you know I'm always grateful Daichi (: