Disclaimer: I don't own SoN. Honestly, why do I keep writing this?

A/N: Okay from now on, reviews are mandatory. I need inspiration and I need it fast. I kid you not, I have spent the last few days staring at my bedroom wall, and I have counted and named every single brick and yes, I have gone crazy.

Chapter 20

Spencer POV

I storm out of the restaurant without thinking. It's raining outside but I still continue walking to nowhere in particular. I'm soaking wet in minutes, it doesn't matter how cold and wet I felt. My heart ache hurts more than the harsh cold viciously piercing my skin. Rain water drops down my face and I can taste the saltiness of my tears as I lick my lips. Ashley was only trying to explain her actions which I know weren't my place to be mad about. It's between her and her family but what hurts the most is that she was giving me mix signals. Her hot and cold attitude is like a twisted Katy frikkin' Perry song. I don't appreciate it and I can't stand it. She let me feel things for the first time since Carmen and I was beginning to trust again, to maybe fall in love again. Oh how wrong I was. It wasn't a big secret that I have a big crush on Ashley (Who wouldn't?) and no doubt I'm attracted to Brooke. Her beautiful smile, her husky voice, and her deep brown eyes how the fuck did I not see she was Ashley in the first place? How stupid did I look? Was she laughing at me this whole time? What was she playing at? I recall all of her relentless flirting and advances, it just hurt so much to think she was playing me for a fool.

This is bad. I can't think clearly. My head begins to hurt. I heavily pant as I walk faster while my heart breaks every step I take. Without looking where I am walking I bump into some old lady holding up an umbrella. I tumble backwards landing on my ass. From nearby I see a group of three teenage boys laughing and whispering to themselves. Yea, laugh it up to the clumsy girl. I roll my eyes as they approach me

"Oh my I'm sorry dear are you alright?" said the kind lady as one of the teenage boy helps me get up, blocking my view from his friends. In the corner of my eye, I see one of the other teenage boy bend down, pick something up and he grins as he sneakily put in his pocket. Thinking nothing of it, I turn back and immensely apologize to the kind lady "I'm fine. Sorry I wasn't looking where I'm going" She watch me as I started to walk away not letting her say another word.

I continue my walk for what felt like half an hour. This is so fucking bad. My head begins to pound harder as I shiver, my body tells me I can't take the cold anymore. I look around to see where I was. Hurt turns to fear as I look around and don't recognize any of the houses. I'm lost. That is just great. Thanks Life, you can be such a bitch sometimes.

I search my pockets for my phone. Maybe I can call Mom to come pick me up. Fear turns to panic as I searched in vain. Shit where the fuck is my phone? I lost it? But where did I lose it? In the restaurant? No, I had my phone in my pocket the whole time. I retrace everything that happened. No way! Those teenage boys took my phone. No, no, no this can't be happening. That's the only thing I can use to contact Lily and the last thing my Dad gave me. I can't lose it, I just can't. I thought of Lily, my mysterious, kind and gentle protector, I think about her so much that my heart begins to hurt and it really hurts.

I ran as fast as my feet can take me. I have forgotten where I came from but all I can do is run, hot tears cloud my vision as I bump into someone, I felt warm arms wrap around me squeezing firmly, whispering it's alright over and over. I see Ashley holding me tightly, I place my head under her chin. I silently sob uncontrollably "M-my p-phone is gone, g-gone" my voice hitches "I-i lost Lily"

"Shhh, it's alright Spence shhh" she gently rocks me back and forth as she caresses my back. I welcome her warm body as she holds me closer, her husky voice soothes me. She softly mumbles which I barely hear she whispers "I'm here"

Ashley POV

What have I done? It's so tempting to just close my eyes and turn off from the world. Hoping to just have a do over but the taste in my mouth is bittersweet waking me to reality like I've somehow missed a beat with no chance to restart all of my past faults. My heart aches. I admit, I was never right for the role of a hero or protector but the promise I made to Mr. C, my angel, somehow I had the courage to overcome my shivering heart filled with fear. He has put his faith in me, it may have falter from time to time but no matter how I am hurt and knocked down, I will stand up not just for him but also for me and for Spencer. I can still see to this day that my past tears are still reflected in my eyes. I cannot hide all the loneliness and emptiness inside but with her single touch she had awaken all of my love that I have yet to show her. With that one touch, I knew her strength is what I lack. I will not give up. Even if she decides to push me away, I will always be with her, I will always be there for her, I will be her shield protecting her always and I swear that I'll be the one she chooses because she is my everything and I will give her everything.

Holding her tight, I stroke my hand up and down Spencer's cold back. She shivers while crying hysterically on my chest. I close my eyes, trying to memorize how her embrace feels against my body. I've waited for this for so long, it might be brief, only for this moment, here and now but I want to cherish this as long as I have it. Looking at the sky above, wishing to make this moment last forever. I hate myself for hurting my Spencer. This will haunt me for the rest of my life, the horrible mistake and poor choices I made. "Shh everything's going to be fine" Her sobs lessens, her knees buckle "I've got you"

I took off my sweater, which was less damp then hers, placing it on her head. I easily lift her up bridal style in my arms. Thank God she wasn't too heavy. Her head rest on my left shoulder, her arms tightly around my neck. I tried not to blush but failed miserably. I feel like a fucking tomato from all blood rushing to my cheeks. This is not the time or place. I shake my head as I walk us to my car, turn the heater up. She keeps mumbling phone gone, Lily and sorry. I fight the urge to tell her right there that she doesn't have to worry of ever losing me. She coughs silently, hugging her body as she sleeps. I drive fast reaching her house in record time. It looks like no-one's home. Finding the hidden key under a pot, I carry her into the house, headed upstairs, trying to figure out which is her bedroom. Luckily it was the nearest room to the staircase. I lay her down the bed. She needs to change her clothes. OK but how? Think Ashley do not be a perv now. Of course you can change her, just avoid looking at all the juicy parts. Think about Spencer right now you pervert, she will catch her death if she stays in her wet clothes. Maybe if you wake her up. Good thinking brain. Oh my god, did I just had a conversation with the voice in my head? Yea, you just did. Maybe I am bi-polar. It sends shivers down my spine, I shake my head to shake it off.

"Spencer honey, wake up. You need to change"

She shifts to her side and mumbles "5 more minutes" I gently shake her as I giggle softly. She can be so adorable. Her eyes flutters open then realizing where she was and who's in front of her, her eyes wide open with shock.

"I'll be downstairs. You better change" she nods and weakly sits up as I support her back. She shivers and coughs loudly. "Change quickly" I place the back of my hand on her head. Damn she's heating up. I better make her chicken soup, her dad once told me it's her favourite whenever she gets sick. I left her to change and I headed downstairs. I wonder where her mom and Glen are at. Does she always come home to an empty house?

I rummage their kitchen for all of the ingredients I need. I started to prep the vegetables but I hear a loud sound on top of the stairway. I run to it and see Spencer wobbling down the stairs.

Her eyes are droopy. She stutters and coughs "I n-need" cough "to g-go" cough "f-f-find my phone" cough

"Oi! Hold on! You're still not feeling well. You're not fit to go out!" I scream as I race up the stairs towards her.

She continues to wobble down the stairs "Ha-ha w-what are you s-saying?" cough "It's r-really funny that… you… y-you're actually worried for me" cough "I…I r-really n-need to…" she faints and falls down the stairs

"You idiot! Be careful" I catch her mid-air but it didn't stop me from falling down. Damn gravity work with me here. I reposition her and shift her to my right as we tumble down the stairs. I feel a sharp pain on my left shoulder and I bang my head as we work our way down. "Ow" I feel the blood drip down my forehead, I quickly look over Spencer to see if she got injured. A happy sigh escapes me as I see her sleeping soundly in my arms.

"What were you thinking, you idiot?"

I lift her up, ignoring the sharp pain on my shoulders and my head. I place her yet again on her bed.

"Have to find it" she mumbles in her sleep "find it quickly"

I gently tuck her in, placing a warm blanket up to her shoulders. I check her temperature again. She's really heating up. I hold her hand in mine, loving the feeling that it fits so perfectly well with mine.

Silly Spencer, rather than worrying about that phone, you should be more worried about your own health first. She might need to go to the hospital because of her high fever. I watch her sleep, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looks really peaceful when she sleeps. She can be so stubborn but she's really cute when she does. When her eyes lit up every time she smiles and laughs. Although I am here because of a promise I made to your father, unconsciously and intentionally, love have grown. How could I have known you're all that I dreamt of? Before Spencer, I could never find the light to guide me out of the darkness I felt inside my heart but now I have her to thank for lighting up the dark. I know we can't communicate well and I can't be fully open to her. I'll recall every memory I have with you. All of which are too precious not to hold them all close to my heart. But now, how can I look you in the eyes? My eyes travel from her eyes to her lips. I lean down slowly and silently not wanting her to wake up. My hearts pounds on my chest. Spencer, can you not hear my heart calling for you? My lips come closer and closer and I can taste her breath in mine. Until that day, until you finally are able to hear it, I'll keep my heart screaming your name. Her soft lips met mine.