Did Anybody See That? Chapter 14
The wedding and its preparations were every bit as ghastly as Astrid had feared.
She had to wear a white dress that tripped her if she tried to run. She had to take off the kransen she'd worn around her head for years, and replace it with the brass bridal crown that had been her mother's, decorated with the girliest of girly things – flowers! She had to endure a ritual washing, during which her married female relatives told her everything she'd need to know about making her husband happy, including some things that almost curled her hair.
It was some comfort to know that Hiccup had to go through similar ordeals. But it still wasn't fair – he didn't have to wear a dress.
He'd done a remarkably good job of staying focused in the forge over the last few months. Part of this was probably due to the fact that he was forging the swords for their wedding ceremony; he knew they had to be good. He had made the wedding rings as well. He wouldn't show them to her in advance, but he promised that they'd be unique and special.
Something else a bridegroom was supposed to do, was build a house for himself and his new wife. Hiccup hadn't done much about that. Stoick had finally hired a few workers to get started on a house, but it was nowhere near ready. Only Astrid knew that Hiccup had no intention of ever living there. He'd mentioned that he was making some improvements to the cave where he planned to live. But because they were engaged, they couldn't spend time alone together, so she hadn't seen any of those improvements. She hadn't been able to go flying on Toothless with him at all. That was the worst part of the entire engagement.
But that was ending at last. They'd been through the ritual sacrifice of blessing. They'd exchanged their swords, with their rings sitting on the pommels. It was just like Hiccup to forge those swords so the pommels were perfectly sized to hold the rings securely. The rings were identical except for size; they were gold, of course, and each ring carried three tiny black jewels that were surprisingly shiny. She'd glanced at her ring and given him an inquiring look. "Chips from one of Toothless' scales," he whispered back.
They'd exchanged their vows, she'd crossed the threshold of the Mead Hall without tripping (that accursed dress made it hard), and he'd somehow thrown his sword hard enough to sink it into the main pillar. Good; they wouldn't start their marriage under any bad omens. The reception had its own share of embarrassing traditions – the hammer in her lap, the serving of the mead – but that, too, was over and done. There were plenty of guests, although they'd mostly come on account of the bride's and groom's families; few cared that much about the bride, and no one could say they cared about the groom.
Now she and that groom were being paraded down the streets from the Mead Hall to Stoick's house, where Hiccup's room would be their bridal chamber until the house was finished. They were being escorted by Stoick, Spitelout, her father, two of her uncles, and an assortment of important citizens of the village. These people were required, by Viking law, to watch them as they consummated their marriage. There could not be any doubt in anyone's mind that the new couple were capable of raising up children to continue their family lines.
Astrid was hoping the earth would open up and swallow her before they got that far, if they got that far.
About halfway there, Hiccup leaned over toward her. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she whispered back.
"Good," he nodded. "Then brace yourself – it's going to be a wild ride."
He turned to the men who were escorting him. "Guys, would it be okay if I stepped into the bushes for a minute? I have to, you know... it's been a long night, and I drank a bunch of mead, and I'm kind of nervous."
Stoick was displeased. "Why didn't you think of that before we left home?"
"Sorry, Dad. I must have had something else on my mind."
"Fine, but make it quick." Hiccup scurried into a nearby bush. The parade waited until he rejoined them.
They waited some more.
"Somebody go in there and make sure he's okay," Stoick grumbled. Astrid's oldest brother looked into the bush.
"Well?" growled the chief.
"I don't see him," came the reply.
"What do you mean, you don't see him? Hiccup! Where are you? Answer me!" There was no answer.
Suddenly they heard a sound that chilled them to their bones. It was a high-pitched, rising whistle from above them. They all knew that sound, all too well.
"Night Fury!" someone shouted. "Get down!" called another. The entire wedding party threw themselves flat on the ground.
The entire party, that is, except for the bride. She stood straight, her arms out at her sides, tensing up. She heard the innocent-sounding "pfft" noise. A moment later, Hiccup's partially-built house was struck by a blue fireball and burst into flames. That was her cue. She braced herself.
Toothless tried to be gentle, but he was moving so fast that, when he caught her arms with his forelegs, he nearly dislocated her shoulders. Then he performed a remarkable move, one that Hiccup had described for him but which he hadn't been able to practice. He did a snap roll. Half way around, when he was upside-down, he let go of Astrid; she popped up into the air, slowly rotating right-side-up. When she fell, he had finished his roll, and she landed neatly on his back. Hiccup reached back to help her slide toward him, she wrapped her arms around him, and away they flew.
"It's done," he said. "There's no going back. We've destroyed a village building, and we've broken the law about public consummations. We're criminals now."
"As usual," she replied.
"I shudder when I think about what they wanted us to do in front of them," he went on.
"My mother used to tell me stories about princesses who got married," she added, "and they never had to do that."
"You got some of the princess treatment, though," he grinned. "Your prince rode to your rescue on his brave steed, saved you from an awful fate, and carried you off to his island castle." He bent down and patted Toothless' neck. "Nice job, bud. You did that roll-toss move perfectly." The dragon rumbled in delight.
They landed quickly behind the Hofferson house. The village was in fire-fighting mode; no one noticed the black dragon on this black night. She ran inside, gathered the two bags of her belongings that she'd prepared that morning, left a note that she hoped would explain things, and climbed back onto Toothless.
They turned their backs on Berk, just as Berk had turned its back on them, and flew out to sea.
She looked back over her shoulder; she could see the glowing remnants of the burning house. "Did you really have to destroy the house?" she asked.
"We needed a diversion," he answered. "I had to get everyone's eyes off of you, so no one could try and stop us. I knew no one would get hurt if we shot that half-a-house."
"Well, it worked," she nodded. She snapped her fingers. "So much for that consummation!"
"You do realize, we're still going to have a wedding night?" he asked, a bit nervously.
"Mm-hmm," she answered, and kissed him on the back of his neck. She felt him tense up. Good. Maybe she was scared half to death about what was going to happen, but at least he was nervous about it too.
They landed at their island an hour later. Hiccup retrieved a lantern he'd hidden outside the cave, and asked Toothless for a spark to light it. He led Astrid inside as Toothless curled up at the entrance.
She'd seen the interior of the cave only once, before he'd done anything to it except remove some cobwebs. Now she stared, open-mouthed, at what he'd accomplished. Most of it was covered in fresh-cut boards, giving her a real floor to walk on; the fresh-water stream flowed beneath the boards until it reached the cave mouth and flowed out. The walls and ceiling were clean, as was the spring that fed the stream. He'd hammered niches into the walls, which held candles of various sizes; he lit them from his lantern. He'd left a part of the stone floor bare, and he'd made a fire pit there out of a ring of stones that wouldn't roll away. Some basic furniture – chairs, a small table, some chests of drawers – was scattered here and there. In a side chamber was his bed, covered in sleeping furs – how had he brought that out here?
"Welcome to your new home, my bride," he smiled. They exchanged a lingering kiss. And then...
And then...
And then, our story's T rating kicked in. Sorry, you beady-eyed rascals; no lemons for you. The story will resume when they wake up in the morning.