Shadow boxing (Helen)
Shadow Days, by John Mayer
"Well it sucks to be honest
And it hurts to be real
But it's nice to make some love
That I can finally feel
Hard times let me be.
I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now."
"Damn!" Damon hissed and closed his eyes. I took my feet off his lap and sat up. "What are you thinking of?" I asked him. He looked at me. "It may be that...," he hesitated go on. "It may be that what?" I didn't let him out. He jumped up and walked to the fireplace. Putting his hands on the mantelpiece, he stared into the flames. "We just talked about decisions and consequences..." he murmured. It dawned on me that this couldn't be good. Was his past haunting us? "Wasn't Bree the name of the bar owner in Georgia, the one you've dragged me to back in the first year?" Elena suddenly asked. He nodded. "You've been together at college. Did you know her brother?" she dug deeper. I waited anxiously for his answer. "No, we've never met. But you remember the vampire who wanted to kill me back then?" he replied. "Oh yes, I do." Damon's hands clenched around the stone. "Bree had this trap arranged for me, Elena," he said. Her eyes widened and she stood up. "You went to her to say goodbye before we left," she whispered. "Well, I did," he replied. "What exactly did you do?" I wanted to know. He turned and looked me straight in the eye. His gaze was hard and controlled. "I tore her heart out."
He had taken vengeance on her. I closed my eyes for a moment. I had expected something brutal, but I was still a little shocked. "I had saved your life and only minutes later you've turned around and killed someone?" Elena was horrified. Damon said nothing. He walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. "You saved him? You never told us," Caroline pressed. Stefan watched the whole thing with interest, but said nothing. "The vampire who wanted to kill him had been Lexi's mate. He wanted to burn Damon in revenge for her death, but I begged him not to do it, in memory of Lexi's goodness. End of story." Elena crossed her arms as a sign that she didn't want to elaborate any further. "How strong he is, Mom?" I interrupted. I needed clarity what we were facing. "We don't know exactly, but he was already pretty damn good back then. I only managed to defeat him together with Bonnie's mother," Aunt Abby said. "Sheila has warned us, nothing more, but if a witch and a vampire work together, nothing is safe," my mother added. Stefan cleared his throat. "Well, that wouldn't be the first time that we have to deal with this combination!" My eyes widened in surprise. Mom gave me a serious glance. "Do you still want to stay?" she asked softly. I felt Damon's eyes resting on me and looked at him. Almost emotionless he stood there, only a short twitch of his eyebrows revealed his inner tension. He waited for my answer. "Yes." I got up and went to him. "Will you help me with the training?" He just nodded. "Well then, we'll start training tomorrow," I said, turning around to face the others.
My mother, Abigail and John went back to their hotel shortly after. They promised to come back the next day. Caroline and Tyler wanted to accompany John later in the evening to Liz' and also left. Only Stefan and Elena remained to spend the rest of the evening with us, but I longed for a rest without fuss or discussion and I had the feeling that Stefan wanted to talk to Elena alone. "Wanna go upstairs?" Damon finally broke the silence. He had been rather taciturn all the time and had only watched me. I just nodded. He lifted me on his arms without a word and carried me upstairs. "Damon! I'm getting lazy if you do that all the time," I scolded him jokingly, but he didn't even grin. In his room he sat me down on the bed and wanted to leave again when I caught him by the arm. "Stay," I asked. "Please." I didn't want him to drown his anger in alcohol, or do something stupid. "Why?" he asked sullenly, but sat down beside me on the bed. "I just want your company," I said and took his hand in mine. "I am currently not in the mood," he said. "What can I do to change that?" I asked. He ran his other hand through his hair. "Nothing, Helen, absolutely nothing," he said. "Damon, don't shut me out, please." I maneuvered myself beside him. "What do you want to hear, huh? That I'm sorry? That I regret it? Want the details?" he snapped at me.
"No, but you can talk to me - if you want. It's not that I don't care what you did back then, but I love you no less, got it?" I leaned against his side and put my arm around his waist, but he just stared straight ahead. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" he whispered after a while. "Maybe I have a chip on my shoulder. Maybe I'm just too stubborn," I replied softly. "Probably the latter," he replied sarcastically. I nudged him hard in the side with my elbow. "Ow." I just chuckled. "Serves you right," I teased. For a while, we sat in silence and I had the feeling that his tension subsided somewhat. "Rest a little," Damon finally said, standing up. He took my legs and lifted them onto the bed before I could protest. I straightened and let myself sink into the pillows. Then I grabbed his hand. "Don't leave me, please," I whispered. He just smiled and leaned over me. "Don't worry. I'll pull myself together," he said softly and kissed me on the forehead. "You won't do anything stupid or reckless and kill people?" I prodded worriedly. He shook his head. "I've got something to do in the basement, and then I'll be back, okay?" He looked at me with a mixture of amusement and seriousness. "All right," I gave in and pulled the blanket over me.
As I had expected, after a short time my eyelids drooped and I fell asleep. When I opened them again, I looked directly into two ice-blue pools. "Did you sleep well?" he whispered and kissed my nose. I stretched in his arms. "Yeah, what time is it?" I wanted to know. "Eight clock at night," he replied. "Wow! I've slept quite long," I replied. "Mh, I think you needed that," he purred, letting his lips wander over my face. I enjoyed his feathery kisses on my cheeks and my eyelids until he again sought my lips. Eagerly I lifted my head, but he withdrew smilingly. "I want to talk to you," he said. "Oh." He grinned. "Don't worry, I'll keep it short," he said. Then he took a deep breath. "Helen, when this is all over, I want you and the child to stay here with me." I looked at him in surprise. "I mean... the house is big enough. Stefan and Elena live in Richmond, your Aunt Liz would be around the corner and when your mother or Abigail come to visit, we always have enough guest rooms," he continued, tugging nervously at my hair. I was flabbergasted. I would've expected anything, but not the offer to shack up with him. "I honestly don't know what to say, Damon," I said, frowning. "Just say yes." I couldn't tear my eyes from his. His eyes seemed to almost overflow with feelings. "Would it be secure enough here?" I asked softly. He nodded. "If we sign the house over to you, yes, and I think Stefan wouldn't mind." He really wanted to this! "And if you don't like it here, we can still move away. Agreed?" I ran my hand through my hair.
He was serious, there was no doubt. "Phew, that 's... that's a tough decision," I said and looked at him. He frowned. "What's so difficult? I'm not asking you to marry me," he replied. Exactly, I thought. Not that I would've expected it from him, on the contrary. "You're only asking me to give up my life in Baton Rouge. That's what makes it so difficult for me," I retorted. He looked pensive. "Is this really your home, Damon? What does this place mean to you?" I asked now. I wanted to know exactly what moved him. His gaze lost focus, as if he saw pictures before his inner eye. He blinked and looked at me again. "Home... is a difficult concept. I believe what connects me to this place are the people here. Stefan, Elena, Bonnie and Matt or Liz - they all know me. Here, I don't need to cover up, you know?" Yes, I understood, but what about my needs? I was hoping for the support of my mother to go back to work. Could Damon come to terms with that? "I have two conditions," I said. He merely raised an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly. "First, I want to go back to work as soon possible and second, my family can visit me as often and as long as they want to." While I said that, a smile crept onto his face. "I can live with that," he said and kissed me thoroughly.
The next day I was awake quite early and went alone into the shower. When I came out, Damon had just gotten up. "Good morning," I greeted him cheerfully. "Did you finally quit sleeping?" Tired, he toddled into the bathroom. "Not everyone can sleep through for twelve hours," he muttered and went to shower. He had obviously stood guard again at night. While I was dressing, I thought about his offer again and looked around. There was plenty of room for a bassinet. I went out into the hallway. The stairs would have to be secured once the little one would in the crawling stage, I thought and opened the door to the room next to Damon's. It was ideal for a small child, perhaps for several... Startled, I found myself thinking of siblings before the baby was even there. Thoughtful I folded my hands on my stomach and imagined the interior in my mind. "Would you like that?" I whispered to my stomach. Suddenly I felt a draft behind me and Damon's arms wrapped around me from behind. "Nest building plans?" he whispered and kissed my cheek. Smiling, I turned around and looked at his grinning face. "First, the bird has to be there and then the nest equipment," I replied and kissed him. His eyes lit up and he took my hand. "Come with me," he said and pulled me to the next staircase. "Where are we going?" I asked breathlessly. "I want to show you something," he said. "Hey, why such a hurry?" Elena asked as we walked past Stefan's room. I just shrugged and hurried to keep up with Damon.
Elena and Stefan followed us, curious to see where Damon was headed. At the end of the hallway Damon stopped in front of a door. "What do you want in the old junk room?" Stefan asked surprised. Damon turned to me and ignored his brother. "Please close your eyes, it's a surprise," he said, reaching for the doorknob. I followed his request and listened as he opened the door. "Okay, open your eyes." I did it, squinting to get used to the dim light of the bulb. Then I entered the room. It was in fact a junk room, cluttered with old furniture and objects from ancient times. To my right I saw at once an old crib. It looked like a bassinet, but it could probably be used later on too. It had a rustic wooden frame with turned legs and side bars and carved head and foot. It seemed to be entirely American colonial style. Damon obviously had freed it from the dust and it just had to be equipped with a mattress. "It belonged to our family and I found it last night," he said softly. I ran my fingertips over the wood and shook the headboard gently. "It's still in good condition," he added. I shook my head. "Damon, Damon, you really don't make it easy for me," I said, turning to face him. Elena grinned but Stefan frowned, just like his brother. I went up to him and put my arms around his neck. "How could I say no, huh?" I said and kissed him. He hugged me. "Then you like it?" I nodded. "We'll put it into operation again." He picked me up in his arms and spun once around.
I clung to him. "Damon!" I squeaked, but he only laughed. Finally, he sat me down and covered my cheeks with his hands. "I love you." He kissed me so intensely that I forgot everything around me. When he finally let me go, we were alone. "You are a very special man, Damon Salvatore," I said breathlessly and sank my gaze into his. "Helen, your mother is here," I finally heard Elena call from the stairs. I sighed. "And again reality catches up with us." He grinned. "It won't be too bad," he comforted me. On the stairs we met Stefan. "Well, have fun getting yourself grilled - Daddy," he joked, but he hadn't counted on Damon. He grabbed him by the collar. "YOU will be so nice and join us - Uncle Stefan," he replied and dragged him down the stairs. All his protest was in vain and finally Stefan acquiesced. Elena was already down there and Caroline was also present. "Hey, Mom, Aunt Abby." They both looked quite recovered. "John isn't here?" I asked as we hugged each other. "No, he went to see Liz this morning. She was amazingly nice to us last night," my mother said. "Must be John. I think she likes him," Caroline interjected giggling.
"Okay, shall we get started?" Damon threw in. We went into the parlor and the vampires among us began to move the furniture aside. "I really like the couch, so please, don't set it on fire," Damon requested. When they were finished, we took positions opposite each other across the room. "Helen, you will watch first," Aunt Abby said. I stood beside her against the wall and waited. "Attack me," my mother said, and waited in the middle of the room. "What, just like that?" Caroline asked. My mom nodded. "Just like that." I could hardly believe what I saw next. Caroline tried it first. In vampire speed she flew towards my mother and Stefan began to move next. In the next second, both rolled in pain on the floor. Damon and Elena held themselves back. "Damon, do something," Elena said. He just shook his head. "Attacking a witch so obviously is stupid," he said. "One has to surprise them." While he spoke, he appeared next to Aunt Abby and held his teeth to her neck. Then he let her go again immediately. I saw that my aunt was obviously impressed, and her breath came faster than usual. "Damn, Jess'. Am I glad that he's on our side," she gasped.
Damon stepped back a few steps. "My single priority is Helen," he replied curtly. My mother grinned. "Well roared, Lion." She nodded to me. "Helen, it's your turn." I gulped and walked into the middle. "Okay, I want you to concentrate on one of them. Just think of pain. Let's see what happens." I looked around. Damon smiled at me encouragingly. Who should I pick? I chose Caroline, thinking of the worst headache I had ever had. "It's buzzing a little in my head. Is that all?" Caroline asked, frowning. I sighed. "I've never tried it, no idea how it works." Damon frowned. "Then learn it," he said coldly and walked straight up to me. "Come on, defend yourself," he snapped at me. I backed away and already he had taken me by the shoulders. "You're dead. Again!" he growled and darted back to his place. My heartbeat quickened and he actually was serious about this. This time he let his face vamp out and ran faster towards me. Again I wasn't fast enough. "Damn it, Helen! Defend yourself at last," he snapped at me. "Again!" He nodded to the others. Four vampires with vamped out faces hissed and moved slowly toward me. That was scary! I closed my eyes and imagined torn blood vessels. The cries made me open my eyes again and I saw all four writhing in pain on the floor. I immediately stopped and ran over to Damon.
He gasped loudly as the pain stopped and looked at me with a grimace. I felt queasy when I thought that I was the reason for it. "I think... we can assume... that she knows how to do it," he groaned. "God, how I hate that!" he complained. "Cool down, Salvatore, you won't die!" Bonnie's voice made me spin around. She and Jeremy stood in the passage to the parlor. "It's about time this house gets a few wards spells. Anyone could just walk in like that," she commented on her unnoticed intrusion. Stefan, Elena, Caroline and Damon bobbed up again. "Hi Bonnie," Elena greeted them. She just waved back. "Want to help us?" my mother asked. Bonnie stretched her chin. "Have you ever considered that she might have to defend herself against the warlock?" she said. "Are you offering yourself as a practice object?" Damon inquired. "Maybe better than going against her own family members," she replied dryly. "That's nice of you, Bonnie, but I don't want to hurt you," I replied. "Who says you can do that?" She smiled maliciously and waved casually with her hand.
The next moment, a book landed only a hair's breadth next to me on the floor. "Wow! Look out!" Damon called. The next one I was able to fend off with a gesture. Okay, if that's what she wants, I thought, and raised my hands. First, I created a vortex of air around her, but she swirled it away immediately. Now I felt pressure directed against me, which threatened to sweep me off my feet. I produced an invisible barrier between us and reflected her power back on her. The flames in the fireplace struck significantly higher - a sign that Bonnie drew power from them. I put them out with a whirl of a wind and then I got an idea. Maybe I could cut Bonnie from all sources of power! I concentrated on putting a sort of invisible dome over her, lowering it slowly. She gasped in horror. "W - what are you doing?" she cried. "I'm only blocking you," I said. Strange that she reacted so upset. I felt her resistance, but her power went out like a flame without oxygen. "No! Stop it!" she cried. I let her go. Trembling, she stood there. "Bonnie, everything okay? For God's sake, you're white as a sheet," I said and went to her. Elena and Caroline placed her on a chair. "I'm fine again," she grumbled defensively. My mother and aunt nodded at each other. "You've lost your powers at some point in the past, haven't you?" Aunt Abigail asked directly. I looked at Bonnie. She just nodded. "But I just cut you off from your source of energy," I tried to clarify in consternation. "It felt as if something in me was dying, and I panicked, that's all." She waved aside.
On this day we still practiced a little further, but we would've devastated the house if we witches had "let off some steam". So we stopped after a few hours. My head was spinning and using magic was strenuous. Damon only watched us most of the time. After a break for lunch, he insisted on practicing with me a little more in direct combat and asked me to show him what I had learned from John. "Not bad for a human, but still too slow. Better rely on your magic when it matters," he said at the end of the training. Panting, I agreed. I was completely out of breath and plopped down on the couch. Suddenly I felt my insides clench and my belly was hard as a board. "Ah! What's that?" I cried. It wasn't really that painful, but it felt as if the baby did somersaults. Instantly, Damon was at my side. "What's going on? Did you ... are you in pain?" he asked anxiously. I shook my head. My mother knelt down next to me and put her hand on my belly. She gently rubbed her palm over it and smiled. "Don't panic, these are just practice contractions. Perhaps they are now a little stronger because of the effort." I looked at her. "Are you sure?" She nodded. „Do you remember the doctor in Baton Rouge in November? She told you how it would feel," she said. "Right, now that you mention it... That wasn't the first time, but usually I don't notice anything," I replied. "Lie back and breathe into it, this will help relax everything," she said.
I followed her advice and in fact my belly relaxed soon. We stopped training that afternoon, but made sure to continue in the next few days. Damon took care to teach me in physical combat. He challenged me, always attacked in everyday situations by surprise. The others held back with physical attacks, probably for fear of hurting me, or losing control. I was constantly on alert and after four days I was finally able for the first time to parry Damon's attack successfully. He had pushed me against the wall in the hallway and was about to place his teeth on my neck. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," I panted hard. He chuckled. "Why not?" he purred. I grinned. "Look down." He glanced down between our bodies and saw that I had directed a thin wooden stake to his heart, just below his ribs.
Instead of biting me, he kissed me and let me go. "I 'm officially impressed. You could've killed me with this one," he said, nodding approvingly. John had tinkered a cuff for my wrist which held a thin stake. This was extremely useful and unobtrusive. "I think now you're well prepared for the new year," my mother said with a laugh. Junior found the whole thing not always pleasing and thanked me from time to time with poking against my ribs, because he - or she - was obviously about to turn. Breathing was sometimes difficult, especially on exertion and Damon promised me a longer break. "We don't want something going wrong, right?" he said worriedly. I had talked over the phone with Dr. Fell and arranged a routine checkup for next week. It was amazing what had developed in such a short time. My family respected Damon, his old "companions" cared intensely about our situation and even Bonnie Bennett made no more snide remarks about Damon. Everything seemed to turn out for the best short of the year's end.