People wondered why Eliot was the way he was; what one event that made him so angry, what tipped him over the edge, why he did the things that he did and why he felt the regret that he did.

The truth was it was a lot of things; he had gotten lost along the way

He never intended to become the brutal man that he was; things had just sort of turned out that way. When he joined the service he had done so because he wanted to help, to make a difference, to serve his country, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves and because he had desperately needed the money to care for his family. Looking back now he realised it was a naïve view to have; the child Eliot was before his first tour could never have comprehended the atrocities that he would encounter and the things that he would have to do. That child could never have understood the darkness in the world and if someone were to tell him about the man he would become, he would have dismissed it in an instant. He always believed in integrity and honour and principal and never, ever thought he would throw those things away and, in truth, he never did.

Those morals just got buried; buried beneath the tragedy and anguish he had experienced. Lost in the battle for survival. But they were still there, and slowly beginning to re-emerge.

The team was rebuilding him.

Although it was a lot of things that turned him into the man (although Eliot may say monster) that we was, if someone was to ask him, he would say it was Moreau.

He had gotten lost in his way before, but his sister had always been there to guide him back; she was the one who had made him stay grounded, made him feel loved, made him feel safe and made him realise that he could always be the man he was before.

But Moreau had taken that away.

He had torn the hope and love away from within his life.

From, there, Eliot would say, that was where things had changed.

He had done things for Moreau that he would have never considered doing, where it not for the longing to keep the only pure thing left in his life.

He didn't believe that he could do them at first; he thought he would have frozen or backed out, but the more he did it the more, to his horror, he got used to it. He got used to releasing the anger; the anguish surrounding his childhood, the untimely death of his mother, the decline of this father and brother, the loss of his sister and the torment of war.

He realised the irony of course, the irony of destroying other lives and other families in an attempt to save his own, but he tried to forget it. For Abby's sake, he couldn't afford to himself think in that way; to be principled and care for a second about the lives of others. But he did care and the pain, and the guilt and the gut wrenching remorse with that caring, was something that he lived with and something which he believed he deserved.

Before had had worked for Moreau the pain, both physical and psychological, was something he put up with, not because he thought he deserved it, but because it was a necessary part of the job. He didn't enjoy it, but could put up with it because he knew that he was saving someone's life and doing something good in the world. But after what he did Moreau, the pain came as a welcome penance.

He often wondered what kept him sane. He wondered what kept him from losing the sense of guilt and becoming like the rest of Moreau's men; no longer caring about the lives he took. The answer was, of course, Abigail.

He would come home from 'work' and she would be there, happy and joyful; innocent and ignorant to the world around her. Her smile, her eyes, her intelligence made him forget all of his experiences as realise the beauty in the world.

It almost made everything better.

That was another thing people wondered about; Eliot and people.

The team had seen him of jobs with children and he had seemed tense and uncomfortable but it was only because it hurt him. To be around the light-heartedness and purity of children reminded him too much of the children he had left behind; the child in himself, and the flesh and blood child that was his niece.

Hurt.

In truth, that was the reason Eliot acted the way he did most of the time.

The bitter angry exterior was really him hurting or rather, trying not to hurt an ymore. He would act angry because he didn't want to let anyone else in; to save them and himself from getting hurt.

People thought that Eliot didn't feel things, except anger, but the truth was he didn't let himself feel the good things; he had learned the hard way that those feelings will get people hurt.

People wondered why Eliot put up with the team, especially Nate; a drunkard control freak. He did it because he had to, and because he understood. He had learned from experience with his own father what drives some men to the bottle and for Nate and Spencer Senior, it had been pain. Eliot had seen first hand that the pain of loss could cause so much grief that you can shut out anyone who remotely reminded you of the person that you'd lost.

The loss of Nate's son and the loss of Spencer's wife had been too much to bear and solice was sought at the bottom of a glass of whiskey.

Eliot didn't like it and Nate got no sympathy or special treatment because of it, but he understood it.

Eliot didn't put up with his father the same way he did with Nate and the difference between them was that Nate was trying to do good and to rebuild his life; his father didn't.

People also wondered what had made Eliot change in the last few weeks after Moreau's takedown.

There were two reasons.

The first was that, after nearly 9 years, began to feel good again. He was finally doing something solidly good.

Eliot couldn't fix the world, something he knew all too well, but his experiences with the team made him realize that he could fix some of it; that he could begin to put back the pieces of the world that he'd had a hand in breaking. He was becoming the person that the child he used to be, was believed he could become.

Yes, he still had blood, so much blood, on his hands but he was moving forward. Little by little redeeming himself for the crimes he had committed against humanity.

The second was changing was, again, Abigail.

She had, somehow, made him begin to forgive himself for what he had done. Her smile, her eyes, her intelligence and the joyful, beautiful view she held of life, despite all of her tribulations made him realise the beauty and the hope in the world.

He still felt the guilt of course, but her and the team made it more bearable and made him look towards the future and not just dwelling on the mistakes of his past.

"Don't let your mistakes become your identity."

Fin.