A/n: Wow, guys, I'm sorry it's been so freaking long since I last updated! You'll be happy to know, though, that my happy Weasley family is back in full form, so please enjoy!
And a note: the flashback takes place the Halloween following the end of the Second Wizarding War. Just thought I'd mention it for your benefit.
The Tales of Weasley the Father
By dieselwriter
Chapter 12: The Tale of Tricks and Treats
Ron scanned the newspaper without really taking in much of the words. Rosie was likewise trying to read a book, with hardly any more success than her father. Hugo was impatiently tapping his hand on the counter, a bored expression playing across his features.
"I still wish I could have gone as Voldemort," he broke the silence, gesturing to the skeleton costume he was wearing.
"No one knows who Voldemort is around here," Rosie replied, turning the page more for something to do than actually being done with the last page.
"I dunno…I think you look just like him," Ron said, his lip turning up but his eyes staying on the newsprint in front of him. "Costume or no."
"Gee, thanks dad."
"No problem, son."
"You know I get these looks from you."
Rosie stifled her laugh in her gloved hands. Hugo grinned widely as Ron rolled up the newspaper he had given up on reading. He swatted his son playfully on the top of the head with it as Rosie too gave up on her book and laughed at the pair of them.
"Rosie," Hermione entered the kitchen, laden with winter clothes and accessories, "I really think you should wear the hat I knitted for you. It's going to be cold tonight."
"Mum," Rosie sighed, having had this conversation at least four times already, "no one's going to be able to know what I am if your hat covers up my ears!"
Hermione glanced over her daughter's cat costume with a frown before she unburdened herself by laying out the coats, gloves, and hats on the table.
"But I don't want any of your ears to get cold," she said, holding the hat out to her daughter.
"Hermione," Ron tried to help out his daughter by plucking the hat out of his wife's hand, "if she wears this, everyone will mistake her costume for a cat with a potato stuck to its head."
Rosie and Hugo grinned but knew better than to show their mother their humor as she turned to give Ron a dangerous glare.
"My hat does not look like a potato—"
"I thought it was supposed to be a wooly bladder?"
Everyone sans the angry Hermione grinned delightedly as a bemused Harry Potter stuck his head round the doorway.
"FINALLY!" Rosie and Hugo both shouted as they bolted out of the kitchen and headed straight for the living room, where they knew they would soon be joined by their Aunt Ginny and Cousins Albus and Lily.
"Took you long enough," Ron said as he walked over to his friend in order to punch him in the shoulder in greeting.
"Well Al took 10 minutes finding a bag big enough to fit all the candy he plans to collect tonight, and Lily took another 20 to find her tiara, which ended up being in Artemis' bird cage. Not sure how that happened exactly."
"Not that surprising, is it?" Ron grimaced. "That bird of yours will snatch up anything if it sits still long enough. I hope you lock your bedroom door before you go to sleep at night."
Lady hooted quietly from her cage, and Ron grinned appreciatively at his own much smarter owl.
"See? Lady's only been over to your house once, and she knows how it is."
Harry only grumbled a response, easily remembering how his owl Artemis had attempted to steal the letter Ron's new bird had delivered earlier in the week.
"It's been awhile since we've done this, hasn't it?" Hermione asked suddenly, pulling out a chair and sitting in it.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked. "We do this every year, Hermione. Take the kids round the neighborhood, then come back here to drink all the alcohol in the house while the kids eat their weight in sweets."
"I didn't mean that," Hermione said, throwing the hat she was holding at Harry. He caught it deftly with a smile. "I meant it's been a while since you guys have all been over here—"
"THEY'RE HERE!"
"Wonder why that is," Ron rolled his eyes as Rosie, Hugo, Al, and Lily stormed into the kitchen, a grinning Ginny in tow.
"Sorry we're late," she said, ruffling Al's hair to his half-hearted protestations.
"Next year I'm going as a mummy," he muttered. "They don't have hair."
"But I like your werewolf costume," Ginny said, still running her hands through his hair motherly. "Very scary."
"Coming from my mum, that means a lot," he groused.
"Uncle Ron! Auntie Hermione!" Lily smiled from ear to ear as she twirled around in her sparkly costume. "Guess what I am!"
"Well you're a princess, aren't you…" Ron trailed off as she glanced at Ginny's suddenly stricken face. He looked down at his young niece to find her looking close to tears. "Er, no, I mean…"
Hermione analyzed Lily's costume and saw the plastic wings on her back, a feature Ron had accidentally overlooked. She gave an odd cough which sounded oddly like "Fairy!"
As his sister nodded her head frantically, he replied nervously.
"Fairy…princess…?"
To his relief Lily's frown was replaced with a bright smile as she ran over to hug him tightly round the legs. Al and Hugo both rolled their eyes at this display of overt affection, but Rosie gave a faint smile quite similar to Hermione and Ginny's. Ron could only be thankful that his own daughter had never been as girly as her cousin.
"Right, my fairy princess," Harry said as he picked up his daughter and threw her into the air. "Are you ready for some trick-or-treating?"
The seven year old screamed in delight as her father caught her and carefully set her on the ground. All the children in fact had wide smiles as they crowded and shoved their way through the doorway leading into the hall.
"All right, make way, I have to set out the sweets!" Ron shouted out over the children's shrieks of delight. He grabbed the bowl of Muggle sweets before opening the front door carefully, making sure to not stub any of his or his sister's children's toes. They rushed out excitedly as he finally made it out behind them, an amused Harry, Hermione, and Ginny in tow.
Ron locked the front door behind them and set the enchanted bowl of candy on the porch steps, knowing that if the candy ran out it would refill itself with the candy in a similar bowl in the kitchen. Hermione had set it up years ago, using a magic similar to the one the Hogwarts house elves used to keep refilling the food and drink offered every meal at Hogwarts, including the Halloween feast that was no doubt occupying the mind of the missing James.
"Back in my day," Ron grumbled as he caught up with the rest of his family, "we did things a little differently on Halloween."
The faces of all four children turned from eagerness to that of horrified dread.
"Dad, no!"
"Uncle Ron, c'mon, it's Halloween!"
"Like that would ever stop him from telling a story."
Ron's scowl became more pronounced as Rosie and Al laughed at Hugo's joke, and Lily laughed merely to fit in with her cousins and brother.
"Well I know that story," Harry chimed in, and his own children groaned, clearly having heard it before. "Oh, come on, guys; it's a good one!"
Both clearly thought otherwise, but distracted themselves by running up the driveway of Mrs. Puckle's house along with Rosie and Hugo.
"We'll tell it when they get back," Ron smirked, knowing full well that his children would be back and in far fouler spirits when they remembered that Mrs. Puckle only gave out sugar-free sweets on Halloween.
"What do you mean you've never celebrated Halloween?!" Ron shouted in indignation, as if personally offended.
"Well, as loving and caring as the Dursleys undoubtedly were, I'd stay home with my uncle while Aunt Petunia'd take Dudley out. Dudley hated it…she wouldn't let any sweet touch his bag until she made sure it wasn't poisonous. Overall it was actually a pretty enjoyable affair, whenever I'd be able to sneak a sweet out of the treat bowl under Uncle Vernon's nose. It was kinda like a game."
Ron swapped a highly incredulous look at the ceiling, as if he expected it to give an 'I can't believe this guy either' response, before turning back to his best friend.
"That's arguably the most pathetic story I've ever heard in my life, Harry."
"Arguably?"
"Well I've heard about your love life with my sister—"
"Oh shut up."
Ron laughed as he threw a handful of Floo powder into the fireplace and stuck his head in.
"What're you—"
Ron waved his arm in response to his incomplete question, a sign Harry took to mean he was supposed to be quiet.
"George, what're you doing tonight?"
Ron waited for a response, but obviously Harry couldn't hear it, being on the wrong side of the conversation.
"Harry's never had a Weasley Halloween before. Care to assist?"
Harry opened his mouth, trying to work out some form of retaliation for this, but couldn't really think of a response. As his friend continued his conversation with his brother, Harry couldn't help but feel a smile forming on his face at having been included in another Weasley family tradition.
"Right, okay then. See you in a few."
Ron withdrew his head from the fire, gave it a shake as he readjusted to being in the living room of the Burrow again, and stood up, grinning broadly.
"Right, that's settled; grab your cloak and wand."
"Don't I need a costume or something?" Harry asked, unsure as to what exactly he should be expecting.
But Ron merely laughed at the idea, waving his hand to sweep Harry out of the room.
"No, Harry, no."
Harry flushed a bit but said nothing more as he left the room and returned a few minutes later, cloak on and wand safely tucked away in his pocket.
"How's it going, Harry?" George asked with a bright smile, handing a large rucksack over to Ron. "Ready for a bit of Weasley Halloween fun?"
"I guess so," Harry replied, feeling unexpectedly shy.
"That's the spirit," Ron said, hauling the rucksack onto his shoulder before looping his arm around Harry's and marching him out of the room and into the hallway.
"Now Harry, there's probably a few things you should know," George said as they left the house and walked down the front yard of the Burrow, heading toward the little town quite a ways off. "First off, Mum and Dad have no idea about this, yeah? So if they ask where we've been off to, we just say we were at the shop, providing sweeties and free merchandise to the poor little children wandering up and down Diagon Alley."
Harry snorted at the idea of George dishing out treats from the front of his shop to the eager masses of children undoubtedly littering the magical street.
"Second," George continued, holding up two fingers on his hand to emphasize his point, "what we are doing is not out of some teenage act of rebellion; we vandalize because we care about the little children of Ottery St. Catchpole."
Again, Harry couldn't hold down his skepticism as he rolled his eyes at the idea of George volunteering his efforts to help out innocent Muggle children.
"Third," George iterated, holding up another finger, "remember to have fun. We Weasleys put the trick back in trick-or-treating. In our modern day and age, many people seem to forget the first option, when oftentimes it is the only option."
Harry smiled as the two brothers led him down toward the village, full-intent on their Robin Hood-esque attitude on punishing the adults to help out the needy children.
"Now here we go," George said as he approached the first empty street in the village. "Weasleys have not been able to defend the children of Ottery St. Catchpole in years, since we've all been away at school for the past many many years. As such, it'll be a nice surprise for them all to learn that we're back. I suggest we start off with the usual. What do you think, Ron?"
"Sounds perfect," Ron said as he opened the rucksack on his back, pulling out the necessary equipment for their first trick of the night.
"Would you like to do the honors?" George asked, taking a firework from Ron's hand and passing it over to their newcomer.
"Are you sure about this?" Harry asked skeptically, even as he pulled his wand out of his pocket.
"Absolutely; this way the adults will be on their best behavior," George replied, nodding his head fervently, "knowing we're back in town."
Some odd form of teenage revelry passed through Harry as he lit the firework on fire and watched it explode into the air, in a fiery display of red and gold. Some of the children on the street next to them screamed in surprise and then delight as the glitter slowly rained down on them.
"The Red Bandits are back in town!" George said, giving Ron a high five.
"The True Defenders of Halloween!" Ron replied with a wide grin.
"The Red Bandits?" Harry asked doubtfully, with a hint of a snigger at the ridiculous name.
"The kids in the neighborhood came up with it," Ron said with a shrug. "One year there was a house only giving out raisins. Bill launched a raisin-expelling fountain on the front yard, and he was nearly caught by a rampaging neighbor. He got away, and the only thing the neighbor was able to identify was his red hair. So when the kids see one of our pranks they know it's the result of the Red Bandits."
"And you thought my stories were pathetic," Harry mumbled, but George was already five steps ahead of him, heading down another desolate street.
"Hang tight, Harry," Ron said, grabbing onto his friend's shoulder as George disappeared down an alleyway. "He's going to scope out the neighborhood and let us know where to head first."
So Harry and Ron waited shiftily in the entrance to the dark alleyway, waiting for George to return. It took well over a half hour before he returned, but he had a devilish grin on his face, and it was obvious he had run into a few good houses to vandalize.
"I've found some good ones," was all George said before he turned back around, and Harry and Ron followed a few paces behind.
"The miserable git that live in this house," George said, as they approached a dilapidated house with one porch light flickering ominously, "had a bowl of about four sweets on his front porch. So he honestly thought only four children were going to go trick-or-treating. It's an outrage, really, to the poor children of this fair town."
"Agreed," Ron said, pulling off his bag full of tricks to reach in and pull out an ordinary looking chicken egg.
"Are you sure you're sure about this?" Harry asked hesitantly, as Ron handed an egg over each to his brother and to his friend.
"C'mon, Harry, this prat deserves it!" George said as he unleashed his egg at the house, and Harry watched in surprise as the egg increased in size to the point it was about the size of a cantaloupe before exploding on the front door, the large yolk landing perfectly on the welcome mat as egg white smeared all over the front door.
"Nice one!" Ron shouted appreciatively before letting his own egg fly, and it likewise expanded before reaching the side of the house in a massive display of egg shell and goo.
"Your turn, Harry."
Harry looked guiltily from his egg to the house and then to the two brothers, who had their arms crossed and were looking rather dangerous.
"No pressure," Harry muttered sarcastically before winding up and pitching the egg at the house. Ron and George whooped in appreciative celebration as the egg landed nearby George's on the front door.
The next few houses passed in a similar fashion; George telling the infarction the residents of the house committed before Ron chose a suitable punishment from his rucksack. Harry's grimace became more and more pronounced as more and more houses got vandalized. But the night was winding down and they ran into less children by the time they reached a darkened street; the only light came from the street lamps and the porch light from one house with a birdbath in the front yard.
"Guys, this doesn't seem right," Harry muttered for the umpteenth time, knowing full well what was coming as George and Ron stopped at the first mailbox.
"Harry, don't be such a stick in the mud," Ron replied, again for about the twelve time that night.
"Yeah, Harry; we haven't got caught yet, have we?"
"And that surprisingly isn't as comforting as you'd imagine."
"Oh put a sock in it."
Harry crossed his arms and frowned as Ron readied the knapsack.
"Now this lovely house on the left," George flourished, pointing to the dark and seemingly desolate home on the left side of the street, "holds a couple that has kept the lights off in an attempt to stave off little children from coming forward to ring the doorbell. Despite the lights being off, though, it's obvious to see through the front window that they are currently watching the telly.
"However, according to my sources, house number two," here, George pointed to the lighted house across the street, "has been giving out pencils for treats. Now boys, I ask you; which house first? The one not bothering to make an effort, or those making such a crap effort that they might as well not try at all?"
Harry rolled his eyes as Ron rubbed his temples in an effort to look focused on a serious problem, rather than which house to vandalize first. After a moment's effort, though, it was clear Ron wasn't going to come up with a response, so he turned to look at Harry hopefully.
"Well, Harry? This is your first Weasley Halloween; you make the call."
Harry threw Ron a half-hearted glare, but seeing the eager smile on his best friend's face, he knew that this was an important tradition, one he was not willing to let end.
"No one likes a quitter," Harry finally said with a small grin, taking his own advice as he pointed to the house on the left.
"Excellent choice, my friend," George said, now sifting through the contents of his rucksack. "What do you suggest we hit them with first?"
Harry's smile widened as he made his third choice of the night, and it was a mere two minutes later that the television-watching couple were bombarded with trick-or-treaters, seeing as how their entire front porch was alight with an impossible number of friendly-looking jack-o-lanterns.
"Nice one, Harry," Ron grinned appreciatively as he turned around to face the house on the opposite side of the street. "Next!"
"I agree," George said, staying hidden in the bushes in front of the offending house as well. "Someone needs to teach this next house that writing utensils are not adequate Halloween treats."
"Can we use the dragon one?" Harry asked, rustling some leaves as he peeked over the edge of Ron's knapsack.
"Now that's the spirit, Harry!" Ron said, pulling out the firework.
George did the honors this time, lighting the firework and watching it wiz about the yard, the dragon roaring with indignation on behalf of the vandalizers and the children on the opposite side of the street with rulers in their bags.
"Well next I reckon the house on the corner. They've been trying to get away with these cheap plastic spider rings, if you can imagine—"
"OI!"
All three looked up in surprise, not expecting the hulking form of the man shadowed in the doorway of the house they just unleashed with a fiery dragon. The man advanced out onto his lawn, brandishing a pencil, and looking for the culprits currently hiding in the shrubbery by his mailbox.
George and Harry both tried to stifle their roaring laughter at seeing this ridiculous weapon choice, but Ron was squinting through the leaves, trying to make out the man's face.
"Hang on," he said, as the man silhouetted in the yard by the light spilling from his open front door, "isn't that…?"
The man seemed to hear their rustling and he waved the pencil held tight in his hand, and in the next instant their feet were literally rooted in the ground as their shoes were buried in the dirt below them.
"The Fawcetts!" Ron snapped his fingers, finally able to realize why the man looked familiar. His was one of the only Wizarding families living in Ottery St. Catchpole.
"Oh shit," Harry said, looking as if he sincerely regretted his decision to join in on the fun as Fawcett stalked forward, a malicious grin on his face.
"RUN!" George shouted, as he waved his wand at their feet and they all instantly became loose and were able to free themselves.
They pushed back the bushes of their hiding spot and sprinted up the street, Fawcett in hot pursuit.
"GET BACK HERE AND GET RID OF THIS THING!" he was shouting, waving what was now obvious to be a wand rather than a pencil.
George, leading the pack, made a sharp turn on a completely deserted alleyway, and Ron and Harry followed, hoping to lose their pursuer.
"Tarantallegra!"
Ron gave a surprised yelp as he was hit in the back with the spell. His feet were suddenly out of his control as he tripped spectacularly, his palms scraping the cement as he landed, his legs danced wildly behind him of their own accord.
"Go on without me!" Ron shouted to the others, who had run ahead but turned around at his shout.
"Okay!" George replied before continuing off down the alleyway.
"Bastard," Ron growled as Harry doubled back, trying to reach his friend before Fawcett did.
"Don't be so melodramatic," Harry said as he approached, brandishing his own wand to lift the curse.
Ron quickly scrambled to his feet as he and Harry dashed head, and they could hear the heavy pants of Fawcett as he began to slow down behind them.
"We've got him!" Ron said as he made a right at the end of the alleyway, running only a little ways before realizing it was a dead end.
"Shit," Harry muttered, turning back around to see Fawcett's shadow rounding the corner. "What do we do?"
The old brick surrounded them from three sides, making a prison where the only way out was to get caught by the irate pencil-giver.
But Ron was already a step ahead, rummaging frantically through his knapsack as the shadow of Fawcett descended on them slowly.
"AHA!" Fawcett and Ron shouted at the same time, and as the shadowy man raised his wand in triumph, Ron threw whatever he had just found forward.
They were instantly surrounded in an absolute darkness, and Harry realized Ron must have unleashed Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. Ron grabbed Harry's arm with his left hand and kept his right hand on the right side of their former brick prison. He used his hand to guide him down the alley, hoping to sidestep the large man.
"GOTCHA!"
Harry was tugged back as Fawcett somehow latched onto Harry's other arm, but Ron was again ready.
"Relashio!"
Harry was freed as Fawcett was forced to relent his hold, and Ron continued dragging him along the alleyway. The powder had spread far; they scrambled down the whole street in an attempt to find light.
Nearing what they knew to be the street, they ran faster and Ron released his grip on Harry as they made it out of the alleyway.
Harry relished in the not-as-dark street, but cringed a moment later as a harsh metallic clang reached his ears.
He turned to find Ron on the ground, apparently having run headlong into the street lamp standing in front of him.
"Ouch," Harry muttered as he went forward, making sure his friend was all right. "Very nicely planned, Ron."
"I just saved you back there, Harr," Ron slurred, sitting up and grimacing as he felt a large bump begin to form on his forehead. "I don't wanna hear it."
Harry helped him to his feet, and he swayed a moment before finding his bearings.
"You okay?" Harry asked worriedly as Ron walked drunkenly down the sidewalk.
"This is nothing," Ron said as Harry caught up to him. "You should've seen the year I was eight. The guy came out just before I was about to launch an egg. He somehow caught the damn thing, and threw it right back!"
"Wouldn't it be better to have egg on your face than that giant lump?" Harry asked, glancing nervously at how large the bump had swelled in just a minute.
"Ha, good one Harr," Ron garbled, turning down another side street only to collide headlong into something else.
"Hey, watch it!" George said as he remained on his feet, while Ron fell down again.
"Sorr," Ron mumbled, trying to find his feet again.
"You all right there, Ronnie?" George asked, looking down at his youngest brother with mild concern.
"He bumped his head," Harry said, helping Ron to his feet again.
"Guess we'd better call it a night, then," George said, taking the rucksack from his brother, who did not complain at his lightened load.
They headed out of the complicated maze of side streets and alleyways, not before passing a group of giggling costumed children.
"Did you see the fireworks in front of the Fawcett's house?" one little girl squealed.
"I told you the Red Bandits were back!" a boy dressed as a pirate replied. "My big brother told me all about them. One year they apparently blew up Old Man Erwin's whole collection of garden gnomes!"
The whole collection of children giggled in appreciation, and as they left them behind Ron started to laugh as well.
"Did you have fun, then, Harr?" he asked through his laughter, and George looked at his baby brother nervously, clearly wondering how much damage his head injury had caused.
But Harry laughed a bit as well, seeing the goofy grin spread across Ron's head.
"I had an absolute blast. Thanks, Ron."
Ron's smile widened at Harry's sincere words, and they trudged up to the house, not looking forward to the reaction Mrs. Weasley was bound to have at seeing the large bump covering half of her son's forehead.
"And that," Ron said as Harry chuckled at his side, "should be the true meaning of Halloween."
"How does vandalizing people's property constitute a meaning?" Hermione asked skeptically.
"Well, people need to be more relaxed about this holiday," Ron said, watching his children and nephew and niece skip up happily to the next house. "So much stress over giving out a few treats…."
"I can't believe you hit up the Fawcett's," Ginny said in surprise. "Where was I during this catastrophe?"
"Hogwarts," Harry said. "And he deserved it…what kind of person gives out pencils for Halloween?!"
"Terribly cruel people, that's who," Ron said with an understanding nod. "This holiday's for the kids; I don't see why some people go through such effort to try to muck it up. How hard is it to answer the door and give out something full of sugar?"
Ginny and Hermione laughed at his sudden seriousness on such a flippant topic, and Harry shook his head wearily.
"I don't think he ever got over that bump to the head," he said, and Ron shoved him while Ginny and Hermione laughed even harder.
A/n: Only Ron would take a holiday about candy so seriously.
Sorry the ending's so short, but the flashback is nice and long to make up for it.
Thanks to all my lovely and super-duper-riffic reviewers! I see much candy and love in your future! Also, please take the time to give me a treat for this magical holiday (eww…I did not just say that….). REVIEW!
-dieselwriter
P.S.: Hey guys, I realize it's Friday and a holiday and all, but please try to stay safe this Halloween. I love you all, and would hate it something bad happened. Make smart decisions, and eat lots of candy (okay, maybe that's not the smartest decision...but it sure is tasty!).
P.P.S.: I do not condemn nor condone acts of vandalism. When you have that toilet paper in your hand, ask yourself...what would the Red Bandits say?
P.P.P.S.: Happy Halloween!
P.P.P.P.S.: Alright, if you must know...I'm going as a pimp for Halloween, and my two guy friends are going as my...girls. Should be...interesting....