Freak of Nature
Do you really think I own Harry Potter? If so, I've got this great deal for you on waterfront property for you in Florida and shares on a bridge in Brooklyn.
AN: Wow, it's been a while since I updated. Work is a bear, but I do enjoy what I do in real life. I simply wish I had more time to read and write than I currently do. Thank you all for being patient with me and my real life diversions. Cheers!
AN2: Due to popular demand, Thoughts will now be in italics to better distinguish them from spoken words. We now return you to your regularly scheduled madness.
[parsel]
/creepy crawly critters/
{Primal Beast Language}
'thought'
Chapter 16: Fear and Loathing in London
"Time after time, history demonstrates that when people don't want to believe something, they have enormous skills of ignoring it altogether."
— Jim Butcher (Dead Beat)
Harry silently followed along behind Dumbledore as they weaved through the hallways from the Great Hall towards Dumbledore's office. As Harry walked behind Dumbledore, the thoughts in his head were of two branches:
Can I please stab him in the back now, literally? Do I really need to keep this bastard alive?
Hmmm, Thanks for the information Hogwarts. That tapestry has a secret passage. That suit of armor is especially good at beheading people, and that statute of a busty witch has something warded and hidden behind it that I would have missed if it wasn't for the combination of my ability to see magic and Hogwarts unwillingness to tell me what is behind it.
Harry followed along, gathering information on his new home yet at the same time fighting off his urges to kill Dumbledore quickly and get it over with.
'No, I stick to the plan. We drive the bugger bat shit crazy, destroy his life and all around him, then we can kill him.' Harry thought, 'It's only fitting since he was primarily responsible for destroying my life and my family's."
Harry's thoughts continued along that path until the Headmaster rounded a corner and approached the gargoyle thatprotected the entrance to the Headmaster's Office.
"Lemon Sherbets" Dumbledore stated, before turning and giving Harry an eye twinkling smile. "If you ever want to talk to me, please feel free to visit."
"Yes sir." Harry said as he forced a smile back onto his face, making it appear that he was happy that the headmaster was entrusting him with the password to his office; not that Harry really needed the password given that he could control Hogwarts at will.
With that, the two wizards proceeded up the stairs to Dumbledore's office.
As they entered the room, Dumbledore proceeded around behind his desk, his back towards Harry, and began to conjure up a pot of tea. As Harry's entered the room his attention was immediately captured by the brightly colored bird; a bird that Harry was sure he had seen before.
It was at this point that Harry subconsciously realized that being one with the Spirit of the Nundu had some unexpected consequences; namely, cat's like birds, especially brightly colored birds.
Quick as a wink, Harry pounced across the room at the phoenix that was peacefully slumbering with its head under its wing; totally oblivious to the quickly approaching Harry Potter.
Snapping his hands out, Harry snatched Fawkes off of his perch by his neck, one hand around the neck and the other sweeping the bird's feet off of the perch.
Startled, Fawkes let out a gurgled "Squawk!" as he found himself securely clutched in Harry's clawed hands. Looking up into Harry's green cat slit eyes; Fawkes realized that he was in deep shite.
Fortunately for Fawkes though, the squawk had called Dumbledore's attention. Two things then happened in relatively quick succession.
Harry's eyes got large at the realization of what he had just done, and Dumbledore started to wax poetically about the nature of phoenixes as he turned to offer Harry some tea.
Harry quickly jumped over the back of the chair that faced the Headmaster's desk, pulling Fawkes with him and plopping Fawkes down on his lap where he made a visible effort of stroking the phoenix with the hand that could be seen above the desk. His other hand had several claws extended into Fawkes downy feathers, hidden under the feathers and making it appear as if the student and bird were merely enjoying each other's company.
"Ah excellent." Dumbledore said with a grandfatherly smile as he witnessed the boy lovingly stroke his familiar while the bird sat in his lap. "He must like you very much Harry to let you stroke him like that. You must be of the light, for Fawkes would only let a wizard of the light pet him like that."
Harry smiled up at Dumbledore, "He is an amazing bird sir, and his coloring simply draws my attention to him." Harry said with a stroke of Fawkes head, looking down at the bird.
Though Harry's smile and words said one thing, Harry's eyes spoke a whole different message.
Fawkes understood loud and clear the unspoken message, 'If you don't play along, you will be lunch.'
"Chirp"
Fawkes gave a half hearted happy chirp in agreement, knowing that even if he tried to flame away, he would be bringing Harry with him; and Harry's claws that were ready to gouge out his stomach.
"See, he likes you!" Dumbledore stated with a smile as he sipped his tea, again mistakenly inferring that Fawkes's presence in Harry's lap was voluntary.
"So my boy, how was your summer? Care for a lemon sherbet?" Dumbledore asked, giving the soft sell by offering candy at the same time.
"My summer was fine sir." Harry stated as he declined the lemon sherbet. Having been raised in the muggle world Harry knew never to take candy from strangers; especially from strangers whose eyes eerily twinkled and wore robes colored by what must have been mushroom popping Californian hippies from Humboldt.
Dumbledore merely stared at Harry, eyes twinkling, expecting for Harry to continue and explain more.
Harry, in turn, merely stared back. Not saying a word and simply continuing to smile at the old man as he pet the man's familiar. 'Let's see how long it takes before he cracks.' Harry thought to himself as he continued to smile politely at the headmaster.
"Slurp." Dumbledore sipped his tea, and stared back at the boy with his twinkling eyes.
"Pet, Pet, Pet, Pet, scratch." Harry simply continued to smile that perfect white toothed smile at the Headmaster, not even blinking as he pet Fawkes and then scratched at the area around the bird's crest.
"Slurp"
" Pet Pet Pet"
"Slurp"
"Pet, Pet, Pet"
"Slurppppppppp…" 'Oh for Merlin's sake.' Dumbledore thought as the silence had finally gotten to him.
"So where were you this summer Harry my boy?" Dumbledore stated, a bit flustered that the boy had outlasted his stare though not showing it outwardly.
"I'm sorry sir, not to be impolite, but I don't see how it is any concern of the headmaster where I am during the summer when I am not at school." Harry said with a smile as he continued to stroke Fawkes with the same measured strokes that he had been doing since he placed the bird on his lap.
"Now now my boy, I heard that you weren't at your family's house so I need to know where you were for your own safety." Dumbledore said with a smile.
"I'm afraid that my past whereabouts have nothing to do with my present or future safety Headmaster, and I have no family." Harry stated with a smile.
A device behind Dumbledore blew up in a whirling of blue flames, the last passive device measuring the protections on the Dursleys' themselves gave up the ghost.
A flustered Dumbledore whipped out his wand. "Aguamenti," he cast, a stream of water with pinpoint accuracy, hitting the flames and extinguishing them quickly.
Since Dumbledore's eyes were focused on the fire and putting them out, he didn't see Harry's eyes go wide open for a second and flash glowing green when Dumbledore pulled out the Elder Wand to cast the water charm. Harry felt a calling, almost a longing, go through him as he felt a pull towards the wand in Dumbledore's hand. Harry's mage sight caught the image of ghostly black and green wisps of magic that seemed to issue out from around the core of the grey wand; as if ghostly tentacles were seeking to connect and grab at Harry. At the same time the invisible ring on Harry's hand, the ring of House Slytherin, seemed to send out probing tentacles of magic of the same color towards the wand in Dumbledore's hand. The distance between them, however, was too far for the tentacles to touch each other.
'Hmmm' Harry thought, 'That wand calls to me in some way. It feels familiar, as if a ghost from long past is calling out my name, yet the message is being carried off by the wind. I must figure out some way to get it!' Harry calculated, his eyes squinting shrewdly at the wand before returning his look to the wide eyed 'honest' stare and smile before Dumbledore turned around to again face Harry.
"Now now my boy, that is no way to talk about your guardians." Dumbledore stated with a frown, attempting to guilt Harry into telling him what he wanted to know.
Harry answered simply, "I have no guardians Professor Dumbledore. I am emancipated from my former aunt and uncle's 'loving' care."
This shocked Dumbledore, whose eyes flinched for a second before resuming their twinkle. "Hmmm, I was unaware of that. However, you have a magical guardian Harry." Dumbledore stated with a smile.
"Hmmm, I didn't know that Headmaster, who used to be my magical guardian?" Harry asked politely with a smile, realizing the Headmaster was about to stumble his way into a verbal trap.
"Why I am your magical guardian Mr. Potter." Dumbledore stated with a smile, only for Harry's previous words to catch up with him in his thoughts. "Wait, what do you mean by 'who used to be your magical guardian? ' I am still your magical guardian Harry." Dumbledore questioned, startled and a bit ruffled at Harry's question and phrasing.
"I'm sorry sir, but you are incorrect, I am my own legal guardian as I was emancipated in the magical world as well." Harry said with a smile, now his eyes were twinkling at Dumbledore. 'Mental note,' Harry thought, 'Remind me to thank Scorpius for the memory of that wordless,s wandless eye twinkling charm if I ever call up his spirit for a chat.'
Dumbledore collapsed back against the back of his chair, stunned.
"How long have you been emancipated Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore questioned anxiously.
"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think that control of my person is any of your concern anymore." Harry stated with a smile that started to resemble a smirk, "Besides, you are obviously a busy man, what with you being unable to ever visit me after you left me at the Dursleys on that cold November morning." Harry stated with a dig as he set Fawkes down on the desk and prepared to leave.
Dumbledore was shocked! 'Shite! He knows!' Dumbledore thought, 'Now I just have to figure out how long he has been emancipated so that I can see what it will take for me to get it overturned! I need to get him back under my control.' Dumbledore postulated, sitting forward in his seat.
"Harry my boy." Dumbledore smiled as he continued to try to get information from Harry, "I placed you there for the Greater Good. Everything I have done for you as your guardian is for the Greater Good." He continued to try and explain. Dumbledore knew he couldn't just Legilimens the boy. It was important to his plans that Harry trusted him implicitly and he couldn't give Harry an inkling of his true plan. Dumbledore wasn't willing to try and probe the boy's mind until after Severus had been able to check the boy's mind out in one of the potions classes. It wouldn't do for the boy to be a natural Occlumens and figure out that Dumbledore was trying to probe his mind.
Harry stood up and moved towards the door, a serious and strangely mature look coming to the boy's face.
"Ah yes, The 'Greater Good,' Harry said. "I've heard and seen examples of where YOUR 'Greater Good' leads Professor Dumbledore."
Dumbledore was stunned speechless, 'How in Merlin's name had Harry Potter learned about the wizarding world and Albus Dumbledore when he was living with those damn muggle Dursleys? They were supposed to keep Harry naïve and pliable!' Dumbledore thought for a second before Harry's spoke again.
"Albus Dumbledore, your 'Greater Good' would be what you think is best for one very small population of wizards who reside in one very small part of the whole world…" Harry continued, "Where as my "Greater Good" is for the whole world."
With that, Harry turned and left Dumbledore's office; leaving behind a very befuddled old man and a very unnerved phoenix.
As the door to the Headmaster's office shut behind Harry, the Headmaster tried to figure out how so many of his expectations and plans could be called into question so quickly and so early in Mr. Potter's school career.
Dumbledore was worried, and he furiously thought through ideas on how to go about gaining control over Harry Potter again.
'I'll just have to contact the Ministry of Magic first thing in the morning and get the emancipation overthrown.' Dumbledore thought as he sat back in his chair.
Convinced that he had a solution, Dumbledore kicked his skinny old legs up on his desk, his robes hiking up to his hips, showing Fawkes and all of the cringing portraits that he 'wore' his robes like a Scotsman wore his kilt; when in Scotland, do as the Scots do after all.
"Yes, that is exactly what I will do tomorrow, first thing." Dumbledore said quietly as he reached out to try and pet Fawkes.
Fawkes merely snapped at Dumbledore's hand at the man's attempt to pet him where Harry just had been doing so, snapping for two reasons really. One, Dumbledore had been an idiot to not see that Fawkes didn't want to be on Harry's lap. Second, Harry's petting the same spot for the entire conversation had left Fawkes's feathers and skin irritated from the repetitive petting. If this kept up, Fawkes would have a molting problem in no time at all.
Dumbledore scratched himself and gave himself a congratulatory lemon sherbet on thinking up his latest greatest plan for taking control of Harry Potter. Little did Dumbledore know, but his morning dealings with the Ministry of Magic wouldn't be as easy as he thought they would be.
As Harry left the Headmaster's office he tried to figure out what he should do, since he wasn't really tired enough to go to bed yet.
Triggering his chameleon ability, Harry began to blend in with the background of the halls around him. Closing his eyes for a second, he communed with Hogwarts, questioning where the Ravenclaw dorms were located at.
Hogwarts supplied the answer, even letting him know of back routes and hidden passages that would allow him to bypass the main door to the Ravenclaw tower as well as telling Harry that he had the ability to get through the main door to the dorms without answering a silly riddle or knowing a password, noble rank hath its privileges after all.
That settled, Harry figured he would explore the grounds outside the school 'Maybe it's time to get a bit of fresh air?' Harry thought as he glanced down at his wrist, his watch phasing back into visibility so that he could tell what time it was.
'It looks like I still have a few hours before I'm expected back at Grimmauld.' Harry thought as his watch told him it was only going on 9:30 in the evening.
Sprinting off through the halls, Harry came to a large window that opened out over the Herbology greenhouses and faced the Forbidden Forest.
"Tally Ho!" Harry shouted with glee as he swan dived out the now open window and towards the ground that was invisible in the darkened depths below. Hogwarts was nice enough to close the window behind him, effectively hiding Harry's escape route from the school.
"Meow, Meow, Meow… Meow, Meow…Meow." The grey and black tabby cat mewled as it sat in Professor Sprout's private herbology greenhouse and pawed at the catnip plants and their little flowering buds.
The cat spoke, "Meow Meow, Meow….. Meow…. Meow!" The cat stated as it batted the plant back and forth, stopping for a second to rub its face on the plant on one side of its body, and then the other. Pushing against it, the stoned cat ended up losing its balance and rolled onto its back and crushed the plant underneath it as it rolled and playfully pawed at the catnip plants around it.
This cat loved catnip, and what was would be could be clearly recognized by any human that would have been watching the playful animal and hearing its meowing was that it was very happy, and also probably very stoned out of its mind.
However, if you spoke the primal language, you would actually understand just how stoned the tabby cat really was.
[Catnip Catnip Catnip, ooooooh I love you catnip! Better than rat tails, fresh mice, or licking myself! Like little butterflies in my brain that explain the cosmos of transfiguration, Oh how I love you catnip! MMMMMMM, now I have the munchies!]
"Chomp!" The cat took a bite of the catnip, used its head to pull the buds off of the plant, and started to chew. This was the tabby's last chance to try to fully get its catnip fix before it had to spend the rest of the year sober, taking care of children, and disciplining the Weasley Twins.
The cat sat up, and continued to bat at the catnip, the lights of the greenhouse shining from above threw shadows around the room as the cat moved in and around and played with the plants in front of it.
"Meow Meow Meow…. Meow!"
Suddenly, a large shadow seemed to fall over the cat, who continued to bat at the catnip without really noticing the change in the lighting.
"Meow meow, meow… Meow…. Rrrrrrr? Meow?" The cat batted once, twice, and then slowed as it suddenly realized that there was a dark shadow that seemed to overshadow only the cat and the catnip around it.
Slowly looking straight up to see what was blocking the light and stopping its fun time, the little tabby came face to face with the largest feline face that it had ever seen in its life.
[BOO!] Nundu Harry stated as it looked down at what his nose told him was the animagus form of Professor McGonagall. Any human who would have heard Harry's 'BOO' would have heard the sound of a deep, deep growl.
"[EEEEP!] McGonagall mewled.
Her feline hair stuck straight out and her tail stuck straight up into the air for a second and then her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. McGonagall's legs stuck straight out in fright as she was petrified with fear, she fainted, and tilted to the side with her leg's straight and ridged, falling like a chopped down tree as she passed out.
"Thud!" McGonagall fell off of the table that the catnip was on and hit the dirt floor of the greenhouse. The tabby cat looked like it had gone prematurely white and had lost at least one of its nine lives.
[He he he he he, Always good to start off the school year with some fun.] Harry said out loud as he smiled with a mouth full of very sharp long teeth.
"Meow Meow Meow" Harry laughingly mimicked McGonagall mockingly, as he rubbed his face in the catnip for a second before turning back into his human form.
Turning around in a circle to look at the greenhouse around him, he was amazed at the multitude of different plants and fungi that were around him.
Ten meter tall cannabis plants with buds the size of grapes were planted next to rows of peyote plants. In a dark corner, lit by a bluebell flame and misted by some sort of ever full watering can, grew likens and mosses that glowed red, blue and purple. Next to them were clumps of mushrooms and a few other plants that Harry had no idea about. Turning back towards the catnip, Harry saw bison grass, witch hazel, wolf bane, and more varieties of poppies than he had ever seen in one place at the same time. The tropical trees overhead even had multicolored tree frogs in them that Harry knew for sure had to be poisonous, or at least hallucinogenic, if licked or eaten.
Harry smiled to himself as he walked through the aisles, making sure not to touch any of the plants as he knew they were either hallucinogenic or intoxicating based on the knowledge that he had received from witch doctor; well, that and his elementary school's 'say no to drugs' classes.
Harry was humming a little tune to himself about Strawberry Fields when he heard a slight 'pop' behind him.
"Um, are you Harry Potter sir?" A small voice said to Harry as he turned around to look at who or what had arrived in the greenhouse.
Looking down, Harry spotted a short little house elf with gray skin, floppy ears, and big beady eyes looking up at him and wringing its little hands at the hem of its dirty pillow case outfit.
Harry smiled at the house elf, and crouched down so that he was able to look at the elf at a better level.
"Yes, yes I am Harry Potter, and who are you may I ask?" Harry asked with a smile.
"I is Dobby Master Harry Potter Sir. I used to be a Malfoy House Elf but now I am a Black House Elf and am yours House Elf Master Harry Potter Sir since yous be the Lord of House Black." Dobby said as he averted his eyes from Harry's smiling face.
"Look at me Dobby." Harry said kindly.
Dobby looked up at Harry slowly.
"Dobby, do you want to be my house elf, or do you want to be free?" Harry asked.
Eyes growing even larger, almost to the point where they looked like they were going to pop out of his head, Dobby shook his head up and down quickly, "Yes I wants to be yours House Elf Master Harry Potter." Then Dobby shook his head very quickly, "No I don'ts wants to be free Master Harry Potter."
Harry smiled and put his hand out on top of Dobby's head to stop him from possibly shaking it loose.
"Ok Dobby, Ok. You can be my House elf, but I want you to be my… hmmm, friend. Yes, be my friend also. I could use a friend in my plans." Harry said with a smile. "No calling me Master either, ok? Please call me Friend if you have to use a title for me." Harry finished.
Dobby's eyes started to trickle with tears, and then he launched himself to hug Harry's neck; soggy elf tears trickling down Harry's neck.
Harry awkwardly patted Dobby on the back, as he still wasn't comfortable with hugs and expressions of emotions.
"Thank you Thank you Thank you, Great Friend Harry Potter. Never has I's been called a friend by a wizard before, and especially by a greatestest wizard in the world like Friend Harry Potter Sir." Dobby sobbed.
"Ok Dobby, ok." Harry said as he pulled the still crying elf from him and held Dobby out at arm's length. "Now stop crying, and we can talk about what you can do to help me."
Dobby's tears dried up instantly, like turning off a water spigot as he nodded his head at Harry again, very quickly. "Yes Friend Harry Potter Sir, right away Friend Harry Potter Sir."
Harry sighed; apparently dealing with Dobby was going to be good for learning patience. Rolling his eyes, Harry smiled down at Dobby as he stood up.
"Alright then, I'd like you to help keep my stuff clean and help me with some information gathering. If you could protect my things when I'm not in my dorm room that would be great also, though I do plan on warding my bed and my trunk just to be safe." Harry stated.
"Yes Friend Harry Potter sir, right away!" Dobby said as he bounced up and down. Just as he was about to snap his fingers and disappear, Harry interrupted him.
"Wait! I'm not done yet. While you are here at Hogwarts, make sure you let me know of any rumors or important information circulating around between the elves. I also may have some, um, outside 'operations' for you to help me with." Harry said with a smile as he looked around the room.
"But first," Harry continued as a gleam came to his eyes and his smile grew a bit scary, "Package up everything in this place and bring it to the warehouse that is halfway down the block on Knockturn Alley. It has a sign over the door called "Bound and Delivered in Black" over the door, and the wards will recognize you. Make sure you don't let any of the plants touch your skin, and take the growing equipment, planters, lights and other stuff with you." Harry said as he waved his arm to point out the various areas of the greenhouse. "Just put it in a stasis area for now and I will deal with this later. Thanks Dobby." Harry completed his orders.
Tears threatened to show in Dobby's eyes again, but quickly shut off when Dobby remembered Harry's orders not to cry.
"Yes Sir Friend Harry Potter Sir, Right away Friend Harry Potter Sir." Dobby said, and then with a snap, Dobby disappeared along with a planter of cannabis next to him. This was followed by rapid fire pops as Dobby got to work disappearing the greenhouse's contents.
Harry smiled and nodded, turned, and walked out of the green house and into the darkness, leaving a hyperactive elf to his activities and an unconscious and stoned tabby cat to her inactivity.
Harry silently apparated into Grimmauld place to witness the pleasant sounds of a screaming Peter Pettigrew and an evilly cackling dogfather.
Smiling a Cheshire smile that spanned from one ear to the other, Harry's eyes glowed bright green as he walked through the house towards the 'play room' where it sounded like Sirius was having a good time.
"Having some fun Sirius?" Harry said with a smile as he walked into the room; he had to speak up to make sure his question was heard over the sound of Peter's crying and muffled wailing.
"Absolutely Harry! Voice one came up with this great idea of pulling out his finger nails one by one while voice three, that's the one who sounds like a little girl, got tired of his begging for mercy so had us use the underwear we stole from Snivellus back in 76 to shove in his mouth! I haven't had this much fun since that time when I convinced the Patil twins into a naked twister game that ended up in an baby oil bath and karma sutra reading time!" Sirius said, madness clearly shining through his eyes.
Harry merely smiled and nodded at the crazy man while slowly taking a step away from Sirius and towards Peter. 'Everybody has their own individual quirks.' Harry thought to himself, still smiling at his Godfather.
"Well at least you're having fun, but question, the Patil twins are in my class, they weren't even born in 76?" Harry questioned with an upraised eyebrow.
"That was their mother and her sister." Sirius explained with a smile.
Harry nodded in understanding, "Hmmm, that actually sounds quiet fun for some strange reason; I guess puberty is hitting me early." He stated with a shrug, "I'll have to look into that with this generation of Patils when I get really interested in girls." Harry stated with a smile.
Harry turned towards Peter with a smile, the man was chained to the ceiling and only wearing a ripped up pair of pants that didn't reach his knees anymore; burn marks and cuts adorned Peter's face, arms, and bulbous stomach.
"And how is our unplanned guest doing on this fine evening?" Harry questioned with an evil smirk.
In response, Sirius gave a glare at Peter and yelled, "Crucio!" Hitting Peter with the pain curse and causing the man to convulse and scream so much that he was actually able to spit out the soiled underwear that had been stuffed into his mouth.
"Please Harry, you have to understand, I didn't want to do it! Have mercy on me, what would your father James think…" Peter pleaded
"RIIIPPP!"
Harry's clawed right hand shot up and tore through Peter's face, popping the dangling man's eyeball and causing blood and fluid to run down the ugly rat animagus's face.
"Quiet rodent! Never speak to me again if you value your tongue!" Harry stated with fury, seething with anger.
Pulling out his wand, Harry cast a dark curse that first caused Peter's tongue to stretch out of the man's mouth, only to tie itself in a knot and get snapped back into his mouth like a taunt rubber band. Peter screamed and his eyes went crossed from the pain.
"There, that's better." Harry said with a smirk and a nod. He turned towards Sirius, "Sorry about messing up your toy Sirius, please make sure that any damage that is done to the rat is clean up and at least cosmetically healed, I have plans for him in regards to toppling the government."
"No problem Harry," Sirius said as he examined the wounds on Peter's face. "Hmm, seems to be bleeding out a bit too fast, here, let me stop that." With that said, Sirius cast the spell that would allow an individual to write letter's of fire in the air, only he used his wand to trace the bleeding claw marks to cauterize Peter's bloody face.
"AGGGGGGGHHHHBPPPPHHHH!" Peter screamed; he was unable to form words with his knotted tongue.
"Ok, carry on then Sirius. Just remember to take care of yourself and get some food. I need you here for me." Harry said with a fond smile as he put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius in turn put his hand on top of Harry's hand, and then the two parted; both still not comfortable with physical examples of affection between loved ones.
Harry stepped back and broke the awkward silence by kicking Peter in the crotch.
"Ok, off to deal with the other visitor." Harry stated with a smile as he spoke over the sound of Peter's crying and whimpering.
Sirius pulled back his foot and gave Peter a boot to the bits also. "Ok Harry, you know where I am if you need me." Sirius said with a smile.
With that, Harry walked out the door, allowing it to close as Sirius started discussing the tortuous merits of thumbscrews verses enraged squirrels in burlap sacks to Peter.
"Good evening Walburga. How are you tonight?" Harry asked as he passed the painting of Sirius's mother.
"I am well Lord Black," Walburga stated with a curtsy, "It is good to hear the sound of screaming echoing through the house again my lord." The crazed old painting stated with a smile.
Harry merely nodded a partial head bow and then proceeded down the stairs towards the basement.
Darkness and the artificial light of green flames greeted Harry as he entered the dungeon levels of the Most Ancient House of Black's mansion. All around Harry, on the walls, ceilings, and along the floors at his feet skittered his brothers and sisters of the small crawling and flying variety.
/Greetings my family, how has our guest been doing tonight?/ Harry smirkingly questioned in the language of the creepy crawlies, magic translating his message to his crawling brethren.
Chitters, cracks, scrapes and chirps sounded from all around him in the darkness, as flying creatures perched on his hair and shoulders or rested while clinging to his clothing.
/Ah, excellent./ Harry stated, stroking his finger down the chitinous shell of a large cockroach, and then using the finger to pat a doxy on the head. The doxy gave a little sharp fanged smile in return.
/Well, it would be rude to leave her waiting any longer. Let us ease her wait./ Harry stated evilly as he pushed through the door into Narcissa's cell.
"Bang!"
The door to the cell smashed into the wall as it moved on its hinges with the force of Harry's push.
Narcissa woke up, startled at the noise and awakened to the sounds of footsteps in the dark outside of her line of vision. She tried to cry out, but again, she was paralyzed from saying anything.
"Ah Narcissa, our dearest Narcissa," Harry's voice echoed around the room. "You are here because you are mine!" Harry stated. His statement punctuated by the magic of the room flinging Narcissa off the floor and her kneeling position and forcing her spread eagle against the back wall.
The pain of suddenly moving after hours of forced paralysis, coupled with the fear that hit her, made Narcissa lose control of her bladder; a dark stain formed down the front of her dress.
"Oh, none of that now." Harry's voice said from the darkness, "Just because your husband is a problem and your son a waste of genetic material doesn't mean I want you in pain." He stated, a blue spell zipping out of the darkness to hit Narcissa and immediately clean away the soiling of her garments.
Narcissa couldn't see where the voice was coming from, nor could she speak her thoughts or her pleas.
"You don't need to talk at the moment, the only thing you need to know, the only thing you need to believe with all your heart and soul, is that you belong to me, and the House of Black, once again." The voice said menacingly, seeming to come from both in front of her as well as from the right and the left all at the same time. "Your marriage is dissolved due to breach of contract by that worthless former husband of yours and his boot licking of the half-blood Tom Riddle, aka Voldemort. You will rejoin and serve the House of Black or perish here and now. Do you understand?"
Narcissa found herself nodding vigorously; apparently the paralysis on her neck had been silently released.
"You were once a dutiful daughter of the House of Black and you will be one once again, or I will not suffer you to live." The voice said as Narcissa saw only the bottom of black pants, robe and boots step into the light; the body and face of the voice still lost in the darkness.
She suddenly had her voice.
"Ye..he, Yss…" She tried to speak but had to clear her throat and lick her lips in order to give her mouth enough moisture to speak, "Yes my Lord! Absolutely my Lord! Only…" Narcissa stated emphatically, hesitating at the last to state her question.
"Only what Narcissa Black?" The voice menaced.
"Only, who are you and will you be able to protect me from my former husband?" she hesitantly questioned.
"Who am I?" The voice asked with a hint of humor, "Well we have met before my dear daughter of the house." The voice stated.
With that, Harry fully stepped into the middle of the cell and the torches on the wall flared up to show the sight before her.
"I'm Harry Potter." Harry stated with a little bow, his smirk clearly shown as well as the spiders, insects and pests scurrying in the door and climbing in trains over the walls and floors; adding to the creepiness of the flickering torchlight and the glowing eyed visage of Harry face.
Narcissa's eyes went wide, she recognized this young man, the one she had checked out at the clothing store. She was speechless.
"What?" Harry questioned, his teeth elongating into fangs and his eyes turning into slit feline pupils, "Cat got your tongue?" Harry smirked.
Narcissa was stunned, she had never expected this. She had heard stories of Harry's defeat of the Dark Lord as well as seen the many amazing stories of Harry's purported adventures. However nothing had prepared her for the dark and malevolent power that seemed to be exuding from Harry Potter's being; it was natural and visceral, totally wild and untamed.
Covering the ten feet between them in a blink of an eye, Harry grabbed Narcissa's face and forced her to look into his eyes.
"Do you believe me powerful enough now?" Harry questioned, his face becoming human again.
"Yes," she mumbled.
"Can I trust you to keep my secrets and follow my directions?" Harry asked, tracing a clawed finger down her cheek, scratching but not cutting or breaking her skin.
"Y-y-yes." Narcissa stuttered.
"We'll see about that." Harry stated, as he forced her to look fully at him. In an instant, he was in her mind.
Harry saw her pain, her sham of a marriage, her disappointment of a son, her tortured childhood being forced to serve the darkness, and he knew her upbringing as well as her current abilities, thoughts, and beliefs. Harry knew Narcissa's soul.
Stepping back from Narcissa, Harry looked down for a second, before looking back up at her; his Legilimency had been totally unfelt by Narcissa, and finished in blink of a moment.
"I trust you, for now." He stated, he then made a chirp sound, and the creepy crawlies flooded out of the room. "Let's get you upstairs." Harry finished, reaching for the pain racked and stiff form of Narcissa as the flying creatures resting on his robes took flight and left the cell.
Harry pulled her down from the wall and then slung her in a bridal carry. He walked with her in his arms out of the dungeons and up into the main part of the house.
Harry carried Narcissa up the stairs, through the entry hall, and into the living room where he laid her down on a couch.
As he laid her down, he made sure to pull her wand out of her hair, releasing her hair and effectively disarming her at the same time.
"Now then," Harry explained, "I am the Lord of House Black, so I have some control over you and your ability to hurt me. However, I want an unbreakable vow that you will serve my best interests and obey me in all things. I am going to give you back your wand, but if you even think about doing anything with it before swearing the vow, it will be the last thing you ever do. Are we clear?" Harry stated with a stone cold gaze.
Narcissa was shocked that a youth so young could be so commanding, cruel and cold.
"I, I thought that you said that you trusted me?" Narcissa asked, her eyes wide and a bit frightened.
Harry stood up, looking down at Narcissa as she reclined on the couch.
"I do. If I didn't, you would be dead already." Harry stated, "However, let's just say that I have a severe distrust for adults, based on the majority of my experiences in life, and have developed a deadly allergic reaction to betrayal; well, deadly for those who think to hurt me or betray me." Harry stated with a cold smirk, his eyes glowing killing curse green.
Narcissa gulped and she felt a bit of cold sweat gather on the back of her neck.
"Alright my lord, I will swear you the vow." Narcissa stated as she hesitantly reached out for her wand that Harry held in his hand.
Narcissa closed her hands on the wand to take it, but Harry didn't release it, merely looking down at her with an intense look, before nodding, releasing the wand, and taking a step back.
"I, Narcissa Black, do hereby vow to obey and work for the betterment of Lord Harry Potter Black in all things. On my life and my magic I do swear." Narcissa solemnly stated.
"So mote it be." Harry stated, and a flash of light issued from the ring hidden on Harry's hand and from Narcissa's wand, both at the same time.
And just like that, Harry's mood changed and you could see the caution and ready violence leave his figure.
"Dobby!" Harry shouted.
Dobby appeared with a Pop.
"Yes Friend Harry Potter Sir, you's be calling Dobby?" Dobby questioned before seeing Narcissa in the room and cringing away from his former mistress.
"Stop Dobby." Harry stated as he laid his hand on the cowering house elf. "Narcissa will not hurt you, nor will she command you to do anything. Is that clear?" The last statement was pointedly made to Narcissa, and she could see the promise of pain in Harry's eyes if she failed to agree.
"Absolutely my Lord." Narcissa said hurriedly.
"There, you see, no one will give you a problem here Dobby." Harry said with a kind smile as he patted the house elf on the head.
Dobby in turn beamed a huge beady eyed smile back up at Harry.
"Thank you Friend Harry Potter Sir. What can's Dobby be doings for you Friend Harry Potter Sir?" Dobby asked.
"No, thank you Dobby. Please nip over to Hogwarts and steal a pain relieving potion from the hospital wing and return it here to Narcissa." Harry stated.
"Right aways Friend Harry Potter Sir!" Dobby shouted with glee before snapping his fingers and disappearing, only to reappear a second later with a potion that he handed to Narcissa with a smile before disappearing with another pop.
Narcissa accepted the potion with a quiet 'thank you' before draining it and cringing at the horrible flavor.
"Now then," Harry stated as he flicked his wand, conjuring a comfy recliner chair to appear behind him as he casually sat down without really looking to see if it had appeared.
The casual use of trained magic by one so young caught Narcissa off guard; so much so that she missed what Harry had been saying to her.
"I'm sorry; could you repeat that last question?" Narcissa asked as she assumed a sitting position on the couch, feeling the relief of the pain relieving potion easing her aches and pains from her restrictions in the dungeons.
"I asked what you know about international business, particularly of the husbanding of animals and plants." Harry stated as he leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of his face as he rested his elbows on the arms of the recliner; his gaze firmly focused on Narcissa.
"I know of my husband's business interests overseas as well as the financial knowledge that it takes to manage the books, as would any child raised in the House of Black." Narcissa stated, curious as to where the course of the conversation would lead.
"Excellent." Harry stated, ending in almost a hiss and with a smirk that grew into a smile spanning from one ear to the other. His truly smile unnerved her as he continued.
"Well then, let's start with Africa." Harry stated with a smirk.
From the back of the house the sounds of a man screaming were once again heard as the silencing spell must have worn off. It would be a long and very full night of 'discussions' for the residents of the House of Black. Discussions that would see additional plans begin to form and come to fruition before Harry returned to his bed at Hogwarts slightly before the rising of the morning sun.
Dumbledore had a problem reaching the Ministry of Magic via floo the next day. In fact, everybody had problems using the floo about two hours after the Ministry of Magic was slated to open for business in the morning. A multitude of wizards and witches flooded into the Ministry bright and early and right on time for work; right into the territory of a large pack of singing Fwoopers that had spread throughout the building.
Soon after entering the building, the records keepers from the Hall of Records decided to call it a snow day and unloaded every ministry file in their care into an ever growing hill of paper, which they then used as a sledding hill while shooting brightly colored paint spells at each other as if they were jousting. Minister Fudge entered the building and was shortly found to be soaping himself up in the great fountain, using a certain body part of the male centaur to hang his towel. Though the other office workers were going insane, their memory was not hindered in any way, thus the comparison between the centaur's towel holding 'appendage' and its comparison to Fudge's 'lack of funding in his manly bits department' would in the future find its way into the comments of the Daily Prophet.
People were running around like crazy, for they were in fact crazy due to the song of the Fwooper. The chaos got worse and worse as more and more employees and visitors to the Ministry appeared in the floo of the main hall. The tide of incoming seemed to be peaking, when the sanity of the wizarding community at large was partially saved by Madam Edgecombe puking into the main floo control system of the Department of Magical Transportation; apparently spinning around in circles for thirty minutes in imitation of how the floo transports a person is not a good idea. Her puke, though not having any magical qualities in itself, did hold a certain quality of antidote to Veritaserum and anti-Amortentia potion; as she could never be too careful that her family wouldn't dose her with the same potions that she so loved to use on her own husband and was teaching her daughter to make. This potent mix of pre-masticated food and potions just happened to be the right mix needed to short out the whole floo system for magical Britain, effectively shutting down the influx of personnel to the Ministry of Magic and causing those witches and wizards in transit to be ejected from their closest floo exit.
In short, the Ministry of Magic was in shambles and getting worse by the minute. Thus it was that Dumbledore made a large mistake in using of Fawkes to bypass the broken floo network and appear in the entry hall of the Ministry. By the time Dumbledore had a moment to look around at the chaos around him and realize that Fawkes had already flamed back to Hogwarts, it was already too late. In a matter of a few minutes, Dumbledore found himself doing the tango with Griselda Marchbanks, both of them wearing matching strapless red dresses with a slit up the side and very tall blood red stiletto heels. The dance routine wouldn't have been so bad if the two of them could have decided on who was supposed to be lead and the 'male' of the dancing duo.
It didn't really matter that Dumbledore was busy dancing at the time, for even if he wanted to access the files of Harry's emancipation, they were currently a bit 'hard' to access. It seemed that several of the records employees had gotten tired of just sledding down paper and had decided to soak down the papers and freeze them into a solid spiraling luge track that went out a window and down to the atrium of the entry hall. Unfortunately for several of the records employees, what with their being magical and not muggles, they hadn't thought to use such safety devices like helmets or even sleds, so there was a bit of blood mixed in with the ice and frozen paper.
Yes, the Ministry of Magic was a mess. However the British Muggle government wasn't in a whole lot of a better position. It wasn't known, outside of Number 10 Downing Street, how bad the situation really was until Prime Minister John Major made a call to the Queen requesting that she, and Lady Margaret Thatcher, come over for a naked twister game and to make sure that they brought lots of baby oil.
Through all of this madness throughout the Isles of the United Kingdom, Harry Potter merely ate his breakfast in the Great Hall of Hogwarts and prepared for his first day of school at Hogwarts.
Having had a good nights sleep of two hours, Harry smiled as he looked out at the sun streaming in through the windows and the enchanted ceiling.
'Yes' Harry thought to himself with a smile as he noted that Dumbledore, Sprout and McGonagall were missing from the head table. 'It looks like I'm going to like it here at Hogwarts.'
With that, he thanked a distracted and slightly flustered Professor Flitwick for giving him his schedule, gathered up his books and proceeded to his first class ever at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
AN: Another chapter done. I'm sorry that it has taken so long, but on top of working long hours I am again flying around the US for business. The blessing of flying, however, is that it gives me time to write. The bad thing about flying is that just when I'm getting really into the flow of writing the pilot informs us that we are landing and I have to turn my laptop off. Oh well, damned if you do, damned if you don't. The next chapters will see the pace picking up as I don't want to get bogged down on a day to day story, especially when this story looks like it is going to go through several years of Hogwarts schooling and side adventures. Anyway, Cheers and thanks to all those who kept writing to encourage me to post again.