Everything was dark and hot. Eren couldn't feel his arms or legs. Everything was numb. What was happening? Did he do it? Did he fix the wall? He didn't even know how to harden his Titan form and morph it into the wall. They hadn't even been able to test that before launching the mission. Agh, worrying hurt. Thinking hurt. He let the thoughts go. Sparks lit up his mind and brought his eyes open in an exhausted state. What? He was still in the Titan? He could see stretches of red muscle around him, latching around his body, holding him in place.
x
Outside, the soldiers were shouting at him. Eren's large, steaming Titan body stood in the wall's hole with hands placed on each side. Levi clenched his fists around the rough handles of his swords, which were already slick with his sweat. Shit, can he not do it? In the background, groans and stomping sounded. He turned to see that more Titans were leaving the wall of concentrated soldiers and coming towards them. Tch. He couldn't let them come closer. Captain Erwin stood a few feet away from him.
"Erwin," Levi called and Erwin turned. "I'm going to take care of the ones who are breaking away."
Erwin gave him the nod okay and indicated another soldier to assist him. Levi didn't need assistance. He needed Eren to do his job. "Two on the left…" One Titan was a 5m and the second was a 3m. Easy.
"What are you grinning for, you two?" Levi shot his grapple hooks into the walls and twisted his body, hands holding on firmly to his blades so they wouldn't come out of his hands when cutting the Titans down. Levi took the two Titans down without wasting a breath.
Until now, he thought he'd been killing monsters to save humans. What did it mean when some of them had been humans in the past life? He didn't have time to worry about ethics now. "You can't do this to us, Jaeger," Levi whispered under his breath. We put too much on him. He is the biggest waste this country has ever had.
x
Mikasa, Armin, and Hanji were all yelling orders and encouragements to try and get Eren to gain control, to gain consciousness. He could hear them faintly, only half recognizing their voices. They were like echoes from a past memory playing out softly in his black mind. What were they saying? Mend the wall? Yeah he already knew that but how?
He couldn't just will himself to become a wall. He thought about how Annie had hardened parts of her body by will. The wall around him was meters thick and made of an assortment of rock and clay. He tried imitating it, to change his body into those materials, molecule by molecule. Fix Wall Maria, damn it! What good is this body for if I can't even do this? I can do it. I have to! I will defeat the fucking Titans by becoming a monster, sacrificing everything! Even if I don't get to live and see the world! Eren's determination and anger jetted through every pumping vein and a roar burst from his lungs.
x
Levi watched as more steam seethed from Eren's hardening skin. It got to be so thick that he couldn't see what was happening inside. This was bad. What if Eren got stuck in the wall too? Humanity's greatest sacrifice? Bull shit. Everything doesn't have to be a sacrifice. Why couldn't they just have one win, one win with no sacrifices?
He guessed that at least fifty soldiers at the other end of the wall keeping the Titans at bay had died. Every breath lost, every child crying with the loss of a parent, every friend falling at arms…This is what it came to: a filthy world that was always against you. Humanity had rejoiced when Eren had been able to re-block the wall months ago by carrying a boulder but who knew how many lives had been laid bare to succeed?
"Don't screw up, Titan brat."
Erwin had moved from his spot on the roof towards the steam, which was gradually floating away in the afternoon breeze. Levi thought he could see spots of Eren's Titan but he wasn't sure if it was a trick of the eye. Was Erwin going to cut Eren out, and why so early? Had everything failed already?
x
Eren was still as stone. He sat in a world of his own, frozen in time and space. He didn't dare move the Titan's body at all. Suddenly, a hand reached in and grasped him by the collar and heaved him out of the still hot world and into the freezing light.
He didn't have any time to get his bearings before the figure holding him swung them away from his Titan body. Solid rock had climbed up the 15m body until finally enclosing its head within the new wall. Eren released a heavy breath. He'd done it. He'd really been able to do it with sheer will.
But he was far too tired and lightheaded to think about anything more. The cheers around him were so loud and it rang in his ears. Was Corporal Levi's voice one of the ones praising him? He hoped so. He was sure he'd proven himself to his superior. This would show him. Corporal had no more room to doubt Eren, no room to kick him down, or insult him on the basis of weakness. Yeah, that sounded nice. It made his stomach flutter to imagine the stubborn Corporal salute him with admiration and maybe even friendship. Was that what Eren wanted from Levi? Whatever, he didn't know for sure.
As he and Erwin swung through the air, the crisp wind ruffled Eren's matted brown hair, cooling his scalp. So refreshing. He was flying and didn't care to land. Falling. Falling. The steam and heat was whisked away, leaving his heart light and empty. Because of him, humanity had its second win against the tyranny of Titans.
[Three days later...]
Levi approached the Eren's door in the hideout cabin, brushing past Mikasa and Armin as they left. The girl gave him a nasty glare and he didn't care enough to glare back. What was she so mad about? Was she still carrying a grudge because he beat up her precious boyfriend?
Inside, Eren was still laying asleep on the bed. Mikasa had traded rooms with him so he would have a softer bed. The brat was completely knocked out. Levi took a seat on the chair beside the bed, watching Eren's chest under the covers lightly go up and down. Stable breathing was a good sign. Levi's eyes wandered up to Eren's head. The boy had long black lashes curving away from his closed eyelids. His brown hair was pushed back by a cool wet cloth. This brat was really something. Levi had never met anyone like him. No one had that kind of passion, anger, or guts…well, besides Levi. It was creepy to see a copy of himself there, lying unconscious on a bed.
The corporal reached over to check the cloth. It was getting dry. He'd have to go and soak it in cold water again but not now. "You did a good job, brat," he rested his chin on his knuckles. No matter how much he might dislike Jaeger, he had to give credit where credit was due. "We lost nearly 100 men during the fiasco. Even more are injured. That was three days ago and you're still out." Levi didn't know why he was even talking to Eren if he wasn't awake to listen but he found himself rambling on. "If you don't ever wake up…I want to say that you've proven yourself as worth something to humanity and to me. Everyone's probably drinking up in your name."
x
Eren could hardly remember what had happened. He thought he had been able to fix the wall but maybe that was just his hope playing tricks on him. How many times had this scene repeated itself in his head? Time had gone amiss. Where was he now? His skin felt the warmth of the day light grazing it. And a new voice hummed in his ears, quiet but caring. It wasn't his father…No he knew this person. What was that about a brat? Corporal?
Oh it's just Corporal. I'm so glad everyone's still alive. Did you see me? Did you see if I failed or succeeded because I just can't seem to remember. Your voice sounds so different, like it's swelling but full of sadness. Don't feel sad. The people who've died…I know I said I wouldn't let it happen again. I don't know what to do any more. I need to be stronger. Corporal, you're strong. Can't I be like you? Please, lend yourself and your powers over to me already. I just want you. The other soldiers don't understand how much they need you or how much I need you.
In his mind's eye, Levi was sitting beside him, the cloud over his grey eyes cleared away. The sunlight was reaching through some window and casting the corporal's face into the most depressing and beautiful shadow Eren had ever seen. Corporal's thin lips were moving…and there were words, soft echoes, coming out. But Eren couldn't comprehend them but it didn't matter. He wanted to draw strength from Corporal's presence. "Everyone's probably drinking up in your name…" That's it. Was this real?
"Eren. You're awake. How do you feel?"
Eren blinked a dozen times, the scene around him becoming clearer. "H-huh? Corporal?"
"I'll go tell everyone," Levi bent and took the cloth from Eren's forehead. Eren didn't even notice it was there until the corporal took it. The back of Levi's fingers brushed Eren's face as he picked it up. Eren felt like his nerves went into shock alert and the wave went from his head to his toes in milliseconds. Wh-what was that?! Did Corporal do that? Why is my heart beating so fast? Gawd, I hope he doesn't notice. What is wrong with me?
"What's with that red face? Have a wet dream? Did you get down and dirty with little Mikasa?" Levi teased as he stood up from the chair.
"She' just my sister! I don't think about her like that, you pervert!"
"You're the pervert."
"Am not!"
"Whatever. I'm leaving. Do you want me to send your girlfriend in?"
"Not my girlfriend!" I want you in here, not Mikasa. Wait, what?
But the Corporal had already left to spread the news. Eren heard delighted shouts and rushing of footsteps around the floor. Was everyone so eager to see him? It kind of felt nice. He'd make sure to ask them about how the mission turned out. Eren gazed at Levi's small back as it passed through the sunlight and into the hall in confused silence.