Corporal Levi left the jail feeling strangely unsatisfied. The further he went from that brat, the more uneasy Levi became. Eren Jaeger might be the best thing that happened to humanity but the worst thing that happened to him.
Outside, the air was getting chilly. Puffs of smoke accompanied his breath. The streets were a bit sketchy. Beggars, drunkards, and prostitutes owned the night. Military police were split up into pairs and made rounds throughout the city. Levi spotted two soldiers playing poker at their post. "Tch." All soldiers had gone through the same training but the ones stationed here within Wall Sina were likely to become out of practice. It was the Survey Corps who were the ones really risking their lives outside the walls every day.
Levi gradually made his way back to the hospital where Erwin would be staying another night. He didn't bother knocking on the door before letting himself in. Erwin wasn't asleep but sitting up in his bed, most likely planning what needed to be done now that Eren was back in their care. Everything from his right elbow down had been devoured, and though Levi was used to seeing soldiers with missing limbs, it was different with Erwin.
"Hey, old man. How's your arm? Not getting spoiled are you?" Levi took out his handkerchief and wiped his hands after having used the door knob.
"By the doctors? They're fine. But I think both of us know who's really spoiling me," the captain smirked. The coy smile looked awkward on him. Levi wanted to wipe it off.
"Take a seat. Where are you heading after visiting me? It's late."
"What I do with my nights is my business," replied Levi before carefully sitting on the chair beside the bed. Who knew who else had sat on it today and what germs their asses had brought with it? Every time it was like this. If only he had the room to carry a bar of soap with him at all times.
"I don't think they'll let you stay here," Erwin thought. He must have been referring to the doctors.
"Shut up. I wasn't planning to."
"How is Eren?"
Levi's ears burned at hearing the name. Erwin always had faith in people, even people who didn't deserve it. It was tiresome to hear him caring for everyone. Didn't he get annoyed whenever soldiers failed him? Without the ability to transform into a Titan, Eren Jaeger was nothing special. He was average at best but Erwin had entrusted Eren and his friends under Levi's command. It was arrogant to say that Levi would not fail them but…
"Eren can shit easy now that he won't be executed. What are you thinking now? I say we head to the kid's basement. The soldiers have all gone through a practice run last month. It would have gone fine if we didn't have the Female Titan to deal with at the same time."
"I put my full trust in the soldiers and that strategy," Erwin shifted in his bed, gathering his thoughts.
Annie is exactly one of the reasons why you should not do that.
"We can try it again, this time for real and not practice," Captain continued, "If we don't try again and get hard results from Eren's home, then everyone who died did so for nothing. You'd better come with me to the meeting tomorrow afternoon. I can't be thinking of this alone and I want other peoples' input on how we're going to do this."
"Sounds fine to me," Levi commented and crossed his legs. "But what if there's nothing there? Nothing that we can actually use to defeat the Titans? What then?"
"I'd rather not imagine that," Erwin frowned. "But if we reach the basement and there's no useable research, or worse, nothing at all, then we'll just have to start again from there."
"Fuck that."
"My thoughts exactly. But Eren himself is our biggest hunk of evidence. He said his father had gone off the wall after the mom was eaten. Eren doesn't have any memory of it, but I'm sure that Mr. Jaeger could be partially responsible for Eren's Titan form. At the very least, he would know more than we do." Erwin suddenly lightened up and released a halfhearted chuckle.
"What is it, creep? Did the medicine you took make you stupid?"
"You have the same ability to say whatever you want as when I first met you. Sometimes I wish I had that."
"It's not hard. You're too nice, Erwin," Levi grumbled. "Even to Jaeger, you…"
"What? Do you think I give him special treatment or that Eren doesn't deserve as much as another? I think you of all people should know how I deal with my soldiers. After these past five years, I know that you're the same."
"I'm not."
"You try to be." Erwin smiled. What an ugly smile.
"That may be true. I just don't like relying on a kid."
"Before, I would've said you should ditch that stubbornness, Levi, but I think that makes you quite the soldier. You know, you and Eren Jaeger have a lot in common. I don't know if you can see it now but others can."
"Oh? Please enlighten me, Erwin," Levi sarcastically answered, putting his elbows on his knees to learn forward.
"I don't want to spoil it for you." His captain annoyingly thought that this was bait. It most certainly was not. He didn't want to play this game. Riddles weren't his thing. "I think you two are getting closer, personally. It's nice to see that side of you."
"Huh? What shit is coming out of your mouth so late, Erwin?"
"I think you believe in him more than most of the soldiers here."
"Isn't it natural to put trust in someone who's proven themselves? That's what we were arguing all morning, wasn't it?" It was a rhetorical question.
"Sometimes, I feel like you're contradicting yourself. You look upset when I put belief in the kid but in the end, you're the one who's taking full responsibility of him, right?"
"We all have the responsibility. It's not for me to say who has more than another."
"Right, right."
"More than any soldier, or Jaeger, I do believe in you the most. That's all I know. Also, I want to transfer that sort of belief into those under me."
" 'Humanity's Greatest Soldier', right?" Erwin poked fun.
"You look like a proud father. You need to stop that right now. I said I believe in you, not love you."
"Sorry, sorry. I guess I'm getting carried away. It's not every day that we can talk like this."
"Save it." Levi looked away and spotted a cobweb in the corner. Unacceptable. Didn't people here clean up at all? He'd make sure to put in a note. What state was the ceiling in? And the window sill? He fought the urge to remove himself from the room then and there.
"I know I took advantage of you, Erwin…Back then…" Levi pushed the words out through the cage in his chest. "But that's over with."
"We both have our responsibilities as soldiers," Erwin's strong words were steadfast, unwavering. "I have no problem keeping those things in the past. I know you've already moved on."
Have I?
"Besides…" His voice became humorous again. "Your responsibility is practically a mirror of your younger self, but maybe with a bit more innocence. I think it's a great match and I have no regrets putting him under your supervision."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Erwin? Don't talk to me in circles. Anyways, you should get some rest before tomorrow. I'm exhausted from listening to you."
"Are you going to be on the roof again?" his captain asked knowingly. He knew the answer so what was the point of asking?
"Yeah, I think so," Levi answered and began exiting the room.
"One more question, if I may."
"What?" He had already reached the door.
"How are your nightmares? Lack of sleep is going to affect your performance."
"Fuck you, bastard…" I know that already. Levi turned heel and left the Captain alone in his small hospital room. How dare Erwin talk to him like that? They weren't family or lovers, just comrades. Erwin had enough to worry about on his own so it was useless to waste more effort worrying about Levi. Always, always, that bastard was like this.
It really pisses me off. My business is my own. This isn't the past. I have my own path, my own goals. I'm not going to bother myself with digging up graves for memory sake. Not even for Petra. He better not bring it up again or I'll kill him.
The Lance Corporal climbed the stairwell up to the clay-shingled roof and sat down in full view of the silver moon. There were plenty of stars out tonight to accompany him. He'd never get tired of sleeping under the open sky. He ignored the incessant hums and murmurs of nocturnal activities below and carefully stripped off his maneuver gear. The shingles were hard on his back but he didn't care. His body shivered when the wind swept through the city with the promise of winter. There was nothing like fighting for your life when your balls were frozen over.
xxx
Corporal Levi woke the next morning with a sickening feeling in his stomach and a head ache to boot. The sky was a pale blue. Dawn had already come and gone. Damn. What had he dreamed about? All he could remember was Petra calling his name. Just shut up already. When was the meeting Erwin talked about? I'd better go ask.
Holding his throbbing head wasn't helping. Levi threw his cape over his re-assembled gear and marched himself downstairs. "Hey, when's that meeting?" Levi tried the door knob to Erwin's room and stepped inside.
"Good morning." Erwin was sitting up in the bed drinking a cup of water. "The doctors said I'm cleared for now so everything is fine. How was the roof?"
"Where can I get some of that?"
"You'd have to ask the doctors."
I don't feel like doing that. "Forget it. When's the meeting and who's coming?"
"It's around three today. We'll have to go to the headquarters. And the usual are coming."
"Should I be expecting the head of military police?"
"Naturally," was Erwin's curt answer.
"Don't worry. I'll behave myself as long as he doesn't make an ass out of himself like last time."
"I'm not worrying about you. Why don't you check on Eren again? Make sure no one beat him up overnight."
"…Fine…The place smells like shit and piss. I hate it."
"You don't have to stay there long," Erwin did not sympathize with Levi's complaint.
"I'm off then," Levi sighed and headed outside.
It was still early but several people were already up and bustling. There was food to prepare, water to fetch, furnaces to heat. Levi used the same roads as last night, glancing at an empty table where soldiers had been posted. A man was taking a broom to the front of the tavern. Levi was thankful he had dependable boots even when this district was the cleanest.
The court rooms were empty when he peeked in and there were no angry people outside the building. So far, so good. Signs pointed him to the judge's office, whose door was open. It seemed as though the military police had already taken care of spreading the results of yesterday's hearing. When Levi had confirmed the okay, he found his way back to the stairwell leading to the cells and made his way down. The air became disgustingly thicker as he descended.
"Corporal Levi," the guard stationed at the locked entrance saluted.
Levi gave the man a brief nod of acknowledgement when the heavy door was opened. The torches were burning strong. They must be making sure that they stay burning all night. Eren's cell was the first on the right. Inside, the brat was still asleep even when in chains.
"May I?" he asked the guard, who nodded and unlocked the cell's door. The steel moaned as it was opened and Eren stirred.
"Today's your lucky day, Jaeger," he announced loudly.
"Ern…Corporal…?" Eren rubbed his eyes open and yawned. "What is it? Can I leave yet?"
"It looks like everything has settled down for the most part so it's safe enough. Has Hanji come yet? She's the one you'll be staying with after all."
"Oh yeah…About that, um…" Eren stirred and his chains clinked against each other. "Yeah, she came but she's actually busy so she said you'd take me in."
"That idiot. What is she thinking, the four eyes?" Levi dug his fingers into his drumming temples. "Whatever, looks like I don't have time to argue."
"But…didn't you say you don't have anywhere to stay? Maybe I can go with Armin and Mikasa…"
"No. You need supervision. That's part of the deal, remember? We'll just have to stay at an inn. Damn it, I'm taking this out of Hanji's ass."
"So you don't have money…You're not paid? Like, at all?"
"Just because the military devours taxes doesn't mean the soldiers get any of it individually. We don't have much of a salary."
"So they expect you to fight without being paid?"
"Why bother paying people who might die tomorrow? Whatever, I have enough for now…Get your things and let's go."
"Right." Eren was released from his chains. His wrists and ankles were red where the skin had begun to chafe. "Um, Corporal?" the brat spoke up while struggling with his maneuver gear, which had been temporarily confiscated and set outside the cell.
"What?"
"Thanks for getting me out. For a moment there, I had been really worried."
What's with that bashful look? Does everyone make you look so pathetic? "I told you Erwin would handle it, didn't I? Hurry up. I need to piss like a horse."
Eren laughed and it made Levi want to cover his ears. The happy sounds coming from that brat…were irritating. It was so honest and unabashed, making his head ache even more. Damn this brat. Why did everything he do make Levi's body, heart, and mind tense? And I'll have to deal with him staying in the same room. Kill me now. I just want this ringing in me to stop.
"Fucking hell. Jaeger, what have you done?!"