Author's Note: For those of you experiencing Angst overload.. It's good for you. Life without angst is fluff and a fluff writer I am not. So grit your teeth and bear it.. because I want you to.

Dean slowly cracks his eyes open. He's disorientated by waking up in bed in the dark. What happened?

Fingers are in his hair.. must have been what woke him up. He blinks as he tries to figure out where the fuck he is. The fingers tighten for a second and he can't help his gasp.

"Cas.." he sighs.

"How interesting."

Dean's eyes fly open wide and he has Crowley by the collar before he fully realizes what's going on.

"Tsk, tsk." Crowley's out of his grasp and standing by the window in a blink.
Don't rumple the suit, He-Man."

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Sam?" The last thing he remembers is talking to him.. trying to explain about Cas..and screwing it up epically. He rubs his temple to inspect a sore spot.

"I popped by to see if the rumors are true." Crowley looks like the cat that caught the canary.

"What?" Dean barks.

"Been partaking in sins of a certain angel's flesh, have we?"

Dean's eyes narrow and he locks his jaw so hard he could break teeth.

The demon allows a small taunting smile. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Pet. I've heard it's quite an event." He gestures to the window at the dark buildings outside and up at the light fixture. "I'm assuming it was out of this world?"

Dean just glares, not giving into the baiting.

"Not even a chuckle?"

"What do you want.. besides my foot up your ass?"

"Touchy. I just want a nice little chat." He makes a show of sitting in one of the motel room's chairs. "Now I'm not one to throw stones, but your choice of dancing partners does concern me. You've been getting biblical with that bastard Traitor of the Lord and I'm afraid it's not good for your health, darling."

"Enough with the foreplay. What the hell's going on?"

If Crowley was here, taunting him.. he had to find Sam. Now.

Dean's fist shakes by his side but he just clenches it tighter to keep still.

Crowley gets up and stands in front of Dean. Cocking his head he reaches out to grab Dean's arm and caress fingers over his wrist. Dean immediately jerks it back and shoves him away.

Holding up his hands in surrender the demon says, "Moose seems to think this little doodle is some kind of Binding Spell. Trust issues, poor boy. See, Enochian Sigils do bupkis on a human."

He paces leisurely as he continues. "So I ask myself.. Self, why would the elder Winchester have Enochian on him that would practically be window dressing?"

Dean crosses his arms waiting for the bad guy monologue to end.

"What angel do the Hardy Boys always seem to be tied at the hip to.. lost marbles and all?

Crowley smirks as he says, "What if all that homoerotic subtext leaking all over the scenery finally got the better of our macho hunter? Then I say.. Self, why would his bouncing baby brother need-"

"Sam? He was with you? Where is he?" Dean interrupts, tired of this already.

"Sounds as if he tore outta her like a daddy with his shotgun to track down the angel who done you wrong." Crowley affected an exaggerated Southern accent.

Dean is already looking for his keys.

"Called me up for counsel. See, he doesn't know you enjoy the whip and chain bit, does he?" Dean ignores him. Fuck, he checks outside and sees the Impala is gone.

"In all fairness, who would imagine an angel being so adventurous? Must have gotten tired of being the one serving on his knees upstairs."

"As fun as this has been, can you leave me the fuck alone now?" Dean says grabbing his jacket.

"Certainly. And Malez Tov, though it's probably short-lived."

"What?" Dean says angrily, distracted.

"Moose is going to clip your boyfriend's wings." That gets Dean's full attention and Crowley grins as he looks up.

"Well sorry to gloat and dash but I am the King. You know how it is.. deals to broker, souls to torture, a Hell realm to rule."

"Wait you Sonofabitch! Where's Sam?

"Waiting for this." Crowley smoothly pulls out an Angel Blade from inside his suit jacket. Moonlight hits the blade and Dean's heart sinks to his toes.

"The next time you see loverangel, it'll be in the ashes of his blackened and burnt wings."

Dean grabs for him but Crowley's already gone.

"Goddammit!"

Dean angrily slams shut his cell for the fifth time. He isn't answering. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Sam's going after Cas. Sam's going after Cas. It loops in his head, over and over again. How the fuck did everything go so wrong in just a few hours. He stares at the carpet for a minute, lost on what to do next. He could usually figure out his brother's next move but enlisting that piece of demon shit wasn't something that factored into any scenario he thought up.

Christ, was he planning to call Cas and try to jump him with a surprise attack? Cas would walk right into it. He wouldn't know to defend himself until the blade was stuck in him. Not from Sam.

He almost prayed to him right them out of panic but Dean made himself stop and think. He'd already screwed this up once. Cas wouldn't just sit on his hands and wait for Dean to call him if he told him what was up. He would try to help thinking he could fucking explain everything and.. Jesus Sam would do it. He would take an angel out if he thought he was protecting him. What if Sam called Cas right now? Fuck, with Crowley helping.. There's no coming back from an Angel Blade.

He needed more time. Sam got it in his head that he was brainwashed or spelled or whatever the fuck the demon had been whispering to him and he'd keep going after Cas until he was dead. God, he can't go through that. Why does everyone he cares about have to fucking die?

Mom. Dad. Ellen. Jo. Bobby.

Images of dead angels start forcing their way to the surface. Anna. Gabriel. Zachariah. He doesn't want to but his mind slots Cas' body in place of theirs. Lifeless eyes. Sprawled body. Ashes of his wings underneath his trenchcoat.

Dean tries calling Sam again one last time before pocketing the thing slowly. He can't risk Cas going to Sam. He had to keep Cas away for a while.. until he can find his brother. If he just came out and told Cas what Sam was planning... he would probably try to naively go and fix it. Cas and Sam had been friends but now that his brother thought he was in danger... he was a deadly enemy.

No time, just do it. He can fix it later.

Clearing his mind, Dean calls him. "Cas."

Arms wrap tightly around his chest from behind and he closes his eyes. He allows it for just a moment. When he feels lips behind his ear, he steps forward away and turns around.

Cas looks him over wearily and asks, "Did your talk not go well?"

Dean sighs. "Not exactly."

Cas frowns. "What's happened?"

"Nothing. It's just… you need to leave us alone for a while. Sam and me. Just stay away, okay?"

Even to his own ears it sounds weird but he needs him to pop far away like now. Cas is searching his eyes for something but Dean turns his head away from him.

"Is this... some sort of joke? I do not understand your humor."

Dean huffs. "No, look please just stay away and don't go to Sam if he calls."

"Why? I will speak with him. Explain-"

"No! Don't go near him!"

Cas looked away and tilted his head.

"But Sam is praying to me now. Perhaps he wants to talk."

Dread and fear were threatening to choke him.

"Just leave him alone! Just.. I'm better now, okay? I don't need you down here hanging around to slap the crazy outta me. Sam just wants to tell you to leave me alone so I'm gonna do it for him."

Hurt and confusion is all over Cas' face. "Mere hours ago, I left you and you seemed content. What has changed?"

Dammit, Sam could come back here any moment. With an Angel Blade. Possibly with Crowley. He's pretty sure both Cas and his brother wouldn't survive a show down. He needed time to fix this but Cas wasn't leaving. His heart jumped when he thought he heard the door but it was one motel room over.

Dean sucked in a breath and started talking quickly… nasty, damaging words strung together to cause the most sting. Anything to make Cas fly the fuck away and not come back.

"Look just leave me alone. You got what you wanted."

"What?" Cas seems more confused than ever.

"Sam was right.. You.. you just wanted to slip in. Get me while I was weak. Vulnerable."

"Dean. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was trying to help you."

Dean looks back at the door once more, then takes a step into Cas' personal space.

"Help me? You just wanted to fuck me." He says with venom.

Cas takes a step away from Dean as if the words physically hit him. Dean tightens his fist to cut his palm with his fingernails but he doesn't take the words back. Go. Go. Please fucking go. He can't meet Cas eyes anymore, so he stares down at the carpet. Then he sees his wrist. Fuck, he knew this would cut Cas even more but it would help convince Sam he wasn't a bitch to some spell.

"I need you to take this off me." He swallows, still staring down. "Please." It hurts him to ask but he does.

Dean doesn't see Cas' face, but after a full minute his shoes appear in front of him. His face is suddenly directly in his line of sight as he kneels gracefully before him. Dean bites his tongue and fights not to respond as Cas' fingers grabs his hips then drag down his jeans slowly. Cas has on his best blank-face but refuses to break eye contact. Dean can feel himself hardening but keeps silent. Hands reach the end of his jeans and dip inside his boot to grab the blade.

Flicking open the knife, Cas holds out his hand as if asking for Dean's. He waits from his knees, not grabbing for it. Dean's hand shakes but he bares his wrist. He watches the blade slide across his skin through the Enochian Sigil he'd stared at, traced so often. Cas slices through his own palm more savagely and presses it down hard.

The pain is not as searing as before but he hates the emptiness it leaves behind more. A few seconds later and they are left staring at each other, Cas still holding his now unadorned wrist.

Dean pulls it back and wishes for a hole to open up and swallow him.

When Cas gets to his feet, Dean thinks he'll finally go but he pauses.

"I am happy you don't need me anymore, Dean. I knew from the beginning we wouldn't be able to part as friends afterwards." Cas gives him a small smile. "But it was worth it. You were worth it. I'd rather have had you than not known what it was to…"

"Cas, we're still friends. I.. I'll see you again. Just.. not now okay?"

"No, you won't." He says blandly. "Don't pray to me. I cannot go back to just assisting you with cases, just providing information when you need it."

Dean almost breaks but just nods instead. Cas will understand. He has to. He just needs to go fix this. He'll fix all of it, goddammit. His brother first. Then Cas. He'll understand. Everything will be fine again. He ignored the nausea in his stomach.. this was only temporary to get Cas out of the cross-hairs.

Dean misses him leaving but hears the flutter of wings.

Author's Note: I promise I'm not a sadist. Hang in there, loves.