It's been almost two weeks since she's had a beer. Two Weeks. Deb knows it's for the better, as she's been trying to do anything to be able to move on with her life. It's as if her murdering LaGuerta has tied a huge weight onto her ankles, and all the shit that's been happening with Dexter is just adding to that weight. She stares blankly into her fridge, and is startled when she feels two arms wrap around her legs.
"Aunt Deb, can I have pudding?!" Holy shit. She's not used to having a little kid running around her house.
"Well, it certainly seems like you're feeling better," she smiles at him and grants his wish by bringing a bowl of pudding out of the fridge. He sits at her kitchen table and begins eating. Deb notices Harrison's coloring book laying open on the floor and picks it up, flipping through the pages. It's full of drawings of dogs, fruits, and other random things, but she stops when she gets to the last piece of paper. It's a picture of a man, a small boy, and a blond woman. At first she's confused, but then it hits her, and she wishes it hadn't. It's a picture of Dexter, Harrison, and Hannah.
"Hey, Harrison, are you excited about moving to Argentina?" Deb takes the picture out of the book and sets it on the table in front of him.
"Yeah, I like being with Hannah. She's nice." Nice? She fucking poisoned you. But Deb doesn't dare say that.
"I bet she is," is what she says instead.
"You're nice too, Aunt Deb," the blond boy smiles, licking the remaining chocolate pudding off his lips.
"Yeah, you think so? I'm really going to miss you," she says.
"Me too." Harrison hangs his head. For what seems like the millionth time, Deb feels bad for the kid. She knows Dexter's just going to be dragging him into trouble. Harrison's still too young to be able to see any bad in Hannah...but Dexter's not.
"Come on," Deb grabs Harrison's hand, "let's go to the park."
I keep putting off the research I promised Masuka I would do on Quinn. Getting revenge for Cassie's murder, figuring out if the Brain Surgeon is still out there, helping Dr. Vogel; these all seemed like high items on my to-do list. But I'm now focusing all my attention on finding Hannah. I go straight to Arlene Shram's house, parking my car in the front and giving three taps to the door. Arlene answers, shaking. Is she scared because she has a fugitive hiding out in her house?
"Hi, Arlene, remember me?" She just looks at me, squinting her eyes.
"Not really..." she finally says.
"I'm Dexter Morgan, I uhh used to date Hannah."
"Ohhh, you're the asshole that turned her in, right?"
"Yes, I am that asshole," I say, "is Hannah here?" I try to catch a glimpse of the house.
"No, she's-"
"You can let him in, Arlene," I voice says behind her. I know it's Hannah, and hearing her voice doesn't make me feel content like it usually does, it makes me angry. It makes my blood boil.
Arlene steps aside and I walk through the door as she shuts it behind me. Hannah's standing there, looking miserable, and that's when I notice suitcases on the floor around her. Looks as though her and Arlene are planning on leaving...or escaping. "Can we have a minute?" Hannah asks, and Arlene nods, heading into another room.
"You have exactly one minute to explain what's going on," I assert, tapping my watch.
"We're leaving," Hannah breathes, gesturing to the suitcases, "I can't-"
"Where are you going?" I demand.
"Why would I tell you that? So you can send the cops after me? I don't think so, Dexter, not again."
I can feel my pulse accelerate, the blood dripping behind my eyelids.
"I thought...I thought you and I..."
"You thought you and I what? That we were actually going to move to Argentina and start a new life together? As if I could ever do that..." She's not making any sense.
"I thought that's what you wanted..." I mumble, sounding like a lost child. Hannah exhales.
"I came back to Miami to kill you...not start over with you," she states, flatly.
"...Kill me?" I question, "after what I did for you?"
"What you did for me?! Dexter, I thought I had found the one person I could count on, the one person I could actually be happy with...and you ratted me out!"
"And I was willing to forgive you," I counter, "when you came back, I wasn't mad, I was glad to see you. That's the choice I made!" Hannah shakes her head.
"You chose Debra," is all she says.
"She has nothing to do with this," I utter, "and neither does my son, so why would you try to kill him?"
"Gee, I don't know, Dexter, maybe because you ruined my whole world, I thought it would only be fair to return the favor."
Arlene comes back into the room then and begins picking up the suitcases.
"Are you two done yet? Our plane leaves soon, Hannah." She grabs her kids and shuts the door behind her. Hannah tries to follow but instead I lunge forward at her, pinning her against the wall with my hand on her neck.
"If you ever, ever, come back here or do anything that puts my son in danger again, I will slice your throat." I let her go and head out the door before she can say anything back to me.
It's nearly two in the morning by the time I make it back to Deb's house to pick up Harrison. I needed to drive around for awhile, blow off some steam, go over all the previous events in my head.
Hannah was using me. Everything she told me about loving me, wanting to run away with me, was a lie. I was being used. Though it isn't the first time, it's different with Hannah because I truly did feel something for her.
I let myself into Deb's house and find Harrison asleep on the couch. I pull the blanket up further over his shoulders and kiss him on the head. To think I was almost ready to put him into even more danger crowds my mind. I grab the picture of me, him and Hannah off the kitchen table and toss it into the trash. It's going to be difficult having to tell Harrison we won't be going anywhere with Hannah. I'm about to sit down in the chair across from him when Deb comes into the room, rubbing her eyes.
"Where the fuck have you been?" I sigh.
"I found Hannah."
"And?"
"It's true...she tried to kill Harrison...and she was going to try to kill me too," I reveal, looking her in the eyes. Any other person would say I told you so, but not Deb.
"Jesus Christ, Dexter..."
"I know, I know," I say.
"So where the fuck is she now?"
"Leaving," I state, "her and Arlene are probably gone by now, she didn't say where they were going, though."
We just sit in silence for awhile, listening to Harrison breath as he sleeps, and then Deb finally speaks.
"I'm sorry," she says, shaking her head, "I know you really cared about her."
"It was a mistake for me to...I should have listened to you, Deb." She sighs, and her face twists into a frown.
"You know I was really fucking hurt when you told me you were moving to Argentina."
"Why didn't you tell me it bothered you?"
"Because it's not like you fucking care about how I feel," she counters, "it was always Hannah. Hannah this, and Hannah that. I couldn't even have a fucking conversation with you without you mentioning her...besides," she adds, "I could tell you were happy, and I didn't want to ruin that."
She's right, I had been happy with Hannah, but Deb has always been the one constant in my life. We endure. She herself had even tried to kill me once while she was confused and still dealing with what she had done, and yet I couldn't imagine my life without her.
"Deb-"
"We can talk about this in the morning," she says, getting up, "I'm fucking exhausted." I watch her as she goes back into her bedroom and closes the door. I make myself comfortable in the chair and stare up at the ceiling fan spinning around and around in circles. At a time like this, I would be thinking about Hannah. I would be looking at her, and she would be looking at me. It would be like fire and snow. I had imagined a future with her, even loved the way she made me feel. My darkness may have wanted Hannah, but my heart, or at least whatever's left of it, would always keep wandering to Deb. I long for her full acceptance, for her to need me like the way I need her. I want her to see me as the good person I had always failed to be. Hannah was just here to fill that void. She was just here because I thought Deb never could be...but maybe I'm wrong about that.
Sorry if it feels like the chapters keep getting shorter :/ I plan on picking up the pace with the story in the upcoming chapters!