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Piper blinked once.
Twice.
Three times.
Percy watched.
Nervous.
Anxious.
Worried.
After a lot more blinks, it finally sank into the Peacemaker of this, and so many other, galaxies. Leo Valdez, her best friend, the creator of the Argo II, the jokester of the group, one of the seven of the Great Prophecy, was dead. Dead. As in, in the Underworld, never to be seen again. Dead. As in, not breathing, not warm, not flirting with girls that didn't deserve him, didn't care for him. Dead. As in, not in Piper's life, but in her dreams and memories- the good, the bad, the funny, the sad. Dead. As in...dead.
"How?" Piper croaked, tears falling without her consent and Percy was wiping them away with a shaking hand.
Percy looked away from her, from her sadness, from everything that he caused. "I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes tightly, though that only encouraged the last sight of his friend, of everyone's friend. "I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and he moved away from touching her. The only thing he caused was death and sadness. To Annabeth, to Piper, to Leo's girlfriend, to everyone.
"Why? Why are you sorry?" Piper rasped out, wiping her own face and feeling her heart get tangled in the labyrinth that was her stomach.
Percy coughed in an attempt to stop his crying because he shouldn't be crying. He wasn't being told after going to hell, getting punched by an ex, and finding out that ex lied about what happened, that his best friend of so many years died. It was all his fault. All of it. The moment that one dark spell by that one damned magician where it was heading towards him and he didn't notice and Leo- God, Leo- jumped in front of him to save him. Tell Sarah I love her, please, his last words. All him. "I'm so sorry," he repeated with a pained strain in his voice.
"What happened?" Piper asked, curling into a ball and watching him through a blurry vision, caused by her tears. Why was he apologizing? He couldn't have killed Leo; she knew he wouldn't have done something like that. He was there, she swore, he saw what happened and he was sorry that he couldn't save him. That was it. He would never cause Leo's death, anyone's death. It's not in Percy's nature. No matter how many wars this one kid has seen, he would never ever do something like that: cause a person to die, cause someone to lose a loved one, a friend.
"It's all my fault," he whispered hoarsely to the ground, his eyes closed, the raging battle field flashing through his eyes. The blood trickling from Leo's mouth. How he tried to make a joke about it, pretend he was okay. The magician falling down right after, too late, not caring. The harsh breaths. It all echoed, flashed. It wouldn't fucking go away. "I-I never meant to- I just- I didn't see it coming," he croaked, the tears falling fast even through his closed eyes. "I-I didn't want him to...I-I tried, Piper, I did- I- gods, I'm so fucking sorry."
"What are you talking about?" she wondered quietly, afraid of the answer. Not afraid of the outcome, since Chaos, that could never be changed. Her heart, still lost in her knot of a stomach, started pounding quickly, dangerously. What happened? What was he sorry? He wouldn't do anything like that! He wouldn't! No, no, he wouldn't...he wouldn't...
Percy put his elbows on his knees, clutching his head, trying to pull his hair out. He didn't deserve to be sitting here with her. He caused her so much grief. He made her leave, he didn't mean to, but he was just so hooked up in Camp and memories, and he didn't realize...he killed her friend- her best friend...he told her everything bad...why can't he tell her something good? Why can't he just not make her cry? Why can't they just go back when everyone was friends, everyone was together, safe- why is everything so horrible to him? He took a shuddery breath and with his voice cracking and quiet, he choked,
"I killed him."
"No you didn't!" Piper yelled instantly, jumping up and shaking from head to toe. "You didn't! You would never! You wouldn't!" she cried, tears pouring down her face and the remains of what once was her heart, piercing her stomach.
Percy gave a sob in response.
"You wouldn't," she repeated, though her voice was breaking and cracking every syllable. "You would never kill Leo! He was your friend; he never did anything to you! You- You- You would never kill him!"
"I'm sorry," he said, though it was barely audible. "I'm so sorry."
"No, no, no!" she fell in one of the other chairs and hugged herself, choking back a sob and shaking her head. "You wouldn't! You- You wouldn't!"
"He," -he swallowed heavily, and the tears hit the carpeted ground like a hurricane- "He saved me, but I tried, Piper, I tried."
"No," she whimpered, her mind spinning with the echoing thought:
Leo was dead.
What ever happened to in one ear and out the other?
"No, no, no," she repeated, and Percy gave a choke.
"I'm so sorry..."
They both cried. Cried for a lost friend, a great hero, a jokester and "ladies' man", a fellow Greek and demigod, an action that was done in honor. They both cried for Leo Valdez, son of Hephateus, maker of the Argo II, fire user, hero, friend.
Piper cried into her knees, her shoulders shaking with the force of her tears, her mouth moving with words no, no, no. Percy cried while clutching his head, the tears falling harshly on the carpet, seeming to slow down as they hit the ground, exploding with shards of both of their hearts. Piper saw memories of her friend, where she was worried and stressed and he made her laugh, of the boat ride, of the things he did to save the world, the girls who turned him down, but he never faltered. Percy saw the last few moments of the friend's life, the war raging on around them as Percy fell to his knees and desperately tried to stop the bleeding and tried to him alive. Piper heard the way he laughed, how funny he was, the nickname he gave her- Chaos, does she miss it now. Percy heard the hoarseness of his voice, the late warning of him before he jumped, the last words, the painful groan and laugh, the cries of Sarah, his love. But they were crying. For the same person. Not for the same reasons- Percy killed him, how else could he cry?- not for the same memories, but for the same hero.
And it killed them.
Killed them to a point where Percy wanted to go back, go back to when Leo was seen walking with Piper and her beautiful laugh echoed in the dining pavilion, having not found out about Jason or Reyna, and when they would hang out and she would tease him about Annabeth and he'd stutter. Killed them to a point where Piper wanted nothing more than to leave, leave again, leave her fears, her friends' deaths, her worries, her ex-boyfriend's wife, family, kids. She wanted happiness and no worries, no problems. She didn't want to dream about the death of her friend, the memories that were now hollow and could never happen again. She wanted to leave and fuck everything, because Chaos, why does everything bad have to happen to her?
It took them a while, both grieving, both crying and broken hearted. But when it was all over- or was it really, nothing seems to stop- Piper slowly stood up on shaking limbs with a shaking stroll, sat down next to Percy who wouldn't open his eyes. He couldn't face this, her tears, her pain, the horrified look she had to have on her face when he told her. He couldn't face always seeing her crying and knowing that it was all his fault; he killed her best friend, he killed her life at Camp, and Chaos, he could've even killed her relationship- if he had done something...looked in on them...checked it out...been there for her...
"Did you try?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and lips tasting like salt.
He gave a single, sharp nod in response, his nails digging into his skull that he shouldn't be able to feel.
Slowly, hesitantly, Piper wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder, biting her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.
"I'm sorry," he croaked, his voice husky and his tears falling down to the ground. "It's all my fault."
She shook her head, closing her eyes. "Don't say that please," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "You tried, it's okay."
"It's not," he choked, sniffling. "I should've taken it, I should've-"
"What? Died?" she interrupted harshly, her voice now showing pain. "You want to die?"
"I should be," he snapped weakly. "He would still be alive-"
"And what? Annabeth would've lost you, the Camp, your mom..." she turned her head to hide her face in his side and whimpered, "Me. I would've lost you."
He wiped his face, not moving to put his arms around her. She could end up dead to, because of him, and Chaos, if that happened...
"You would've never known," he said quietly, the thought making him crumble all over again. No, it was his job to protect her, and he was never going to let her die. No, he found her and god dammit, people, he's keeping her for eternity.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she gave a hollow, harsh laugh he flinched to. "I would've known," she told him with her voice breaking. "And I know that you tried, and that's all that matters. He died a hero..." She nuzzled further into his side, needing comfort, needing that friend, needing him. "Just like he wanted to."
"I'm sorry," he repeated like a broken record. It was the only thing he could save. What else could he have said? Oh, yeah, Leo's dead, but a hero, so everything's okay again, how about a movie?
"Stop saying that," she pleaded, whimpering. "Just stop it."
He shook his head and wiped his face, his hands coming back wet. "I tried everything," he told her. "I-I just couldn't do it. He was so stupid for taking that spell..."
Piper hugged him tighter and he moved one of his arms around her, to pull her closer and let himself know that it was Leo, not Piper that's gone and she's safe. But he never lifted his head.
"I didn't see it until it hit him, I don't even know what it is," he choked back another sob, his voice breaking. Why did he always end up not knowing? "It just- just hit his stomach and he was down...I tried to save him, Piper, I really did."
"I believe you," she whispered, her voice muffled. "I do."
"And when it was over..." He breathed a shuddery breath, wiping his face with his free hand. "Sarah, she- she just hit me and hit me...I took it because it was my fault, it was all mine."
She decided to ignore the last one. "Who's Sarah?"
"His girlfriend." Another choked sob. "He was going to propose when the war was over. I screwed it all up for them. They could've been happy and normal."
"It wasn't your fault," she whimpered, her heart shattering again, the little pieces getting stuck in the flesh of her stomach. "Stop blaming yourself."
"It is," he snapped firmly. "If I had noticed earlier..."
"Or if he hadn't noticed?" she choked, finishing his trailed off thought. "Stop thinking like that, Percy...it scares me."
"I'm sorry," he said hollowly. "It's just...the Fates are so destined to kill me, but I always live, and someone else dies...someone I love..."
"Percy," she whimpered, clutching to him and crying in his side.
He leaned back into the couch and she moved to crying into his chest and he stared at the ceiling- stars, millions and millions of them- blankly and with a blurry vision. He wiped his tears for the hundredth time before pulling her closer and stroking her hair. How many times had he made her cry? How many times will he make her cry? And how many times have they sat here, crying and comforting, just in the past 48 hours? Can't he make her happy and cry tears of joy or something good?
Was it even a good thing he's here with her now?
They sat like that for a while, too, before just sitting there. The memories were gone, but they hung in the back of their minds, waiting to be remade, reshown in their dreams to haunt them and keep them awake. They wouldn't leave, would never leave, but pass. That evil word, pass, leaving for a time, but always coming back. Why can't any of the good, loving memories have that factor, that word? Why can't they leave, but come back, fight off the bad? Why is that the battles in the world happen all the time, but there's never that battle of good and bad memories in everyone?
Piper was half asleep when Percy picked her up off the couch, carrying her up to her room. She only wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed and red, her cheeks and nose red and wet. He set her down in her bed, tucked her in and then kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her dry skin. After a moment, he whispered against it, "I'm sorry," before picking himself up and leaving, turning the light off and closing the door after him.
Piper wished he wouldn't have ruined that moment with those words.
Percy shot awake, panting and sweating from his dream- er, nightmare. Of course, it was when Leo died. It wasn't like he had anything else to dream about. Not the fight with Jason, the way he punched Piper. No, it had to be someone dying. What was wrong with his head?
He shot of bed, however, when he heard the scream from the next room over and his heart dropped down to his feet, still beating and thumping erratically to break out of his chest. With wide, panicked eyes, he was in Piper's room within two seconds. She was screaming and thrashing in her bed, obviously from a nightmare, probably one about Leo dying. "Piper!" he yelled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her frantically to get her up. Her face, once pink during the night, was red with tears and contorted in pain. "Piper! It's a dream!"
She sat straight up in the bed and her eyes darted around the dark room, worriedly, fearfully, nervously, before landing on Percy who was standing at her with the panicked expression he had when he heard her scream. Once she saw him, she threw her arms around him and sobbed into his neck. "It's okay, it's okay," he soothed quickly, wrapping her in his arms and sitting on the bed with her. "Just a dream, that's all it was."
Bailey and the rest of the crew sat at the door, watching. When they deemed their Peacemaker not being attacked or hurt, they headed back to their rooms, back to sleep. Nothing they could have said anyway would have helped. They didn't know who they were talking about, what the dream was about, and simply didn't have the connection that was obvious between the two Greeks. Percy could handle anything and everything to do with Piper, and they would only step in if they were asked or if they were truly needed. This was not when they were needed. Piper only needed Percy.
"There was a bomb, and- and it fell! On you, on Camp, on Leo, on my dad, on Bailey!" Piper choked out during her sobs, clutching to Percy like he was her lifeline. "I couldn't do anything! I-I just sat and watched!"
"Don't worry, it was all a dream," he promised in her ear, rubbing her back in soothing circles. "None of it was real. I'm alive, Bailey's alive, Camp's okay. It's alright."
She nodded, but her crying didn't stop and the images of everyone burning...dying...flashed in her head with the screams- Chaos, the screams for help, for relief, for life- echoed behind it all. She shook terribly with fear and horror at it all. Everyone she loved, she cared about, everyone was dying, right there, right in front of her eyes and she couldn't do anything about it. She could just stand, cry, and plead for something amazing to happen. Was this what Percy felt like when he saw Leo die? Horrified, guilty, like it was all her fault? Why was everything in this world so coated with pain?
Eventually, she calmed down, due to Percy's constant reminders of it being a dream and him being here, alive and warm, strong and here. From the way his hands were shaking and his chest was heaving, she could tell he wasn't sleeping well either. At least, somethings are shared by other people, huh? She pulled away and sniffled, hiccupping from her nonstopping crying and laid down, Percy tucking her back in and soothing the hair away from her face. "It's okay," he whispered, watching her with red rimmed eyes from earlier and his hand still slightly shaking. "I'm okay, Bailey's okay, Camp's okay. It was just a dream, okay?" How ironic is it for him to be comforting both her and him from the same concept of a dream?
She nodded slowly and wiped at her face again. "Everyone's okay," she mumbled, though it was a hollow everyone. Leo wasn't okay, her dad wasn't okay, Lacy probably wasn't okay, all her siblings, all her family, they weren't okay- but neither was she. She was scared, nervous, tired, and just wanted to leave it all behind. She didn't want the pressure of the world, of the universe. She didn't want to hold on to it all alone, she wanted someone, a friend, that she was open to and not scared would leave her. She wanted Percy, god dammit.
He kissed her forehead again, but this time, got up with no words. He stroked her cheek, not wiping his wet knuckles on his pants and made way to go back to worry about his own dreams, his own sleep. But he was stopped when she grabbed onto his hand and he looked back at her. "Stay?" she whimpered, her eyes wide with fear and innocence.
Without hesitation, he nodded and slipped under the covers with her, grabbing her in his arms and pulling her close and tight against him. She didn't hate him, blame him, it was all going to be okay. She would help him, help him get over the guilt stage. She wouldn't ever leave him. It was as simple as that. She wouldn't leave, he wouldn't leave; they'd stay together. Because really, they only needed each other.
And this time when Piper slept, the bomb was underwater.
I literally cried during this. No joke. It was hard to write, but I think we needed to go into the emotional stages of them, learn a little more about Percy and what happened while Piper was gone. Percy, being the loyalty flawed guy he is, would obviously blame Leo, the hero, on himself and it would eat him alive. Piper, being as weak emotionally as she is, would have nightmares about people- Leo practically- dying, and they would comfort each other because they're both a little messed up.
Okay, I've got tomorrow and Wednesday to get to 13 chapters. Think I can do it? Think we can get up to over 200 reviews? Let's do it, people.
Now...
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